The Book of Horrible Questions.

[KevinBeane]

A few years ago I bought this great (http://www.amazon.com/Book-Horrible-Questions-Everyone-Price-Whats/dp/0312204345/sr=8-1/qid=1164826632/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-0524514-0883840?ie=UTF8&s=books) "party" book, lent it out and never got it back, and just recently bought it again. The main thrust of the book is asking you if you do certain difficult/dangerous/disgusting things for a given amount of money. I thought it would make a good thread...once a discussion/question peters out, I'll throw up another one.

For $10 million dollars, would you be willing to die (and know you were going to die) peacefully, in your sleep, on your 70th birthday?

If not, you can alternatively choose to die for 5 mil on your 75th birthday, on your 80th birthday for $1 mil, or...

for 100 million on your 100th birthday! The catch there is, you don't die peacefully in your sleep. You suffer a "hideously painful" death of getting tortured for two straight days.

I think I would say "no" to all, although the last one is tempting. They don't specify what KIND of torture would be administrated to you, but I'm assuming the worst imaginable and I won't subject myself to the worst torture I can imagine for any amount of money. If they let me know the specifics of the torture I could make a judgment then, but "hideously painful" does not bode well for the specifics.

As for the peaceful/in your sleep options for less money...for me personally, KNOWING that you are going to die in a year, a month, a week, tomorrow, next time you go to sleep...that would be pretty hellish. So I pass on all. What about you?

[tobynosker]

I am tempted to go with the $10 million dollars/70th birthday deal because I would rather have a peaceful death and then I would have the ability to establish a will and set aside a great deal of money to help support my kids/grandkids and know that they will have financial support once I am gone.

But, another part of me says to go with the $100 million/100th birthday deal partially out of greed, but also because I would be guaranteed to live a full-life, to spend quality time with my grandkids as a grandfather, plus I would be able to provide that same kind of financial support for my family.

For all of that, I could withstand two days of hell.

Give me the $100 million/100th birthday!

[IntheNet]

You suffer a "hideously painful" death of getting tortured for two straight days.

Most married men have that torture their whole lives.. I'd go for it!!!

:lol:

[suedon1970]

I would take the $10 million to die peacefully in my sleep on my 70th birthday. I definitely wouldn't consider it hell to know when I am going to die; I think it would be great because then you can do all the things you have always wanted to, and have the cash to do it!!:thumbup:

I would have slightly more than 33 years, so I would quit work, travel the world with my family, set up my family to live well after I'm gone.

[themush]

Gotta take the 10 Million and die peacefully. Do like Sue, and travel the world end up in the in a house in the keys somewhere. Maybe even think about marrying the old lady. Have some little mush's running around.

Or take all the money and disappear never to be heard from again.

[boston_aloha]

No question, I go with the $100M... then a day before my 100 B-day I blow my brains out... or... maybe by the year 2077 they will have some peaceful suicide device thats legal... either way, I'll for sure find some way to weasel out of my part of the deal... :lol:

[themush]

Hopefully you remember at 100 what you have to do.But if you do:thumbup:

[Dublin Mike]

none of the above. I plan on living forever. :D

[themush]

none of the above. I plan on living forever. :D

Always knew UGA fans were like cockroaches and catfish.:thumbup: :lol:

[KevinBeane]

No question, I go with the $100M... then a day before my 100 B-day I blow my brains out... or... maybe by the year 2077 they will have some peaceful suicide device thats legal... either way, I'll for sure find some way to weasel out of my part of the deal... :lol:

Someone always, always ALWAYS tries to game the system with these questions, it never fails! :D

So I must game back. If they can guarantee you will die on your birthday in whatever year, than you are obviously immortal until then, duh. So go ahead and blow your brains out, it will just instantly mesh back together like in T2.

[Marc]

So if you go with the 100 one, you get 30 more years of life and $90 million more. Gee, tough choice. You could mentally prepare for the torture having lived a long life. An 100-year-old person is close to death, anyway, so who cares how they die. ;) No brainer to me...

[boston_aloha]

Someone always, always ALWAYS tries to game the system with these questions, it never fails! :D

So I must game back. If they can guarantee you will die on your birthday in whatever year, than you are obviously immortal until then, duh. So go ahead and blow your brains out, it will just instantly mesh back together like in T2.

Or I buy a buttload of morphine and get ready with it the day before torture day :thumbup: Bottom line - $100m is the no brainer IMO

[Ellis]

I would take the 1 million and die when I turn 80. That secures everything. A longer than average life, just about enough money to last the rest of your life (as long as it is spent right), and a peaceful death. With that, I could even work for a few years and then retire at like 21.

[Richard the Lionheart]

If I had to choose, I suppose I would take the 1 million 80 thing.

I'm suprised anyone would choose anything other than that, especially the 70 and 75 one. Are you guys willing to put a price tag on years of life? I would take the 100 year one and no money if it wasn't for the torture deal, that doesn't sound like much fun to look forward to for about :uhoh: 70 years...

[suedon1970]

If I had to choose, I suppose I would take the 1 million 80 thing.

I'm suprised anyone would choose anything other than that, especially the 70 and 75 one. Are you guys willing to put a price tag on years of life? I would take the 100 year one and no money if it wasn't for the torture deal, that doesn't sound like much fun to look forward to for about :uhoh: 70 years...

Yeah, but what kind of quality of life would most likely have after age 70? My parents are starting to fall apart physically, and they are only in their late sixties! My stepmom's mother is 96 years old and can't remember if it is day or night.....

[catman]

No question, I go with the $100M... then a day before my 100 B-day I blow my brains out... or... maybe by the year 2077 they will have some peaceful suicide device thats legal... either way, I'll for sure find some way to weasel out of my part of the deal... :lol:

With my luck, I'd probably miss if I tried to shoot myself.
Seriously, I'd take the $1M at 80. I'd get a chance to see grandkids and see my daughter set up her medical practice. I wouldn't go through all of my pension money either, as I plan to work until I'm about 70 anyway, albeit part-time the last couple of years.

[Tarkus]

Tho we're close friends, I'm afraid I don't make deals with the Devil. I'd take a pass...

I'll admit to a chuckle where some would take the torture. There's posters here that can't withstand a sarcastic post but'll opt for intense abuse for money...:confused: :P

[bama4256]

I'll take 80 for one million, but I want the one million right now.:cool:

[The Pirate Bob]

How about I take 100,000 now and give up the last year of my life. As I lay there drooling all over myself, I won't know what is going on that last year anyway.

[boston_aloha]

next question?

[Ravana]

I'd take the $100 million. It would be more than enough to buy a gun and shoot myself when I was 99....

I assume that they excluded that option.

I know: I could sell my soul to the devil, in exchange for a guarantee that for the rest of my natural life, any pain inflicted upon me would be felt by the inflicters instead... hmm. Maybe trading two days of pain for an eternity thereof wouldn't be so bright.... :redhot:

On the other hand, it wouldn't be much of a trade: give me that kind of money, and I'm pretty sure I know where I'd end up when I was done spending it anyway.... :D (They need an "orgasm face" emoticon, don't you think?)

Seriously—if anyone could guarantee that I would live to be 100 and still be able to withstand two days of torture before dying, I'd probably take it. Pain is just pain... and I've already had a lifelong familiarity with it. It doesn't frighten me anymore.

[KevinBeane]

Alright....next question....

For 10 Million, would you....

Have your foot surgically removed, implanted onto your butt-cheek, and your body shaved. You would then have to join the circus as the Gonzo the amazing butt-footed boy (or girl) for two years. After the two years is up, the money is yours and you are free to get all the corrective surgery you wish.

Me: Yes. Touring the world wih the circus would give me a lifetime of stories and writing material, I would like that part of it. So to me, the question just becomes wouold I be willing to, for all intents and purposes, be willing to have my foot surgically amputated and replaced with an artificial one (I seriously doubt they could reattach your own foot after two years on your butt).

I know a guy with a articifial leg (from below the knee) and foot. It's not a bit deal to me. A little physical therapy to learn how to walk with it, and I don't think my quality of living would suffer much. Actually, it'd go up 'cause of the ten million dollars.

[Ellis]

Alright....next question....

For 10 Million, would you....

Have your foot surgically removed, implanted onto your butt-cheek, and your body shaved. You would then have to join the circus as the Gonzo the amazing butt-footed boy (or girl) for two years. After the two years is up, the money is yours and you are free to get all the corrective surgery you wish.

Me: Yes. Touring the world wih the circus would give me a lifetime of stories and writing material, I would like that part of it. So to me, the question just becomes wouold I be willing to, for all intents and purposes, be willing to have my foot surgically amputated and replaced with an artificial one (I seriously doubt they could reattach your own foot after two years on your butt).

I know a guy with a articifial leg (from below the knee) and foot. It's not a bit deal to me. A little physical therapy to learn how to walk with it, and I don't think my quality of living would suffer much. Actually, it'd go up 'cause of the ten million dollars.
There is no way I would take that. First of all, I don't think you are going to get many women when they ask you what you do for a living and you respond " I am in the circus. My name is gonzo the amazing but-footed guy." It would just be too embarassing. It wouldn't be worth it.

[Marc]

Absolutely not! You can't drive a sports car if you remove your foot, or at least easily. That's a deal breaker. :D

[Ravana]

Have your foot surgically removed, implanted onto your butt-cheek, and your body shaved. You would then have to join the circus as the Gonzo the amazing butt-footed boy (or girl) for two years. After the two years is up, the money is yours and you are free to get all the corrective surgery you wish.

That's in the book? That's some book. I'll have to go look for it.

I'd want guarantees that the corrective surgery would work... and the cost didn't come out of my $10m. Then... maybe.

[Ravana]

There's posters here that can't withstand a sarcastic post but'll opt for intense abuse for money...

Give me $100m, and you can be as sarcastic to me as you want to be. I won't mind. :lol:

[KevinBeane]

There is no way I would take that. First of all, I don't think you are going to get many women when they ask you what you do for a living and you respond " I am in the circus. My name is gonzo the amazing but-footed guy." It would just be too embarassing. It wouldn't be worth it.

But it would only be for two years. After that, your foot-butt would be removed and you could have all the Tang your 10 million would buy you. If you could not abstain for two years, consider that you would have a chance at some "I want to have sex with a freak" Tang.

But, judging from your other posts you're not really a casual sex type anyway, and the women you would be interested would not be dissuaded by your artificial foot (or even for your butt-foot if it was during your tour of duty).

[Cure]

You know... with 10mil you could have a sports car seat designed to fit the buttfoot.... on the other hand, and know it's crude, how are you going to take a dump with a foot sticking out of your ass?...I guess you could have a toilet seat designed as well.

I must get this book.

[Ellis]

But it would only be for two years. After that, your foot-butt would be removed and you could have all the Tang your 10 million would buy you. If you could not abstain for two years, consider that you would have a chance at some "I want to have sex with a freak" Tang.

But, judging from your other posts you're not really a casual sex type anyway, and the women you would be interested would not be dissuaded by your artificial foot (or even for your butt-foot if it was during your tour of duty).
One of the few things I did think that I have in common with Holden in Catcher In The Rye are his views on sex :D I defiantly would have done the exact same thing with the prostitute and I would have done the exact same thing if the pimp came looking for more money (even though that doesn't have to with sex) :D It's not that you should only have sex for having kids or anything like that. It is just that you should only do it with your soul-mate and the person that is right for you.

Anyways... it is just the fact that I wouldn't want people to look at me when I die and remember that part of the history of my life was that I had my foot on my ass for two years and did it for money. And I wouldn't want to have to look back on my life and see that part of my life was when I had my foot put on my ass for money.

I just wouldn't want to die knowing that I was the type of person to do something as demoralizing as having my foot on my ass just for money. That is only me of course :D

[Ellis]

If you changed the question to would you do it and have the foot there for the rest of your life and end poverty, I would do it in a second. I just wouldn't do it for money, even if I could have it taken off. It is just too demoralizing and not worth the money.

[KevinBeane]

I see, Ellis. Basically, you would find it too undignifying. Me, what dignity I have isn't defined by a foot on my ass, or lack thereof. I'm sure there are some things that you would find totally kosher that I would find humiliating. Dignity is in the eye of the beholder.

Steve, Hello??? You were the one who asked for the next question, still waiting on your answer! :D

[Ellis]

I see, Ellis. Basically, you would find it too undignifying. Me, what dignity I have isn't defined by a foot on my ass, or lack thereof. I'm sure there are some things that you would find totally kosher that I would find humiliating. Dignity is in the eye of the beholder.

Steve, Hello??? You were the one who asked for the next question, still waiting on your answer! :D

It's not so much the fact of having my foot on my ass, it's doing it for money. Money isn't worth doing something as undignifying as having my foot on my ass for two years. As I said, if I could do and end poverty, I wouldn't even have to think about it.

[BigBuddhaPup]

For 10 million? Yes.

5 million? Yes.

1 million? Yes.

and 100 million? That would be my first choice.. two days aren't a big deal...

I could do much good for myself and others with any of those amounts of money...

Pretty easy hypothetical for moi...

[AmpleSound]

10 million dollars, and die at 70? Yeah I'd give my family a great life, travel to the places I want, and do my best to do something for humanity!

As far as having my foot put on my ass for two years... I guess the circus would be interesting, it would have to be one that travels the world though! As far as getting your foot back, they actually have surgerys now to reattach limbs from donors... At least I know they've attached a hand on a few people in the US! Kinda freaky isn't it!?

[Marino13]

I definetely plan on living forever

..so far so good

[Ravana]

I just wouldn't want to die knowing that I was the type of person to do something as demoralizing as having my foot on my ass just for money.

Just think how well you could do in butt-kicking contests, though.... :lol:

[bearsr4real]

i'd take $10 million to die at 40. i don't really wanna go much past that anyway

[Jaguar Rick]

I would take the $1 million to live to 80. That would give me almost 20 yrs., and I don't know what kind of health I'd have past 80 anyway. I'd have a good time until then....

[Ravana]

[bump]

Time for another question, I think. That one didn't really go anywhere.

[KevinBeane]

Well, I was trying to give Boston_Aloha time to answer, since he agitated for the last one, but eff him!


The book also has either/or questions, where you have to choose between two or more awful scenarios. To wit:

FOR FEMALES WITH A BROTHER:

Which would you choose?

a) Your left breast hacked off with a rusty butcher knife (no anesthesia).
b) Your brother is sentenced to spend the rest of his life in a mental institution for a crime he did not commit.

FOR MALES WITH A SISTER:

a) Your left testicle is slowly, completely crushed in a vise;
b) Your sister is brutally gangraped by four hoodlums, but survives.

****

I think they were aiming to come up with equally torturous choices for each gender, but I think they fell short of that. You can't "recover" from spending the rest of your life in a mental institution (you might be able to live a content life in that institution, but that's about it). But you COULD recover from getting raped. Plenty of rape survivors slay their demons and emerge just as strong or stronger than before.

So, as selfish as this sounds, I would choose my sister getting raped over the testicle vise-crush (another factor is, although I'm sure it's physically painful to get raped, the physical pain of getting your ball slowly crushed, I wager, is worse), but I think my sister should get her breast lopped off before committing me to a mental institution. For the record, my sister agrees with me.

[BigBuddhaPup]

Well, I was trying to give Boston_Aloha time to answer, since he agitated for the last one, but eff him!


The book also has either/or questions, where you have to choose between two or more awful scenarios. To wit:

FOR FEMALES WITH A BROTHER:

Which would you choose?

a) Your left breast hacked off with a rusty butcher knife (no anesthesia).
b) Your brother is sentenced to spend the rest of his life in a mental institution for a crime he did not commit.

FOR MALES WITH A SISTER:

a) Your left testicle is slowly, completely crushed in a vise;
b) Your sister is brutally gangraped by four hoodlums, but survives.

****

I think they were aiming to come up with equally torturous choices for each gender, but I think they fell short of that. You can't "recover" from spending the rest of your life in a mental institution (you might be able to live a content life in that institution, but that's about it). But you COULD recover from getting raped. Plenty of rape survivors slay their demons and emerge just as strong or stronger than before.

So, as selfish as this sounds, I would choose my sister getting raped over the testicle vise-crush (another factor is, although I'm sure it's physically painful to get raped, the physical pain of getting your ball slowly crushed, I wager, is worse), but I think my sister should get her breast lopped off before committing me to a mental institution. For the record, my sister agrees with me.


I am brother with a brother... we don't have to go through anything! Yay for us!:D

[Ravana]

BBP: your (b) choice would be your (a) choice with "you" replaced by "your brother."

...or perhaps the existing (b) choice with the word "sister" replaced by "brother"....


I'd take (a) in either situation.

Then I'd get a posse together....

[tobynosker]

Originally Posted by KevinBeane
FOR MALES WITH A SISTER:

a) Your left testicle is slowly, completely crushed in a vise;
b) Your sister is brutally gangraped by four hoodlums, but survives.

I could live without a left testicle.

I couldn't live with knowing that my sister was brutally gangraped by four hoodlums, and that I could have done something to stop it.

I pick option (A).

[boston_aloha]

Well, I was trying to give Boston_Aloha time to answer, since he agitated for the last one, but eff him!
I thought I answered!! :D Thats my story and I'm sticking to it KB!

I'd go testicle in a vice... NO QUESTION!! Yup, I'd hurt bad, but not as much as the other would for me mentally. If that ever happened to my sister I'd prob lose it. You ever see Deathwish??? That'd be me, no BS.

[IntheNet]

FOR MALES WITH A SISTER:

a) Your left testicle is slowly, completely crushed in a vise;
b) Your sister is brutally gangraped by four hoodlums, but survives..

(a) But just think how big right one will become! :D
(b) Solves all those "What shall I hunt this year?" questions! :D