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Like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of the National Football League's offseason.
It is like a melodramatic soap opera that never ends and never allows our attention to be at a deficit. Not even momentarily.
Here we are, more than three months away from the regular season kickoff, yet there are more pigskin-related topics on the tip of our tongues than any of the other active sports.
Is it really the downtime between seasons? If it is, I haven't noticed. Usually, when a major sport is on pause, we briefly fast-forward to the next season to glance at the landscape and then background the pastime and foreground the ongoing events.
Not in the NFL. It is a regular part of the conversation. For example:
* Baltimore Ravens superstar running back Jamal Lewis has been recently released from prison and has a new perspective on his one life to live: "Pick your friends wisely ... I never knew that things could be that serious just from knowing somebody or talking to somebody." Apparently, jail has a way of conceiving revelations.
* Washington Redskins 2004 first-round selection Sean Taylor has put someone in a general hospital and is charged with aggravated assault with a firearm, a felony, and simple battery. Maybe the people who know and talk to Sean Taylor will know and talk to him a lot less, thanks to the above advice from Jamal Lewis.
* The Winslows from "Guiding Light" have had their share of family drama and now the football-playing Winslows, Junior and Senior, have also been taxed by family matters and have spilled their emotions to the media. While Jr. was making his first public appearance since a contract-restricting motorcycle ride ended his 2005 football season, Sr. berated the Jerry Springer-like media. Isn't Sr. a part of the media on Saturday mornings as an ingredient on a college football show?
* And of course there is the disdain of Terrell Owens, which has never really left us — like Susan Lucci. I'm sure Owens will persist with his holdout, particularly since he is in the prime of his career, wants to prove that he is still the best, and is facing the Atlanta Falcons, the San Francisco 49ers, and the Oakland Raiders in the first three weeks of the season. Who really believes that he'll just sit tight as his squad faces the NFC's runner-up on the first Monday Night Football of the season, his former employee in week two and Randy Moss in week three? The Philadelphia Eagles brass does not buy it.
Does baseball or basketball offer this type of consistent hot stove discussion in the offseason? We were all curious where Pedro Martinez would sign and where Shaquille O'Neal's destination would land, but this is all "CNN Headline News" material compared to the "Entertainment Tonight" subject matter that the steroid-injected NFL offseason provides.
I haven't even mentioned the incessant Ricky Williams speculation.
Coaches hopping from the college ranks to the pros, professional players hopping in and out of jail, assaults, other legal faults, hold outs, conceited pouts, retirement doubts, family shouts, bouts for clout, and prospective sprouts.
That is why it is a soap opera. We watch an episode and immediately want more. There are storylines at every bend to keep us suspended and we want to see the conclusions immediately.
Nobody ever feels that way about baseball, basketball or hockey. Opening day is always a novelty in the major leagues, but with 161 other games to follow the hype for day one just isn't the same. And in the NHL and the NBA, most of the contenders do not exert any effort until at least one month into the season so any accumulated offseason excitement doesn't play out right away.
But in the NFL, training camps have yet to commence but we are all anxious to see how the New England Patriots will persevere without their premier coordinators in Week 1.
No wonder the sport is so popular.
Soap operas and the NFL offseason mix like Mondays and me.
"If everything appears to be going well, you don't know what the hell is going on." — Anonymous
Don't miss next week's installment of "I Hate Mondays," sponsored by CyberSportsbook.com, a great sportsbook for horse racing and casino action!
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