Thursday, April 20, 2023
Saturday Afternoon Sports Smorgasbord
I've always been a fan of quantity over quality. I don't want a single Nathan's Famous hot dog if I can have four Oscar Meyers, or six store-brand hot dogs, at the same price. It's a controversial stance, but quality is subjective and I have a good imagination.
So as a sports viewer, I am looking at noon Eastern on Saturday as a time when, with a decently-apportioned sports cable or satellite package, you can watch pretty much whichever sport your heart desires.
Let's start with my favorite sport, football, where here in April there will not one but two games on offer at that time: Orlando at St. Louis in XFL action on ESPN (starts at noon) and the USFL has the Gamblers vs. the Breakers on USA (starts at 12:30).
Every attempt at spring football has failed spectacularly, and there is absolutely no way the USFL and XFL are both going to be viable long-term, so treasure times like this, me bros.
If college football is more your thing, and scores don't matter to you at all, you can watch the Minnesota spring game live on BTN, or the Georgia Southern one on ESPN+. Both start at noon.
What's that? You say you can't watch football when there is playoff basketball to be watched? Understandable. For that, you have Game 4 of the Nets and Sixers on TNT (starts at noon).
If golf is more your cup of sports, you have the Zurich Classic on the Golf Channel (starts at noon), or if the PGA Tour is just too damn woke for you, LIV Golf will be on the CW at the same time — although, considering that's being contested in a part of Australia where is will be 3:30 AM at 1 PM Eastern, I am going to have to call shenanigans on TVPassport's claim of "live."
There's only one MLB game on at 1 PM on Saturday, but it's a good one — Blue Jays at Yankees (starts at 1 and is the ESPN+ free game of the day). Additionally, ESPN2 has a college baseball doubleheader — Vanderbilt at Tennessee (starts at noon) followed by LSU at Ole Miss. ESPN+/ESPN3 lists 11 other college baseball games going on at 1 PM, as well.
Are you more of a hockey fan? Then you probably already know that playoff games don't start until 3 PM on Saturday, boo. But there's still live hockey of the country variety — the IIHF U-18 world championships are going on, and it will be Germany vs. the Czech Republic at noon on NHL Network.
Need to see dudes whale on each other instead? KSW 81 (KSW is probably a top-five or at least top-10 worldwide MMA promotion) starts at 1 PM and can be had for a USA tenner on the KSW website. The main event features two Poles with 22 wins and a single loss between them. The undefeated guy — Adrian Bartosinski — is a -350 favorite over the one-loss guy (Artur Szczepaniak).
ESPNU has a lacrosse double-header from the ACC (North Carolina at Notre Dame, followed by Syracuse at Virginia starting at noon), if the above sports are too mainstream for you, and if that's too mainstream, CBS has live pickleball at 1P M.
All of this action in (mostly) the United States has pushed out the world's most popular sport, but there is soccer to be watched at 1 PM Eastern, including the Bundesliga and La Liga on ESPN+ and the Canadian Soccer League on FOX Sports Plus.
There's also no tennis to speak of as all of the main tour action is in Europe this week, and those matches are likely to be concluded by 1 PM Eastern. But there is an ATP Challenger Tour tournament going on in Sarasota, Florida, where it's possible a 1P M match will be on offer. Additionally, we have the SEC Tennis Championships on SECN+ at 1 PM.
So which of these things will I be watching? None of them. The PGA Tour Champions stop this week is the Invited Celebrity Classic at the country club literally across the street from my apartment, and I have tickets.