The Nick Saban Urban Dictionary
January 9, 2017 by Jeffrey Boswell • Print Story •
Alabama — place where you see flags flying on front porches, often national championship banners.
Assume — something that makes an ass out of just you
Beano Cook — chef specializing in bean dishes
Bobby Petrino — a semi-serious disaster; not quite a train wreck; more like a motorcycle wreck
Coaching tree — diagram showing coaches who worked under and were shaped by a particular coach. For example, Steve Sarkisian just became part of Nick Saban's coaching tree, so Saban is another thing Sarkisian is under the influence of.
Crimson Tide — laundry detergent used by Saban to wash his hands and clothes of the Miami Dolphins
Dabo — shipping business verb meaning to "put your hands on a package"
Discuss — chew out
FAU — second-rate university in Florida, not to be confused with the University of Florida
Fiesta Bowl — major bowl game, or Mexican-themed marijuana party
Fluke — a loss
Jet sweep — what would happen if Saban returned to coach the Dolphins
Jordan-Hare Stadium — inferiority complex
Kick 6 — shot to the groin that is three times worse than usual
Lane Kiffin — offensive coordinator who is adept at running and passing, but is terrible at "walking"
Les Miles — unit of distance; once used to measure the discrepancy in success between Alabama and LSU
Paul Finebaum — the eyes and ears (mostly ears) of SEC journalism
Minor marijuana offense — the most-easily defendable offense at Alabama.
Mutually agree — Nick Saban decided
Ole Miss — ex-wife
Sarkisian — An alcoholic beverage consisting of 18 parts beer and one part booster club meeting
The U — school identified by one letter, where players are identified by one fingerprint
Urban Meyer — the Ohio State bologna that has a first name, it's U-R-B-A-N
Vacated Victory — celebrating a win with a trip to the NCAA headquarters infractions office