Being that he couldn't tell you the difference between a double and a double-play, I had to use terms he could relate to. I was actually communicating it all in a very understandable manner -- until I got to the Twins owner Carl Pohlad.

I quickly racked my brain to come up with a character who would fully embody all of Pohlad's characteristics. I said the first evil villain that came to mind.

C. Montgomery Burns. Otherwise known as Mr. Burns, from the Simpsons.

Think about it for a moment. Who else could represent everything Pohlad stands for? Mr. Burns is an old, bald, filthy-rich business tycoon who seems to take pleasure in other people's misery. He lives in a cavernous mansion by himself and would probably sell his mother if it meant he could make $2 on the deal.

Except for maybe the cavernous mansion, if that doesn't describe Pohlad, I don't know what does. The man is 82-years-old and worth an estimated $1.8 billion. Are you serious, Clark? Does that kind of money even exist? If he went to his bank tomorrow and asked to withdraw his money, could they cut him a $1.8 billion check? I'm not sure what the other baseball owners are worth, but it's a safe bet Pohlad is one of the richest in professional sports.

He's worth that much money at that age, and he refuses to invest another penny into a team that has finally started winning. In fact, he threatened the worst fate a team can receive (short of signing Jose Canseco) -- he allowed Bud Selig to contract his Twins.

Simpsons' viewers know that Mr. Burns is not above selling his company to make a buck. Early in the show's history, Burns sold his nuclear power plant to a group of German businessmen in order to rake in the profits from his stocks. He gave no thought to his employees or their families; he just wanted to make sure his pockets would be lined with just a little more gold.

Last offseason, Pohlad, crying that he had lost too much money, voted to have his team contracted out of baseball. So, after purchasing the team in 1984 for $36 million, he agreed to sell it back to baseball for an estimated $250 million. Not a bad profit, except that by selling it back he would be allowing a franchise that has existed since 1901 to go on the chopping block. Maybe Pohlad was just tired of seeing that $1.8 billion label and wanted it bumped up to $2 billion. Or maybe he's just an evil old man.

What else do baseball fans in Minnesota have to endure? They watched their team win two world championships in five years, then watched the team fall off the face of the baseball map. They went from World Series winners to a bunch of nobodies, almost overnight. They experienced the strike, just like the rest of us. Then they saw their franchise player, Kirby Puckett, have his career cut short with glaucoma. Next, they sat back as Pohlad tried to move the team to North Carolina, only to have the deal fall through at the very last moment.

Finally, just as they start to show promise as a winning team again, they have contraction hang over their head for a number of months. And Pohlad has the nerve to complain about attendance. I guess not everything is directly his fault, but he could be blamed for most of it.

In some ways, Pohlad could be worse than Burns. At the Springfield Power Plant, the employees range from incompetent to downright idiotic and dangerous. If the heartless Burns cared at all about his community, he'd shut down the plant immediately. But Pohlad is in a different situation. His employees are not incompetent. In fact, his employees have his team sitting at the top of their division with a very comfortable lead.

With almost no help from their money-grubbing owner, the Twins have gone from a group of young kids who couldn't walk to first base without holding their coach's hand to one of the hottest teams in baseball. Terry Ryan, the general manager, has done everything right in building a small-market franchise.

Through the strict tutelage of manager Tom Kelly, these young players learned that if they wanted to play, they had to be perfect. Perfect at the plate, perfect on the mound, perfect in the field, perfect on the base paths. Kelly knew he didn't have great-developed talent to work with, but he also knew that if they did the fundamentals correctly, he could turn them into a winning team.

He made them into playoff contenders. New manager Ron Gardenhire has turned them into the team to beat in the AL Central.

But even with his team doing everything they can to get into the playoffs in October, reports are that Carl Pohlad is still refusing to take on any payroll. That means there will be no big trades for the Twins in July. They can't go get that one big name player that can put them over the top.

In fact, Pohlad has instructed Ryan to cut payroll. With Torii Hunter, Jacque Jones, and Doug Mientkiewicz, three of the Twins' brightest young stars, all up for arbitration this winter, Pohlad has already made it known that he will not be signing these men to the long-term, rich contracts they can find elsewhere.

In essence, Pohlad is taking this opportunity to turn a promising young team into a dominant franchise and turning his back on it. I wonder if he even watches baseball or if this was just another way for him to make some money.

Fortunately for the Twins and their fans, contraction is no longer in the picture, at least for a few years. They do have a good team and they are looking at a good chance to make the playoffs. The bad news is that at the end of the season, there is no guarantee that this team will remain the same.

You see, Mr. Burns might be an evil, heartless, billionaire with no love for his community, but he's just a fictional character. Carl Pohlad is as real as can be.

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