Wednesday, November 21, 2007
NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 36
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Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson finished a smooth seventh at Homestead to easily win his second Nextel Cup title, completing the year with 10 wins and a 77-point lead on Jeff Gordon. Johnson becomes the first repeat Cup winner since Gordon in 1997-98.
"Is this a beautiful piece?" asks Johnson, hoisting the 2007 Nextel Cup trophy. "Last year, after I won this, we let each member of the team keep the trophy for a day, just like the NHL does with the Stanley Cup. It was a great way to let the guys know how much a part of the championship they all are. It worked out great for everyone, although the trophy came back about 3 3/8 inches shorter after Chad Knaus returned it."
2. Jeff Gordon — Gordon finished fourth, giving him a NASCAR record 30 top-10 finishes on the year, but couldn't match Jimmie Johnson's dominance over the last half of the Chase.
"It's not often you hear the second-place finisher say this," says Gordon, "but I own Jimmie Johnson. Well, at least I own the car. But I can't be disappointed with my year. I got married, welcomed a daughter, and finished second in the Cup standings. That's two wins and a second, which I really could have used in the last three races of the Chase."
3. Clint Bowyer — Bowyer started the Chase with a stunning win in New Hampshire, but went out with a whimper in Florida, finishing 39th. Still, Bowyer finished third in the final standings, and served notice that he'll be a force to be reckoned with in 2008.
"I think fans are ready for a country boy to win the Cup," says Bowyer. "You know, I'm not a family man like Jeff Gordon, and I don't have the eyebrows of a two-time Cup champ, but I do drive the Jack Daniels car, which gives me appeal to fans of all ages. I've got a liquor license that I hope will allow me to pour a shot of whiskey into the 2008 Cup."
4. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth was dominant in the Ford 400, leading 214 or 267 laps on his way to his second win of the year. Kenseth also finished strong in the Chase, with five top-fives in the final five races to move up to fourth in the points.
"You know how sometimes you get the feeling that you are being watched?" asks Kenseth. "Well, I had just the opposite feeling on Sunday at Homestead. I got the eerie feeling that I wasn't being watched. And if my commercials had feelings, they would sense the same feeling — that they weren't being watched."
5. Kurt Busch — Busch finished second in the Ford 400, leading 17 laps and collecting his best finish of the Chase. He finishes seventh in the points.
"Congratulations to Jimmie Johnson," says Busch. "He's apparently got winning the Cup under the Chase format figured out. And congratulations to Jeff Gordon, who's apparently got winning the Cup under the pre-Chase format figured out."
6. Kyle Busch — Busch's final ride in a Hendrick Motorsports car ended with a 20th place finish at Homestead. Busch finishes the year fifth in the points, and will begin his career as a Joe Gibbs' driver in February at Daytona.
"Yeah, just what I needed," says Busch. "Tony Stewart calling me a 'rookie' again. But I fully expect us to share information, such as testing and setup tips, as well as effective ways to irritate other drivers and NASCAR officials."
7. Tony Stewart — Stewart completed a disappointing postseason by slapping the wall 14 laps from the end of the Ford 400. He eventually finished 30th, three laps down, and come home sixth in the final standings.
"I've been fairly silent since I realized I had no chance to win the Cup," says Stewart, "which was about eight races ago. It's always a disappointing season when your race wins are outnumbered by the audible expletives you've uttered on live television. Next year, I promise to clean up my act and curse only when there's no camera around."
8. Carl Edwards — Edwards closed out the year with a fifth at Homestead in a race won by his teammate and sparring partner Matt Kenseth. Edwards finishes ninth in the points, 501 behind Jimmie Johnson.
"Yeah, but I did win the Busch Series title," boast Edwards, "which carries about as much importance as finishing ninth in the Nextel Cup points standings. I'm looking forward to next year, in which I'll devote most of my time to Cup races, and even more of my time to intimidating Matt."
9. Jeff Burton — Burton finished strong in the second half of the Chase, with four top-10s in the final four races, including an eighth in the Ford 400, which left him eighth in the final point standings.
"We dug ourselves a hole early in the Chase," says Burton. "Luckily, I wasn't lonely there. There were at least six other drivers in that hole with me. And none of us ever made it out, quite frankly. Before being totally covered, I faintly recall seeing Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon holding shovels."
10. Martin Truex, Jr. — With the departure of Dale Earnhardt, Jr. to Hendrick Motorsports, Truex becomes the face of Dale Earnhardt, Incorporated. Truex finished the season strong, with a sixth at Homestead that left him 11th in the points, 559 out of first.
"I guess Dale, Jr. answers to Rick Hendrick, now," says Truex, "while Teresa Earnhardt will continue to answer to the voices in her head. What's DEI without Dale Earnhardt? What's Budweiser without Dale Earnhardt? What's Teresa without her whipping boy?"
I don't understand the fake quotes. There are people that actually think these quotes are true. What is the deal??