Back to a full slate of games. Holiday rush. Bottle of Red Label to get me through. Go.
New England 56, Buffalo 10: I could play football against a team made up of my 13-month-old son and 10 of my daughter's dolls and not be any more dominant than the Pats were against the Bills. It was like the Nazis vs. the French or Britney Spears vs. a bottle of pain killers. The Bills had no chance. None. The only question was how it bad it was going to get.
And it could have been a lot worse.
Two thoughts that came to mind:
1. This is the best offensive line in football, even missing right guard Stephen Neal (replaced by Russ Hochstein). Buffalo's Chris Kelsay and Aaron Schobel were complete non-factors. That's saying something.
2. I wonder if somebody is going to try and pry away offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels. As the guy calling the plays for potentially the most prolific offense in history, he's got to get as much credit for the Pats' offensive success this year as Eric Mangini did for the Pats' defensive success two years ago. Neither was the architect, but McDaniels, like Mangini, is pulling all the perfect strings.
(The question is whether McDaniels would bite on an offer. Personally, I'd rather stick around for a few years to call plays for one of the greatest quarterbacks ever.)
Anyway, I feel bad for Buffalo. A Week 12 tilt at Jacksonville is no way to recover from that kind of beating. Happy freaking Thanksgiving.
(Seriously. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. Thanks for reading.)
Fantasy Impact: At least Laurence Maroney got a TD before he disappeared. The Pats should consider drafting Darren McFadden in April.
The Pats now have a 2.5-game edge in the race for home-field. Here's how the rest of the playoff picture looks:
AFC:
1. New England (10-0, AFC East)
2. Indianapolis (8-2; AFC South)
3. Pittsburgh (7-3, AFC North; the loss against the Jets may have cost them a bye)
4. San Diego (5-5; AFC West; based on head-to-head win over the Broncos; re-match in Week 16 in San Diego)
5. Jacksonville (7-3; should be a road favorite in the wild card round)
6. Tennessee (6-4; based on better strength of victory than the Browns)
7. Cleveland (6-4; Remaining schedule below; I like their chances)
8. Denver (5-5; beat the Bills based on a better conference record)
9. Buffalo (5-5; better conference record than Texans)
10. Houston (5-5)
NFC:
1. Dallas (9-1; NFC East; better conference record than Green Bay; the two play each other in Week 13)
2. Green Bay (9-1; NFC North)
3. Seattle (6-4; NFC West; won head-to-head over Tampa Bay in Week 1)
4. Tampa Bay (6-4; NFC South)
5. NY Giants (7-3)
6. Detroit (6-4; you can feel the collapse coming)
7. Washington (5-5; based on better conference record than Eagles, with whom they split the head-to-head series, and head-to-head win over Arizona)
8. Arizona (5-5; better conference record than Philadelphia)
9. Philadelphia (5-5)
10. Carolina (4-6; won head-to-head over New Orleans with a re-match this Sunday; better conference record than Minnesota)
Current top five picks in the draft:
1. Miami (0-10)
2. Oakland (2-8; .450 strength of schedule)
3. San Francisco (2-8; .460 strength of schedule; pick owned by New England)
4. St. Louis (2-8; .480 strength of schedule)
5. NY Jets (2-8; .510 strength of schedule)
Among the more critical games, Week 12 features Green Bay at Detroit on Thanksgiving, New Orleans at Carolina, Washington at Tampa Bay, Houston at Cleveland*, Baltimore at San Diego, and Denver at Chicago in what is essentially an elimination game for the 4-6 Bears. Check back next week for the updated picture.
* That's right. Houston at Cleveland in Week 12 has major playoff implications.**
**I love the NFL.
The rest of the week that was:
Cleveland 33, Baltimore 30: Don't look now, but the Browns could very well end up 12-4 and hosting a playoff game. Their final six: Houston, @Arizona, @NY Jets, Buffalo, @Cincinnati, San Francisco. 11-5 or 10-6 are more likely, but no less remarkable.
With that said, that defense still leaves something to be desired. Any time the Baltimore offense puts up more than 350 yards, the opposing defense is doing a lot of things wrong.
As for the Ravens, what a horrible way to lose a football game. It was the right call, but that doesn't make it any less gut wrenching. Blame has to go to the two officials who initially got the call wrong. How hard is it to miss a football kicked from 50 yards away bouncing off metal goalposts five feet from your head? I called it immediately and I was busy pinning down my son so he could take a breathing treatment he hates. They had one job: WATCH THE BALL GO THROUGH THE UPRIGHTS. ALL CAPS EXCLAMATION POINT!
Anyway, the rest of their schedule: @San Diego, New England, Indianapolis, @Miami, @Seattle, Pittsburgh. And to compound the issue, the Ravens have a terrible conference record (currently 1-6), likely costing them any chance at getting a playoff spot by tiebreaker. (Conference record is the second tiebreaker after head-to-head).
It's time for GM Ozzie Newsome to rebuild the offense under a different head coach.
Fantasy Impact: You have to love what Browns offensive coordinator Rob Chudzinski is doing with Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow. There are only four receiving duos with at least 100 receptions, 1,500 yards, and 10 TD:
T.J. Houshmandzadeh/Chad Johnson: 135 receptions, 1,744 yards (12.92 avg), 14 TD
Randy Moss/Wes Welker: 134 receptions, 1,781 yards (13.29 avg), 23 TD
Terrell Owens/Jason Witten: 113 receptions, 1,724 yards (15.26 avg), 17 TD
Edwards/Winslow: 103 receptions, 1,604 yards (15.57 avg), 14 TD
That's pretty good company (and another indication of just how pathetic the Bengals defense is. 3-7 with that kind of passing attack? Terrible.)
Jacksonville 24, San Diego 17: One of those games where you look at the score and say "yeah ... that's about right" and go on to other more interesting topics. The Jaguars are about a touchdown better than the Chargers, who are probably going to need the AFC West crown to make the playoffs. Luckily for them, nine wins probably gets it done. And the payoff is likely a re-match against the Jags at Qualcomm.
One note that needs to be mentioned: the Jags' punt and kick-off units did a great job of containing Darren Sproles. He only averaged 7.5 yards per kick-off return and 5.7 per punt return. Considering the impact Sproles had against the Colts, that's impressive work.
Fantasy Impact: On the bright side for San Diego, Philip Rivers did manage just his second 300-plus yard passing day of the season (309 to be exact). It was the first time he had even cracked 200 since Week 5.
Philadelphia 17, Miami 7: Depending on the severity of Donovan McNabb's thumb injury, we could be entering the Jay Feeley Era, designed only to stave off the eventual Kevin Kolb Era, which may or may not be the prelude to the Life After Andy Reid Era.
(I'm not necessarily advocating Reid's departure. Sometimes a fan base gets tired of a certain level of success, believing they're entitled to greater level of success, so they run off a good coach and roll the dice they can replace him with someone better. It's happened to Lloyd Carr at Michigan and Joe Torre with the Yankees in just the past month. Will the Eagles join them? My guess is yes.)
(Let's face it. The move for T.O. poisoned this franchise. McNabb and Reid may both need to go before the organization and fans can finally turn the page.)
Fantasy Impact: Quote from last week: "What the hell are the Dolphins waiting for? Put in John Beck and see what happens."
9-of-22 for 109 yards, no TD, no INT, no sacks taken. Actually, not too bad for a debut under those circumstances.
(No sacks? The Eagles had no sacks? Against a rookie QB making his first start on the road? Are you kidding? Good luck getting to Tom Brady next week.)
Indianapolis 13, Kansas City 10: That Peyton Manning guy must really suck.
Just kidding, obviously. The Colts will be fine. Adam Vinatieri will hit them when it counts. Marvin Harrison will be back. Tony Ugoh will be back. Dallas Clark will get healthy and so will Bob Sanders (both are playing dinged up). We can all chuckle now at the Colts' struggles, but don't by any means dismiss them as a threat.
Fantasy Impact: Dwayne Bowe (7 catches for 64 yards and a great TD) probably isn't going to make the Pro Bowl, but he should definitely garner some consideration as a replacement selection once half the players voted in invariably decide not to play.
NY Giants 16, Detroit 10: Like I said, you can just feel the Lions' collapse coming. Thursday against Green Bay could be ugly.
(Or they could blow the Packers out. I've been wrong about the NFC North all year. Why should now be any different?)
Fantasy Impact: One of those "fantasy vs. reality" conflicts on Shaun McDonald.
Fantasy: 7 catches for 113 yards. Good game.
Reality: Another fumble, big drop at the end that turned into a comeback-killing pick. Bad game.
Houston 23, New Orleans 10: This is what happens when your offense depends on one guy's ability to break plays. Reggie Bush has 67 receptions, fourth most in the NFL and one more than Randy Moss. But he only averages 5.6 yards per catch. How many times do you have to run the swing pass to figure out Bush isn't going to break five tackles for a touchdown? It's like hitting on the same bar tender over and over again hoping one day she'll realize what a great guy you are and go home and sleep with you. It's not going to happen. Get over it.
(In other words, take those passes to Bush and start throwing them down field. They can't drop all of them.)
Also, this Houston team is completely different with Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson both healthy. Cleveland better not start thinking they've got it made or the Texans might just steal their playoff spot.
Fantasy Impact: On behalf of all Saints fans and Drew Brees owners, #@%& Eric Johnson. He had two easy receptions bounce off his hands for cake interceptions. A lot of people played poorly on Sunday, but nobody killed their team and their quarterback more than Johnson.
Arizona 35, Cincinnati 27: That's it. I'm throwing in the towel on the Bengals. Their defense is just too terrible. And their offensive line stinks, too. Marvin Lewis has lost this team.
On the other side, Arizona's final six: San Francisco, Cleveland, at Seattle, at New Orleans, Atlanta, St. Louis.
Seattle's final six: at St. Louis, at Philadelphia, Arizona, at Carolina, Baltimore, at Atlanta.
With four home games for the Cardinals to only two for Seattle (a bad road team), the overall edge goes to Arizona. With that said, the biggest game remaining for each team, the re-match of a Week 2 Arizona win, will be at Qwest in Week 14. Chances are the winner of that one takes the division.
Fantasy Impact: What? You were expecting Leonard Pope to put up two touchdowns every week?
NY Jets 19, Pittsburgh 16: The Steelers' three losses this year: Arizona, Denver, and the Jets, all on the road. That's got to leave you with some questions about their character as a team. I'm not saying they're bad guys, but something isn't clicking right. They need to beat up on Miami and Cincinnati the next weeks to get their mojo back before finishing at New England, Jacksonville at Heinz, at St. Louis, and at Baltimore.
Also, Pittsburgh LB James Harrison should be the defensive player of the year.
Fantasy Impact: Jets WR Jerricho Cotchery only had one catch for five yards, by far his worst game of the season, but with Laveranues Coles injuring his ankle and the Jets on a short week playing at Dallas on Thanksgiving, Cotchery looks good for a bounce-back.
Seattle 30, Chicago 23: Patrick Kerney is turning into a force for Seattle with four sacks and two forced fumbles in his last two games. If the Seahawks end up pulling out the division, it's going to be very difficult for an opponent to go into Qwest and win a playoff game.
With that said, Seattle is still a much worse team on the road than they are at home. It'll be interesting to see if they can win at St. Louis against a Rams team that's 2-0 since they started their re-do.
Fantasy Impact: Was that Cedric Benson with a 43-yard touchdown run? Couldn't have been. Crazy talk.
Green Bay 31, Carolina 17: The Packers are a machine right now. From the coaches to the offense to the defense to special teams (recently activated Koren Robinson averaged 33 yards on three kick-offs, including a 67-yarder), everything is clicking. (Well, Mason Crosby did miss two kicks, so that wasn't great. But everything else is.)
Fantasy Impact: Was that Drew Carter putting up 132 yards receiving on the road? Couldn't have been. Crazy talk.
Dallas 28, Washington 23: Another reason why watching pre-season games is good for you:
From my Preseason Week 1 Notes column, talking about the Cowboys/Colts game: "Troy Aikman, who called the game with Joe Buck, thinks Terrell Owens is going to have a huge year. He's going to play the 'X' position in Garrett's offense, the same position played so successfully by Michael Irvin."
Come to think of it, T.O. did look awfully Irvin-esque in this one.
Fantasy Impact: Another fine day for Jason Campbell. In the last two weeks, he has completed 56-of-88 attempts (63.6%) with 5 TD and 1 INT. Unfortunately, the Redskins lost both games and now travel to NFC South leaders Tampa Bay in Week 12.
Also, it deserves mention Santana Moss finally came to play (9 catches for 121 yards and a TD). Welcome to the party, Santana. Glad you could make it.
Denver 34, Tennessee 20: If Mike Shanahan's goal was to get back in the top spot of NFL coaches I'd like to see contract a painful inflammation in an uncomfortable place, he's getting there. It used to be his spot. Then it was taken by Eric Mangini after his rat job in Week 1. But now that karma has taken its own revenge against Mangini, it might be time for the king of killing fantasy owners to reclaim his throne.
Why such the vitriol? Because his decision to "ice" Rob Bironas (stupid, stupid rule) at the end of the first half took a missed field goal off the board for my opponent (-2 in our league) and gave him a chance to kick a 56-yarder, which he made (+4 in our league). Six-point swing. I lost by four.
Bastard!
Fantasy Impact: So now you're telling me I have two injured Broncos running backs clogging up my roster, and I can't drop either? Super.
Minnesota 29, Oakland 22: If only you could have a winning season without throwing a touchdown pass, the Vikings may have something.
Fantasy Impact: Quote from last week: "Chester Taylor's long wait to get back in the spotlight is finally over. Let's see what he does with the opportunity."
Answer: 22 carries, 164 yards, 3 touchdowns. Makes you wonder if it's really the greatness of Adrian Peterson we've been watching all year or just a really good offensive line. (That Steve Hutchinson signing turned out to be worth every penny for Minnesota.)
St. Louis 13, San Francisco 9: Mike Nolan's weird decision making continues. Last week, he gave away opportunities for points by going for it on fourth down instead of taking the easy three. Then this week, down a touchdown late, in Rams territory, on fourth-and-10, he kicks the field goal. So they still need a touchdown to avoid the loss, except they can't recover an on-side kick that never even made it the mandatory 10 yards, the Rams run out the clock while the 49ers burn their timeouts (they had all three), then the 49ers try to drive the ball all the way down the field with time running out, which of course they can't do.
Fantasy Impact: Exactly what you would expect from two 2-8 teams.
Tampa Bay 31, Atlanta 7: The Bucs have to be the most under-the-radar division leader of the past decade. Seriously, if you were having a conversation about the best teams in the NFL, how long would it take you to get to Tampa? Yet here they are, 6-4 with a two-game lead in their division, with the second-stingiest scoring defense in the NFL (151 allowed, Pittsburgh has allowed 145), and remaining schedule featuring exactly zero teams currently in playoff position (5-5 Washington, at 4-6 New Orleans, at 5-5 Houston, 3-7 Atlanta, at 2-8 San Francisco, 4-6 Carolina).
Fantasy Impact: None for the Bucs offensively. That's what makes this so amazing.
Seth Doria is a writer based out of St. Louis. For the only daily column that mixes sports, politics, and entertainment news in one, visit The Left Calf.
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