Friday, August 5, 2011

Sports Q&A: The Randy Moss Quiz

By Jeffrey Boswell

Randy Moss was born in:
a. a manger
b. a test tube
c. a 1973 Country Squire station wagon
d. Rand, West Virginia

Moss' middle name is:
a. Quaid
b. Travis
c. Mud
d. Gene

In high school, Moss was a basketball teammate of:
a. "Vanilla Ice" Jason Williams
b. "White Wrapper" Jason Williams
c. "Pale Guider" Jason Williams
d. "White Chocolate" Jason Williams

Moss had a scholarship to Florida State:
a. offered and sweetened with cash and sexual favors
b. turned to dust
c. used as toilet paper
d. revoked

Moss attended college at:
a. his leisure
b. most, two days a week
c. varying intervals
d. Marshall

In college, Moss studied:
a. political science
b. leisure studies
c. critical theory
d. character issues

Moss' favorite type of bread is:
a. Italian
b. French
c. cornbread
d. loaf

When Moss announced he had MS in 1999, he was referring to:
a. multiple sclerosis
b. my Sharona
c. minimal strain
d. mad skillz

Moss called his 2005 simulated mooning of a Green Bay Packers end zone crowd:
a. unfortunate
b. regrettable
c. liberating
d. the "crack back block of cheese"

FOX announcer Joe Buck called Moss' mooning display:
a. a turn-on
b. a Sir Mixalot song gone very bad
c. the defining moment of his own career
d. disgusting

Moss often spoke of "burning one." By "one," he meant:
a. a timeout
b. a bridge
c. a Raiders jersey
d. a joint

Name the phrase that a coach has not said to Moss:
a. Jesus Christ, Superstar!
b. Is that all you got?
c. You're so athletic, it looks like you're not even trying.
d. Please, take my daughter's hand in marriage.

During his eventful football career, Moss made a habit of beating:
a. cornerbacks
b. safeties
c. raps
d. girlfriends

Moss considers Terrell Owens a(n):
a. contemporary
b. equal
c. nuisance
d. VH1 diva

In his career, Moss has worn:
a. No. 84
b. No. 18
c. No. 81
d. out his welcome

In the final game of the 2004 season in Washington, with the Vikings down by two and preparing to attempt an onside kick, Moss famously:
a. hailed a taxi
b. ordered pizza
c. maced a line judge
d. walked off the field

To Moss, an example of good coverage is:
a. Deion Sanders
b. Charles Woodson
c. Ty Law
d. A du-rag

The "Randy Ratio" was:
a. a measurement of libido
b. Mike Tice's sole claim to fame
c. a failure
d. a Viking strategy to throw the ball to Moss 40% of the time

Over his NFL career, Moss caught:
a. all kinds of hell from Cris Carter
b. the attention of several law enforcement agencies
c. very few passes from Oakland quarterbacks
d. 153 touchdown passes

During a 2002 traffic incident in downtown Minnesota, Moss:
a. squirted a parking meter with Gatorade
b. was found to have marijuana in his possession after being stopped for running a stop sign, and subsequently charged with a "rolling" stop
c. signed a traffic ticket with Fran Tarkenton's name
d. bumped a traffic control officer with his car

During a verbal altercation with Tom Brady last year, Moss allegedly told Brady to cut his hair because it made him look like:
a. he needed a hot oil treatment
b. a bitch-slapping was in order
c. Fabio
d. a girl

Moss is co-owner of a NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series team called:
a. Truck That Motorsports
b. Half-Speed Motorsports
c. Hit and Run Racing
d. Randy Moss Motorsports

On August 1, 2011, Moss announced:
a. his rebirth as a voodoo priest
b. his intention to make a half-hearted run for Congress
c. the NFL could kiss his behind
d. his retirement

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