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Old 08-24-2007, 11:38 PM   #16
Dano
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I always like this great moment in movie quotes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K92OVFeGgIE
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Old 08-24-2007, 11:54 PM   #17
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Awesome Dano - that was a classic!!!!:thumbsup2:
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Old 11-26-2007, 03:57 PM   #18
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"Hey, if any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey **** he is. Hallelujah. Holy ****.

Where's the Tylenol?"
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Old 11-27-2007, 12:20 AM   #19
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I reckon what you want to know
is what I'm doing in here.



I reckon it's because I killed somebody.



But I reckon you want to know
how come I killed somebody...



so I'll start at the front
and tell you.



I lived out in back of
my parents' place most of my life...



in a little old shed
that my daddy'd built for me.



They didn't want me in the house
with the rest of them...



so I sat around in the shed
looking at the ground.



I didn't have no floor...



but I had me a hole dug out
to lay down in...



a quilt or two to put down there.



My father...



was a hardworking man
most of his life...



not that I can say the same
for myself.



I mostly just sat around
in the shed...



tinkered around
with a lawn mower or two...



went to school off and on
from time to time.



But the children out there,
they were very cruel to me...



and made quite a bit of sport of me,
made fun of me quite a bit.



So mostly I just sat around
out there in the shed.



My daddy...



worked at the sawmill,
down at the planer mill...



for an old man named Dixon.



Old man Dixon was a very cruel fellow.



Didn't treat his employees well
or pay them well.



Didn't pay my daddy too much of a wage.



Just barely enough to get by,
I reckon.



I reckon he got by all right.



They used to come out,
one or the other of them...



usually my mother...



feed me pretty regular.



So I know he made enough
so I could have mustard and biscuits...



three or four times a week.



But old man Dixon...



he had a boy...



name of Jesse Dixon.



Jesse was more cruel
than his daddy was.



He used to make
quite a bit of sport of me...



when I was down there
at the schoolhouse.



Used to take advantage of the girls
in the neighborhood.



They used to say...



that my mother was a very pretty woman.



They said that quite a bit
when I'd be there at the schoolhouse.



I reckon you want me to get on with it
and tell you what happened.



So I reckon I'll tell you.



I was setting out in the shed
one evening, not doing much...



just staring at the wall...



and waiting on my mother
to give me my Bible lesson.



I heard a commotion in the house...



so I run up on the screened-in porch
to look inside.



I looked in and seen my mother laying
on the floor without any clothes on.



I seen Jesse Dixon
laying on top of her.



He was having his way with her.



I just seen red.



I picked up a Kaiser blade that was
sitting by the door.



Some folks called it a sling blade.
I called it a Kaiser blade.



It's got a long, wood handle,
kind of like an ax handle...



with a long blade shaped like a banana.



Sharp on one edge
and dull on the other.



It's what the highway boys use
to cut down weeds and whatnot. Yeah.



I went in the house...



and I hit Jesse Dixon
upside the head with it...



knocked him off my mother.



I reckon that didn't satisfy me...



so I hit him again in the neck
with the sharp edge...



and just plumb near cut his head off,
killed him.



My mother jumped up
and started hollering...



"What did you kill Jesse for?"



Well, come to find out...



my mother didn't mind
what Jesse was doing to her.



That made me madder
than what Jesse'd made me...



so I took the Kaiser blade-



some folks called it a sling blade,
I called it a Kaiser blade-



and I hit my mother
upside the head with it.



Killed her.
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Old 01-07-2008, 03:13 PM   #20
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"True love is hard to find. Sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend..."
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Old 01-07-2008, 03:47 PM   #21
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"At this point, you might be asking yourself, 'why am I holding this 30lb. Cinder block in my hands? You might also ask yourself, 'why does this cinder block have a long piece of string tied to it? And finally, why is the other end of this string tied securely to your *****?"
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Old 01-07-2008, 04:22 PM   #22
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"You're my boy Blue!!"
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Old 01-07-2008, 04:43 PM   #23
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" Guess we're gonna have to put the KY wrestling on hold for a while."
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Old 01-07-2008, 04:54 PM   #24
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"Hey Everyone!! We're going streaking!!"
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Can I get an Amen from the bobbleheads?
Hey I said pass the ketchup! I'm eatin' salad here!
Oooh, there is so much I don't know about astrophysics. I wish I had read that book by that wheelchair guy.
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Old 01-07-2008, 05:03 PM   #25
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Not a quote but, one of the funniest scenes ever!

Wedding Crashers
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Old 01-09-2008, 05:22 PM   #26
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"I like your nurse's uniform, guy."
"These are OR scrubs."
"Oh.....are they?"
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Old 01-09-2008, 10:34 PM   #27
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"YOOOO....ADRIAN!!!!" Kept saying this during Rambo... :lol:
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