World Cup Fever, Anyone?

So I'm sitting here watching the Telemundo the live broadcast of Mexico at Panama in a World Cup qualifier with one eye and looking at my computer monitor with the other. I don't speak Spanish, but I know that any shouts of GOOOOL will cue me to take my eyes off of the computer screen and on to the TV screen.

Since football season is over, college basketball season is nearly over, and I won't watch the NBA because of the showboats or MLB because of the steroids (just kidding — I pride myself on not being one of those grandstanding, self-righteous blowhards — but the NBA and MLB do bore me more than they used to for some reason), I'm finding soccer is filling the void quite nicely. Particularly, I'm enjoying the high-stakes game of world cup qualifying.

So, just as with any sport, when I get interested, I pull out all the stops; I've watched four or five Cup qualifiers (thoughts below), have four or five more TiVo'd, and will watch or TiVo four or five more still before the weekend is out.

Most notably, I unleashed my patriotism watching the United States play Mexico in Mexico City. A factoid appearing in Sports Illustrated piqued my interest: when ever the United States plays Mexico in a soccer match of import, the Mexicans invariably schedule the game in Mexico City. Why not? The altitude is high (thin air) and the heat is scorching; think of the worst of Denver combined with the worst of Tucson. Not surprisingly, the U.S. has not won in Mexico City in 25 years.

The U.S. Soccer Federation (USSF) has attempted to seek respite from Mexico City and appeal to the Mexican soccer authority's humanity. There's a standing offer from the United States that states if Mexico agrees to play their home games against the U.S. in the climate-friendly city of Monterrey, then the U.S. will schedule their home matches against Mexico in Los Angeles, where the Mexican fans outnumber the U.S. fans 10-to-1. What a travesty! If those ungrateful nogoodniks don't start showing some gratitude and root for the country that saved them from poverty and despair ... just kidding again.

Anyway, the Mexicans will not take the USSF up on the offer, so the USSF responds by scheduling their home games against Mexico in the coldest places logistically possible, and the U.S.' recent home record against Mexico is just as impressive as the other way around. That's a rivalry.

And the beat goes on. The United States was game, but lost 2-1 in a match not really as close as the score indicated. The Mexicans played much more aggressively (at one point, Mexico had nine offside calls against them while the U.S. had none), and simply attacked. Every time a U.S. player touched the ball, he seemed to have the weight of the 25-year, winless-in-Mexico City streak on his shoulders. When the U.S. did score, my fist-pump reaction surprised me. Of course, I wanted the United States to win, but usually when my team gives me reason to cheer, I am demonstrative in a cheerful way. My reaction to the U.S. scoring was more steely and cold, like serious diplomatic concessions were on the line.

Eagle-eyed viewers may notice and wonder why I am not watching the U.S. take on Guatemala at present, which is playing out at the same time as Mexico vs. Panama. Again, I'm pulling out all the stops. I have another opportunity to catch the U.S. against Guatemala, at midnight on Telemundo. Not so for Mexico and Panama, so I only need to avoid the U.S./Guatemala score. I was successful in doing so during the first half, quickly looking away whenever a footer (or "crawl") started to take shape on the bottom of the screen. Then again, I am spending most of my time looking at the monitor, so that helps.

I may not be so lucky in the second half, but I like playing with fire. Not speaking Spanish helps. I heard the announcer say "Zero-Zero" at one point while scores were crawling across the bottom, but I didn't hear him say "Estados Unidos" or Guatemala. Maybe that's because I covered my ears for two minutes starting at the "Zero Zero" mark.

Guatemala, incidentally, should be at stern test to the U.S. They crushed a decent Trinidad & Tobago team 5-1 over the weekend, but the Yanks are playing at home this time.

The way World Cup qualifying is set up appeals to me. You've already figured out I'm not purist, but college sports teams joining a conference that is nowhere near them geographically always irritated me. That would never happen in World Cup soccer qualifying, where you might say the United States plays in the North American Conference (which the world soccer governing body, FIFA, calls CONCACAF ... you figure it out, or e-mail me if you really can't), and only a massive, apocalyptic, continental shift will change that. The United States is bound to Mexico and the rest by geography forevermore, and I like that. The conference has its strong foes (Mexico, Costa Rica) and its weak sisters (St. Kitts and Nevis, Belize, Canada), just like the rest of the world.

The other games I've watched have been compelling even if they were one-sided. I remember Scotland qualifying for the World Cup a couple of rotations ago, but now they dwell in the bottom of their pool in Europe and got handled by Italy, 2-0. Plenty of hooliganism (fires, riot police going at it full force with fans) to go around, but the band played on.

England, who somehow ended up in the same draw with two-thirds of the rest of the United Kingdom, took it to Northern Ireland 4-0, and they seem to have the next Pele in Wayne Rooney. Seriously. He's only 19, breaking all sort of "youngest ever" records for the English National team, and he made the sweetest move getting buy a defender - no point in trying to it - that I saw all week.

As for this Panama - Mexico game (in Panama City), every time I look up, it seems the Panamanians have the ball in Mexico's end, but the Mexican defenders seem noticeably faster than the Panamanian forwards, which probably isn't a good sign for Panama, and they trail 1-0.

Have I won you over to soccer yet? Don't answer that.

Thongchai Jaidee Update

If he would've won the Indonesian Open last week, which finished on the deadline for climbing into the top 50 in the world and an receiving an invite to the Masters, he probably would've gotten through. He did get within two of the lead halfway through the first round, but fell off the pace and tied for 11th.

He is currently ranked 65th in the world, which if he can hold or improve on over the next 11 months, that ranking will get him into the lucrative World Match Play Championship of 2006 (it's for the top 64 players, who duke it out March Madness-style, but there's always someone who can't or won't play, so those ranked around 65-68 always have a shot at getting in).

Congratulations are in order for his countryman, Thaworn Wiratchant, who did win (by five strokes, no less) and gives Thongchai a Thai partner on the European Tour trails. Speaking of trails, as Panama ties up the match on an incredible bicycle kick, happy ones to you until next time.