— Mike Nolan's San Francisco 49ers remarkably win the NFC West, the NFL's most balanced division, by a staggering four-game cushion. Even more remarkably, they win it with a 6-10 record.
— In the second quarter of the season opener versus the Jets, the Patriots Tom Brady hits Randy Moss with a four-yard touchdown pass for the first of nine touchdown connections between the two on the year. Brady and Moss even become good friends off the field, as Brady and supermodel girlfriend Giselle Bundchen introduce Moss to Tyra Banks. The couples double-date often, and in late October, are spotted on the beach at Martha's Vineyard, where Moss and Brady diagram a pass route on Banks' spacious forehead.
— Cincinnati receiver Chris Henry, serving jail time after being charged with larceny for stealing candy from a baby, nearly succeeds in a daring attempt to escape in a truck delivering laundry to an off-site facility. However, Henry's escape is foiled when the drunk truck driver crashes into a utility pole while swerving to miss a motorcycle driven by a helmet-less Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who was visiting the correctional facility in order to scout the Bengals. Roethlisberger is unhurt, but Henry receives three consecutive lifetime suspensions.
— Upon losing his appeal to his 16-game suspension for conduct detrimental to the league, the Titans' Pacman Jones is further discouraged by the success of the reunion tour of his least-favorite musical artist of all-time, The Police.
— Cleveland's free agent acquisition Jamal Lewis rushes for 289 yards and two touchdowns on the season, less than the 295 and two TDs he rushed for against the Browns in his record-setting game in 2003.
— At London's Wembley Stadium on October 28th, the Dolphins shut out the Giants 15-0 behind five Jay Feely field goals. The following day, in The Observer's recap of the game, titled "Fish And Zips," columnist Jamie Jackson decries the play in goal for the Giants, and wonders if a team has ever scored on five consecutive free kicks.
— Chicago's Terry "Tank" Johnson, after serving a four-game suspension for conduct detrimental to the NFL, vows never to run afoul of the law again. However, when Johnson promises to "unload" all his weapons, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell suspends him for four more games. After serving that suspension, Johnson pledges that he has learned his lesson, and proves it by having both arms amputated, making good on his promise to Goodell to never be armed again.
— The half-time entertainment at Super Bowl XLII in Arizona features the return of Britney Spears in her first major concert in five years. Spears is joined on stage by R&B heartthrob Usher, and the two stun a Super Bowl and television audience when Usher rips off Spears silver lamé chaps, revealing that Spears is still, in fact, bald.
— Michael Vick, dogged by allegations that he was involved in a pit bull fighting scandal in his home state of Virginia, volunteers to do public service announcements condemning animal cruelty. Unfortunately, the ads, directed by Vick's own production company, based in Smithfield, Virginia and supervised by one of his cousins, show Vick delivering the announcements from a bull fighting ring in Madrid, Spain and a cock fighting arena in Valle de Chalco, Mexico. An embarrassed Vick is admonished by the commissioner's office, but the videos receive two thumbs up from the Redskins' Clinton Portis and Chris Samuels.
— After having failed yet another drug test, former Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams announces his retirement from football for good. "THC-ya," says a tearful Williams, who admits that he has an uncontrollable addiction that has cost him dearly in his athletic endeavors. Williams says he regrets that his addiction has caused him to lose much of what he has worked for, but is happy to say that "luckily, you can fail a drug test and still maintain your subscription to High Times magazine, as well as appear on the cover on occasion, or in the personal ads."
— In the NFL's season opener on September 6th, the Colts open defense of their Super Bowl championship with a 31-27 home loss to the Saints. The game makes history, not because of anything that happens on the field, but because Colts quarterback Peyton Manning appears in every single commercial aired during the broadcast.
— The NFL Network, in an effort to capitalize on the reality show craze, premiers a program starring eight Cincinnati Bengals living under one roof. The show, titled The Legal Pad and hosted by attorney-turned-sex kitten "Legal Tender," offers $50,000 to the last remaining Bengal who has successfully completed challenges such as "drunk drive home," "conceal your weapon," and "eat your marijuana" without being arrested.
— Following a season of model behavior, Randy Moss finally drops the big one in the AFC Championship Game in Foxboro's snow-covered Gillette Stadium when, after an 85-yard touchdown reception to open the scoring, the controversial receiver celebrates by making a "yellow snow angel" in the snow. No one is more offended than LaDainian Tomlinson of the visiting Chargers, who rushes for 145 yards on 32 carries and two touchdowns to lead San Diego to a 27-21 upset over the top-seeded Patriots. The Chargers avenge a Week 2 defeat, as well as last year's home loss to the Pats in the AFC divisional playoffs. Two weeks later, San Diego beats Dallas 26-20 to win Super Bowl XLII.
— In the wake of the Cardinals' 0-4 start, Arizona president William Bidwell defends the team's decision to fire Dennis Green after 2006's 5-11 season. "Dennis Green is who we thought he was, and we let him off the hook!" comments an angry Bidwell, who then storms out of the press conference.
— Minnesota running back Adrian Peterson is named the NFL's Offensive Rookie of the Year, and dedicates the award to Calvin Johnson, noting that "without the 'Matt Millen Curse,' Johnson would have won the award easily."
— Proof that commissioner Roger Goodell's new conduct policy is working, not a single player is arrested from September 1st through October 15th. Soon after, pigs fly, Hell freezes over, and New England coach Bill Belichick appears on the cover of GQ magazine's fall fashion preview.
— Despite the presence of offseason acquisitions Luke McCown and Jeff Garcia, Chris Simms easily wins the starting job at quarterback for the Buccaneers, and is praised by his teammates for his toughness. However, after practice one day in late August, Simms is caught dipping a bag of Bigelow tea into a mug of steaming hot water. Unaware that "teabagging" was taboo locker room behavior, Simms suffers the fate of an outcast, and is benched in favor of Garcia as starter in Week 7.
— St. Louis' Steven Jackson edges Baltimore's Willis McGahee for the NFL rushing title by three yards, 1,501 to 1,498.
— During the third quarter of NBC's September 23rd broadcast of Sunday Night Football, Al Michaels and John Madden welcome the Geico cavemen to the booth, there to plug their new sitcom, Stone Age Wasteland, schedule to premiere the following Tuesday. Michaels and Madden briefly turn over the broadcast to the cavemen, and, surprisingly, they do a good job, with one offering some groundbreaking insight into the psyche of Terrell Owens. Things later get awkward when Madden admits that the Madden Cruiser is insured by Geico.
— After Oakland quarterback Andrew Walter is sacked 16 times in the Raiders' first five games, coach Lane Kiffin makes a change, inserting 6'6," 255-pound JaMarcus Russell into the lineup, at left tackle.
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