1. I just found a secret code that allows me to play the second best original Nintendo (NES) game ever (behind Tecmo Bowl) on a GameCube copy of Animal Crossings. I won't say specifically what it is, I'll just say that I don't remember Soda Popinski getting stronger as the rounds went on, King Hippo is still my favorite, and I still think Mr. Sandman is harder to beat than Tyson.
2. The only hockey game I ever played on NES was Blades of Steel. Do they still make hockey games where you are supposed to win the fights?
3. Skip this part if you want, I have to tell you about my greatest NFL Blitz victory ever, nay, my greatest video game accomplishment ever. Just recall that in NFL Blitz 2000, you have to get across the 50 to attempt a field goal. I'm up 19-14. My buddy Arik scores a go-ahead touchdown with :30 left. I get the ball back and drive close to midfield, but my drive stalls with eight seconds left at my own 46. So Arik takes over at my 46 and right away goes for a rub-it-in field goal, which he misses.
Now I have it back with :04 left, still at my own 46. I throw a quick slant which is caught by the receiver at Arik's 48 ... and I make my guy leap out of bounds. Did I get out in time? Yes! :01 left. Arik says, "Oh ... no." I kick the field goal. It donks off the right upright ... and bounces in. It's good. I win 22-21. Arik stares into space for about 15 minutes, slowly shaking his head. I am dancing and rattling off a long stream of trash-talk consciousness while he does. Not only did I win in the most exciting fashion imaginable, I got to punish hubris, too.
4. I'll be happy when technology gets to the point where the announcer can say the name of the player that you "created."
5. The fault of some sports video games (thankfully, less so as time and technology marches on), is that some of them have an exploitable glitch waiting to be discovered, and once you do, it's not really playable anymore. The most glaring example I can think of is one of the Maddens for Super Nintendo (this would've been sometime between 1994 and 1996).
My buddy and I discovered a way where you could recover your own onside kick every single time. So we had to stop playing. At first we discussed a rule where we would just never attempt an onside kick, but this seemed unfair to whomever would be forced to kick away, down by 2 with :20 left. We couldn't figure out a compromise. We should've used a die: roll a six, take your onside kick. Otherwise, kick away.
6. The first sports video game I remember getting excited about was Video Olympics for Atari 2600.
7. The first sports video game I remember getting disappointed by was Video Olympics for Atari 2600. Every game (hockey, track, basketball, etc) was a variation on pong. Seriously. No graphics to speak of, just sticks and dots.
8. I miss putting in a Nintendo game, watching it not load up, taking the game out, and blowing in the cartridge. The amateur diagnosis of an unplayable game was always, always dust. The solution was to blow into the cartridge, and jam it back into the console as far as possible. If that doesn't work, blow in it again and put it back in the console as shallowly as possible while still allowing it to latch.
9. Perhaps the most underrated sports game of all time (once again, I speak of NES) is Lunar Pool. Once you cleared a rack, you'd get a new table that was not necessarily rectangular or standard. The tables got crazier and crazier the higher up the ladder you went. If I become fabulously wealthy, I'm going to make the Lunar Pool tables a reality.
10. I played a lot of baseball games on all systems, and the toughest learning curve often surrounded switching controlled players, if it wasn't automatic. Until you could figure it out ... well, I'm hoping I'm not the only one who dejectedly had the catcher sprint out to the outfield to retrieve a bloop single that rolled to the wall.
11. Speaking of baseball games, I'm not remembering the titles of the games I recall fondly, but one was for NES and Mr. T was in the dugout (seriously) for some teams, and another game, I forget the system, had a team called the Paris Fries, and they had the league leading home run hitter, named "Abel." Can someone help me out with those? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
12. It's no Tiger Woods, but Mario Golf is surprisingly playable. Outlaw Golf is not.
13. I suck at fighting games. I never have the finger speed of my opponent, and by the time I try to do special moves ("let's see ... Z+L1+L1+hold X..."), my ass is on the ground.
14. People forget it because of the relative success of Pole Position, but the Atari 2600 auto racing game Enduro was definitely a forefather of today's racing games. I speak of the fact that you had to hold down the joystick button (remember, there was only one button on the Atari 2600 joystick) throughout the whole game. Your thumb would ache after awhile, so the name fit.
15. Sometime in the mid-'90s I wasted a month playing a FIFA soccer game, I forget which. But the announcer was delightful, and announced the "Man of the Match" after each game. One game, I discovered my opponent had a player named Dede, which the announcer pronounced as "dead." So, naturally, I started playing that team, made Dede score five goals, so I could hear the announcer say, "Here's the man of the match, dead!"
16. You've probably read about the Arena Football video games coming out, but c'mon, isn't NFL Blitz basically arena ball already? And is there a CFL video game? Note to self: Google "CFL video game" after you finish writing this.
17. I think the next frontier for sports games is the introduction of actual video into regular gameplay ... that is, your video game will not look any different than watching a game on television. How great will that be? In our lifetimes, I think.
18. Conversely, I would pay big bucks to make actual football games more like video games. Specifically, when Chris Simms throws a touchdown pass to Joey Galloway, I want Galloway to run across the end zone with his finger in the air, and then have the cameraman cut to Simms jump, raise his arms, and then pump his fist, while the lower half of the screen is black and says "TOUCHDOWN Joey Galloway" in white letters as the appropriate accompanying music plays. No post-game show, just a screen with statistics against a blue background while a chirpy but sad song plays. Yes, I want them to make a live NFL game, graphically, just like Tecmo Bowl. I can't be the only one.
19. I hope we are close to the point where not only do the college basketball games have all 330-odd Division 1 team, but gets all of their home courts just right. It seems like they just slap the school logo in the middle of the court for some lesser schools. Do some homework. College football, too.
20. One joy that sports games offer that few others can is a level of absurd domination that allows you to accomplish the sublime. On my watch, Akron has won both the football and basketball national championships, and Kazakhstan has won the World Cup. Barry Sanders got 563 yards in a Tecmo Bowl game (it was only later a friend clued me in on Bo Jackson being capable of scoring on every play), and I got Merton Hanks 17 interceptions in a game.
Every time I got the ball, I punted on first down so that I would stay on defense. I would also go down right away on each interception so as to not risk a touchdown and hence waste time with mandatory kicking plays. I won 7-0, letting Hanks finally run it in on the last play of the game. I don't know why I didn't let it go to overtime.
21. If your game allows you to make unbalanced trades, and you pull one of those stunts like trading Danny Wuerffel for Michael Strahan, Tom Brady, Shaun Alexander and Chad Johnson, you are not a man.*
* Exempt if you do it to accomplish an absurd record as described in item 20.
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