Foul Territory: NCAA Tournament

What will it take for Duke to capture the Midwest region?

Three things: 1) Marvin Bagley averaging 24 points and 12 rebounds per game; 2) Just a little, teensy-weensy bit of defense from the Blue Devils; 3) Grayson Allen to play basketball and stop playing the "Hokey Pokey." Anytime he sticks a body part out, it's not good for the Devils.

What would you call a team of five Grayson Allen's?

"Dick Vitale?" No. "Dickie V?" No. "Five dicks?" Yes!

What is a "Quadrant 1" win?

I don't know. But I do know that if there is a Quadrant 1, there must be three other quadrants. I'm sure you've heard of the "Four Quadrants?" I hear it was a big deal at the University of North Carolina at one time.

Is that similar to a "sextant?"

A "sextant" is something that only takes place at Louisville, and occurs when they successfully nab a recruit with the help of a prostitute.

Can North Carolina repeat as national champion?

Chances are slim, or, for a Roy Williams-coached team, "faint."

But seriously, if the Heels have one thing going for them, it's experience. Joel Berry, Theo Pinson, and Luke Maye have been to the last two championship games. Experience goes a long way. If experience can hit 40% of its three-pointers, the Heels just might have a chance.

What would a Cincinnati/Virginia East Region final look like?

Low scoring. Low shooting percentages. Low ratings.

Can Arizona go all the way?

Let me put it this way: you couldn't pay me to pick Arizona to win it all.

And speaking of Arizona, did the committee go tough on the Wildcats because they're under FBI investigation for corruption?

That's a question best asked of Jim Mora, Sr. And yes, Jim, we're asking you about payoffs.

"Payoffs!?"

Yes. Payoffs.

"Payoffs!?"

Seriously, though, I think the selection committee followed the example of the FBI. And, if recent history has shown us anything, it's that the FBI doesn't play favorites.

How is a team's "body of work" measured?

Usually, by a drug-sniffing dog. If it's an impressive body of work, the dog alerts by going "BOW WOW!"

Did Oklahoma deserve to make the tournament?

"Beep. Beep. Beep." That's the sound of the Sooner Schooner backing its way into the tournament.

That being said, can the Sooners make any noise in the Midwest Region?

My definition of "making noise" is advancing to the Sweet 16. To do that, Oklahoma would have to beat No. 7-seeded Rhode Island and No. 2 seed Duke. The Sooners Trae Young would have to get very hot for that to happen. He's been cold as of late, but don't underestimate the streaky Young. He can play his team into the Sweet 16 just as easily as he can play himself out of the NBA's lottery.

Sooners fall to Rhode Island.

What double-digit seed (excluding No. 10 seeds) is likely to reach the Round of 32?

Give me No. 11-seeded St. Bonaventure over the No. 6-seeded Florida Gators.

Backup plan: No. 12 New Mexico State over No. 5 Clemson.

If you base your tourney picks solely on mascot appeal, which team would win?

Well, it would be a championship final pitting the Wichita State Shockers against the South Dakota State Jackrabbits. And SDSU would win in a blowout, because as everyone knows, the Jackrabbit never fails.

Final Four picks?

Virginia, Gonzaga, Purdue, Michigan State

Championship

Virginia over Michigan State

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