* As I write this, USA just lost to Belgium. I'm sad about that, it seemed like we were poised to at least match our best-ever modern times result at a World Cup (quarterfinals, 2002).
But I won't miss the Flo Balogun discourse. In case you missed it, Balogun got a questionable red card in the round of 32 match against Bosnia. It was the most egregious, worst sporting decision by a referee or sports governing body ever (source: my Twitter feed).
Then, the 1-game suspension that typically follows a red was overturned by FIFA, and that replaced the initial red card as the most egregious, worst sporting decision by a referee or sports governing body ever (source: my Twitter feed).
Can we all just calm TF down? Are we all only capable of expressing ourselves in hyperbole? Worse, I don't think it's even hyperbole to these screechers; they are having a huge reaction at every new twist and turn of the sporting world, the political sphere, and possibly their personal lives too, like big dumb babies reacting to a new set of colorful plastic keys being dangled in their face (except with rage instead of delight).
Sports should be fun. If it's no longer fun for you, don't ruin it for the rest of us with your bawling. And no, there is no conspiracy or rigging going on against your team. Don't get too high during the highs and don't get too low during the lows. You'll live years longer that way.
* So that's one type of World Cup fan I can't stand. The other is the narcissist who things he understands enough about a sport to improve upon it after watching three games.
I'm sure I'm written this in this space before, but it bears repeating every World Cup when new people start watching: you just saw an awesome breakaway goal called back after an offside call. You rage, saying "there should be no offside in soccer!"
What you're imagining is that, absent an offside goal, that goal would've counted. But you're wrong, or more precisely, that sequence would have never happened to begin with if there was no such thing as offside. The reason breakaways can exist to begin with is the defenders, protected the offside rule, can venture up the field. They wouldn't do that if there was no offside rule. They would park in the back by the goalkeeper, and there would no breakaway chances.
There's been a new wrinkle to this argument I've seen this year due to the advent of VAR. If a player is offside by just a hair, they rage too, basically arguing for some sort of nebulous "if it's close enough, let the goal stand."
In a way, this is even dumber than the no-offside take, because it betrays that the proponent doesn't understand that you have to draw the line somewhere, and that line can go a millimeter one way or the other.
What's funny is, we completely accept this in (American) football. No one is arguing that a ball carrier a whisker short of a first down — or touchdown — should be given to him because it's close enough. This is because we're used to it in football — we are not used to it in soccer (which we may not even watch except for every few years) and we are also not used to it in baseball with the new strike zone challenge system, and I see the same dumb point about that, too).
Bringing this back to soccer, I suggest you keep any "suggestions for making it better" thoughts to yourself until you watch until you've watched a sport for 200 games.
I expose myself to new sports a lot, and I write about them here. Netball. Candlepin bowling. Ski Mountaineering. I hope that I have never suggested new rules for these or any other sports before fully understanding them deeply. If I did, I sincerely repent and I will never do so again.
* Now that we are down to the quarterfinals, there are sadly not many Cinderellas left if you, like me, are disinclined to root for the big teams. There's Norway, who has already made it farther in this World Cup than they ever have before, but they don't feel like an underdog when they have Erling Haaland. There's Egypt, but they might have already lost by the time you read this, and even if they upset Argentina, I don't like their dictatorial president and I don't like their captain, Mohamed Salah. So with USA out, I guess I'm rooting for the winner of the last round-of-16 match, Colombia vs. Switzerland, to win it all.
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