Just a few jokes - please have a sense of humor!

[AmpleSound]

Alright I'd like to bring out a few jokes to all of you! Maybe you've heard them (what's wrong with seeing them again?), just don't take offense because they are jokes! Share some of your own if you'd like!

What does a mo-ped, and a fat chick have in common?
A: They're both fun as hell to ride, until your friends catch you doin it!

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: The brick doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you lay it!

What's the difference between a blonde and the titanic?
A: We know how many men went down in the titanic!

I've got some fairly vulger ones, but I'll save those for later or something...

[Ellis]

Knock Knock...
Who's There?
Go **** Yourself.

(Will anyone pick up on this one?)

[Marino13]

What do a blonde and a turtle have in common?

Once they're on their backs, they're screwed.


What does a 90 year old womans ****** smell like?

Depends

[BurghGuy]

What does a 90 year old womans ****** smell like?

DependsThat's horrible.......

[Marc]

What does a mo-ped, and a fat chick have in common?
A: They're both fun as hell to ride, until your friends catch you doin it!
Speak for yourself, chubby chaser. Yuck! Haha, I'm reminded of William Shatner's character on Boston Legal right now. He's a freakin' riot. :D

[boston_aloha]

I've heard one like the "Bolnd and the Brick" one but I like this better:
What's the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine?
Washing Maching won't follow you around for 2 weeks after you drop a load in it.

Same joke pretty much.

[grifter]

2 blonds walked into a bar..........the brunette walked around it and proceded to walk into the barbershop.

Yep lame I know but I'm bored.

[themush]

Two guys walk into a bar.......... the third one ducks.

[BigBuddhaPup]

themush, that is my kind of joke *L*


An irishman, a rabbi, and a priest walk into a bar, the bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke?"

[illallowit]

In honor of the holiday season...

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?

Their balls are just for decoration.

[Marino13]

Whats the difference between a catholic priest and acne?

Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13

[themush]

A young boy wrote an email to Santa.

"Dear Santa, Please send me a brother."

Santa replies, "No problem, send me your mother."

[Jaguar Rick]

Q. What does Michael Jackson order at the Chinese Restaurant?
A. Sum yung gai

[eman484]

While watching sports the other night, my wife and I were discussing life and death.

I told her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and relying on fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

She promptly got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer.

Some days I hate being married to a smart *****.

[BigBuddhaPup]

What is the differences between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

[Jaguar Rick]

Q. How many Republicans does it take to roof a house?
A. Only 3, if you slice them very thin.

[AmpleSound]

Awesome guys, I'm glad to see some of you took flight with this thread!

Here are a couple more blonde jokes!

What does a blond and a shotgun have in common!?
A: Giv'em a cock and they'll blow!

What does a blond and a screen door have in common!?
A: After a few bangs they become loose!

[cheesey]

2 midgets walk into a bar in Alaska. The first asks the bartender "Do you have any midget nuns around here?"
The bartender says "NO, I can't recall ever seeing a midget nun around these parts."
After a few seconds, the second midget says "See! I told you that you screwed a penguin last night!!!"

[grifter]

Jesus Christ walks into a lodge, the clerk asks him if there is anything he could do for him. Jesus walks up and tosses the man 3 nails and says "could you put me up for the night"

[Montrovant]

Jesus Christ walks into a lodge, the clerk asks him if there is anything he could do for him. Jesus walks up and tosses the man 3 nails and says "could you put me up for the night"

One of the best parts of The Crow is when he tells this joke :)

[Ellis]

Knock Knock...
Who's There?
Go **** Yourself.

(Will anyone pick up on this one?)

No one got it???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yn38I0Y-zqg

[AmpleSound]

Ok so you guys all know what Larena Bobbit did, well did you hear that her sister Kim Bobbit tried the same thing. Ended up stabbing the guy in the leg, and they gave her a "Missedaweiner"! HAHAHA

[illallowit]

A young magician started to work on a cruise ship with his pet parrot. The parrot would always ruin his act by saying things like, “He has a card up his sleeve” or “He has a dove in his pocket.”
One day the ship sank and the magician and the parrot found themselves alone on a lifeboat. For a couple of days, they just sat there looking at each other. Finally, the parrot broke the silence and said, “Okay, I give up. What did you do with the f-----g ship?”