Thursday, May 1, 2014
Foul Territory: Shop Lifters, Black Listers
* Long Arm of the Claw, or Publix Enemy, or Been Caught Stealing — Jameis Winston was charged Tuesday with shoplifting crab legs from a Publix supermarket in Tallahassee. He'll be fined $30, required to do community service, and will be suspended from the baseball team. It's the second instance in which Winston has been accused of improperly acquiring leg.
* Black Listed, or Clip', Clip', Clip' of the Lip, or Bye-ing Power — The NBA banned Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling for life and fined him $2.5 million for racist comments he made in a phone recording. NBA commissioner Adam Silver put it plainly when he said, "Don't bring him to my games."
* Seattle Slew, This Safety is Anything But Free — Seattle's Earl Thomas signed a four-year, $40 million extension with the Seahawks on Monday, making him the NFL's first $10 million-a-year safety. Thomas quipped that he money should "cover" him for life.
* Inc. Floyd, or Hoop Dreams, or Donald Sterling Took a Dive, Mayweather's Taking the Plunge — Floyd Mayweather said he wants to buy the Los Angles Clippers, just hours after Clippers owner Donald Sterling was banned for life and fined $2.5 million. Mayweather may have to fight Oprah Winfrey for the privilege, which would require a considerable step up in weight class.
* Chime of the Current Mariner, or Boo-Ya — Yankees fans showered former slugger Robinson Cano with boos when he made his first appearance at Yankee Stadium as a Seattle Mariner. Replied the Seattle second baseman, "They can make it shower, but $240 million can make it rain."
* Claret Jug-head — Donald Trump plans to buy Turnberry, the Scottish links course that has hosted the British Open four times. Trump said he has no plans to build a casino nearby, but that hasn't stopped the locals from yelling "crap's!"
* Fine, and Dandy, or Boys, Have a Tête-à-Tête — NASCAR fined Marcos Ambrose $25,000 and Casey Mears $15,000 for their post-race skirmish Saturday night at Richmond. Ambrose drives for Richard Petty Motorsports, under the acronym "RPM," while Mears, apparently, drives for "SNM," because he paid good money to get smacked.