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Old 01-20-2005, 11:28 AM   #121
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Marge: Homer, what are you doing?
Homer: Listen, do you want the job done right, or do you want it done fast?
Marge: Well, like all Americans, fast, but...
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Old 01-20-2005, 01:27 PM   #122
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Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.
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Old 02-06-2005, 06:17 PM   #123
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Lisa: "Ha, only one person in a million would find that funny!"
Professor Frink: "Yes, we call that the 'Dennis Miller Ratio'."
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Old 02-08-2005, 07:11 PM   #124
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Lisa: "Dad! Are you okay?"
Homer: "Yeah, the bone seems to have stopped the bullet."
Lisa: "Dad, I think this may be something you may want to go to the hospital for."
Homer: "After pie."
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Old 02-08-2005, 07:57 PM   #125
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Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.
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Old 02-08-2005, 09:21 PM   #126
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Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

Lisa: No.

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: No!

Homer: Pork chops?

Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!

Homer: Heh heh heh... ooh... yeah... right, Lisa. A wonderful... MAGICAL animal.
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Old 02-08-2005, 09:34 PM   #127
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Quote:
Originally posted by lmanchur.
"Wait wait wait wait wait... Lisa, are you saying you're never going to eat meat again?"
"Yes"
"Not even pork chops?"
"No."
"Ham!?"
"No."
"Bacon!?"
"Dad!! Those all come from the same animal!"
"Ohho, right Lisa... a wooonderful, 'maaagical' animal!"
It took us nine pages and over 100 posts, but we finally got a repeat quote.

Although, it's one of the best and probably deserves repeating.
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Old 03-13-2005, 08:15 PM   #128
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Bart: "Well, my dad is always yelling about whitey keeping him down."
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Can I get an Amen from the bobbleheads?
Hey I said pass the ketchup! I'm eatin' salad here!
Oooh, there is so much I don't know about astrophysics. I wish I had read that book by that wheelchair guy.
You SU-DIDDILY-UCK Flanders!!
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Old 04-28-2005, 06:35 PM   #129
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Ralph: "Hi Lisa! Hi SuperNintendo Chalmers!"
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Can I get an Amen from the bobbleheads?
Hey I said pass the ketchup! I'm eatin' salad here!
Oooh, there is so much I don't know about astrophysics. I wish I had read that book by that wheelchair guy.
You SU-DIDDILY-UCK Flanders!!
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Old 04-28-2005, 06:52 PM   #130
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Nelson: "Papa"
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Old 05-01-2005, 12:05 PM   #131
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Homer is doing his victory dance at the Springfield fair when Moe asks ...

"Hey Homer, you got any fries with that shake?"

Homer then pulls out a package of fries as he's dancing ...
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Old 05-01-2005, 06:58 PM   #132
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Bart, looking under his pillow for a gift from the Tooth Fairy: "What the ... The Tooth Fairy made a donation in my name to the United Way?! That gossamer witch!"
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Old 05-02-2005, 11:24 PM   #133
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The Simpsons are in the process of being cooked by Kang and Kodos ...

Bart, in obvious discomfort (to put it lightly), says ...

"Am I the only one who's in serious pain?"

To which Homer replies ...

"You're the only one who won't shut up about it!"
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Old 05-05-2005, 01:10 PM   #134
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Lisa, in a funk after realizing that Marge cheated in the cooking contest ...

"I guess Dad has to be my hero now."

Bart: "Not if you know what he's been doing." *shudder*
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Old 05-13-2005, 03:26 PM   #135
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Judge: Mr. Hutz w've been in here for four hours. Do you have any evidence at all?
Hutz: Well, Your Honor. We've plenty of hearsay and conjecture. Those are kinds of evidence.
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