Surprise! Another Erin Andrews Hatchet Job

We like to have fun here and that's okay. Sports debate is a fun diversion from everyday life, but there are crises that bring us together as a people and we have another one facing us today. I'd like to think that we could put aside our differences and let our humanity take the wheel as we work feverishly to right the latest wrong in our world.

Random hot chicks aren't getting enough attention.

This conclusion can be extrapolated from purely anecdotal evidence as a random female broadcaster (read: hot chick) recently threw a hissy fit on Twitter directed at Erin Andrews. Kristin Tallent, a broadcaster from FOX Memphis (I looked it up, it's a city in Tennessee), attacked Andrews for appearing on "Dancing With the Stars."

She started with this tweet:

"Newsflash Erin Andrews, not all women in sports see you as one of their own. I'm nothing like you lady &I never looked at u as a journalist."

Then followed up with these comments, directed at a reporter from CBS who called her out for her original tweet:

"not a hater, just speaking my mind. She has pimped herself out...She was soooo upset about being "stalked" that she went on dancing with the stars. I was a college athlete, sports has been my entire life and I don't appreciate someone pulling that."

Then he asked if she would pass on the show if invited:

"yes, actually I would pass on DWTS bc I think it is a dumb show. Now, if some show called about training me to be in the WNBA, or the LPGA, then I would definitely be in. Of course, they don't wear stripper clothes in the WNBA/LPGA."

Before breaking them down, let's acknowledge these tweets for what they really are: a pathetic and desperate publicity stunt. It's one of the oldest tricks in the attention whore media book. Start a feud with someone bigger than you and hope they acknowledge you, therefore allowing people to discover you exist.

If this was a college party, Tallent would be the drunk sorority girl who keeps tripping over coffee tables and somehow can't keep the straps of her shirt from falling off her shoulders. Everyone knows she's acting 100 times drunker than she really is, but they tolerate it because they know she draws sustenance from being tagged in photos on Facebook.

I get it, these are tough times for her. There are two wars going on right now, the economy is in the tank, the world is being bombarded with natural disasters, and political dissension is higher than its been in years. People have real stuff to pay attention to and hot chicks sometime fall by the wayside.

If you actually break down what she's trying to say, you run into the same problem a lot of people have with things hot chicks say. It just doesn't make any logical sense.

She starts by saying Erin Andrews isn't a journalist and that women in sports don't see her as part of the group. On the other hand, you can tell Tallent is a journalist right away because she starts her tweets by saying "Newsflash." I'm pretty sure Tallent also wears a fedora with a press pass in the brim when she does her newscasts.

From there, she just gets absurd. She puts "stalked" in quotations like it wasn't a big deal. Andrews had some creep following her around the country and drilling holes in the hotel room next to hers to videotape her when she was naked. What needs to happen before Tallent would classify it as stalking?

Does the guy need to sleep in the bed next to her? Call her up late at night and just breathe heavily into the phone? Mail her pictures of him doing dirty things to her family pet?

Then Tallent goes on to say she has been in sports her whole life and doesn't appreciate someone pulling that crap. The "crap" she's referring to is Andrews making a brilliant marketing move by going on a harmless ballroom dancing show that is one of the most watched shows in the country. Who wouldn't make that move?

Tallent is in a business that places an enormous value on looks. Being hot is way more important than anything else you bring to that job. It's not fair, especially for women because they are forced out far before men. Andrews is in that same business. How could Tallent now understand Andrews trying to take advantage of anything she can while she still has a TV career? It's laughable if Tallent doesn't understand this and really considers herself a true journalist.

One of my favorite parts of her tweet meltdown is how she says she has played sports her whole life and doesn't appreciate someone pulling that. As if because she played recreational soccer as a kid, she is now the protector of the Sports Universe and its integrity.

Again, it doesn't make any sense because if she was really offended she would have just as much a problem with Chad Ochocinco and other athletes being on the show. She doesn't, because logic isn't important when your real message is that "hey, everyone, I'm a hot chick, pay attention to me!"

She ends with some drivel about how she'd never do DWTS, which I assume is because she's not a star. She does say she'd do a show based about getting her ready to play in the WNBA or something, because they don't make you wear stripper clothes.

Again, just more nonsense that doesn't make sense. In one season of DWTS, Andrews will earn three to five times the salary the average WNBAer makes in three seasons. Really, Tallent should have just tweeted, "Hey, everyone, look at me! I'm insulting Erin Andrews!!!" to save us from even trying to understand what she's saying.

As a dignified and united American people, forgiveness is the only reasonable option we have for Tallent's misguided and hopelessly pathetic rant. Now that we have identified the problem, the best course of action is to establish a fundraiser in Tallent's honor. So, please, if anyone reading this has any extra attention, please donate it Kristin Tallent.

You can leave it in the comments section here, or you can contact her on Twitter (@Kristin_Tallent). Please do what you can. Any little bit helps.

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