Super Bowl LIV Aftermath

What was the turning point of the Chiefs' 31-20 victory?

There were two. The first was Patrick Mahomes' 44-yard pass to Tyreek Hill on 3rd-and-15 from their own 35. That led to the first of K.C.'s three fourth-quarter touchdowns.

The second was Jimmy Garoppolo's overthrow to Emmanuel Sanders on third down with the 49ers trailing 24-20. An accurate pass would have resulted in a 49-yard touchdown and a 27-24 San Fran lead.

You could argue that the turning point was San Fran's decision not to call timeout to stop the clock before the Chiefs were to punt late in the first half. By calling a timeout, the 49ers would have had at least 1:50 and three timeouts, which is plenty of time to get into field goal range or even score a touchdown.

Apparently, Kyle Shanahan was content with going into the half tied with a Chiefs team that has consistently proved it can score quickly and from anywhere on the field. Or, Shanahan wasn't confident in asking Garapollo to throw in that situation, although the 49ers had the time and timeouts to run the ball.

If you asked the Ravens Mark Ingram to explain, he would likely say, "No truss."

So, did the Chiefs win the Super Bowl, or did the 49ers lose it?


What was the lasting image of the Super Bowl broadcast?

Mahomes standing tall in the pocket and taking a hit from DeForest Buckner and still managing to complete the long pass to Hill.

Or, possibly Mother Earth deep-throating a giant Snickers bar.

Is the city of Kansas City still partying?

Of course they are. And I hear the celebration was so big, it even spilled into the state of Kansas.

Kyle Shanahan was Atlanta's offensive coordinator when the Falcons blew a 28-3 third quarter lead to eventually lose 34-28 to the Patriots in Super Bowl LIV. How will Shanahan live down blowing a 10-point, late fourth-quarter lead to the Chiefs?

He can't, but he can certainly make the most of it. Somewhere out there, there is a company looking for the perfect spokesman to advertise their home security storage units. Shanahan would make the perfect shill. I can hear it now, "Hi, I'm Kyle Shanahan for the 'No Lead Is' Safe Company."

Is Tom Brady going to be a Raider next season?

I guess it could happen. And that would be a huge story if it actually happens. My prediction is it goes down like this: Brady agrees in principle to become a Raider. He meets with Mark Davis and Jon Gruden to sign a one-year contract. Just when the pen is about to hit paper, Charles Woodson comes out of nowhere and slaps the pen out of Brady's hand. Woodson takes the pen, tucks it into his pocket, and leaves. The deal falls through.

How was the halftime show featuring Shakira and Jennifer Lopez?

Was it the "Puppy Bowl?" Because there was a lot of "tail wagging."

If you like pelvic thrusting, then you loved the halftime show.

If you asked the Ravens Mark Ingram to explain, he would likely say, "big thrust."

What was up with Shakira and the rope?

Shak was paying homage to the "Colombian Necktie," which, I'm told, is a BDSM/autoerotic asphyxiation fetish apparatus.

How would you respond to critics who said the halftime show was over-sexualized and objectified women's bodies?

If that's all it takes to offend you, then you're the p###y.

Tom Brady's tweet earlier in the week ended up being a reference to his Hulu ad, and not necessarily his future as a Patriot. Did Brady fool us all?

This is certainly not the first time Brady has given an ambiguous statement. Just ask NFL investigators.

Indeed, Brady threw us a curveball, and not even the Houston Astros saw that coming.

Speaking of Super Bowl ads, what was your favorite?

I'm partial to the Cheetos commercial featuring M.C. Hammer and "Can't Touch This." And if you're wondering who Hammer should thank for all the fame and fortune "Can't Touch This" has brought him, it's Rick James, bitch.

Was that Wesley Snipes in the Planters Peanuts commercial?

It was. I'm guessing when Planters pitched the idea to Snipes, a convicted tax cheater, they said "monocle," but he heard "Monaco," which is where you call home if you don't want to pay taxes.

Should I buy hummus just because Ric Flair told me to?

Yes. Because although you may not be 'limousine-ridin,' or 'jet-flying,' you can easily be a 'hummus-buyin,' wheeling,' dealin,' son of a gun.

Word is when they told Flair hummus was made from the chickpea, he needed clarification.

Can both the Chiefs and 49ers make a Super Bowl run next season?

Sure, the 49ers can make a Super Bowl run, but can they make a Super Bowl pass?

And the Chiefs will win the AFC West, so they'll certainly be in the conversation.

In all seriousness, the 49ers are the clear NFC favorites. But, they are in the NFC West, which would appear to be the NFL's toughest division.

So, I'll go out on a limb and say Super Bowl LV will pit the NFC West champion versus the AFC North champion.

Andy Reid said he didn't spend the night with the trophy, but instead spent the night with his "trophy wife." Is this the peek into an NFL head coach's sex life that fans have been clamoring for?

I'll just say this: for the sake of Mrs. Reid, let's hope the "world" is the only thing Andy Reid was on top of.

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