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These days, it's all about keeping kids eligible by actually making them go to class. It's about going home early to be with your wife and kids when you're at home and it's about going back to the hotel early when you're on the road.

It, apparently, is not about gambling, drinking, seeing strippers, or hanging with college co-eds.

Four big-name coaches have been fired (or most likely will be fired) in the past four months, not because of their work on the field, but because of their "work" away from their profession.

Mike Price gave everyone a new graphic image to imagine when we hear the words "Role Tide." Apparently, it is no longer cool to go to a strip club, drop absorbent amounts of money, invite the stripper back to your hotel room, "not have sex with her," and let her order everything on the menu while you're not there.

At least one of the strippers said Price was a total gentleman. I mean, if you're going to have anyone in your corner, I can't think of anyone better than a stripper you had just given thousands of dollars to.

Should Price have been fired for it? Probably not. Because there is a good chance a family member/boss/co-worker might see this, I'll tell you I've never been to a strip club before. But from what I've heard, they're not exactly desolate places. In many places, stripping is legal. People go to strip clubs. Some "dancing establishments" claim to have better food than local restaurants. I wouldn't know, I've never been, but I've heard many of these claims to be true.

Elsewhere, Larry Eustachy was fired for basically hanging out with college kids. He's a 40-something guy, just chillin' with a bunch of co-eds from the University of Missouri and he got canned.

If I'm pushing 50, and I'm still able to have a beer with 18-, 19-, 20-year-old college girls, then I'll consider my life a success. It sounded like the only thing Eustachy was guilty of was going through a mid-life crisis and it cost him his job. He should have bought a Porsche instead.

Should he have been fired? No, probably not. So what if he was the state's highest-paid employee? So what if he kissed a college girl on the cheek? He was basically a laughing-stock anyway. He's like that guy that keeps showing up to college parties, even when he's 32 and he keeps tell you about the good old days when George Bush, Sr. was President. Except Eustachy is more like 52, and he's telling you about the good old days when Kennedy was president.

The guy is a total goon, not a bad person and not a bad coach. Personally, if you're going to fire him, say you're firing him because he wanted to hang out with the MU players instead of the Iowa State players.

Rick Neuheisel hasn't officially been fired yet. There are reports swarming all over the place that he's next to go and he's putting out reports that those initial reports are all bogus and he's still reporting in to his office as the coach.

Makes a person think twice about filling out their bracket next year.

Okay, what Slick Rick did was illegal. It was gambling. It was wrong. And it's also something that about a billion people do every year. Sure, he paid more than the standard $5 entry fee, but do you really think that because he dropped $5,000 and picked Maryland to win the 2002 NCAA championship, it somehow affected the outcome?

Will he be fired? Probably. And with better reason than the previous two. The NCAA is extremely clear on the gambling rules. Definitely more clear than the rules about going to a strip club. They make athletes attend meetings every single year, explaining exactly what gambling is and what they are and aren't allowed to do. Simply put, they aren't allowed to do any of it. Neuheisel knows the rules and he broke the rules. He should be punished by doing pushups or having to watch "The View" every morning, he shouldn't lose his job.

And let's not forget about Jim Harrick. He is a weasel. He's like that guy you work with who never wipes when he's done. Even after he leaves the scene of the crime, the stench follows him no matter where he goes.

Harrick got the ax after a former player, another weasel by the name of Tony Cole, said he never attended a class taught by Harrick's son and still got an "A." I, for one, was shocked when Harrick was fired, especially after that heart-wrenching interview he did with Dick Vital, proclaiming his innocence.

Should Harrick have been fired? Yes. Two things bothered me about the situation. One is the fact that he recruited Cole in the first place. Tony Cole is a guy who had a new excuse ever half-hour. He had been to something like 824 schools over the course of six semesters. He was a cancer and it was obvious. But Harrick insisted on giving him that 825th chance anyway, then cut him loose after letting him cheat his way through school to stay eligible. Did he think Cole was just going to leave with his head hung?

The other bothersome item was the interview. I don't mind a bold-faced liar, but only when they're telling me I'm attractive or that my feet don't really smell that bad. Harrick would have done better to hire an actor that looked like him so he would have at least had a shot at a believable performance. I give Vitale credit, he did ask some straight-forward questions. The only problem was that he pretty much let Harrick slide on the straight-forward lies.

The guy is a snake and if he gets hired tomorrow as a junior high school coach in Delaware, it wouldn't surprise me one bit if he was fired with three years for recruitment violations.

So, the moral of this story? ... If you're into strippers, gambling, having a beer with co-eds, or letting your son teach a class and not making any of your players show up, don't become a college head coach.

Because coaching and fun apparently don't mix.

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