Let’s Keep WWE Contained in a Wrestling Ring

A friend of mine that is in his late 20s and still lives in his parents' basement told me WrestleMania was this past weekend. I'm glad he can still enjoy that. I don't mind wrestling as long as it stays in its little hole. I start growing to hate it once I start seeing movie trailers with that John Cena and when I see things like Linda McMahon running for Senate.

Senator McMahon. That is exactly what this country needs to get its citizens to take government seriously. Someone who has built a life from dressing grown men in spandex, feeding them steroids like they were Everlasting Gobstoppers, and then parading them around a ring.

Linda said she's getting into politics because "Washington is out of control" and that she has the "experience and the strength" to make the changes needed. Until we find out that the Undertaker is the true mastermind behind Al-Qaeda, I'm not so sure the WWE counts as relevant experience. I can't wait until her credentials are questioned by the media.

"Linda, how would you end the violence in the Middle East?"

Linda: "It's simple. We need to arm our soldiers with the deadliest weapon known to man, the steel-folding chair. Then, and only then, will we be able to find Osama Bin Laden and finally slam him through the Spanish announcers' table."

We have enough trouble with normal Senators interrupting the president during addresses to congress, how long would it be before Linda just pulls a Kanye West on Obama and attempts to "cut a promo" on the floor of Congress?

"Barack, here's the deal, brother. What the American people need is change and hope. Let me tell you what I'm gonna do. On July 22nd, at Summerslam, I'm going to put change and hope inside a briefcase and suspend that briefcase at the top of a cage over the ring. Then you and I will enter the cage and you can be damn sure that I'll be the one walking out of that ring with hope and change and when that happens, the first thing I'm going to do is give it to America! And that's the bottom line, 'cuz Linda McMahon said so. Wooooooooo!"

I'm not even saying professional wrestlers can't be in politics; heck, it worked for Jesse Ventura. I would even support Irwin R. Schyster in a campaign for local comptroller. I'm just saying anyone with the last name McMahon can't be in politics. Every politician has skeletons in their closet. Unlike McMahon, most of them aren't available on YouTube.

Now, that being said, I don't doubt for a second that she could put together a formidable campaign. Who wants to go toe-to-toe in a debate with a mother that has slapped her own daughter in the face on national television? Even Kate Gosselin thinks that's extreme parenting.

I just hope, if she does go through with it, that she pulls Paul Bearer out of whatever Golden Corral he's been hiding in and names him campaign manager. Maybe she can make Mean Gene Okerlund her publicist and she can run on a platform of "taking your vitamins and saying your prayers."

We have enough problems in this country as it is. Electing leaders from the professional wrestling world will only make things worse.

Despite appearances, politics is a serious business and for Linda, it's just a million-dollar dream.

Comments and Conversation

April 2, 2010

Kevin:

Wow, you sure are funny. Yeah, making fun of professional wrestling fans is really new and inventive. Could you give me some of your material on how George Bush is dumb or how crazy airline food is?

Honestly, the fact that you are attempting to legitimize yourself on a sports website by talking about professional wrestling and politics already makes your case null-and-void. After all, professional wrestling isn’t a real sport, but I’m sure you already knew that. And while you claim your elitism over people like me (3.95 GPA, member of Phi Eta Sigma, and in the top 10% of my class at my university), it just makes you look pathetic. Do us basement-dwelling fans a favor and write something that you actually care about or, better yet, have a legitimate opinion about, or one of us will be happy to offer this website a competent writer to take your place.

April 2, 2010

Matt Dominguez:

For someone who claims to hate wrestling, you sure do seem to reference it a lot in your article. With the string of politicians in recent memory who have skeletons come out halfway into their term, it seems almost refreshing that Linda’s can be so easily found. Nothing to hide, and nothing to be ashamed of. Linda and Vince have created a huge corporation from the ground up, and created jobs for residents from the entire tri-state area, but you choose to be close-minded and portray her as a on-track-minded imbecile. I look forward to you having your credibility flushed down the toilet.

April 2, 2010

John Weston:

and where do you live Mark in subsidized housing?

Like you’re really amounting to much wriitng on a no name website.

leave pro wrestling alone

April 2, 2010

Jeff:

Dang Mark, you seem to have hit a nerve with the “Linda-McMahon-For-Senate” demographic. All two of them.

Good lord, if you can’t make fun of wrestling, what can you make fun of? Pro wrestling begs us to make fun of it, and they’re laughing along with us, only harder.

I think Linda McMahon would make a great Senator, and her finishing move could be a version of the pile driver, the “Fili-Buster.”

Great article!

April 2, 2010

rolefu:

Are you aware that all three presidential candidates (Obama, Clinton & McCain) stumped on an episode of WWE’s Monday Night RAW program during the 2008 election?

April 2, 2010

Bill:

Wow, picking on professional wrestling. What an innovative, comprehensive approach from a writer who deserves nothing more than a Pulitzer for his extraordinary writing prowess. How creative.

April 2, 2010

Will:

Given that 14 major cities are bidding for WrestleMania, maybe it’s time you give the industry some respect!

Pro-wrestling is enjoyed by people from all around the world, including dignitaries, presidents, actors, football players, businessmen, and Fortune 500 owners!

WWE is also one of the most charitable organizations in the world! “That John Cena” is THE top wish granter for the Make-A-Wish Foundation! (Don’t you feel like an asshole now?)

I, too, have almost a 4.0, graduated top of my class, and have a college degree.

If anything, this article shows how ignorant and pathetic you really are. Yeah, you may be getting some attention and get your 15 seconds of fame, but you’ll always be the same pathetic loser who can’t do anything better than to rag on an industry that has meant so much to so many people!

April 2, 2010

Brian Washington:

I may not agree with Mrs. McMahon’s politics, but I do take acception with someone like you blasting the people who do watch wrestling. I do not live in my parent’s basement and I am a fairly intelligent person who is able to distinguish reality from what goes on in the wrestling ring.

You, my friend, continue the long standing tradition of idiots like Colin Cowherd and Jim Rome who continually insult wrestling fans.

April 2, 2010

Greg Ragland:

From my response column to your views:

“We have enough problems in this country as it is. Electing leaders from the professional wrestling world will only make things worse.”

I find this to be one of the most ill informed comments I have ever read, and shows your bias in a clear light.

After all, the problems with this country couldn’t have come FROM electing the so called “professional” politicians who seem to have their hands firmly in the pockets of any PAC that will throw them cash.

What a horrible notion, electing someone who has assisted in taking a company that was making barely enough to keep them out of bankruptcy - and turning it into a Billion dollar + per year enterprise. It’s a terrible idea to elect someone who knows how to balance the ledgers instead of someone who thinks the way to solve problems is to increase taxes or allow the Country to go further in debt. It’s shameful to even think that she may be a good candidate - despite the fact she’s self-financing her candidacy, which means she owes NO PAC a ‘favor’ for their help.

I invite you to head to my site to read the rest of my rebuttal of your Article. I welcome you to comment, and defend your stance.

http://www.shootfinish.com/2010/04/and-the-beating-goes-on/

April 2, 2010

Chris Methods:

Hello Mark. I would like to fight you. We could do it for charity, or we could do it if you need the money. The reason I want to fight you is not just your bashing of pro wrestling fans, the people I make a living because, but also your views in general. Your Kornheiser article and especially your article about the whites only basketball league are some of the worst examples of writing I have ever seen. You seemed to glorify and nearly cheer on the racism and hatred that the all white league is all about. My e-mail is [email protected] You may look me up on facebook, or just email me. I just really want to punch you in the face. Thank you.

April 2, 2010

Matt:

Hey Mark,

Just one question….When do YOU plan on moving out of mom’s basement?

You can insult me and all wrestling fans as much as you please, but remember those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones!

You are probably no more than a washed up wanna be high school athlete who never could make varsity so you did stats and washed towels. That lead you to this fabulous $5/ hour job you have now that lets you “think” you are still in the sports world.

So have a fun weekend in your “little hole” with your Swanson TV dinner watching sports center WISHING you had any kind of talent at all.

April 2, 2010

Mark Radulich:

what was the point of this article? you cite no policy of hers to disagree with nor back up your assertion of why she has no business in politics. Unless your dad was a congressman, most of today’s congressmen came from the private sector, whether that be law, medicine, academia, or entertainment. And the record shows that while Vince had the vision of taking regional wrestling to a national level, he would not have succeeded without Linda providing the business savvy to succeed. One might even argue that without Linda the WWE would be a loud, expensive, poorly run circus (TNA I’m looking in your direction). This “article” doesn’t even rise to the level of poorly written blog. It might equal the intellectual capacity of comments written on 411mania by Paul Roma though. 411Mania is the website i found out about this stupid article. i was like, Who the hell is Mark Chalifoux? And anyone from a .org making commentary is as reliable a source as any “blogger”. Fake journalist!

April 2, 2010

Mark Chalifoux is a Douche!:

Hey Mark Chalifoux, I’m a wrestling fan and I Don’t live with my parents!! I find that offensive! Then again I’m not a loser like you…when was the last time you were with a woman…AND DIDN’T HAVE TO PAY HER FOR IT?????

April 2, 2010

Ben:

Pablo Picasso, Peter Blake, Roland Barthes, Henry Jenkins, John Fiske….I could continue this list. If you aren’t smart enough to make the connection, these are all incredibly smart people whom were also massive wrestling fans. In case you weren’t aware, these men also had a big influence in a wide number of cultural circles; the idea of containing professional wrestling in a wrestling ring would be to completely ignore the history of popular culture. It seems you think the internet is just for you to spew your rancid, ill-informed opinions, but I was always taught that good writers need to partake in quality research.

April 2, 2010

Walker:

This article is hilarious! Not only does he not provide any other negative facts about Linda McMahon about her Campaign other than WWE, but the way he describes Pro-Wrestling is just pure comedy gold. It makes me think that this “Fake Journalist” lives in his parents home!

April 3, 2010

Jerry:

I’m sure billionaires make fun of failed sports writers too. Get a real job.

April 3, 2010

Matt:

I love journalist who try to make themselves seem important by blasting pro-wrestling. If Arnold Schwarzenegger can become a governor, I see no reason why somebody who was COO of a billion dollar company can’t run for senate. When will people realize that pro-wrestling is just another form of entertainment, nothing more and nothing less? BTW your are an idiot.

April 4, 2010

Slapt Nuts:

For all you Wrestling fans, try reading this blurb in Scott Steiners voice. It’s way too funny to pass up!

April 4, 2010

chris:

dont hate on other peoples success because you will never achieve what they have

April 4, 2010

Rich:

Another journalist wanna-be who sees an easy target in wrestling. I guess you missed the Ronald Reagan president thing, wasn’t he an actor before getting elected to the White House? And how about Arnold? And then there’s Jesse Ventura, who, before his wrestling days, was a member of an elite military group called the Navy Seals. Oh, yeah—he was also a mayor of a Twin Cities suburb, before becoming Governor of Mn. Do you really research your topics, or does it come from all those intellectual conversations with your beer buddies? Why wouldn’t Linda be a good elected official? She sure couldn’t do any worse than what we have now.

April 4, 2010

Sid Eudy's Pet Squirrel:

Has no one else considered the possibility that the tone of this article might have some correlation to the date on which it was published?

April 8, 2010

Mark Chalifoux:

So I guess there was a computer at your weekly Smackdown party?

April 11, 2010

Murph...:

Wow Mark….you definitely hit a nerve there buddy…Look at it this way….its gotta be the most responses you’ve had to an article in a while…..lol;;;
BTW….I’m a wrestling fan also, but can understand your point that electing Linda Mc…would be ….like ….America electing a black president with a good old fashioned name like Barackhk…..oh wait…..we did that…..hmmmm…spooky..

April 12, 2010

Mark Chalifoux:

The point of this was not to piss off wrestling fans. And the piece is not really all that insulting to wrestling fans. I just don’t think Linda McMahon would be an appropriate fit for politics.

I grew up on pro wrestling and met Mick Foley at a UFC show a few years back and he couldn’t have been nicer. I have no problem with wrestling.

April 12, 2010

Greg Ragand:

Mark,

Thanks for the response here AND on Shootfinish.com - I have to admit I doubted you’d do so - and you did.

Now, it’s true you didn’t specify that wrestling fans lived in their basements - however, your opening statement heavily implies that since your friend does so, it’s more widespread than just your friend.

I wanted to go on record with my rebuttal that Mrs McMahon, like many Business people before her, would make a far better Senator than a large amount of the “Career Politicians” the Country gets stuck with. Her goal isn’t to get forever re-elected in order to make money off PACs and other special interest groups.

The fact that she’s already “rich” means that she knows how to get things done in a way that made her money on a personal level. They also assisted quite a few of her potential Constituents in staying gainfully employed - not to mention pumping literally millions of dollars into the Connecticut economy. Those skills, when applied to running a Government, would be a welcome change to “business as usual” Politicians whose goal seems more about staying in office than helping the US.

May 6, 2010

Spot. the Hardcore Magician:

Did i really just waste my time reading this….sir….please inform yourself on a subject before writing about it, lest you come off looking like bobo the sports reporter. I must say, the comments on this article must be giving you some idea of how you sound. Please do us a favor, stick to watching access Hollywood, and leave the writing to anyone else.

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