Foul Territory: Gold Medals, Family Jewels

* Ego Trip, or Westward, Ho' — The Lakers acquired Dwight Howard from the Magic in a four-team trade. Many in the NBA were surprised by the deal, but none more than Kobe Bryant, who swore he's never play with a former Magic center again.

* They're Playing For Medals, and Jewels, or London Balling, or Carmelo-Blow — Carmelo Anthony said the cheap shot in the groin by Argentina's Facundo Campazzo in the United States' 126-97 win on Monday was "uncalled for." For safety, players are expected to wear athletic supporters in what are sure to be physical contests, making this international competition less like the Olympics and more like a "World Cup."

* I Don't Believe What "Usain," or "Jamaica Fool of Yourself" — Tennessee Titans running back Chris Johnson said he could "probably" beat Olympic sprint king Usain Bolt in the 40-meter dash. If the race happened to take place, win or lose, Johnson would likely have his longest run of the year.

* He's "Lying" in Wait, or Bonds Can't Help But Be "Big-headed" About It — Barry Bonds said there's "not a doubt" that he belongs in the Baseball Hall of Fame in an interview with The interview was an unusual one for Bonds, in that it didn't take place under oath.

* Brown and Reserve — The Browns named rookie Brandon Weeden their starting quarterback, leaving incumbent Colt McCoy to battle for the backup role. It seems McCoy was a casualty of the "Weeden out" process.

* It's Just What the World Needs: Another Woman Telling a Man What He's Done Wrong, or Luckily For Her, Vertical Stripes Have a Slimming Effect — Shannon Eastin became the first female to officiate an NFL game when she served as line judge for Thursday's Packers/Chargers preseason game. Eastin made no major mistakes, something that differentiated her even more from her male counterparts.

* 12th Man, Meet 5th Wheel, or Qwest-ion Mark? — The Seattle Seahawks signed Terrell Owens to a one-year, $1 million contract on Monday, leading to much excitement among the Seahawks' faithful. Owens said he "appreciates the support," a sentiment that was echoed by his babies' mommas.

* They're Betting You'll Want to Watch, if This Show Fails, it May Be the Only "Bust" Pete Rose GetsTLC will air a reality show starring baseball great and Hall of Fame pariah Pete Rose and his model fiancée Kiana Kim, who has posed for Playboy. While no one has yet to see Rose's, everyone's seen Kim's "bust."

* Let's Hope the Jets Show This Kind of Fight Come December, or He's Lost More Patience Than Weight — Rex Ryan stopped practiced and punished his team with wind sprints this week after players brawled for the second day in a row. It was likely the first time Ryan ever put a foot down.

* Totally Beachin' — Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings beat fellow Americans Jennifer Kessy and April Ross on Wednesday to win the beach volleyball gold medal. The duo has now won gold in Athens, Beijing, and London, meaning they've got gold in places we can only dream about, as well as sand.

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