NFL Preseason Pleases No One

Players hate it, but they hate everything about August. Coaches hate it — they're damned by the media if they play their starters and damned by fans if they don't. Major League Baseball hates it, since their summer monopoly is at an end.

It is the NFL's preseason, that time of year when wide receivers wear jerseys numbered into the 90s and that boorish season ticket-holding neighbor wants to befriend you in the hope of divesting himself of those two unwanted stubs in the front of this year's pack.

Last weekend ushered in the 2007 edition with a full schedule of exhibitions amid a growing voice of opposition. In the Hall of Fame game, a sobering neck injury to Eagles running back Bruce Perry had dropped players to their knees in prayer before the first week even got underway. And with the injury list claiming at least one marquee player, opponents have pushed the envelope to more boisterous levels than ever before as they play before a newly-elected commissioner in their audience.

NBC wasted no time. Five days after Roger Goodell's election, the network found an opportunity during its debut broadcast Sunday night to weigh in on the game with which it has yet to become reacquainted. Four NBC mouthpieces conducted a poll among themselves as to what changes they would institute if elected Commissioner.

Against the backdrop of Pro Bowl running back Clinton Portis in street clothes after partially dislocating his left shoulder earlier in the evening, Al Michaels espoused the network's — errrr, his — disdain for the four-game preseason, opting instead for two additional regular season games.

NBC may get high grades for ingenuity and a "nice try" from its peers at CBS, FOX, and ESPN, but not much more. After all, Commissioner-Elect Goodell now answers to all 32 people in this country who love preseason football. For those who own an NFL franchise, the economics are infallible: 10 gates for the payroll of eight.

Besides, owners will point out, they have steadily conceded on this issue through the decades. Four games have been added to the regular season schedule since 1960, while two exhibitions have been cut. Goodell should find the chore of asking Portis to play 20 games for 16 paychecks a bit less demanding than that of his predecessor, Pete Rozelle. In his first year as Commissioner, Rozelle extracted 18 games from the likes of Ray Nitschke, while paying him for only 12.

For his part, Portis managed to find the prize in the Cracker Jack with his realization that he will not have to play another exhibition this season. As he commented upon leaving Redskins Park Sunday night, "I don't know why myself or any other player of my caliber should be playing in the preseason."

Portis will be joined on the sidelines by teammates Chris Clemons and Kerry Carter, who were also lost in Sunday's contest. NFL.com reports that Clemons, a reserve linebacker, sprained a ligament in his left knee and will miss four to six weeks. Carter, a reserve running back who was looking at extended play time in the wake of Portis' injury, managed but one quarter in that role before tearing two ligaments in his right knee. He is lost for the season.

As is Chad Greenway, the Vikings' first-round draft pick, who sustained an undisclosed knee injury during a kickoff in the Monday night finale to Week 1. San Diego kick returner Darren Sproles figures to miss several weeks after breaking a fibula in the Chargers' first exhibition win. Nor is there any word yet on the return of Bears' safety Mike Brown after his first-game Achilles' tendon injury last Friday.

With only one practice week in the books, critics wonder what the remaining exhibition schedule may have in store. Memories strike fear as they await the sequel to 2005's Rex Grossman, 2004's Jon Jansen, or 2003's Michael Vick. For them, the September 7 regular season kickoff cannot come fast enough. Somehow, a Vinny Testaverde-like season-ending injury is more palatable on Opening Day than in the preseason.

Defenders will argue that the exhibition slate provides a needed period of assessment as big-league rosters are filled out; that injuries occurring in games that count are no less devastating than in games that do not; that the preseason absorbs IR time resulting from offseason surgeries and early season injuries that would otherwise displace regular season games. The latter is certainly the case with Portis, who may miss no regular season action at all.

Nonetheless, at 25% the length of its regular schedule, the NFL preseason is the relative longest of the four major sports. Major League Baseball, at about 20%, is a distant second, even with Grapefruit and Cactus League schedules riddled with split-squad games and 25-man rosters riddled with stars quick to pass up a long bus ride.

So, what should our new Commish do about the preseason once he assumes office?

Al Michaels' Regular Season in August would do wonders in NBC's battle with Desperate Housewives, but the rest of the country is still vacuuming their swimming pools and changing air conditioner filters. Perhaps the NFL could adopt a dual approach similar to MLB, whereby Portis and those of his "caliber" could play in one state where bus rides are optional, while the rank-and-file could fight among themselves for the practice squad openings in another.

Better yet, maybe what Roger Goodell really needs is for Ray Nitschke to come around one more time and tell everyone to just suck it up.

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