* The Bawls in Their Court — Miami head coach Eric Spoelstra said that there was crying in the locker room after the Heat's 87-86 loss to the Bulls on Sunday. Considering the tears, and the Heat's massive payroll, it seems the Miami locker room can be considered a 'whine and cheese' crowd.
* Devils Without Applause — North Carolina toppled Duke 81-67 on Saturday to win the outright ACC regular season crown. It was a game fitting of teams headed in opposite directions, made more apparent by the fact that Duke players got ran off the court, while Tar Heel fans ran on the court.
* Mormon Conquest — Brigham Young basketball player Brandon Davies was kicked off the team on March 3rd for an honor code violation, apparently for having premarital sex with his girlfriend. Apparently, Davies failed to show "Latter Day Restraint." Oh well, you get some, you lose some.
* Know-hio State — Ohio State football head coach Jim Tressel was suspended for two games and fined $250,000 after it was discovered that he knew players were selling memorabilia eight months before OSU was made aware of the claims. With OSU memorabilia selling like hotcakes, it's ironic that Tressel was busted for "keeping to himself."
* Fools Rush in, or "Here She Comes Now Singin' 'Alimony,' or Barber-y Cost" — Former New York Giants running back Tiki Barber has announced he plans to return to football at the age of 36. The Giants will remove Barber from the reserve-retirement list and release him, once the league allows it. In 2010, it was reported that Barber was broke and couldn't pay his divorce settlement. Few teams have shown interest, although the Buffalo Bills seem like the most logical destination.
* Who Knew? Kobe Can Pass — Kobe Bryant passed Moses Malone for sixth on the NBA's all-time scoring list. Bryant trails only Shaquille O'Neal, Wilt Chamberlain, Michael Jordan, Karl Malone, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. It's a long way to the top, with some distinguished names ahead of him, but Bryant has expressed that he looks forward to "taking it" from behind.
* Quarterback Chic — Tom Brady, with his hair in a pony tail, was videotaped dancing, badly, at Brazil's Carnival celebration. I think that even Patriot fans will agree that an "intentional grounding" penalty desperately needed to be enforced in that situation. It seems that Brady can only find his rhythm on the football field.
* Suicide Squeeze — The Detroit News reported that Tigers first baseball Miguel Cabrera was belligerent and told police to "shoot him" during his arrest on suspicion of drunk driving on February 16th. Luckily, cops shook off Cabrera's sign and just arrested him. It's common knowledge Cabrera has an alcohol problem, so it would seem this isn't the first time he's missed the "cut off" sign.
* Odd Thing is, She Finished Before All But Three of the Men — Danica Patrick finished fourth in Saturday's Nationwide Series Sam's Town 300 at Las Vegas, the best finish ever by a woman in a NASCAR race. Now, if only those GoDaddy.com commercials could live up to the hype.
* Money Talks, or "D.S." Walks — The NFL Players Association rejected the league's offer of requested financial information, an offer union leader DeMaurice Smith called "utterly meaningless." NFL owners said that if Smith wants them to take his request seriously, he should avoid using lines from Jerry Maguire.
* Jersey Gored — Officials in the St. John's/Rutgers Big East quarterfinal game missed two calls, a traveling violation and an out of bounds infringement, both on St. John's, in the Red Storm's 65-63 win on Wednesday. Rutgers would have had the ball with at least 1.7 seconds had either call been made. The referees left he court in a hurry, and were reportedly seen getting into a car driven by former NBA ref Tim Donaghy.
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