Lets make a story.

[Heathen]

OK... lets all get together, join hands and make a little story. Keep it nice or I'll come through your screen and slap you. I'll start:

It was a hot summer day...

[KevinBeane]

at an Ardmore, Oklahoma Burger King....

[Heathen]

.. which is owned by Magic Johnson. In walks LeBron James...

[KevinBeane]

It's only 9 AM, but LeBron tries to play the celebrity card to get an early Rodeo Burger...

[franky]

, but the Burger King employee didn't go for that, and didn't seem to care that he was a celebrity. "I'm sorry Mr....umm...James...Is that it? But, according to my regulations I cannot offer you a free burger. Even if you are a celebrity athlete."

Lebron James, puzzled and bewildered, turned to the man behind him and said, "....

[Ellis]

"**** this ****!" So he pulled out a gun and capped the Burger King employee. But then, out of no where...

[Heathen]

..came Oj Simpson...

[Ellis]

...who said "hurry! we are going to have to get you to Cochran's if you are going to get out of this one"...

[franky]

When in walked the owner, Magic Johnson, who said, "Lebron, did you just do what I thought you did? Why did you cap this guy in my restaurant?"

Lebron then....

[Ellis]

decided to shoot Magic Jonson too. So then they( Cochran, OJ, and Lebron), decided to hurry over to John Cochran's secret Hide out. While there....

[MSU#1]

they called Star Jones for a "good time". (After finishing her box of Twinkies) Star said...

[da12ken]

"let's go on The View to discuss all this like civilized people."

So they (Lebron, Cochran, OJ, Star) were in makeup getting prepped for the show when...

[Ellis]

... Jerry Springer kicked open the door to makeup and said "why the hell are you going on this crappy show? Why not come over to my show?"

So Oj, Cochran, and James thought about it for a while. They came to the desision that...

[da12ken]

...they should go on Jerry's show. But Star was no push-over (think about it...) and wouldn't let them leave. So Cochran took out a bloody glove (that did not fit) and slapped Star for her rude behavior.

Then Star and Cochran got into a fight with everyone chanting "Jerry" when...

[Ellis]

Lebron decided that it would be best to shoot Star Jones too.

So they capped her and then...

[franky]

Lebron saw a mysterious looking lamp on the ground. It was a genie lamp! Maybe this could help this cold-blooded murderer take his mind off things.

He was deciding whether he should try to rub the lamp or not, and finally decided...

[KevinBeane]

..to rub it. Ellisismyhero came out, and said, "I can grant you three --" and the LeBron shot him in both hands, so he could no longer advance the story by just saying, "And then he shot him!" After Ellis composed himself, he...

[Ellis]

went to KevinBeane's house and shot him in the leg:lol:. After that ellis decided to...

[da12ken]

...play poker with Lebron, OJ, Cochran, Jerry Springer and a bunch of dogs. After two hours of poker...

[Ellis]

Ellis was up a million dollars. Becuase of His( Johny Cochran's) big loss he ....

[da12ken]

...had OJ and Lebron sign autographs to pay off the debt back to Ellis. After ten minutes Cochran had sold $1 million worth of autographed Lebron gear. Not surprisingly not a single OJ item was sold.

With the poker game and the debt settled, everyone seemed ready to go their separate ways, but OJ was still mad and decided to...

[franky]

bust out his mysterious "glove" and try to scare some of the others saying, "If the glove fit, you must acquit. You know what I mean" as he slowly put it on and gave the others a cold stare.

Ellis was taken aback, and said defensively, "Wo...OJ, no need to get sore. I know you can't play poker, but jeez. Do you have to whip that thing out all the time to try to intimidate?"

Johnny Cochran, as usual, decided to help out OJ during his time of crisis. He tried to calm OJ by ....

[Heathen]

... giving him a ride to Disney Land. The Juice was so happy that he....

[KevinBeane]

He takes one of the swords from "Pirates of the Caribbean" and started looking for blonde women. When he found one...

[franky]

he found the perfect match for him, Anna Nicole Smith, who happened to be waiting to get on Space Mountain.

Her son was with her though, and so was her lawyer. Her son began to whine "AAAhh...gee willikers! I don't wanna go on another ride Anna..errr...Mom! I almost threw up last time."

Anna began to get the vodka flask out of her purse and take a swig when she looked up and noticed OJ.

"You just quit cher talkin' boy b'fore I take a belt to ya! Looky there, is that OJ? Or did you put something in my Vodka?"

[da12ken]

(this is getting really bizarre...)

OJ began to chase the Smiths with his sword, swinging it wildly. He cornered them by "It's a Small World" before proclaiming,

"You've been JUICED!"

Anna's camera crew for her atrocious reality show had been replaced by workers for OJ's new prankster show.

Anna was so shellshocked she...

[MSU#1]

<ADMIN EDIT: Try again, MSU. Something that isn't just a long string of foul language and anti-gay slurs. >

How is making fun of Anna Nicole's entourage's lifestyle choices "just a long string of foul language and anti-gay slurs."???

Anyway...

[gconnhokiebird]

that was funny, looks like an admin ruined the fun. another one should be made

[franky]

It was the ninth inning of the big game, and the score was 3-2. I was my turn to bat with a runner at 2nd and two outs. The first pitch came to me and it was....

[Habs Fan]

high and inside ....... hitting me in the head. I went down for a few moments and then stood up ..... glaring menacingly at Randy Johnson who smirked back. I started to ......

[franky]

walk to first base, when all the sudden I felt dizzy and lightheaded. Suddenly, my vision began to get blurry and the next thing I knew I was....

[Ellis]

in the hospital bed.

When I finaly relized where I was, I saw that Lindsay Lohan came to visit me in the hospital.

When I first woke up she came up to my hospital bed and said...

[Habs Fan]

"Hello Champ" said Lindsay. Mr. Steinbrenner sent me to see how you're feeling. Apparently he doesn't like the fact that you've be seeing Mariah Carrey on the side. Mr. Steinbrenner thinks that you and I would be a much more conservative couple. I smiled weakly at Lindsay and replied ......

[Heathen]

... "tell me.... are those real or fake?"

[Ellis]

and she said "Would you like to find out?" as she winked at you.

Half a second after that, you didn't even hesitate to say...

[Habs Fan]

"You crazy lady .... get away from me!" as your wife enters the room. Your wife graps Lohan and tosses her out of the room. "I'm sorry honey," she remarks, "I know as a famous ballplayer you always have to be aware of crazy fans." You look at her as if .....

[Ellis]

she was crazy. You reply "Do you know who that was? That was Lindsay Lohan. You blew my shot hooking up with her. I thought you said you were a good wife."

Looking very confused, your wife says...

[Habs Fan]

"I'm so sorry," your wife says, "but if it helps I brought two other ladies who wanted to see you." In walks Beyonce and Faith Hill. You sit up only to hear them say ......

[Ellis]

"Welcome to the hotel California. Such A lovely place."

Begining to think that you have heard that somewhere before, you reply...

[Habs Fan]

"Holy crap, this isn't any regular IV, this is high-grade herion." You stare aimlessly around the room when Snoop Dog enters demanding payment for you "special services." "Hey player .... where's my cash money?" You reply ....

[BurghGuy]

cry. But then I realized that crying is for sissies and that I am a man. A crazy man with a sword (not cork) hidden in my bat. I pulled it out, charged the mound, and...

[Shawndo]

wondered why I kept switching back and forth between participating as myself and referring to "you" as the main character, but then I realized that this was no time for a grammar check! I had Snoop Dogg up against the wall with my knife blade almost cutting into his neck.

It amazed me that Snoop still kept his cool under knifepoint! But then I saw how red his eyes were and imagined someone that high was probably incapable of an adrenaline burst.

"Chill, homey, chill" Snoop coaxed... "we can talk about this like grown folks..."
I eased up pressure and then backed off of Snoop slowly.
Just then the door opened. Instinctively I turned to see who it was and Snoop seized the opportunity to spring on me like a cat; in one deft move he had grabbed my arm and slipped around behind me into a headlock. But apparently he hadn't noticed who it was who had entered the room....

[BurghGuy]

To my amazement and the amazement of others. John Kerry came flying in. And in a deep, monotone voice said, "STOP FIGHTING OR DIE."

Snoop, coming to a realization of how serious this actually was, turned towards Kerry and said, "Hey, *****! You stole that line from me! It's supposed to be 'VOTE OR DIE,' mother ****er!"

Still in that deep, monotone voice of his, Kerry looked to his left and then to his right and realized that after loosing the election...nothing else in this world mattered to him. And with a wink of an eye, and pulled out a gun and shot a t Snoop; killing him instantly.

So now it was just John Kerry, a knife, two Asian chicks and I in a room. I had a feeling where this was going to go ..when suddenly...

[Shawndo]

John Edwards burst into the room as well.... "John! Are you ok?"
"Yes, John, I'm quite alright.... call the police." Kerry replied..

I sat there trembling. A dead Snoop Dogg lay at my feet, blood slowly pooling around his gnarled braids. "Gin and Juice" popped into my head but I discarded it immediately.. what poor taste my brain had sometimes..

The girls were quite shaken as well, over there in the corner all huddled up. And here was the 'almost' President and his 'almost' Vice President. I decided to leave them to their cleanup as it seemed for some strange reason that they had been trailing Snoop..

"Come on, ladies..." I said, extending my hand. "Let's get out of here. Are you alright?"

I wondered how my wife and Lindsay Lohan had turned into two hot little Asian chicks and then it hit me!!
That's impossible, therefore I must be dreaming!
So I did the test: I stared at my hand for a few seconds and sure enough, it started to warp and melt. I knew I was dreaming. "Sweet!!" I thought... "ok, I'm dreaming.. no wonder all this weird sh!t is happening!"
" OK what do I want to do since I can do ANYTHING right now?"

Electricity shot out of my hands, travelling along the walls of the room, causing a deep rumbling along with a loud crackling noise. All the lights shorted out, sending sparks flying as they died, and then the entire building split as if both sides were magnetically repelled from me with extreme force.

I ascended into the night air, electricity arcing and crackling all around me, thinking my GOD this is the coolest dream ever! I could feel the limitless power pulsing through me as I rose just above the top of the building. I felt invincible and yet... I could feel something wasn't quite right..

[BurghGuy]

I turned around and sure enough I saw something...

...It was WILLIAM HOWARD TAFT - America's fattest president! "Holy **** is that guy huge!" I thought to myself. I also wondered why this dream, or so I think it is, was filled with so much politics.

Then it hit me like a sack of tomatoes. This was not only a dream...This was a calling. It's telling me that I should go into politics. "But how?" I asked myself. "But how?"

[Shawndo]

waking up I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes... "what a weird but cool dream!" I thought.. "something about electricity, presidents, and Snoop Dogg.. oh well, it's gone now."

Then I remembered I didn't have the house to myself.
Blast! Why must I share a residence with these idiots?!? Oh yeah... money.

[soxfan]

Still groggy, I padded to the bathroom and splashed some water on my face to wake myself up. But when I looked in the mirror, I saw the reflection of ...

[Ellis]

...Michael Jackson.

Not having any idea of what is going on, I...

[BurghGuy]

blew it off and went downstairs for dinner. There, I saw ten 9 year old boys staring at me. I knew something was wrong...

[soxfan]

... especially when they surrounded me and began chanting, "Please, sir, can we have some more?" Not having nearly enough gruel in the house, I reached for the phone to order takeout ...

[BurghGuy]

but before I could grab the phone, somebody fired 4 shots into my house. The shots scared off the children, which is good because they won't be in the story anymore, however, one of the bullets struck my left thigh. In pain I fell to the floor and was unable to reach the phone. I thought this was where I was going to die...