Print   Recommend

Two things are apparent: first, that the Nets, by keeping Jason Kidd and adding Alonzo Mourning to their ranks, seem set to conquer the Eastern Conference for a third-straight season. Second, that the Laker front office has, with a series of shock-and-awe-inspiring moves, positioned the purple-and-gold to blitzkrieg the rest of the league and win another title next year.

It's easy to dismiss the news from Jersey: 'Zo or no 'Zo, the Nets have little chance of playing with the top-four teams in the West. But can the Lakers be so easily brushed aside? Probably not. If fan opinion offers any indication, L.A.'s preemptive, preseason strikes have already obliterated every possible obstacle in the Lake Show's path to glory.

Consider ESPN.com's SportsNation poll on the subject. 63.4% of its nearly 120,000 voters believe that the new-look Lakers will "steamroll to 70 wins and the championship." L.A.-based surveys have produced even gaudier numbers: 79.3% of last week's participants on the Los Angeles Times website, for example, concluded that "signing Karl Malone and Gary Payton means another title for the Lakers."

And when the Times message boards weren't caught up in bizarre sexual comparisons between Kobe Bryant and Bill Clinton, or in questioning the manhood of certain franchises in San Antonio and Sacramento ("announcing two new WNBA teams for the 2004/2005 season -- the Spurs and Queens!"), its contributors were gleefully anticipating "another year of Laker highlights," and basking in the smug belief that "the Lakers are going to lay waste to the rest of the NBA." One alarmingly optimistic Orange County blogger even declared that "this is going to be the best basketball season LA has ever experienced -- I can't wait!"

There seems little doubt that the presence of four probable Hall-of-Famers won't lead the Lakers to a successful season, or that their combined exploits won't restore some much-needed excitement to the league at large. But "the best basketball season L.A. has ever experienced?"

I, at least, am unconvinced. Even with Shaq getting himself in shape; even with Payton and Malone promising to strive on D and share the ball, there should be plenty for Laker fans to worry about this summer. Here, for starters, are three vexing questions to keep in mind:

1. How do you root for this team?

Mitch Kupchak might have performed a minor miracle, convincing Payton and Malone to join Shaq and Kobe in L.A. for a mere $6.4 million. But in so doing, he managed to turn a relatively likeable band of overachievers into -- presto change-o! -- a group of grouchy, heavily-favored Goliaths. As a result, the Lakers are suddenly stuck in one hell of a Catch-22.

They're damned if they do win (given the expectations that Kupchak's moves have generated, a perfect 98-0 season would look like nothing more than par for the course), and they're certainly damned if they don't: an early playoff exit (especially at the hands of, say, the Kings) would lead to no end of gloating from Laker-haters across the globe.

So I ask again, how do you root for this team? Where's the fun in it? They aren't a squad you can identify with; they aren't a squad that you can will to overcome. Unless you're an insufferable frontrunner, all you can really do is hope that they won't lose, and that they won't somehow set a new standard for athletic disappointment.

I, for one, am already nostalgic for the days of Robert Horry and Mark Madsen battling against the Duncans, Wallaces, and Webbers of the world -- at least with those guys, or with other talent-victims like Samaki Walker and A.C. Green playing power forward, the Lakers had a perpetual underdog quality about them, a discernible weakness they had to surmount. But now, everything's changed. They're stronger in almost every area than almost every team they'll be facing, and they're starting to look like Ivan Drago, or South Bend Central, or the Borg. Nobody roots for the Borg. Do Laker fans really want to start now?

2. Is Kobe on his way out?

Forget for a moment his troubles with the law, and think back to 2001, when the league rumbled with reports that Kobe Bryant wanted out of Los Angeles. Rumors like these were quickly rejected -- there was simply no way, experts reasoned, that Kobe would rather light up scoreboards in Memphis than win (and share his shots) with Shaq. Besides, the argument goes, the two have learned to co-exist, and they've got the rings to show for it. Right?

Right. But the facts remain: Kobe loves his points, Kobe loves a challenge, and, unfortunately, neither is likely to come his way on this year's L.A. Dream Team. It would even be possible to argue that Kobe has only stayed the course till now because of a certain twofold trend in recent Laker history: namely, his own growing prestige, combined with Shaq's declining dominance. So long as this trend continued, Kobe could at least look forward to a future when the Lakers were his team, and the title was finally his to win or lose.

Now, though, with the arrival of Payton and Malone, that trend has been arrested, and (Eagle County jokes aside) it's been arrested at precisely the time when Kobe can choose to create that challenge elsewhere, by opting out of his Laker contract and joining a team on the verge of contention.

It's easy, I suppose, to argue out of this one, too -- to insist, for instance, that Payton and Malone won't be around long enough to make a difference, or that Kobe's contract comments are merely part of some sinister plan to push for a greater payoff. Nevertheless, Bryant is approaching the prime of his career, and maybe -- just maybe -- he's thinking something along the lines of, "I prove myself now, or I prove myself never." In any case, he seems more likely to leave L.A. with the Glove and the Mailman around ... and from this perspective, July 16, 2003 could be a darker day in Laker history than any since Magic announced his first retirement.

3. What are the Spurs going to do with their $12 million?

Fans in L.A. ought to be disappointed that Jason Kidd rejected San Antonio. Sure, this sounds counter-intuitive at first, but think of the hilarity that would have ensued: i.e., Kidd dribbles up the floor, passes to T.D. in the post, and then -- awaiting the Duncan double-team -- spots up outside for a jumper. The inevitable result: CLANG! Kidd simply wasn't a good fit for the Duncan-focused Spurs, and his decision to re-up with the Nets leaves GM R.C. Buford poised to do much more for his ballclub's future.

It's true that his offseason has been a bit of a bust so far: signing Euro stiff Rasho Nesterovic to replace the retired Admiral is hardly enough to strike fear into Laker hearts. But the Rasho-for-Robinson deal aside, the Spurs are still the same team that whipped L.A. last May -- and come next year, they'll have lots more cash to mess around with.

The question is: what will they do with it all? Will they try to use it, as some are projecting, to sign Elton Brand once he's free of the Clippers? Will they (gulp) find a way to lure K.G. to Texas? Or, in the most nightmarish scenario imaginable, will they make a play for Kobe, giving him the chance to beat the Lakers in the playoffs, allowing him to prove his worth to those who doubt it, and driving a stake into Laker hearts besides? If so, an aging, capped-out Laker franchise could be looking up at a Western Conference opponent stacked with superstars under 30 ... and a daunting foe for years to come.

All you smug young Laker fans out there are probably thinking that everything I've written here is stupid. Maybe you're right -- maybe your fearsome foursome will learn to play together so beautifully that no one will care how heavily favored they are. Maybe Kobe will get tossed into jail (I am writing this on the 15th, before D.A. Mark Hurlbert has decided whether he'll press charges), causing his market value to bottom out, and leaving him a Laker for life. Maybe the Spurs will burn all their cash resigning Manu Ginobili, and will have to use whatever's left to settle for another stiff, like Shawn Kemp, or Scot Pollard.

Yes, maybe you're right. In fact, I hope you're right: as a lifelong Laker fan myself, I want nothing less than "the best basketball season L.A. has ever experienced." Until that actually happens, though, I'm going to keep worrying -- and I'm also going to keep this column on file, to use as a big "I told you so" in case it all goes sour.

Have something to say? Visit the message boards and discuss this article. Comments? Agree? Disagree? Send in your feedback about this article.