Friday, March 6, 2015

NBA Week in Review

By Jeffrey Boswell

* The King's Castle is Made of Bricks — LeBron James missed two free throws with the Cavaliers down by 1 in overtime in Cleveland's 105-103 loss on Sunday. James was 3-for-11 from the line in the game. James found a positive in the free throws — 3-of-11 can loosely be considered a "triple-double."

* Crotch Rocket, or This Rocket Bypassed Uranus and Went Straight to Hispenis, or James on James' Crime — James Harden was suspended for one game for kicking LeBron James in the groin in Sunday's Houston win. Harden didn't appeal the decision, citing lacks of balls.

* Mile "Bye" City, or Brian's (Swan) Song — The Denver Nuggets fired head coach Brian Shaw on Tuesday and named assistant coach Melvin Hunt interim head coach. The Nuggets were 20-39 under Shaw this season and had lost six in a row. The Nuggets plan is to begin the head coach search at season's end. God's plan is to let DeMarcus Cousins handle the search.

* "B" Like Mike, or 'Aire Jordan — Michael Jordan was on Forbes' 29th Annual World Billionaires List, with a net worth of $1 billion. To put that amount of money in perspective, Jordan is one missed putt on the golf course from losing it all.

* Face Guard — Russell Westbrook, wearing a protective mask due to a facial fracture, scored 49 points, grabbed 16 rebounds, and dished 10 assists in the Thunders 123-118 win over the 76ers on Wednesday. On a related hidden-identity note, the Thunder are still "masquerading" as NBA Finals contenders.

* Long Range Planning, or Unusually, He's Not Anxious to Pull the Trigger — Ray Allen said he will sit out the current season and plans to reassess his plans for the 2015-16 season. In reverence to his longtime boss, LeBron James, Allen will call his choice "A Decision."

* He's "Posterized" So Many, It's Only Fair That He Gets "Statutized," or For the First Time, Dominique is Stuck to the Floor — The Atlanta Hawks unveiled a 13½ foot statue of franchise legend Dominique Wilkins at Phillips Arena. Not a single person objected to honoring Wilkins with a bust, so it was a "slam dunk."

* This Week's NBA Finals Prediction — This is based on Jeffrey Boswell's NBA's "S.W.I.S.H." rankings (Statistical Weighted Index Summation Hierarchy), which takes into account biorhythms and statistical astrology to predict the Finals (based on data year-to-date and predicted future performance).

Golden State over Atlanta in 5.

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