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Old 03-21-2015, 05:04 AM   #1
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jeffpinto is on a distinguished road
Default Funny golf stories

I'm 28, just started playing because my parents moved into a retirement community with a golf course and my dad took up the game. I'm left-handed and didn't have clubs so I got a set from the shop. The clubs seemed really short and I kept hitting it sideways (maybe a shank, maybe off the edge of the toe, I still don't know). We get to the back nine, I hit another one dead left and it breaks a window on a fairway condo. My dad and me head over to check it out and there's a golf-ball-sized hole at the top of the window, and my ball sitting on the window-sill. A sweet old lady comes to the door and retrieves my ball for me. She said she was watching the Masters when she heard the noise. I guess you could call it "when virtual reality and reality collide. When we get back to the proshop and tell them what happened, the pro looks at the name on my clubs and says, "Nancy Lopez. These are women's clubs."
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Old 09-29-2015, 05:17 PM   #2
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Good story, Jeff! I like stories with coincidences. Here's one from 30+ yrs ago that I've told at least as many times. A day previous to playing a round with my dad in Crossville, TN, on a beautiful rolling mountain course, I had a first date with a girl, who cooked me dinner at her home. An after dinner chat on the couch turned into a freak show when she started gasping for air, as if she was having a heart attack. Of course frightened and concerned, I asked if she was okay, could I do anything. When she finally caught her breath, she asked what I had done to her. Confounded, I asked what she was talking about, I'd done nothing. She said that I did something to her with my eyes, "like they pulled out my soul". Okay, I've dated some psychos in my day, but this one was off the charts. She then said that it felt like I had complete control over her. Whatever! The next morning, Dad and I hit the course and I related the psycho story. He gets a kick out of it and we proceeded to tee off with a 3rd person we don't know. Dad was playing with an orange ball. Somewhere on the back 9, his tee shot goes far right into the adjacent fairway. He approaches his ball to hit. 2 players walking up that fairway stop to allow him to hit. There are 4 of us now watching him hit his orange ball. When he makes contact, instead of the usual sound, we here a loud clank and watch the ball go about 30 yards back into our fairway. Dad arrives at his ball, but is quite confused that his orange ball is not there. He's looking at a golf ball sized rock! I help him look, but his ball is nowhere to be found. He then tells me to take off my sunglasses. Confused, I ask why. He says, "Just do it". Still confused, I took my glasses off. My Dad then starts looking closely into my eyes. I asked what the heck he was doing. He says, "You did something to that girl with your eyes, now you turned my ball into a rock. Now, I will admit, Pops can be quite gullible, but this even beyond him. He actually believed it and told his version of the story through the years, "the day Doug turned my orange golf ball into a rock". Obviously hilarious, but I do have a hypothesis, the only one that makes sense (let me know if you can think of another). I believe his ball was directly next to the rock. When he hit the ball, he simultaneously hit the rock. The ball ricocheted off the rock and headed in a direction that nobody's eyes picked up. The rock headed straight out in the direction the ball should have gone, our eyes naturally followed it. But he refuses to believe that to this very day at 88 years old. He still remembers and still sticks to his version of the story. The question is, how can I use this gift to change the world? Hope you enjoyed! I wish more golfers would share their funny stories!!
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