The Yankees, From A-to-Z

Another spurned deal. Another futile pursuit to bring the Big Unit to the Yankees. At the moment, you might wonder George Steinbrenner might be viewing Javier Vazquez as the Grinch who stole his Christmas present.

Worse still, you might think Vazquez would pay the price for his act of "disobedience" which would be to spend a month with the Boss at Tampa. That might make Abu Ghraib look like a saner place to stay.

Whatever the Boss might do to improve his team right now, one thing is as clear as a St. Gobain glass, it's been four years since the Yankees have won a World series title. Proof enough that money can't buy championships.

2004 turned out to be the worst year ever for a Yankee fan. The Yankees turned out to be the biggest chokers ever in sporting history and saw their bitter nemesis, the Red Sox, clinch the World Series crown, ending the title drought at 86 years.

Here we try to encapsulate the woebegone pursuit that the Yankees undertook in 2004 in an A-to-Z format. Sit back and enjoy.

A - Acrobat (No, not the .pdf file, you geek. Remember Derek Jeter's dive into the stands in the Yankee Stadium.)

B - Bullpen (No explanation required.)

C - Clutch hitting (Or lack thereof.)

D - Dented wall (Thanks to Kevin Brown, the Stadium tour has got a new facelift.)

E - Eternity (Yes, in Yankees parlance, four title-less seasons seem to be an era.)

F - Front office (Steinbrenner's favorite punching bag.)

G - Giambi (That's a cuss word now on 161st street.)

H - Humiliating (One word that could surmise the 2004 Yankees campaign.)

I - Indians (A team that scares the Yankees to death. Remember the scoreline?)

J - Japan (The Land of the Rising Sun played host to the Yankees' season-opener.)

K - Karate Kid (A-Rod's rise to infamy.)

L - Lacking (The Yankees lacked cohesion, camaraderie, and commitment.)

M - Mitt Sandwich (Presume that won't be served during Christmas at A-Rod's.)

N - NYPD (The ALCS encounter against the Red Sox was so intense that the fans got into the act and riot police had to be pressed into service at the Stadium.)

O - One Hundred and Eighty-Three Million Dollars (No that's not the GDP of some third-world country. It was the Yankees' payroll the last time we checked. Trust me, it's sure to shoot up.)

P - Pee cup (Gary Sheffield gave the fourth estate a new role. He wanted the hacks to hop between the laboratory and lavatory.)

Q - Quincy Market (Heck, can't find anything to fit. Hence, Boston's landmark finds a place in the Yankees' list, just to add insult to injury, you see.)

R - Red Sox (Two words that infuriate the Boss more than WMD for George Bush.)

S - Scott Boras Syndrome (The Yankees seem to dance to Mr. Boras' tunes.)

T - Triumphing in Tragedy (Mariano Rivera's selfless act. His pitching in Game 1 of the ALCS hours after attending the funeral of his two close relatives at Panama.)

U - Urban Legend (Synonym for curse.)

V - Victor Conte (The BALCO honcho had his shadow in the Yankees clubhouse, too.)

W - Who's Your Daddy? (When it involves the best rivalry in sports, the fans sometimes come up with innovative stuff.)

X - X-Factor (That's the Boss himself. He continues to remain a puzzle, even to his cohorts.)

Y - Yankees Yanked (Another form of expression to the Bombers bombed.)

Z - Zzzz. (It's time to put the misfortunes of the past to sleep.)

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