When you think of Super Bowls, what visions run through your mind? Is it Marcus Allen gliding 74 yards to pay dirt, en route to a 191-yard day, leading the Raiders to a thorough thrashing of Washington in XVIII? Or is it the bulbous surprise that Janet Jackson gave us two years ago, during a revealing half-time show, in which one of her breasts was uncovered (inadvertently, according to her)?
Do you see John Elway spinning in the air as he caroms off Green Bay defenders, while gaining a key first down that led to the winning score in Super Bowl XXXII? Or do you remember the curvaceous beauty in the Tabasco bikini, whose sun burn was actually beneath the red-hot bathing suit, in last year's sexiest commercial? Or, is it something else completely?
Super Bowl XL will be the most-watched television event this year. Seattle and Pittsburgh households will likely compose the biggest TV ratings, because of their obvious interest in the game's combatants. The average person in the Motor City will tune in, because Detroit is the game's host, and residents will want to see how this gala event affects their hometown.
Why, I wonder, will Alaskans break from their ice fishing to watch? What about XL will interest Australians enough to huddle around the tube with friends and share their beloved shrimp on the barbie and their Fosters beer? Finally, if you are not from Seattle, Pittsburgh, or Detroit, and you are not simply a professional football nut, why will you watch this year's edition of the Super Bowl?
What attracts people to this particular game? Is it the glitz, the glory, or something else?
Do you want to see the commercials? Personally, I'd tune in just to see the two office guys dancing to Ooh Baby Baby (I double over laughing every time this one comes on). Or, are you hoping to see that Tabasco bikini again? I'm beginning to perspire, just thinking about her. Perhaps you can't wait to see the new amphibian that Budweiser is going to march out to tout its next great beer — the one with no calories, no carbonation, and no intoxicating effects — I think their calling it Budweiser Reject.
Maybe millions of Rolling Stones fans will run to their TVs (are there any Stones fans who can still run?) because they want to see one more brilliant performance, before Mick Jagger and his pals trade in their guitars for AARP subscriptions.
Apart from these odd attractions, is there anything to thrill people about this game, if you're not from Pennsylvania, Washington, or Michigan? There's no Tom Brady, no Bill Belichick, no unbeaten team, no huge underdog, and no dramatic predictions. The game is fairly starless. Sure, there's Sean Alexander, the NFL MVP, but how many people outside of Seattle will honestly say they turn on a game just to watch Alexander? Don't get me wrong — I love the guy. I had him on my fantasy football team, and I believe he's one of the best running backs in history. He's just not flashy enough to have legitimate star power.
Other than true NFL fans, if you polled people who say they intend to watch the big game, how many do you think could name both team's quarterbacks? How many could identify even one? I'd guess about half, maybe less. How many could name Pittsburgh's starting running back? Two or three?
The Steelers' "stars" are Jerome Bettis, Willie Parker, Ben Roethlisberger, Hines Ward, and Troy Polamalu. These are very good players, but they're certainly not household names. Short of Polamalu, perhaps, which one of these guys would you run to a TV to watch? Again, I love them all, but I'm old school, and I simply don't think the average sports fan cares about them or their competitors.
Over 60 percent of the TVs in America will likely be tuned to Super Bowl XL. Some people will watch commercials; some will focus on the half-time show, while others will concentrate on the game itself, rooting for their favorite team and gasping at every pass and run. And some, like my parents, who have as little interest in football as anyone I know, will watch, too.
They don't care about the game's outcome. I doubt they even know who the Rolling Stones are, and they aren't fans of commercials. Yet they'll watch. Why, I don't know — maybe, like millions of other viewers, just to say they did.
Mark Barnes is a novelist, regular contributor to fantasy football site 4for4.com, and NFL football radio analyst. He appears weekly on ESPN radio in High Point, NC and on WBAL in Baltimore, MD, where he discusses pro football and fantasy sports. Mark's novel, "The League," is the first-ever published work of fiction with a plot based on the dangers of a multi-million-dollar fantasy football league. Learn more about "The League" and Mark's work at NFLStory.com.
February 12, 2006
jason:
I never thought of it that way, but that is probably exactly why most people watch the Super Bowl: just to say they did. Nice insight.