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You know all about Toronto's youth movement and the Indian's new first- baseman and you're never afraid to declare the Chicago White Sox as the surprise team to beat.

But now you're running out of ideas. Your friends are talking about the new Braves pitching staff and whether or not Kerry Wood will ever truly live up to his potential. You don't know what to say. You want to contribute, but you don't have your cheat sheet and you don't want to sound like an idiot.

Welcome to the MLB Cheat Sheet (Part II). Also, known as the 2003 MLB Guide For Dummies.

After the overwhelming response from your e-mails last week, I've braced myself for the barrage of responses now that the Cheat Sheet is to be completed.

Actually, it was just one e- mail and I think it was meant for Sam Amico. And while we're on the topic, how the heck does Amico get so many e-mails that are so well thought out and coherent? And where is his hate mail? Maybe it's just that my low-brow writing appeals to a more blue-collar audience. I love you guys.

Now, onto the guide.

Arizona Diamondbacks

What to say:

- If Lyle Overbay can do in the majors what he's done in the minors, I'll forget the name (Erubiel) Durazo in a hurry.

- Not only does he have the coolest name in the bigs, but with Luis Gonzales hitting behind him, Junior Spivey is going to have a true breakout season this year.

- How is it possible that Randy Johnson could sign a two-year contract extension worth $32 million and still be underpaid? I don't know, but it's still a bargain.

What not to say:

- Why be worried about Matt Mantei coming back as the closer? He proved he can keep healthy for a full season back in the '90s. Sooner or later, it's bound to happen again.

- Byung-Hyun Kim was scary as a closer, but I'm sure he'll recover nicely as a starter.

- Remember in the '01 playoffs right after Tony Womack had the series-winning hit against the Cardinals when Tim McCarver asked Womack if the woman that hugged him was his mother? And Womack said no, it was his wife ... that was hilarious.

Atlanta Braves

What to say:

- As much as I like Paul Byrd, Mike Hampton, and Russ Ortiz, it won't be the same as Kevin Millwood and Tom Glavine. Is it too late to get Odalis Perez back?

- Is there any chance Robert Fick can go back to catcher? I'd like Javy Lopez a lot better if this was 1997.

- The Phillies and Mets can add all they want, but as long as Greg Maddux is starting and John Smoltz is closing, the Braves are winning the East.

What not to say:

- Vinny Castilla is underrated as a third baseman. I'm really glad we moved Chipper to the outfield.

- I believe Rafael Furcal when he says he's 23.

- Mike Hampton is going to bounce back now that he's out of Denver. It was the high alititude that caused his problems the last two years.

Chicago Cubs

What to say:

- All the talk about the youth of the Cubs and there was never any mention of Mark Bellhorn. After 27 HR last year, if he can put up those numbers again, we finally, finally, have a real third baseman.

- Kerry Wood, Matt Clement, Mark Prior, Carlos Zambrano. I've never seen so many K's among four names in all my life.

- Hee Seop Choi is at the make or break point. He's got a 30 HR, 100 RBI void to fill.

What not to say:

- We'll get 'em next year (at least wait until June before using this).

- Why is Steve Stone coming back as the color commentator, I thought Joe Carter was doing a great job.

- Was Ryne Sandberg injured last year, I didn't hear his name called too often.

Cincinnati Reds

What to say:

- Sean Casey, Aaron Boone, Adam Dunn, Ken Griffey, Jr., Austin Kearns, Brandon Larson. None of them (except Larson) even needs to have a career year. If they can have a good year, this might be the best offense in the National League.

- If Ryan Dempster finds the control he lost on the trip from Florida to the 'Natti, the Reds have a true No. 1 starter in their rotation.

- Just imagine if Danny Graves can do the same thing Derek Lowe did last year.

What not to say:

- I think Danny Graves will be as successful as Derek Lowe was last year.

- It's not the play of Griffey, Jr. that everyone fell in love with, it's his super personality.

- I sure do miss Marge Schott. She got a bad rap.

Colorado Rockies

What to say:

- What will be more interesting, seeing if Jose Hernandez can finally break that strikeout record he's been chasing all of his career, or see if he hits 60 HR in the Colorado air?

- Denny Stark went 8-1 with an ERA around 3.00 at Coors Field last season. Is there any chance he can pitch every Rockies game there this year?

- Larry Walker has consistently been one of the best players in the majors the last few years, but what is he, like 64-years-old now? Sooner or later, he's going to fall apart.

What not to say:

- It's not the altitude, the Rockies hitting coaches are just some of the best in major league history.

- I think if Mike Hampton had just one more season here, he would have found his niche.

- I wish the Rockies would have signed Neifi Perez back. He belongs in Colorado.

Florida Marlins

- The Marlins might be the surprise team in the National League. They added Pudge Rodriguez and Mark Redman. Derrick Lee hit 27 HR and could take off this year. Luis Castillo led the league in steals. Mike Lowell is the best third baseman in the NL East. And A.J. Burnett, Josh Beckett, and Brad Penny could have monster years.

- I expect the Marlins to fall apart in May. Injuries and underachieving are going to do them in.

- If Juan Pierre couldn't hit in Colorado, why should he hit in Florida? I'd like to turn your attention to Dante Bichette, Vinny Castilla, and Neifi Perez.

What not to say:

- It's only a matter of time before the elderly hitch up their pants and get behind the Marlins.

- I'm sure the owner and Marlins administration is more than happy to treat this team better than they did in Montreal.

Houston Astros

What to say:

- This team wins the NL Central. Craig Biggio, Jeff Bagwell, Lance Berkman, Jeff Kent, and Richard Hidalgo lead offensively. Ray Oswalt and Wade Miller turn into a younger version of Curt Schilling and Randy Johnson and carry this team into the playoffs.

- Jeff Kent might have been the biggest pickup of the year. He's still going to have a quality bat in Lance Berkman hitting behind him, so expect another 35+ HR, 100+ RBI season.

- All they need is just one more above-average pitcher. If Shane Reynolds can remember what it felt like to be 30, the Astros could find themselves in the World Series.

What not to say:

- Why did they change the name of the stadium? "Enron" had winning written all over it.

- Is there a chance Billy Wagner could be turned into a starter like Derek Lowe, Danny Graves, and Byung-Hyun Kim?

- It's a good thing we got rid of Randy Johnson four years ago. That back injury really kept him from becoming a superstar.

Los Angeles Dodgers

What to say:

- Fred McGriff is an upgrade over Eric Karros, I don't care if he is eligible for social security next year.

- Kevin Brown and Darren Dreifort might be the two most overpaid, underpaid players in sports history. Not just baseball, but in all of sports.

- If Odalis Perez's season wasn't an aberration last year, they the Dodgers have a true No. 1 starter among them. He will only get better.

What not to say:

- FINALLY, TODD HUNDLEY HAS COME BACK ... TO L.A.!

- Kazuhisha Ishii was worth the hype.

- Dave Roberts? Who the heck is Dave Roberts?

Milwaukee Brewers

What to say:

- Robert Machado, Eric Young, Wes Helms, Royce Clayton, Geoff Jenkins, Jeffery Hammonds. The Brewers are like that guy in your fantasy league who forgot to show up and didn't pre-order his draft correctly.

- Ben Sheets is better than his record last season, but as good as the Brewers need to compete.

- Let's just accept it. The Brewers have no chance this year.

What not to say:

- With the Bud Selig firmly in control, it's only a matter of time before the ship is righted.

- The only bright spot for this team will be Bob Uecker's Hall of Fame induction. (It's true, but it's still not something you want to say around Brewer fans).

- I think it's time the MLB get politically correct and start banning beer during baseball games. (This one might get you killed in Milwaukee).

Montreal Expos

What to say:

- Javier Vazquez, Tony Armas, Orlando and Livan Hernandez. This could be one good pitching staff. It's just too bad they won't have a real home to pitch in.

- Does it even matter who the other seven members of the team are? As long as Jose Vidro gets on base and Vlad Guerrero knocks him home, the Expos are going to get air time.

- Jeff Liefer could turn out to be a big-time hitter. Or a big-time bust.

What not to say:

- I expect Fernando Tatis to break out of his three-year slump any day now.

- Season tickets are so hard to come by in Montreal right now.

- Wait, I thought these guys got contracted. What's going on?

New York Mets

What to say:

- If this isn't the most overpaid, hopeless bunch of baseball players in the big leagues, I don't know anything about baseball.

- Did Roberto Alomar fall off a bus or something? He's hitting like his first name is Sandy and fielding like Hernandez.

- Let's hope Cliff Floyd can be productive now that he can finally unpack his bags and find a place to live for more than three weeks.

What not to say:

- The Mets have no pitching this year. No way they can compete with the Maddux's and the Millwood's.

- I sure hope Mike Piazza keeps doing those 1-800 commercials. He's the best. I espcially like when him and Terry Bradshaw team up.

- Our team should win, but the manager has no idea how to get to the playoffs.

Philadelphia Phillies

What to say:

- Mark it down. The key to this team will be Randy Wolf. If he has a good season, the Phillies could find themselves holding a World Series trophy. If he falls off, they find themselves watching TV in October.

- With Jim Thome and Millwood, the Phillies did the best job of upgrading of any team in the NL. Two guys could put them over the edge.

- If Marlon Byrd lives up to half the hype surrounding him, he should walk away with Rookie of the Year.

What not to say:

- I've got $10 on Omar Visquel if he and Jose Mesa ever throw down.

- Excuse me, I'm looking for a Mitch Williams throw-back jersey. Where can I find one?

Pittsburgh Pirates

What to say:

- The good news is that the Pirates won't be as bad as the Brewers. The bad news is that still puts them in fourth-place in their division.

- Was Jason Kendell riding the same bus as Roberto Alomar?

- Year in, year out, Brian Giles is always one of the top five or six outfielders in the National League. What is he still doing in Pittsburgh?

- The Pirates actually do have a chance with quality pitching and decent offense. But everyone has to have a career year and has that ever happened?

What not to say:

- Lloyd McClendon is a low-key, non-aggressive kind of manager. He'll be perfect for this bunch.

- Pokey Reese is the second baseman of the future.

San Diego Padres

What to say:

- No Phil Nevin. #&@$.

- Ryan Klesko. That's it. That's the only guy anyone around the nation has heard of because of his offense. Wiki Gonzalez doesn't count, people mention him only because it's fun to say his name.

- If Oliver Perez can grow up and mature, he could be one of the few bright spots on this team this season.

What not to say:

- I can't wait to see Tony Gwynn play again.

- We have a shot, as long as Trevor Hoffman can stay healthy to close out those close games, we have a good shot at this thing.

- I can't believe Marty Schottenheimer is letting Junior Seau go. He is going to pay for that one.

San Francisco Giants

What to say:

- Anyone could hit 40 HR hitting in front of Barry Bonds. Screw Kent, he was the problem in the clubhouse last year anyway.

- Dear God, please let Barry stay heathy for the next three or four seasons, thank you.

- If Edgardo Alfonzo can find the New York stroke, we could finally have some protection for Barry.

What not to say:

- Barry is over the hill, he's too old to catch up with the pitches.

- Barry is overrated anyway. He had a major drop-off in homeruns and will only continue to get worse.

- Pretty much, talk about Barry Bonds as much as possible. Even real Giant fans can't tell you much about anyone else.

St. Louis Cardinals

What to say:

- It's time to give up on the J.D. Drew experiment. It was fun while it lasted, but let someone else have the Tin Man. We need someone who isn't going to go on the DL everytime he gets a hangnail.

- I could be mistaken, but aren't Jason Simontacchi and Garrett Stephenson the same person with a different uniform? If you notice, they're never in the same place at the same time.

- Scott Rolen is our new hero. He's happy, he's healthy, and he's leading us to the promise land.

What not to say:

- Mark McGwire made the last out in the bottom of the eighth, so we're leaving early.

- Albert Pujols is overpaid at $900,000 a year.

- I think Tino Martinez can bounce back, so what if he's closing in on 50 years of age.

And there you have it. No longer will you have to keep your mouths shut when discussing the National League.

Go out and share this knowlege with the world.

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