Friday, August 16, 2013

Yankee Candle + NCAA = Heaven Scent

By Jeffrey Boswell

* Miami Hurricanes — "Eau Da U" is a mix of sunshine, ocean spray, and gunshot residue that's surprisingly pleasant. It smells so good, it's criminal.

* Ohio State BuckeyesThe Ohio State University's candle boasts an aroma that mixes the mysterious smell of a tattoo parlor with just a hint of compliance. Light this candle, and you're sure to get a response from the noses of friend, and the NCAA will probably come sniffing around, too.

* Texas A&M Aggie — "Aggie Pride" is modeled after football hero Johnny Manziel. Much like Manziel, the A&M candle smells of pigskin and ink. Indeed, it's a "signature" scent.

* UCLA Bruins — Basketball school? Not anymore. UCLA is the home of the 2013 College World Series champions. With a nod to Spinal Tap, Yankee Candle presents "Smell the Glove," leathery goodness tinged with a whiff of well-aged hardwood.

* South Carolina Gamecocks — If Steve Spurrier had his way, USC's candle would be called "Dad Gummit!" and smell like an SEC title trophy. Unfortunately, Spurrier doesn't know candles. A true Gamecock candle smells, and tastes, like chicken: Yankee Candle gives you Pollo By Ralph Lauren.

* North Carolina Tar Heels — You can't say "UNC" without first mentioning Michael Jordan. Throw some wax and a wick into the mix and out comes a candle called "Air Jordan," which emits an aura reminiscent of cigar smoke, a freshly-cut putting green, and infidelity.

* Kentucky Wildcats — The Wildcats candle, which smells of Kentucky bluegrass and weed, is unique in that it's a disposable scented candle. Hence the official name "One and Done." Unofficially, it's called "Fresh, Man!" Basketball coach John Calipari loves the candles, and tries to have at least five of them at all times.

* Louisville Cardinals — What do you get when you cross the smell of an empty restaurant with the scent of raging, middle-aged pheromones? You get "Cardinal Scent," an aroma which is best taken advantage of while on a table.

* Indiana Hoosiers — Although Bobby Knight has been gone for years, his influence, and his stench, remains. As a candle, it's called "Incense-d," consisting of a gentle mix of unbridled rage and a red, polyester sweater.

* USC Trojans — At a school with a football team coached by Lane Kiffin, one would expect a candle with a scent similar to that of smoldering wreckage steaming in a body of water. In Kiffin's honor, Yankee Candle presents "Burning Bridges."

* Oregon Ducks — What does Yankee Candle's Oregon scent smell like? Anything Phil Knight wants it to. The "Money to Burn" candle, no matter how many times you light, always gives off that "new" smell.

* Alabama Crimson Tide — With two consecutive national titles, and possibly more to come, it's no wonder Alabama's candle is named "Nausea." It smells so good, it makes you sick.

* Duke Blue Devils — Athletics at Duke is all about Mike Krzyzewski, so why wouldn't the candle scent? Therefore, it's "Eau K." It smells like napalm in the morning, and also serves as a repellant, warding off anyone or anything not associated with Duke.

* Notre Dame Fighting Irish — To some people, or maybe just one person, the Fighting Irish's candle smells like, as you would imagine, a Stanford girl. To everyone else, "(H)eau(x)" smells like a grass-stained Catholic boy.

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