Friday, February 28, 2014
Foul Territory: God Made Me Do It
* That's Why He Plays the "Point," or No One Got Shot, But Somebody Might Get "Cut," or She Took Him to the "Hole" — New York Knicks guard Raymond Felton was arrested Tuesday on three counts of criminal possession of a weapon. Felton allegedly threatened his wife with a gun. Felton was formally charged on Tuesday, when the Manhattan district attorney made it "arraign."
* Cage Match, or in Jail Speak, This is What's Called Becoming "Engaged," or it Was an "Isolated" Incident — Former NFL star Aaron Hernandez was involved in an altercation with another inmate in jail in Dartmouth, Massachusetts on Tuesday. For his role in the incident, Hernandez was placed in isolation in a small cell, where he'll be covered closely by four "corners."
* Combine-nation Bank, or He's Looking Out For No. One (But Himself) — Jadeveon Clowney impressed scouts with a 4.53 40-yard dash on Monday at the NFL scouting combine. Clowney said he could go faster, but only if there are 40 yards between his first paycheck and the bank.
* Shock and 0, or Wicked Wich. of the Midwest — Wichita State became the first team in history to post a 30-0 start in the regular season with a 69-49 win over Bradley on Tuesday night. The Shockers are likely to be a No. 1 seed in the NCAA tournament, which is bad news for everyone, except No. 16 seeds.
* Judgment Call, or Adam and Leave, or Miss-iah, or The Devil Didn't Make Him Do It — Former San Diego State running back Adam Muema said he left the NFL scouting combine on Sunday because God told him to. Muema's next chance to work out for NFL teams is at SDSU's Pro Day next month. Muema plans to prepare for that with mountain climbing and ark-building workouts.
* From Russia With Shame, Empty Nyet Syndrome, Or Russian Nightmare — Alexander Ovechkin apologized for Russia's Olympic hockey performance, in which the host team failed to medal. Russian president Vladimir Putin accepted the apology, but suggested Ovechkin speak no more on the subject, citing the "gulag" reflex.
* There Can Be Only One — Floyd Mayweather will face Argentina's Marcos Maidana on May 3rd in a welterweight unification bout. The bout will either take place at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas or the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, and Mayweather has already started taunting Maidana with threats of "domestic" battery.