The Nick Saban Urban Dictionary

Alabama — place where you see flags flying on front porches, often national championship banners.

Assume — something that makes an ass out of just you

Beano Cook — chef specializing in bean dishes

Bobby Petrino — a semi-serious disaster; not quite a train wreck; more like a motorcycle wreck

Coaching tree — diagram showing coaches who worked under and were shaped by a particular coach. For example, Steve Sarkisian just became part of Nick Saban's coaching tree, so Saban is another thing Sarkisian is under the influence of.

Crimson Tide — laundry detergent used by Saban to wash his hands and clothes of the Miami Dolphins

Dabo — shipping business verb meaning to "put your hands on a package"

Discuss — chew out

FAU — second-rate university in Florida, not to be confused with the University of Florida

Fiesta Bowl — major bowl game, or Mexican-themed marijuana party

Fluke — a loss

Jet sweep — what would happen if Saban returned to coach the Dolphins

Jordan-Hare Stadium — inferiority complex

Kick 6 — shot to the groin that is three times worse than usual

Lane Kiffin — offensive coordinator who is adept at running and passing, but is terrible at "walking"

Les Miles — unit of distance; once used to measure the discrepancy in success between Alabama and LSU

Paul Finebaum — the eyes and ears (mostly ears) of SEC journalism

Minor marijuana offense — the most-easily defendable offense at Alabama.

Mutually agree — Nick Saban decided

Ole Miss — ex-wife

Sarkisian — An alcoholic beverage consisting of 18 parts beer and one part booster club meeting

The U — school identified by one letter, where players are identified by one fingerprint

Urban Meyerthe Ohio State bologna that has a first name, it's U-R-B-A-N

Vacated Victory — celebrating a win with a trip to the NCAA headquarters infractions office

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