Sports Gospel According to Mark

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Let’s End the Lance Armstrong Witch Hunt

Sports PhotoWhy is the witch hunt coming after Lance Armstrong? Evidence that Armstrong is a doper is mounting and the accusations are flying after SI broke a story full of growing evidence, but still lacking the smoking gun. Complete Story

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This Joe Paterno Thing Has Gone on Long Enough

Sports PhotoIt’s 2011 and Joe Paterno is still a coach of a major program. The man is 84-years-old and isn’t talking about retirement. He’s a legend and deserves to go out on his own terms, but shouldn’t those terms be defined by now? Is he going to coach until he dies? Complete Story

Parker Needs More Style When He Cheats

Sports PhotoA year ago, Tiger Woods wrote the book on cheating on your wife. This Thanksgiving, another high-profile athlete marriage is in shambles, although this one is boring. If cheating on your wife is going to be this uninspired, then what’s the point? Complete Story

Someone Tell Joakim Noah to Shut Up

Sports PhotoJoakim Noah is the latest to call Kevin Garnett a “mean” player. He also called Garnett ugly. Which, coming from the ugliest man alive, is simply a bad idea. There is no rule that players have to be friends with each other and frankly, it’s better when they aren’t. Complete Story

How Impressive is Brett Favre’s Penis … on a Resume?

Sports PhotoBrett Favre’s penis is a big deal. It didn’t used to be, but that was before he allegedly took pictures of it and sent it to a female co-worker. Now one enterprising young television personality may be riding Brett Favre’s penis all the way to the top. Complete Story

Picture This

Sports PhotoThere are a few golden rules for any journalist that aren’t negotiable. No cheering in the press box. No staring at athletes’ junk in the locker room. And no asking players for autographs. The last rule was recently broken in Miami and that has SC’s Mark Chalifoux pissed off. Complete Story

Fortune Cookies For Sports Figures

Sports PhotoForget chimps that can pick football winners or an octopus that can predict the World Cup. The only way to find out what will really happen to beloved sports figures is to go to the source of future information everyone trusts: fortune cookies. Complete Story

Lance Stephenson Needs to Step His Game Up

Sports PhotoProfessional athletes occasionally run afoul of the law. It happens. But when it happens in a way that’s so despicable, it cannot be ignored. One of the newest Indiana Pacers, Lance Stephenson, joined that club when he allegedly pushed his girlfriend down a flight of steps. Complete Story

Favre’s Sexting Pathetic For All the Wrong Reasons

Sports PhotoBrett Favre caused an Internet firestorm due to allegations that he sexted a former team employee. That’s discouraging. Not because he hit on a younger, attractive woman — that’s expected by pro athletes. What’s discouraging, and pathetic, is that he’s clearly doing this to look hip. Complete Story

Time to Tap Out, Cleveland

Sports PhotoCome on, Cleveland fans. You don’t need to take this. Just start supporting musical theater or pick a new team or a new sport. This has gone far enough and soon, it won’t even be fun anymore, says SC’s Mark Chalifoux in the latest Sports Gospel. Complete Story

More Sports Gospel According to Mark Commentary

06.25.10 Why Does World Cup End Badly For Women? By Mark Chalifoux
06.11.10 English Ladies, Keep Your Hands Up, it’s World Cup Time By Mark Chalifoux
05.27.10 The New Rules of Being a Sports Fan By Mark Chalifoux
05.13.10 Green Power Ranger … MMA Fighter? By Mark Chalifoux
04.15.10 Surprise! Another Erin Andrews Hatchet Job By Mark Chalifoux
04.01.10 Let’s Keep WWE Contained in a Wrestling Ring By Mark Chalifoux
03.18.10 The Miracle on Ice, or the Miracle Game of Beer Pong By Mark Chalifoux
02.19.10 Tony Kornheiser, “Come On” Yourself! By Mark Chalifoux
02.04.10 NCAA Tournament Expansion? No! By Mark Chalifoux
01.21.10 Just What Sports Needs, More Racism! By Mark Chalifoux
01.07.10 Dolphins Fans Get What They Deserve By Mark Chalifoux
12.10.09 Rick Reilly Eats Babies By Mark Chalifoux
12.05.09 Tiger is Still Better Than You By Mark Chalifoux

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