The Silent Bowl

I've watched past Super Bowls with my family and some of my best friends. These are people I've laughed with. People I've cried with. People I've drunkenly hooked-up and never spoken about it again with. But one thing I've never done is watched the Super Bowl alone. That is, until tonight.

Don't feel bad for me; this was a choice I made. I'm officially one year into my career, and feel like I've been given the keys to a car I don't want to drive. This week especially, along with some personal matters I have to take care of, is super busy. I'd love to be around friends, but I wanted to make sure I am 100% ready to go for the week, and the combination of my friends' affinity for cheap liquor and my historically feeble response to peer pressure eliminated any real craving to attend a Super Bowl party.

I get it, just don't drink or at least don't drink a lot. I guess I could do that, but have you ever had a sober conversation with someone absolutely trashed? I'll take a rain check from getting spit on mid-conversation while listening to slurred words and repeated arguments about how the Patriots cheat. Yeah, my friends drink a little bit, and the Super Bowl is more than the excuse they need to turn this evening into a blackout. Unless I can return fire with some spitballs of my own, I'll pass.

It's not only about drinking, though. Not in the least. I like to convince myself that I'm a student of the game, and being surrounded by a bunch of people typically disallows me to fully analyze the game as it happens and listen to the analysts' commentary. I need to hear Tony Romo dropping knowledge.

I'm comfortably relaxing on my couch as the first big play of the game occurs — Tom Brady throwing a pick on his first pass. Normally, I'd be in the process of being badgered for the ninth time by some guy I barely know to rate his buffalo chicken dip. He's so freaking proud of this thing and his secret ingredient he keeps talking about that he really wants to share, but nobody cares enough to inquire further. It tastes fine, James, now leave me alone forever.

Besides, Super Bowl parties sometimes have a semi-weird vibe. Half the people are really into the game, while the other half just want to see the commercials. This often results in a back-and-forth shushing battle throughout, accomplishing nothing but making both the game and the commercials inaudible. And then, right when silence is finally achieved so we could all watch the highly anticipated Bud Light ad in unison, James shouts out that the secret ingredient was honey and we all lose our minds. Who brought this guy?

The game is slow, though, and the offensive party we attended all year is seemingly overshadowed. It wasn't sexy, but it was still a good game throughout of scheming and counter-scheming, led by defensive anchors on both sides of the ball. Adam Levine is ripped.

I'm fully expecting Tom Brady to go Tom Brady at any moment, though we don't necessarily get it. This was his first Super Bowl where he didn't throw a touchdown. It didn't matter, though. He orchestrated a drive to score the games only touchdown, and the Patriots didn't look back. Forget the numbers, this victory bolsters Brady's legacy even more, especially because he was throwing to Chris Hogan all game. Can we all agree to send him back to Penn State to play lacrosse?

I'd love to say "what a game," but I'd probably be lying to you. I maintained interest throughout; I mean, it was still the Super Bowl. But I wish we got some more wow moments. Nonetheless, I have to say I enjoyed my solitude. While there were points in which I wish I could have shared some of my brilliant insight, I truly relished watching by myself. Who knows what next year will bring, but this year's Silent Bowl is complete. I wonder if James has any of that dip left. By the way, I give it an 8/10.

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