Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.
NY Jets @ New England (-12)
The Patriots earned a tough 28-23 win over the Buccaneers at Raymond James Stadium. Drake Maye passed for 270 yards and 2 touchdowns, and TreVeyon Henderson logged 147 rushing yards and 2 touchdowns.
"You could say that Drake has 'got that dog in him,'" Mike Vrabel said. "Similarly, Tom Brady might say 'He's got that doggie DNA in him,' and let's hope to hell he's talking about his cloned pet when he says that."
The Jets beat the visiting Browns 27-20, powered by two special teams touchdowns and a big day from Breece Hall, who had 125 total yards and a touchdown.
"Breece was the subject of a lot of trade rumors leading up to the trade deadline," Aaron Glenn said. "Unfortunately for him, they were just rumors."
Patriots win, 24-11.
Washington vs Miami (-2½)
The Dolphins humbled the visiting Bills 30-13 at Hard Rock Stadium, led by Devon Achane, who had 225 yards and 2 touchdowns. The Miami defense sacked Josh Allen three times and forced 3 Bills turnovers.
"We played great," Mike McDaniel said. "I'd like to say that was due to an inspiring speech I gave prior to the game. But in all likelihood, it was due to the speech I didn't give before the game."
The visiting Lions smashed the Commanders 44-22, as Detroit piled up over 500 yards of total offense.
"It was cool to have President Donald Trump in attendance," Dan Quinn said, "so he could see another Washington institution torn down.
"Trump wants the new Commanders' stadium to be named after him. He needs to understand there are also plenty of large companies that are willing to pay a lot of money to have their name on the stadium. So, all I can tell the President is 'You're on the list.'"
Commanders win, 24-22.
Carolina @ Atlanta (-3½)
The Falcons lost 31-25 in overtime to the Colts in Berlin, Germany. Jonathan Taylor tore through the Atlanta defense for 244 yards rushing and 3 touchdowns.
"Saying Taylor 'ripped' through our defense would not tell the whole story," Raheem Morris said. "He also tore us a new one.
"The Panthers embarrassed us 30-0 back in Week 3. We certainly haven't forgotten about that, although we've tried really, really hard to do so."
The Saints' defense limited Rico Dowdle, and Bryce Young and the Panthers's passing game couldn't pick up the slack in a 17-7 Carolina loss to the visiting Saints.
"You could say," Dave Canales said, "and I think Rico would agree, that our offense lacked the necessary thrust, pelvic to be exact."
Falcons win, 30-16.
Tampa Bay @ Buffalo (-5½)
The visiting Patriots outlasted the Buccaneers 28-23 despite 273 yards passing and 3 touchdowns from Baker Mayfield. Tampa dropped to 6-3, but still leads the NFC South by 1½ games over the Panthers.
"Sometimes," Mayfield said, "I put the weight of this team on my back. How much does this team weigh? Well, how much does an albatross weigh?"
The inspired Dolphins stunned the Bills 30-13 in Miami, handing Buffalo its worst loss of the season. Miami shut down the Bills' rushing attack, holding James Cook to just 53 yards on the ground.
"We've lost three of our last five games," Sean McDermott said. "If we don't get our act together, our chances to win the Super Bowl will dwindle to 0%. However, our chances to lose the Super Bowl remain high, as always.
"I guess we should have tried harder to trade for a wide receiver before the November 11th trade deadline. Then again, I guess we should have tried less harder last year when we traded for Amari Cooper. So I guess we're even, and if we don't start playing better, our record will be even."
Bills win, 27-24.
Houston @ Tennessee (+7½)
The Texans stormed back from a 29-10 fourth-quarter deficit to shock the visiting Jaguars 36-29. Davis Mills' 14-yard TD scramble gave Houston the lead, and the Texans defense closed it out with a fumble return touchdown.
"I thought Davis did a fine job of managing the game," DeMeco Ryans said. "Management of some sort is likely his calling, and I would say a restaurant might be most suitable."
The Titans had a Week 10 bye and return to action at 1-8.
"The NFL season is a long and grueling endeavor," Mike McCoy said. "So our bye week couldn't have come at a better time, because we're 'tired' of losing."
Texans win, 27-10.
Chicago @ Minnesota (-3)
Caleb Williams' 17-yard touchdown run late in the fourth quarter gave the Bears a 24-20 win over the visiting Giants, who led 17-7 in the third quarter.
"Quarterback play was crucial in that game," Ben Johnson said. "That's why when Russell Wilson replaced the injured Jaxson Dart for the Giants, I knew we were in good shape."
The Vikings couldn't overcome Lamar Jackson and an attacking Baltimore defense in a 27-19 loss to the visiting Ravens. J.J. McCarthy threw 2 interceptions, and completed less than 50% of his passes.
"People forget that this was just J.J.'s fourth NFL game," Kevin O'Connell said. "People may forget, but defenses don't.
"We've got to be better about getting the ball in the hands of Justin Jefferson. Justin has politely asked for the ball; I'd rather he not politely ask for a trade."
Vikings win, 30-23.
Green Bay @ NY Giants (+7)
The Giants lost 24-20 to the visiting Bears at MetLife Stadium. New York led 17-10 when Jaxson Dart was forced out of the game with a concussion. At that point, Dart had two rushing scores and 242 yards passing. On Monday, Brian Daboll was fired as head coach.
"To say, 'we didn't see that coming,'" interim head coach Mike Kafka said, "would be a total lie. We saw it coming a mile away, much like we saw Jaxson's second, third, and fourth concussions."
The Packers were on the short end of a 10-7 loss in a defensive struggle on Monday night at Lambeau Field. Green Bay has lost two straight and is 5-3-1, trailing the 6-3 Lions and Bears in the NFC North.
"I'd like to thank our defense for keeping us in the game," Matt Lafleur said. "Equal thanks should go to the Eagles' offense for also keeping us in the game.
"If you like offense, then you certainly didn't enjoy that game. If you like questionable play-calling, then you really enjoyed that game."
Packers win, 31-17.
Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh (-5½)
The Steelers' offense was shut down by the Chargers in a 25-10 loss to Los Angeles at SoFi Stadium. Aaron Rodgers was under assault all night, and was sacked 3 times and picked off twice.
"When you're in the presence of adversity," Rodgers said, "you can either stay and fight to overcome it, or you can run away from it like a little bitch, as my good friend RFK, Jr. did the other day.
"Let's have a moment of silence for former Steeler Antonio Brown, who was arrested in Dubai and extradited to the United States on a second-degree murder charge. I say 'moment of silence' because I can't think of anyone who has anything good to say about him.
"Hopefully, A.B. has a good lawyer, and hopefully, the 'run and gun defense' will work out well for him."
The Bengals had a Week 10 bye and are 3-6, two games behind the division-leading Steelers in the AFC North.
"We feel like we're still in the hunt for a playoff spot," Zac Taylor said, "in 2026."
Steelers win, 34-24.
L.A. Chargers @ Jacksonville (+2½)
The Chargers stymied Aaron Rodgers and the Pittsburgh offense, and Justin Herbert survived five sacks as Los Angeles beat the Steelers 25-10 on Sunday night at SoFi Stadium.
"We wanted to make Rodgers feel very uncomfortable," Jim Harbaugh said. "And we succeeded. We made him look like a 41-year-old quarterback. If you want to make Rodgers look old, one way to do it is to pressure him. Another way is to ask how many years it's been since he won a Super Bowl."
The Jaguars blew a 29-10 lead in the fourth quarter and ultimately lost 36-29 to the home-standing Texans. Trevor Lawrence was sacked 5 times and had 2 turnovers, as Jacksonville dropped to 5-4.
"When you lose a game you know you should have won," Liam Coen said, "it makes you sick to your stomach. So I guess what we did was like 'choking' on your own vomit."
Jags win, 23-20.
Seattle @ L.A. Rams (-2½)
Matthew Stafford passed for 4 touchdowns and Kyren Williams ran for 2 scores, as the Rams walloped the 49ers 42-26 at Levi's Stadium. Stafford leads the NFL with 25 touchdown passes, and the Rams are tied atop the NFC West with the Seahawks, both at 7-2.
"Age certainly can't stop Matthew," Sean McVay said. "He fears the 49ers about as much as he does '49,' which is not at all."
The Seahawks raced to a 35-0 first half lead, buoyed by 2 defensive touchdowns, and beat the Cardinals 44-22 in Seattle.
"It was so bad for the Cardinals," Sam Darnold said, "a lot of people thought Kyler Murray was in the game.
"Personally, I could have played much better. I had 3 turnovers. No, I wasn't 'seeing ghosts,' but I might have thought I was in a playoff game."
Seattle wins, 24-23.
San Francisco @ Arizona (+3)
The Seahawks jumped on the Cardinals early, building a 35-0 lead and cruising to 44-22 win at Lumen Field. Seattle returned two fumbles for touchdowns in the first half to put the game out of reach early.
"We've placed Kyler Murray on injured reserve," Jonathan Gannon said. "That's 'IR' for short. And that's 'Kyler is healthy enough to play, but we just don't want him to' for long."
Cardinals win, 24-22.
Baltimore @ Cleveland (+8½)
The Ravens beat the Vikings 27-19 at US Bank Stadium, led by a strong effort on defense. Lamar Jackson added a TD pass, and Tyler Loop kicked 4 field goals.
"A healthy Lamar has this Ravens' team playing like one of the best in the NFL," John Harbaugh said. "We informally call that the 'Status Crow.'"
The Browns lost 27-20 to the Jets at MetLife Stadium. Cleveland's defense limited the Jets on offense, but two special teams scores by New York turned the tide.
"Our offense is struggling," Kevin Stefanski said, "and our defense is asked to do way too much. Things look bleak. But football is just a game. There are more important things. So, I just thank God ... hat Desean Watson is long gone from this team."
Ravens win, 27-14.
Kansas City @ Denver (-2½)
The Broncos' offense did very little, but their defense did everything in a sloppy 10-7 Denver win over the visiting Raiders on Thursday night. While Bo Nix struggled with only 150 yards and 2 interceptions, the Broncos' defense sacked Geno Smith 6 times and held Las Vegas to just 188 total yards of offense.
"Bo has to be better," Sean Payton. "He has such great potential. Unfortunately, it's the potential to lose us a playoff game."
The Chiefs had a Week 10 bye and return with a 5-4 record. If the playoffs started today, the Chiefs would miss the playoffs.
"To hear the words 'the Chiefs are out of the playoffs' is strange to hear out loud," Andy Reid said. "Hearing those words is a lot like hearing Harrison Butker's views on gender roles — it just doesn't sound right."
Chiefs win, 22-20.
Detroit @ Philadelphia (-2½)
The Lions rebounded from their ugly 27-24 home loss to the Vikings in Week 9 with a resounding 44-22 win over the Commanders in D.C. Detroit piled up 546 yards of total offense, and Jamyr Gibbs had 172 total yards and 3 touchdowns.
"I took over play calling duties from offensive coordinator John Morton," Dan Campbell said. "That doesn't mean I'm not taking input from John. I am, but I'm just not listening to it."
The Eagles' defense did the dirty work, and their offense did just enough, as Philly beat the Packers 10-7 on Monday night at Lambeau Field.
"Jaelen Phillips really made an impact on defense in his first game as an Eagle," Nick Sirianni said. "He's a real team player. The ball wasn't thrown his way one single time, and he didn't pout at all."
Lions win, 28-27.
Dallas @ Las Vegas (+3)
The Cowboys had a Week 10 bye and are 3-5, second in the NFC East.
"The Cowboys and the Raiders are a combined 5-12," Dak Prescott said. "So this game may be more about the team owners than the actual teams. It's Jerry Jones vs. Mark Davis. It's the dumbest NFL owner vs. the dumbest-looking NFL owner. And who needs an extreme makeover more? The Raiders offense, or Mark Davis."
The Raiders scored a first-quarter touchdown but were blanked the rest of the way in a 10-7 loss to the Broncos in Denver.
"We're the forgotten team in the AFC West," Pete Carroll said. "Nobody's talking about us, nobody's writing about us. In fact, there's more 'ink' on Maxx Crosby than there is on us."
Raiders win, 35-31.
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