Why Does World Cup End Badly For Women?

What is it with soccer that makes people want to hit women? In the last Sports Gospel, I detailed England's problem of beating women after World Cup losses. Then, after team USA's epic win over Algeria, an Algerian player slapped an Algerian lady journalist.

It caused a media brouhaha in the states, and by brouhaha, I mean that several blogs posted notes about it and it may have made it into a newspaper or two. Not for any real outrage, but more from a mocking point of view, like "hey, look at how poorly they handle that loss we gave them, aren't they jokers?"

At least on the English front, the Brits haven't lost yet. If you see an English woman with a messed out face, rest assured that it's only the result of inbreeding and not due to sports-related spousal abuse. Case closed.

But for Algerian ladies, what can they do to avoid such humiliating acts in the future? One, get out of Algeria. Two, don't report facts.

That's all it took for Asma Halimi (don't even try, you can't find anything on a Google image search) to get slapped by Algerian striker Rafik Saifi. Her was still upset over a story she wrote a year ago because it involved a quote from another interview he did that he didn't want many people to know about.

Right now, a lot of people wearing University of Kentucky sweatshirts are knodding their heads. "Yep, the bitch did sumtim she waddn't supposda do, and that's how you learn 'em."

But most civilized people realize how egregious this whole episode is. They also respect me for using a word like egregious.

Apparently, Halimi didn't even say anything, which makes this even more ridiculous. It's not like he got caught up in the heat of the moment after the she-reporter asked a tough question, he just went up to her and slapped her.

What I want to know is how long he has been sitting on this plan. It's clear his ax to grind is a year old, so he had to come to South Africa with some sort of gameplan to exact his revenge.

I have a hard time believing he was just wandering around the media area, thinking, "I feel like I'm forgetting something ... hmm ... oh yeah, there's that reporter I hate. I was gonna smack her. Hold on, brain, let me take care of this."

Maybe he was waiting until his team was officially eliminated so he couldn't get disqualified by FIFA from further games. If this is the case, what went through Rafiki's head after the U.S. scored?

"Welp, that settles it ... that lady is definitely getting slapped today."

What makes this story even better is that Halimi slapped him right back and bloodied his lip. Not only did he act like a bitch by slapping a woman (West Virginia is laughing at you, Rafiki ... a slap? Where's your right cross?), but then he got beat even worse.

Not only is he a loser on the pitch, he can't even win a slapping contest with a lady. In fairness to Rafiki (whose real name is close enough to the "Lion King" character that I'm going to keep calling him Rafiki, because a soccer-playing baboon is a funnier image than some foreign doofus), they probably should've gone best two out of three, but they were playing best slap wins, and Rafiki slaps with all the impotence of an Algerian soccer player (see what I did there?).

And my favorite part of this is that he's 35-years-old. This is his last World Cup. His legacy as a professional athlete will be defined as the dude that slapped a journalist. His legacy is being the biggest bitch on a team of losers.

I don't care if he played in a hundred charity games to raise the money to build 10 children's hospitals with his own bare hands or if he uses his car to drive old ladies to church, everyone will remember this guy as the douchebag that started a slapfight with a female journalist.

Even in terms of journalist slapping showdowns, he still doesn't win the honor for most memorable slap. If you don't believe me, Google "wrestler slaps reporter."

Thank goodness the World Cup is over in a few weeks. If this thing stretched until August, we'd probably have to deal with headlines like "Soccer player celebrates goal by lighting women on fire" or "Disgraced soccer ref gives ex-girlfriend red-card from life."

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