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May I have your attention, please?
May I have your attention, please?
Will the real Carl Everett please stand-up?
I repeat, will the real Carl Everett please stand-up?
We're not gonna have a problem here...

The real Carl Everett is having an explosive start to the 2003 season, getting his once-promising career back on track. In Texas' first 31 games, Everett has 28 runs, 11 homeruns, 29 runs batted-in, and a .324 batting average.

Carl Everett is a player pitchers rarely want to see step into the batters' box with the game on the line. As a member of the Houston Astros in 1999, Carl hit a career-high .325 average with 25 homeruns, 108 runs batted-in, and 27 steals in 123 games. Traded to Boston after the season, Carl had a superb year in his first season with the Red Sox, with 34 homeruns, 108 runs batted-in, and a .300 average.

But what happened? Where did Carl Everett go? The first-round draft choice of the New York Yankees, one-time all-star, and emerging superstar plummeted like the stock market on October 19, 1987. His big $9 million contract was now a burden and questions were abound. Is he a contract player? A headcase? A health risk? Or did pitchers just figure him out?

Is it a coincidence that Carl Everett will be a free agent at the end of this season? Yes, it is. Everett enjoyed his breakout season in 1999 with the Houston Astros and was in the final year of his contract. But it wasn't because he could smell the money. Everett was a first-round pick, he had potential, and he finally put it all together. He put together a very solid first-half season in 2000 with Boston and unfortunately slowed down to a trickle by season's end. Many think pitchers just figured him out, but it was more of a story about a switch-hitter who really can't switch-hit.

Carl Everett is a switch-hitter, well, not really. Everett stinks like tuna gone bad from the right-side of the plate. His career numbers are a nasty .252 average from the right and a solid .287 average from the left. In the past two seasons, he has hit a combined .206 average from the right-side. Something to have nightmares about, but a something that could be fixed.

This year, the Rangers are selectively playing Everett against lefty pitchers. He's not playing against the top lefties in the league -- already sitting against David Wells, Barry Zito twice, and Jarrod Washburn. Instead of going 0-for-20, he sits, giving his overall average a nice spike, or less of a drop. It all depends if you are a half-empty or half-full person. This also gives him the opportunity to rest his body, as this could be the biggest factor on why his recent seasons were more dreadful than Eddie Murphy's last three movies combined ("Pluto Nash," "I Spy," and "Daddy Day Care," did anyone even see them?).

There were rumors about Carl Everett's attitude, that he was a problem in the clubhouse and that it was effecting his play. Those rumors could never be proved true or false. The only factual truth was that Carl Everett was having physical problems. For the whole 2001 season, Everett played hurt. He was toughing it out, day-by-day, dealing with the pain.

In December 2001, Everett had surgery to remove damaged cartilage from his right knee. However, the road to recovery proved to be troublesome. Carl Everett was back for the 2002 season, but he had not fully-recovered. He had recurring pain in his leg, which landed him on the disabled list twice throughout the season. But now it seems Everett is healthy. And a healthy Everett is a productive Everett.

Carl Everett is now in a perfect Texas situation. He bats in a protected order with Rafael Palmeiro, Alex Rodriguez, Juan Gonzalez, and the emerging Hank Blalock. This assures that pitchers will have to pitch to him. When a star lefty has a start, it gives Everett a chance to rest his body and it gives an opportunity for Texas to get young stud Mark Teixeira a chance to play. Things couldn't be better for Carl Everett in 2003. So, everyone repeat after me...

I'm Carl Everett, yes, I'm the real Everett
That other Carl Everett was just irritated
Because the real Carl Everett's not banged up,
won't switch-up, all lined-up.

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