Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Super Bowl LIII Aftermath

By Jeffrey Boswell

Where does Super Bowl LIII rank in excitement compared to the other 52?

A solid "LIIIrd."

Did Sean Payton watch the Super Bowl?

He probably tried to on his traditional antenna television, but I'm guessing something "interfered" with his "reception."

Was Julian Edelman a worthy pick for Most Valuable Player?

Indeed. Edelman was extraordinary. He was far from just ordinary. In other words, Edelman may be Jewish, but he's certainly not an 'orthodox' Jew.

Edelman was a force throughout the playoffs. I'm not sure what he did to take his game to the next level in the postseason, but whatever it was, it was "performance-enhancing."

How would you rate the play of the two quarterbacks?

Neither Tom Brady nor Jared Goff played great. Brady was good enough, especially when he had to be. Goff was just awful. He appeared to be overwhelmed by the magnitude of the moment. It's one thing to be the "GOAT in the spotlight"; it's another to be a "Ram in the headlights."

What did we learn from the Super Bowl commercials?

That the commercials were more entertaining than the game.

Personally, I learned that I could care less whether there is corn syrup in the beer I drink. Heck, I would rather drink pure corn syrup that that mermaid piss-water that Bon and Viv, whomever they are, call "spiked seltzer."

But seriously, the best ad of the night may have been the "NFL 100" piece, featuring everybody who is and was somebody in the NFL. Studies show if Peyton Manning is in the commercial, it can't fail. And it included Todd Gurley's only meaningful rush in the last month.

Note: best vanity license plate of the night: "NUTS4U" in the Planters Peanuts commercial.

What does the future hold for Rob Gronkowski?

Retirement is never an easy decision for a professional athlete to make. Especially one as relatively young as the 29-year-old Gronkowski. It's a difficult decision. It could take weeks, or even months, for Gronk to make up his mind. So, expect him to hold a press conference 69 days, 69 hours, 69 minutes, and 69 seconds from now.

Should he choose retirement, the possibilities for Gronk are endless. He could start his professional wrestling career with a match at Wrestlemania 35. Or a job with the National Hockey League as an analyst, in which he would specialize solely in plays involving the "five-hole."

Or Gronk could get into the world of digital audio, by hosting a show devoted to Alabama football called the "Tide Podcast."

Ideally, Gronk could be the host of Comedy Central's zany new game show "F, Marry, Kill."

How was the halftime show?

Let's ask Patrick Mahomes.

Me: "Hey Patrick, did you watch the halftime show?"

Patrick Mahomes: "Nope. I took a "no look-pass" on that."

What was the turning point of the game?

Amazingly, the turning point happened well before the game itself, when the Patriots first devised the game plan to render Jared Goff and the Rams offense impotent. Give the New England defense and A+; give the Los Angeles offense an "ED."

How would you grade the Rams defense?

They get an A+, as well. If you would have told the Rams that they would hold the Patriots to 13 points, L.A. would have probably felt pretty confident about winning. Old school defensive geniuses Wade Phillips and Bill Belichick made the case that defense still wins championships.

How would you grade the officiating?

Aside from a mysterious unnecessary roughness call on Nickell Robey-Coleman on what appeared to be a routine tackle early in the game, the officials did a great job. I'm not sure if that makes the Saints feel better or worse.

How was the call from the CBS team of Jim Nantz and Tony Romo?

Solid as usual. The chemistry between the two is perfect. The only thing that could make it better is adding a comedian to the mix.

Who will battle for Super Bowl LIV is Miami next year?

In the NFC, I expect the Saints to dedicate 2019 as the "Saints Revenge Tour," also known as the "Who Dat's F'd Up Tour." New Orleans will storm through the season, powered by Drew Brees and an angry Sean Payton, armed with the ability to challenge one pass interference call per game, seven less than the number Payton wanted.

The Saints will meet the Patriots, because how can you pick against the Patriots? Bill Belichick and Tom Brady automatically put the Pats in the playoffs, and you know they absolutely won't have to go the wild card route.

In the end, the Saints win, buoyed by a controversial pass interference call on the Patriots that Belichick challenges, but fails to win.

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