Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.
Carolina @ Tampa Bay (-2½)
The Panthers lost 27-10 to the visiting Seahawks, and now face the Buccaneers with the NFC South crown on the line.
"Much like the Buccaneers," Bryce Young said, "we're just looking to extend our season for one game. Because everybody and their mother knows that the winner of the NFC South is simply making a cameo in the playoffs.
"The winner of this game earns the right to represent the NFC South in the playoffs. I don't even know if that should be considered a 'right.' It's more like a 'wrong' that one of these two teams earns a home game."
Panthers win, 23-20.
Seattle @ San Francisco (+1½)
The Seahawks pulled away in the second half to beat the Panthers 27-10 at Bank of America Stadium. Zach Charbonnet rushed for 110 yards and 2 touchdowns, as Seattle improved to 13-3.
"When we run the ball successfully," Mike MacDonald said, "it takes so much pressure off of Sam Darnold. Unfortunately, we can't run the ball exclusively."
Brock Purdy threw for 5 TD passes for the second straight game, leading the 49ers to a 42-38 win over the visiting Bears on Sunday night. If San Fran beats the Seahawks, they would earn the NFC's No. 1 seed.
"Brock is white-hot," Kyle Shanahan said. "And if you've seen him celebrate a touchdown by doing the 'Dougie' dance, then you would say he's just white."
49ers win, 24-23.
New Orleans @ Atlanta (-3)
The Saints beat the Titans 34-26 in Tennessee and improved to 6-10 on the season. Rookie Tyler Shough passed for 333 yards and 2 touchdowns.
"Tyler is the real deal," Kellen Moore said. "If nothing else, he's made brown paper sacks in New Orleans obsolete. More importantly, he's made Spencer Rattler as our quarterback obsolete."
The Falcons shocked the Rams 27-24 at Mercedes-Benz Stadium on Monday night. Bijan Robinson ran wild with 229 total yards and 2 touchdowns.
"That victory may have very well saved my job," Raheem Morris said. "So it was a 'win-win' situation. Of course, that's depending on who you ask."
Saints win, 22-19.
NY Jets @ Buffalo (-7½)
The Bills lost 13-12 to the Eagles in Buffalo after a potential game-winning 2-point conversion try was unsuccessful. Depending on the outcome versus the Jets, and other factors, Buffalo could be the No. 5, 6, or 7 seed.
"By losing," Sean McDermott said, "we lost any chance of winning the AFC East. So, we've made our beds, now we're going to sleep in them. And speaking of 'sleep,' we could beat the Jets in our sleep."
The Patriots smashed the Jets 42-10 at MetLife Stadium as Drake Maye passed for 5 touchdowns. New York dropped to 3-13.
"I'm not going to say my team quit," Aaron Glenn said, "because that would not be accurate. We are just that bad.
"Luckily, I still have Jets' owner Woody Johnson's support. Woody has kindly agreed to write me glowing job recommendations for literally any other job."
Bills win, 30-13.
Detroit @ Chicago (-2½)
The Lions were eliminated from playoff contention after a 23-10 loss to the Vikings at US Bank Stadium on Christmas Day. Jared Goff had 5 turnovers, as Detroit dropped to 8-8.
"That was certainly not Jared's finest hour," Dan Campbell said. "In fact, it was possibly his worst three hours."
The Bears came up short in a 42-38 shootout loss to the 49ers at Levi's Stadium. Caleb Williams' fourth-down pass on the final play of the game fell incomplete, preserving San Fran's win.
"Our offense looked great," Ben Johnson said. "Our defense? Not so much. I have a feeling if Buddy Ryan witnessed that, he would not only roll over in his grave, he would rise from it, find me, and punch me in the face."
Bears win, 26-20.
Cleveland @ Cincinnati (-7½)
The Browns' defense kept the Steelers out of the end zone in a 13-6 win in the Dawg Pound.
"We don't mind playing the role of spoiler," Kevin Stefanski said. "It's a role we've been playing since late September. Apparently, it's a role we're much better at playing than that of contender."
Joe Burrow passed for 2 touchdowns, and Chase Brown rushed for 2 scores, as the Bengals whipped the visiting Cardinals, 37-14.
"For those of you who opine that I don't want to be in Cincinnati," Burrow said, "I scoff at you, and request that my favorite receiver, Ja'Marr Chase, spit in your general direction. And by 'general direction,' I mean 'in your face.'"
Bengals win, 23-19.
L.A. Chargers @ Denver (-12½)
The Chargers lost 20-16 to the Texans on Saturday at SoFi Stadium. The loss dropped L.A. to 11-5, and assured the Broncos of the AFC West crown. Los Angeles is basically locked into the No. 6 seed.
"We're planning on resting many of our starters," Jim Harbaugh said. "So, there's gonna be a lot of guys in street clothes standing on our sideline. So, if you want to plant a spy on my sideline, it might be a good time to do it."
Bo Nix passed for 1 touchdown and ran for another to lead the Broncos to a 20-13 win over the Chiefs in Kansas City on Christmas night. With the win, and the Chargers loss to the Texans on Saturday, Denver clinched the AFC West title. Denver would clinch the AFC's No. 1 seed with a win against the Chargers.
"I understand the Chargers are starting Trey Lance at quarterback," Sean Payton said. "I promise you, we won't take Trey Lance lightly. Consequently, we won't overrate Lance's talents, like the 49ers did when they drafted him."
Broncos win, 26-16.
Kansas City @ Las Vegas (+5)
The Chiefs lost 20-13 on Christmas night to the visiting Broncos.
"I can't speak for Travis," Andy Reid said, "but I want him to take all the time he needs to decide what he wants to do. Ultimately though, I think he will make a 'Swift' decision."
The visiting Giants crushed the Raiders 34-10 in Las Vegas.
"I guess the Giants wanted us to have the No. 1 pick in the draft," Pete Carroll said. "That makes sense, because if they're picking after us, they know the best player will still be available."
Chiefs win, 24-16.
Arizona @ L.A. Rams (-7)
The Cardinals lost 37-14 to the Bengals in Cincinnati. Arizona fell to 3-13.
"I said after the game," Jonathan Gannon said, "that I expect to return as head coach next season. What's troubling though, is that no one asked me if I expected to return."
The Falcons upset the Rams 27-24 at SoFi Stadium on Monday night. Matthew Stafford's 2 TD passes were offset by 3 interceptions, and L.A. fell to 11-5.
"I think we may have underestimated an NFC South opponent," Sean McVay said. "Not that you shouldn't underestimate an NFC South opponent; you absolutely should. But not until you meet one in the playoffs. Unfortunately, we may have just blown any chance of meeting one in the playoffs. That being said, 'Go Seahawks!"
Rams win, 24-21.
Green Bay @ Minnesota (-6½)
With Jordan Love out with injury, the Packers lost 41-24 to the visiting Ravens. Derrick Henry destroyed Green Bay on the ground with 216 yards and 4 touchdowns.
"I guess you could say we 'bent the knee' to 'King Henry,'" Matt Lafleur said. "And, you could say he 'bent us over his knee.' You could also say he just 'bent us over.' And, you could call our defense a 'bend and break' defense."
The Vikings defense dominated in a 23-10 win over the Lions on Christmas day. Minnesota forced 5 Jared Goff turnovers
"Those 5 turnovers were crucial," Kevin O'Connell said. "Without those, Max Brosmer wouldn't have been able to throw for 3 net passing yards and still call himself the winning quarterback.
"But I believe Max has a great future. But I would be very hard-pressed to add 'as an NFL quarterback' to that statement."
Vikings win, 27-24.
Tennessee @ Jacksonville (-11)
Trevor Lawrence rushed for 2 touchdowns and the Jaguars beat Philip Rivers and the Colts 23-17 to move one step closer to the AFC South title.
"First of all," Lawrence said, "let's give a shoutout to Rivers. I know it would have been a great story had he led the Colts to the playoffs, with the headline likely reading 'Berth Control.'"
Jags win, 30-19.
Miami @ New England (-11½)
The Patriots walloped the Jets 42-10 at MetLife Stadium. Drake Maye had 5 touchdown passes in less than three quarters of playing time.
"'Three quarters' is the approximate value of the Jets' defense," Mike Vrabel said.
"If we beat the Dolphins, and the Broncos lose to the Chargers, we would take the No. 1 seed in the AFC. So, we're playing our starters and intend to come out strong against Miami. We want to put them away early. In other words, we want to take all the drama out. Of course, Stephon Diggs will likely put the drama right back in."
Quinn Ewers passed for 2 touchdowns, and the Dolphins' defense forced 3 Baker Mayfield turnovers, as Miami knocked off the visiting Buccaneers, 20-17.
"If we can't make the playoffs," Mike McDaniel said, "then we're going to try our best to keep other teams from making the playoffs. But make no mistake, we're better at keeping ourselves out of the playoffs."
Patriots win, 31-17.
Indianapolis @ Houston (-10)
The Texans' defense sacked Justin Herbert 5 times, and C.J. Stroud struck for 2 long TD passes early, as Houston knocked off the Chargers 20-16 at SoFi Stadium.
"We would need the Titans to beat the Jaguars," DeMeco Ryans said, "and beat the Colts to win the AFC South. Or, we could just chill and accept the No. 5 seed, which would entail a trip for a first-round game to the home of the AFC North winner, also known as a 'vacation.'"
Texans win, 31-17.
Dallas @ NY Giants (+3½)
Dak Prescott passed for 307 yards and 2 touchdowns to lead the Cowboys to a 30-23 win over the Commanders on Christmas day.
"That was a quintessential Cowboys' game," Prescott said. "That is, it took place in December, and meant nothing."
The Giants hammered the Raiders 34-10 in Las Vegas. The loss gave the Raiders the inside track for the No. 1 pick in the 2026 NFL draft, while the Giants currently sit in the No. 2 position.
"Obviously," Mike Kafka said, "sitting is the correct position for 'No. 2.' That being said, our season has really been a 16-game trip down the toilet."
Giants win, 30-27.
Washington @ Philadelphia (-7½)
The Eagles scored 13 first-half points, and their defense made that hold up in a 13-12 Philly win over the Bills in Buffalo. A failed Buffalo 2-point conversion attempt preserved the win for the Eagles.
"We ask our defense to do a lot," Nick Sirianni said. "And I often ask our offense to do very little. Sometimes, when I ask the offense to do more, they still do very little."
Eagles win, 27-16.
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh (+3½)
Derrick Henry rushed for 216 yards and 4 touchdowns, as the visiting Ravens spanked the Packers 41-24 at Lambeau Field on Saturday night.
"Derrick was just incredible," John Harbaugh said. "With every successive TD run, I felt more and more confident of victory, while simultaneously feeling more and more foolish for benching Derrick the previous week against the Patriots."
With their fate in their own hands, the Steelers faltered in a 13-6 loss to the Browns in Cleveland. The loss set up a winner-take-all battle with the Ravens, with the victor taking the AFC North title.
"We had our chances," Mike Tomlin said. "And every one of those chances was Aaron Rodgers throwing in the general direction of Marques Valdez-Scantling. And to think, people had the nerve a few weeks ago to call for my firing. Those people are looking pretty smart now."
Steelers win, 25-22.
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