Foul Territory: “The Revision,” Cleveland “Brown”
July 18, 2014 by Jeffrey Boswell • Print Story •
* There's Gonna Be Cleveland Brown All Over That Field — The Cleveland Browns will have a live dog mascot this season, a bullmastiff named "Swagger." It's just another reason for Browns fans to say, "That son of a b$%*h!"
* I Quit This Pitch — Luiz Felipe Scolari resigned as manager of Brazil after the World Cup host country's epic failures in the tournament. Scolari said he was fortunate enough to resign with his health intact. Brazilian fans agreed, saying he was "lucky to be alive."
* Don't Sigh For Me, Argentina, or Deutsch Lovin', or if the World Cup Was a Race, the Germans "Mastered" It — Germany won the World Cup, besting Argentina 1-0 on Mario Gotze's goal in the 113th minute. Argentina's Lionel Messi won the Golden Ball trophy as player of the tournament. Messi added the award to his vast collection, but his trophy cabinet remains empty, nonetheless.
* Hook 'Im, Horns, or He Had a Contract on His Head — Texas was prepared to offer Alabama coach Nick Saban a contract worth $100 million to coach the Longhorns, Paul Finebaum of the SEC Network writes in his new book. It's further proof that since 2005, the Longhorns can't "buy" a championship.
* Down Goes Frazier! Down Goes Frazier! — Oakland's Yoenis Cespedes won the Major League Baseball Home Run Derby on Monday, becoming the first repeat winner in 15 years. Cespedes beat Cincinnati's Todd Frazier 9-1 in the final round to win. Cespedes was grateful for the win, and thankful that Adam Wainwright is not the only pitcher who can "groove" and "pipe" pitches.
"The Revision," or *King James Rendition, or Much Like the Heat, Dwyane Wade's Going Nowhere — Dwyane Wade returned to the Miami Heat, signing a two-year deal on Tuesday. The deal is for $31.1 million, a significant pay cut from the deal he opted out of. It's yet another example of Wade putting his team before himself. If only his parents would have know to put the "a" before the "y" in "Dwayne" when they named him.