Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Jeff Burton — A flat tire on the race's final restart cost Burton a lap and nearly all of his points lead as he finished 27th at Talladega. Burton entered the race with a 69-point lead; he leaves with only six points separating he and second-place Matt Kenseth.
"I guess it could have been worse," says Burton. "I could have been in front of Brian Vickers. If he treats a teammate like that, God only knows what he'd do to a non-teammate. So they banned him from Hendrick meetings, huh? Looks like the divorce just got messier."
2. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth lead 21 laps on his way to an incident-free fourth-place finish at Talladega, and closed the gap on points leader Jeff Burton to six points. Kenseth now trails Burton by merely six points.
"I'm totally content to sit back and let flat tires and teammates-wrecking-teammates pave my way to the title," says Kenseth. "Through all the smoke, debris, sheet metal parts, and tire scraps, the view was great."
3. Kevin Harvick — Harvick overcame a wreck midway through Sunday's UAW-Ford 500 at Talladega, then made it through the last-lap carnage to score a sixth-place finish. He moves up one spot in the standings to fourth, and is only 33 behind Jeff Burton.
"My teammates and I have a standing agreement," says Harvick. "If one of us wrecks the other for a win, then we fight. But the point is moot. I would never even think of wrecking a teammate for the win. I wouldn't think, I'd just do it."
4. Mark Martin — Martin finished eighth at Talladega and led two laps to remain fourth in the points, where he trails Jeff Burton by 10 points.
"The lead changed at Talladega about as much as mind has changed about retirement," says Martin. "Currently, I've agreed to drive a limited schedule for MB2 Motorsports next year. Check with me next week to see if that is still the plan."
5. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin fell three places in the points, but actually cut 18 points off of Burton's points lead. Hamlin was involved in two crashes on Sunday, but still salvaged a 21st-place finish to stay in the hunt.
"It wasn't a good day for teammate-to-teammate relations," says Hamlin. "First, David Stremme starts a crash that spins my teammate J.J. Yeley, who collects my other teammate, Tony Stewart, and myself. Then, there was some minor incident at the end of the race with Brian Vickers and Jimmie Johnson."
6. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Leading on the final lap, Earnhardt was sent spinning when Brian Vickers bumped second-place Jimmie Johnson, sending the No. 48 into Earnhardt's No. 8. As Vickers raced to his first Nextel Cup win, Earnhardt and Johnson ended up in the infield grass, with a newfound hatred for Vickers.
"How's that for a 'Wrangler Five-Star Finish?'" says Earnhardt. "Actually, I don't fault Brian at all. I do fault my fans for tossing beer cans at Brian's car. Therefore, I must make a plea to all fans of the No. 8 Chevrolet: please recycle."
7. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson was in position for a finish of no worse than second when he dove underneath race leader Dale Earnhardt, Jr. He was bumped from behind by teammate Brian Vickers and sent into Earnhardt, and both spun to the infield. Vickers went on to win; Johnson finished 24th.
"Let me make a prediction for the 2007 season opener in Daytona," says Johnson. "Brian Vickers won't finish the race, Team Red Bull will be working overtime in the garage, and I'll be in Mike Helton's office afterwards."
8. Jeff Gordon — With 50 laps to go, Gordon was sucked into a wreck triggered by contact between Carl Edwards and Joe Nemechek. Gordon went quickly from a favorite to a 36th-place finish that all but ended his title hopes. He is now 147 out of first. Gordon vented his frustration by criticizing Dale Earnhardt, Jr.'s bump-drafting technique.
"When in doubt, blame someone besides yourself," says Gordon, "just like in politics. Of course, it was great when Little E was bump-drafting me into the lead. Maybe that's why I'm blaming him; he wasn't behind me enough."
9. Kasey Kahne — Kahne navigated the last-lap shenanigans and brought home his best finish of the Chase so far, a second. Still, his deficit to the points leader is 185.
"The good news is," says Kahne, "I finished in front of everyone ahead of me in the points. The bad news is, everyone is ahead of me in the points."
10. Kyle Busch — It was an up-and-down day for Hendrick drivers. Up: Brian Vickers. Down: Jimmie Johnson, Jeff Gordon. Busch fell in the middle somewhere, finishing 11th at Talladega and leading 10 laps. He is 185 points behind points leader Jeff Burton.
"Our next drivers' meeting will be quite interesting," says Busch. "By the way, Jimmie's requested that Brian be allowed in the meetings. He's also asked that no one else be present, and the meeting to take place in an octagon-shaped room, preferably caged."
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