Grace from Brazil, IN asks, "Is Kimbo Slice the 'next big thing' in mixed martial arts?"
Kimbo is "big," and he's a "thing," but he's not next. That's because he already is a big thing in mixed martial arts.
He was a big thing even before his second MMA contest against Tank Abbott, who, long ago, in the formative years of the sport, was the equivalent to Slice — a character with a shady background and devastating punching power.
As millions of views on YouTube have shown, that may make you champion of the back alley between Martin Luther King Boulevard and Bad Street, but it doesn't make you a champion in the major leagues of MMA.
But let's not hold that against Kimbo.
Lest you forget (if you do, you'll be reminded incessantly), Slice gained fame as a street fighter. He appeared mostly victorious in several underground fights that wildly circulated on the Internet, including a famous draw with a character known only as "Bigfoot" that went down behind a Kroger's in suburban Seattle.
Slice's success in the Internet arena propelled him into the world of MMA. In his first two sanctioned bouts, he defeated former Olympian and heavyweight boxing champ Ray Mercer and Abbott, respectively.
Most recently, Slice defeated 14-8 James "Colossus" Thompson in an EliteXC contest that caused an outrage, mostly felt by Mercer and Abbott, when they realized they were mere stepping stones to eight-time loser Thompson.
They felt better when they saw Thompson's left ear, a bulbous, sickening mass of flesh that obviously had something to do with the nickname "Colossus." Several celebrities in the crowd expressed disgust at Thompson's ear, including Vincent Van Gogh, the "Elephant Man" John Merrick, and Evander Holyfield.
Obviously, with an undefeated record, Slice will fight again, but will his efforts eventually lead to status as champion?
With a massive overhaul of his wrestling and defensive repertoire, Slice will be ready to challenge for the heavyweight title. Possibly in the UFC, where president Dana White is set to introduce the new "stand-up only" division, which has been fully endorsed by Chuck Liddell.
Slice may not be the most technically skilled fighter out there, but let's give Kimbo credit for what he does have — wicked punching power, and probably the most intimidating beard in athletics.
It makes sense. Slice's popularity is based much more on the power of marketing than on his abilities as a well-rounded fighter. It's no surprise, then, that growing on Slice's chin is the hair of boxing marketing tool Don King.
It's only a matter of time before King convinces Slice to make the logical move to professional boxing, where there's more money to be earned and less to be done to "earn" it. You want a superfight? Kimbo vs. Butterbean! That's marketing!
Slice is on the right track, and he's doing what he needs to be a major player in the sport. I hear he's even dating Jenna Jameson, or what's left of her. Nike will soon be rolling out its "Kimbo Knows" marketing blitz.
And he's already complaining that he should be paid more money. He's studying to be an actor and he was able to apply some of what he learned in the Thompson fight already.
Offers for acting jobs are flying in faster than you can say "fraud." These include roles as Mr. T in the new A-Team movie, an option to face Sylvester Stallone in the new Rocky movie, "Rocky vs. Son of Clubber Lang". And James Bond could always use a fresh villain.
Can you imagine Kimbo in a white suit, a monocle, with a chihuahua as a mascot?
Intriguing, no doubt. If none of those roles are suitable, then there's always money to be made pummeling the members of the Jackass crew. Kimbo, in his illustrious career, has probably beaten a midget, a fat guy, and a masochistic idiot. But never a world-class skateboarder in a chicken suit.
Slice will never be a champion in mixed martial arts, but he should enjoy a lengthy career due to his drawing power. As an Internet sensation, people wanted to see Slice knock people out. In the near future, with such legendary status, people will be content just to "see" him.
And if the MMA thing doesn't work out, Slice is one of the few people in the world who can say "I have that street-fighting thing I can fall back on."
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