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Old 12-19-2001, 07:24 PM   #1
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Post Sports Central Newsletter - #66 - The Dark Side of Sports

The Sports Central Newsletter
December 16th, 2001 - Issue #66

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|-- IN THIS ISSUE... --|

- Words From the Editor for 12.16.01
- What's new at Sports Central?
- Feature article: How I Gave Bill Gates the Idea of Windows
- Sports briefs: The latest in the sports world
- The Lancaster Report 12.16.01



Hello folks,

Nothing better than a pre-Christmas jampacked issue to get you in the
holiday spirit, huh?

Let's start off with the news of a new column on Sports Central. We've
teamed up with SportsWorkers.com to bring you sports-related content
with a different twist. Instead of looking at the sports world, we're
helping you in the sports field - as in sports career advice, tips, and
information. Whether you are interested in having a career in the sports
industry or you are looking to jumpstart your career, the new SC Sports
Career Center is for you. New content will be posted in the middle of
each month. Read up about this month's information:
<https://www.sports-central.org/columns/career_center> and let us know
what you think.

If you've visited the site in the last week (shame on you if you
haven't), you will undoubtedly notice a modest increase in speed and
response time. This is the result of our recent server/host switch.
Enjoy the new and improved, speedy SC site!

That's it from me. I'm eagerly anticipating the Duke/Kentucky college
basketball game this Tuesday night. Not only will the game feature two
top ten programs, but I'll have the pleasure to be in attendance at the
Continental Airlines Arena in the Meadowlands. Go Cats!

Until next time,

- Marc James, Your Editor
mailto:[email protected]


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Revisiting the new articles for the week of 12/10/01 - 12/16/01:


NBA: Crosstown rivalry?
By Mason Williams

For the past few NBA seasons, sportswriters, fans, and local sports
anchors have tried to play up the rivalry between the Los Angeles Lakers
and the Los Angeles Clippers. It seems logical that there would be
crosstown competition, but upon deeper inspection, SC's Mason Williams
asks, is there a rivalry at all?



COLUMNS: Bulls and Bears - Week 14
By Kellogg's Komments

With the NFL season in the final stretch, this is crunch time for
fantasy managers. Kellogg's Komments provides fantasy football die-hards
with the latest taste of expert knowledge. Find out who should be in
your lineup and who should warm your bench in this week's Bulls and
Bears column.



NFL: Gathering around the fire
By Craig Hardesty

At this point in the NFL season, hopefully your favorite team is setting
up to make its final push towards the playoffs and ultimately, the Super
Bowl. Unfortunately, this is also the time when speculation begins to
boil about which coaches may be getting their pink slips in a few weeks.
Craig Hardesty breaks down the list of candidates.



COLUMN: Irish, BCS should cut losses
By John McManus

Very seldom does SC's John McManus strongly agree with a coach's firing,
especially in the college ranks, where the job consists of more than
just wins and losses. However, Notre Dame didn't have much of a choice
in letting Bob Davie go. The Irish football program has dropped to
unacceptable depths under Davie's watch and improvements aren't visible
yet. Also, how would the BCS bowls look now under this proposed plan?
It's all in the latest edition of Calling The Shots.



COLLEGE BASKETBALL: A year of surprise
By James Kakoza

As you all may know, this has been a surprising year for NCAA men's
basketball. March is months away, yet numerous upsets have taken place
across the nation. SC's James Kakoza makes his SC debut as he looks at
the struggles of North Carolina, the early season upsets, and the
conference and players award-winners. If the play up to December is any
measure, fans are in for a wild year.



NBA: Sixers losing more than games
By George Gouvas

The Philadelphia 76ers will have a long road ahead of them to get back
to the NBA Finals. An enormous amount of injuries have the Eastern
Conference champs wondering if last year's run was a one-time shot, says
SC's George Gouvas.



NHL: NHL Christmas lists
By Lee Manchur

Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus are up in the North Pole with the Rudolph and
the other eight reindeer, as well as the elves, but did the NHL's
organizations and their hockey clubs make the "good" or "naughty" list?
Assuming they made it on to the good list, SC's Lee Manchur breaks down
what each club will find under the Christmas tree.



NFL: Are the Jags really 4-8?
By Kevin Basarab

As the 2002 regular season nears to an end, many wonder if the
Jacksonville Jaguars are really only 4-8. Jacksonville has led going
into the fourth quarter five out of their past six loses and averages a
3.6 point difference each game. SC's Kevin Basarab takes a look at the
Jags' struggles.




How I Gave Bill Gates the Idea of Windows

Come on, admit it. You've stretched the truth a little to get a job or a
girl, right? We've all claimed at some point to have single-handedly
liberated the Soviet Union from Communist oppression or invented the
Internet to impress a leggy blonde - I know I have. George O'Leary isn't
the first to be exposed as a being "economical with the truth" on his
resume. This year has seen a number of downright Clinton-esque claims in
the world of sports.

By Mike Round

The Minnesota Vikings were shocked to find on Randy Moss' resume that he
was posing as "a game-breaking receiver and a team player that was 100%
committed on every single play". Further investigation by the Viking
front office uncovered claims of being "quiet, unassuming, easy-going,
and particularly welcoming to corporate sponsors." Dennis Green is said
to be "devastated" by the news of Moss' lies and is considering levying
a fine of "many" dollars.

Meanwhile, in college football, the BCS committee is in disarray after
the Irmo (SC) Morning Advertiser (30 cents, if bought, available free in
your local Piggly Wiggly) has exposed that the BCS promised to "end the
tedious annual debate as to who is the rightful college football
national champion." This scandalously boastful claim wasn't enough to
satisfy the blimp-sized egos of the BCS committee, however, which went
on to guarantee that "we will never force the nation to endure a
national championship game that features a team who were too cowardly to
join the SEC and a team that has consistently failed to grasp the
concept of the forward pass."

When confronted on the allegations by Billy Bob Hobo, Tipping Cows
correspondent on the Irmo Morning Advertiser, the BCS representative
promised to upgrade the computer at BCS headquarters, stating that "the
gas-valve system currently in use was fine for planning the Normandy
landings but is not appropriate for determining that a team too poor to
win its conference
shouldn't be involved in a national championship game."

The world of baseball hasn't emerged scandal-free in 2001, either. Up in
New England, the Boston Red Sox are claiming that some of the entries on
their resume were "typos" after the New York Daily News uncovered a
document clearly stating that the Red Sox were a "major force in the
world of baseball," with a "championship caliber team" that would
"contend" for the AL
East. GM Dan Duquette, who himself is under pressure after he made
unfounded allegations regarding his own "vast" knowledge on the game of
baseball, shrugged off the furore by saying that, "We haven't won a
championship since World War One, so no one can claim we aren't a major
sports institution. We are right up there with football's Decatur
Staleys and Army in college

The NBA, watched by dozens of devotees all over Indiana and at least one
other state, is under pressure from the Senate Committee on travelling,
which is looking into the claim by long standing Hornets season-ticket
holder Bob Grumpy that the NBA "consistently ignores travelling
violations by major superstars in order to maintain it's slight TV
ratings lead over CNBC's Today in the Lithuanian Parliament."

Mr. Grumpy, who has a medical condition which means that he can not sit
in large gatherings of people without becoming distressed, claims to
have uncovered a document written by David Stern that states, "our
referees apply the letter of the law to all players, whether they be
Kobe, Michael, or one of those grunts from Golden State." The NBA has
produced a video for the Senate Committee that purports to illustrate
their point, but it is said to be "fuzzy" at several critical points.
The NBA is claiming that this is mere "coincidence."

International athletics hasn't been immune from dubious entries on its
resume, either. Despite numerous drug scandals over the years, the
International Olympic Committee, headquartered in the Colombian jungle,
is said to have claimed that the sport is now "completely drug-free,
apart from all track events, weightlifting, most throwing events and the
man who fires the starter gun." Spokesperson, Mr. Robert Downey Junior,
said, "We are now on the same level as cycling and the Mr. Universe

"We have nothing to fear from any investigation," he added, whilst
emptying the contents of his pockets down the toilet.

In the high-octane world of golf, PGA Tour Director Bob Snooze is said
to have circulated a memo to golf writers - or writer - claiming that
"many viewers of the thousands of pointless PGA tournaments, stretched
out over an interminable period of time, throughout the calendar year,
actually stay awake for the conclusion of the event." This claim is
apparently refuted by the American Medical Association, who, in their
handbook "How to Get a Good Night's Sleep," recommend a milky drink and
the Home Depot Open from another dull manicured lawn in Hotasanoven,


Mike Round is married to Sandra Bullock, is 6'5" tall, devastatingly
handsome, single-handedly recaptured the Falklands Islands for the UK,
and once purchased AOL shares at 69 cents.

Send us your feedback:
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And now, a collection of the latest and hottest sports stories on the

MLB: Sele could come back at reasonable price
Fort Worth Star-Telegram

NHL: LeClair is trying to snap cold spell
Philadelphia Daily News

NFL: For 49ers, time to move on

NBA: Air Jordan: Older, wiser, but not grounded yet

BOXING: Has it ever been better?

NFL: Tagliabue eyes New York, Washington for 2007 Super Bowl



By Ross Lancaster

--> CUSAís Best Team? Not Who You'd Think

Who is the only ranked Conference USA team in this week's poll? Not
South Florida. Not Memphis. Not even Cincinnati. But No. 17 Marquette,
who is one of only five undefeated teams in this week's Top 25. The
Golden Eagles became the champions of the Great Alaska Shootout on Nov.
24 with wins over three very respectable opponents in Tennessee, No. 14
Indiana, and No. 24 Gonzaga. The main ingredient in the success of Tom
Crean's club has been guard Dwyane Wade, who has already been featured
in Sports Illustrated and The Sporting News. Wade has averaged 19.4 ppg
as well as a team-leading 7.4 rpg in guiding the Eagles to a 9-0 start.

--> Lancaster's Top 25

1. Duke
2. Missouri
3. Maryland
4. Kansas
5. Arizona
6. Virginia
7. Kentucky
8. Florida
9. Illinois
10. Boston College
11. Syracuse
12. Georgetown
13. Iowa
14. Indiana
15. Oklahoma State
16. Stanford
17. Marquette
18. UCLA
19. Ball St.
20. St. Joseph's
21. Wake Forest
22. Michigan State
23. Oklahoma
24. Gonzaga
25. Western Kentucky

--> Games to Look For

12/18 - No. 1 Duke vs. No. 7 Kentucky
Prediction: Duke 85, Kentucky 81

12/20 - No. 6 Virginia at No. 12 Georgetown
Prediction: Georgetown 59, Virginia 58

12/21 - No. 3 Maryland at No. 23 Oklahoma
Prediction: Maryland 76, Oklahoma 63

12/22 - No. 2 Missouri vs. No. 9. Illinois
Prediction: Missouri 68, Illinois 66

12/22 - No. 7 Kentucky vs. No. 14 Indiana
Prediction: Kentucky 90, Indiana 73

--> Overrated/Underrated

* Overrated *

1. Michigan State
Tough schedule, but three losses for them this early in the year is

2. Illinois
That's two overrated Big Ten teams. Two losses to top five teams, but
their game against Arkansas last week looked like they were sleep
walking for the whole first half and part of the second half.

3. Pepperdine
You probably expected them in the other column with wins over UCLA and
USC, right? Well, after losses by 17 and 20 to Santa Barbara and Oregon,
who are hardly world beaters, they just don't look like they have what
it takes to be there in March.

* Underrated *

1. Southern Illinois
The Salukis (talk about your odd mascot name) took it to Indiana and
gave Illinois a very serious run for their money. If they keep it up,
they will be in my Top 25 in no time.

2. Texas Tech
You probably just rolled your eyes, didn't you? Well, the Red Raiders
are 7-1 under the General and should probably get to 9-1 before big
tests against Minnesota and Wyoming. If they get smashed in those
games, then this opinion will be retracted.

3. Miami (Fla.)
They're undefeated and you can't argue with that. They will show if they
are for real against Indiana in a game which will have been played by
the time you read this.


Next edition comes out on December 30th, just in time for all the
conference games to begin, so sit back and enjoy the games! Happy
Holidays to everyone!


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(Thanks for reading! Next issue set to come out on 12/30/01.)

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