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November 30, 2006

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 13

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Baltimore @ Cincinnati

Cincinnati intercepted Charlie Frye four times on their way to a 30-0 shutout of the imploding Browns 30-0, the Bengals first shutout since 1989. Their opponent on Thursday will be the Ravens, who blanked the Steelers 27-0 for their first shutout since 1989.

"That would be Week 1, this season," says Ray Lewis. "We're used to shutouts. The Bengals aren't used to shutouts, whether that be on the scoreboard or by not seeing a player's name in the police news. But I'm sure they will be ready for us in Cincinnati on Thursday. They're playing with confidence, and they should be well-rested. I hear Marvin Lewis gave them Monday and Tuesday off, also known in Cincy as time off for good behavior."

At 6-5, the Bengals can cut the Ravens' AFC North lead to two games with a win. Even with a win, it's highly unlikely the Bengals can win the division; a victory is much more important to their wildcard hopes. The Bengals still have to go to Indy and Denver, while the Ravens' most difficult game down the stretch is at Kansas City in Week 14.

"No matter how you slice it," says Bengals coach Marvin Lewis, "this is a must-win situation for us. I know the Raven defense is fierce, but if anyone knows how to beat it, it's me. In case you've forgotten, I practically invented defense in Baltimore. Heck, I made Tony Siragusa a good player. Without me, Tony would have never got that job as a FOX sideline reporter. You can all thank me later, or send your hate mail in care of the Bengals."

The Bengals' offense is capable of scoring enough points on the Ravens, provided they don't give up a defensive score. In their last meeting, Ed Reed returned a Carson Palmer interception for a score, and the Bengals could never overcome the resulting 14-0 deficit. This time, in Cincy, with a couple thousand people watching on the NFL Network, Cincinnati boosts their wildcard cause with a 24-20 win.

Arizona @ St. Louis

Matt Leinart threw for 405 yards and a touchdown in the Cardinals' 31-26 loss in Minnesota last Sunday. The former USC quarterback completed 31-of-51 passes with a touchdown and two interceptions.

"I've seen better pass defenses in the Pac-10," says Leinart, "but never have I had a more enjoyable boat ride than the cruise I took on Lake Minnetonka courtesy of Fred Smoot. Fred's pass defense is exactly as he likes his women — loose. What's more, the chicks even supply their own flotation devices. Anyway, we wanted to send Coach Green out with a win in his final game. What? He hasn't been fired? I could have sworn I saw Steve Mariucci backing up a U-Haul to the stadium. Maybe that was Kurt Warner."

The Rams beat the 49ers 20-17 on Marc Bulger's five-yard touchdown pass to Kevin Curtis with 27 seconds left in the game, and the Rams improved to 5-6, two games behind the Seahawks.

"I know we don't score points like the Rams of old," says Bulger. "So maybe we're not the 'Greatest Show on Turf' anymore. Call us 'A Moderately Enjoyable Diversion on Artificial Grass.' But we know we'll have to put up the points to beat the Cardinals. We know Leinart will be tossing it to Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald, because Arizona sure can't run."

That remains to be seen. Arizona is last in rushing offense; the Rams are last in rush defense. Something's got to give, doesn't it? Actually, Arizona doesn't bother running the ball. Leinart comes out throwing, and tosses three TD passes, but Bulger throws two or his own, and Steven Jackson rushes for 145 yards and two scores.

St. Louis wins, 37-28.

Atlanta @ Washington

Despite rushing for 127 yards in the first half, an NFL record for quarterbacks, Michael Vick found himself on the short end of a 21-6 score against the Saints. Vick ended the day with 166 rushing yards, but the Falcons dropped their fourth straight, losing 31-13. He left the field to a chorus of boos, and responded by flipping fans off with both middle fingers.

"It's not what it looked like," says Vick. "That was not an obscene gesture; it was a rallying cry. A 'call to arms' if you will, except it's a 'call to fingers.' I call it the 'Dirty Birds.' I just wanted our fans to feel a little nostalgia for the Falcons' last Super Bowl run, in 1999. We still feel like we have the potential to go to the Super Bowl. Okay, that's a little far-fetched, but we can still win this division. It's the NFC South, for heaven's sake. Anyway, my wide receivers, Roddy White and Michael Jenkins, don't have the manual dexterity to raise both middle fingers. They definitely wouldn't be on our onside kick receiving team."

The Redskins will be looking for their second-straight win over an NFC South foe after upsetting the Panthers 17-13 at FedEx Field. Jason Campbell, in only his second start, was 11-of-23 for 118 yards and two touchdowns, including a 66-yard strike to Chris Cooley for the game-winner.

"While I don't condone Michael Vick's obscene gesture to fans in Atlanta," says Campbell, "I can certainly see that not being that big of a deal here in D.C. Middle fingers fly almost daily here in Congress, and our esteemed Vice President, Dick Cheney, uttered the 'F' word to a member of the Senate."

Despite losing four straight, the Falcons are still solidly in the playoff race. Of course, they need help, but they play in the NFC South; they'll get help. Vick rushes for 95 yards and makes several miraculous throws. Even more miraculous, his wide receivers catch them.

Atlanta wins, 23-20.

Detroit @ New England

The Patriots grinded out a tough 17-13 win over the Bears at Gillette Stadium in a contest that had the feel of a playoff game, or, more specifically, a playoff game in which the teams combined for nine turnovers. New England never trailed, and Tom Brady made the plays that Rex Grossman couldn't.

"I was especially proud of my juke of Brian Urlacher,"says Brady. "I bet he's never seen a move like that since Paris Hilton gave him the slip. He's definitely never seen it in practice from Rex Grossman."

Detroit kept alive a Thanksgiving tradition that has become about as common as turkey: a loss. This time, the Lions were whipped by the Dolphins and former Lion Joey Harrington, 27-10. Miami held the Lions to 21 yards on the ground, and Jon Kitna turned the ball over twice.

"I guess play action doesn't really work under those circumstances," says Kitna. "It makes you wonder: Are players that bad when they come to Detroit, or does playing in Detroit make them that bad? Harrington's performance would lead you to believe the latter. Notre Dame's Brady Quinn should ponder that question, as well."

The Lions are reeling at 2-9, and Detroit native Kid Rock's breakup with noted Racketeer Pam Anderson hasn't helped the mood in the locker room, either. The Lions can only hope that the Patriots suffer a huge letdown. That probably won't happen. Throw out the win over the Bears, and New England has beaten NFC North competition by a combined score of 66-7.

Patriots win, 28-9.

Indianapolis @ Tennessee

Running back Joseph Addai rushed for 171 yards and a franchise record-tying four touchdowns in the Colts 45-21 win over the Eagles last Sunday night. Peyton Manning also set his own milestone, reaching 3,000 completions faster than any other player. Manning achieved the feat in 139 games, while it took Dan Marino and Drew Bledsoe 146 games.

"Wow. Drew Bledsoe's was one of the fastest to 3,000 completions?" asks Manning. "I did not know that. Did he get there before his 3,000th sack? Anyway, this is my yearly Tennessee homecoming, and I'll be seeking revenge for Eli, even though I'm not claiming him as my brother right now."

The Titans pulled off the week's, and possibly the year's, most shocking win by erasing a 21-point fourth quarter deficit to stun the Giants, 24-21. Vince Young threw for two touchdowns and rushed for another, and Tennessee won on Rob Bironas' 49-yard field goal with six seconds left.

"Call us 'Giant killers' if you like," says Young, "and call me 'David' if you so choose. Heck, find me a guy named 'Goliath' and I'll whip out my sling and pop a rock off his noggin. And while the biblical metaphors are flowing like the waters of the Nile, I'll do what I can to rain down hailstones of fire on the Colts. And a locust storm. Shoot, I might even bring Charlton Heston with me."

The Titans hang tough, just as they did in Week 5 against the Colts, when they lost 14-13. But Manning hits his disgruntled go-to guy Marvin Harrison for two scores, and the Colts win, 30-24.

Kansas City @ Cleveland

The Chiefs avenged a Week 2 loss to the Broncos by beating Denver 19-10 on Thanksgiving night to take over second place in the AFC West. Larry Johnson rushed for 157 yards on 34 carries and one touchdown, and Lawrence Tynes kicked four field goals.

"Look here, Herman Edwards," says Johnson, "my name is Larry Johnson, not Keyshawn Johnson. I never said 'Give me the damn ball.' But you're obviously giving me the ball, and then some. It's one thing to be sore after a games, but I can't even feel my legs until the Thursday after a Sunday game. Can a brother get a break?"

The Browns were shut out at home 30-0 by the Benglas and their 32nd-rated defensive unit. Charlie Frye threw four interceptions, then was accosted on the sideline by his receiver Braylon Edwards. Earlier in the week, Edwards had criticized the Browns' play-calling, as well as safety Brian Russell for his hit on Chad Johnson in Week 2.

"Obviously, Braylon's upset that Michigan fell to No. 3 in the Bowl Championship Series rankings," explains Frye. "And I would be, too. It's obvious the FOX Network has BCS voters in its back pocket. That West Coast demographic is very important, especially for a game played in Arizona. I could be wrong, though. Maybe Braylon's upset because I completed more passes to the Bengals than I did to him."

The Chiefs saddle up Johnson again, and the seemingly tireless running back takes them where they want to go. L.J. rushes for 133 yards and a score, and Trent Green throws for two touchdowns.

Kansas City wins, 27-13.

Minnesota @ Chicago

If you're Lovie Smith, you have to be scratching your head in disbelief that the Bears rushed for 153 yards and forced five turnovers against the Patriots, yet still lost, 17-13.

"I can that the 'Rex in Effect' phenomenon," explains Smith. "All I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom-and-a-boom-boom, just shake your rump. I've been waiting my whole life to say that. I'm scratching my head in disbelief that our quarterback turned the ball over four times, yet we only lost by four. I'm still trying to figure out how we won in Arizona when he turned it over six times. Rex has been guilty of 'gross' negligence with the ball on occasion."

Minnesota broke their four-game losing streak with a 31-26 win over Arizona in a game that shouldn't have been as close as it was. The Vikes held the Cards to 17 yards rushing and forced five turnovers, but surrendered 395 yards passing and gave up a kickoff return and fumble return for scores.

"I'd like to say 'we righted the ship,'" says Brad Childress, "but, as a rule, I try not to mention anything in nautical terms. I don't want to give Fred Smoot any ideas. But I'm very pleased with our rushing defense. Obviously, the best way through the Vikings' defense is via the air, and not land. But the way to a Vikings' heart is by sea."

Despite the loss in New England, Chicago is 9-2 and nearly a lock for home-field advantage throughout the playoffs, with remaining games against St. Louis, Tampa Bay, Detroit, and Green Bay. The only things keeping them from home-field are a large number of Grossman turnovers, or maybe a silly headband controversy. Chicago scores one TD on a Viking turnover (who doesn't) and Grossman gets back on track with two touchdown passes.

Chicago wins, 30-19.

N.Y. Jets @ Green Bay

Brett Favre continues his quest of Dan Marino's touchdown pass record of 420 as the Packers host the Jets and quarterback Chad Pennington. Favre threw one TD last Monday to reach 410 for his career. Favre also continues to increase his consecutive games-played streak for a quarterback. That record stands at 232.

"Wow! That's an incredible streak," beams an impressed Pennington. "Someday, if I remain healthy long enough, I hope to reach 232... consecutive plays, that is."

The Jets beat the Texans 26-11, despite only rushing for 27 yards on 26 carries. That kind of output doesn't sit well with Eric "The Ice" Mangini, who preaches the importance of a productive running game.

"I wouldn't call it 'preaching,'" says Mangini. "I curse and blaspheme way too much for it to even remotely resemble preaching. But our running game should get back on track against the Packers. After all, they gave up over 200 yards to Shaun Alexander last Monday."

Kevan Barlow and Leon Washington each rush for a score, and the Jets keep pace in the wildcard hunt with a 24-17 win.

San Diego @ Buffalo

LaDainian Tomlinson threw a touchdown pass to Antonio Gates and rushed for a score, both in the fourth quarter, as the Chargers erased a 14-7 deficit to the Raiders and won 21-14, their fifth straight win. Tomlinson also rushed for a score in the second quarter, and now needs only four TDs to tie Shaun Alexander's NFL record of 28 touchdowns in a season.

"I would never say this in real life," says Tomlinson, finishing up the brutal 11:30 PM to 7:30 AM third shift in the ESPN mail room, "but I feel totally comfortable saying this in the context of a fictional quote. I can't be stopped."

Buffalo's Willis McGahee has been known to make outrageous quotes proclaiming himself to be the NFL's best running back. He hasn't said it this year, but after two touchdowns against the Jaguars, don't be surprised if McGahee makes a bold statement.

"Okay, I'm the best Buffalo running back ever," says McGahee, "who hasn't been accused of double homicide or who didn't misplace his helmet in the Super Bowl."

Don't ask me why, but I have a feeling that the Bills will pull off the huge upset. It's not because the Chargers will have to travel coast to coast to Buffalo , or that they'll likely be playing in cold weather. And it's not because I think their run of comeback victories has to catch up to them sometime. Maybe it's the mushrooms, or possibly the airplane glue. Who knows? Anyway, McGahee gets fired up, and rushes for 110 yards and a score, and the Bills' defense holds Tomlinson in check (only one touchdown).

Buffalo wins, 23-20.

San Francisco @ New Orleans

New Orleans is back on top of the NFC South after completing the season sweep of the Falcons, while the offensively-challenged Panthers fell in Washington. Drew Brees passed for 349 yards and two touchdowns in a 31-13, including a 76-yard bomb to Devery Henderson on their third play from scrimmage.

"I'm on pace to throw for over 5,000 yards," says Brees. "I could break Dan Marino's record of 5,084 yards in a season. Not a good season for your records, eh, Danny Boy? And I've singlehandedly put Marques Colston and Devery Henderson on the map. And Joe 'Me So' Horn back on the map. This sure is a lot more fun than playing 'Martyball' in San Diego."

The 49ers had their three-game winning streak snapped in a 20-17 loss to NFC West rival St. Louis. Holding a 14-13 lead and facing a 4th-and-inches from the St. Louis 7, the 49ers chose to kick the field goal and rely on their defense to preserve the win.

"Ask any coach," says Mike Nolan, "and I'm sure they would have done the same thing. And those same coaches probably would have unanimously chosen to go for the first down, with the NFL's fourth-rated rushing offense against the league's worst rush defense. I stand by my decision, even though it was wrong."

It's the Saints' passing versus the 49ers' running. Brees throws for 300 and two scores, and the Saints win, 27-23.

Houston @ Oakland

Houston managed only 25 yards rushing in a 26-11 loss to the Jets, and fell to 3-8 in the AFC South. New York led from the start, and their lead was so comfortable throughout the game that they were able to rush 26 times for a measly 27 yards.

"I guess everyone was right," says Gary Kubiak. "We should have taken a running back with the first pick in the draft. Just not Reggie Bush. If I had it to do over, I'd have gone with Joseph Addai or Laurence Maroney."

What's the story in Oakland? Another loss, but a competitive one, as the Raiders held a 14-7 fourth quarter lead against the Chargers before LaDainian Tomlinson took over, leading San Diego to a 21-14 win.

"We call that 'success' here in Oakland," says Art Shell. "We held the Chargers to 14 second-half points. That's 28 fewer than the Bengals could manage, and 21 fewer than the Broncos. But the real story here is Warren Sapp's allegations that his food was tampered with on road trips when he was with Tampa Bay. Warren's hired a lawyer, and plans to sue for lost meals."

The Raiders demoted offensive coordinator Tom Walsh and promoted tight ends coach John Shoop "Doggy Dogg" to coordinator. That should be good for the Oakland offense, and Walsh will finally have the time to mow the lawn at his bed and breakfast. Everybody wins.

Shoop's first order of business is to get Randy Moss to produce, so he calls eight straight bombs to Moss to start the game. It works on the final try, and the Raiders take a 7-0 lead and never look back.

Oakland wins, 20-10.

Jacksonville @ Miami

Miami won its fourth straight as Joey Harrington finally played a good game in Detroit, throwing for three touchdowns in a 27-10 defeat of the home-standing Lions on Thanksgiving. While Harrington was being introduced prior to kickoff, the Lions public address mockingly played Billy Joel's "Piano Man," a reference to Harrington's talent as a pianist.

"I find it hard to believe an organization would stoop to such a level," says Nick Saban. "That situation clearly called for the public address sound system to blare Joel's 'She's Always a Woman' or 'Movin' Out.' Anyway, Joey handled the situation with grace and composure, which is exactly what you'd expect from a concert pianist."

Jacksonville lost 27-24 to the Bills on Rian Lindell's 42-yard field goal as time expired. The Jags fell behind 10-0 and never led, and were hindered by 10 penalties for 108 yards.

"We didn't play to win," says Jack Del Rio. "Instead, we played like we were afraid to lose. I don't know why these guys are afraid of losing; they've done plenty of it. This is a must-win game for us. It seems like we have those every other week."

Miami sacked Jon Kitna eight times on Thanksgiving; they won't do that against the elusive David Garrard. The Jags, as they often do, come through when they have to. Garrard throws for a score, and scrambles for 50 yards on the ground.

Jacksonville wins, 19-14.

Dallas @ N.Y. Giants

After last Sunday's collapse in Tennessee, the Giants held a players-only meeting to regroup and air their concerns before Sunday's huge home game against the Cowboys. Several players spoke, and Mathias Kiwanuka, who inexplicably let Vince Young free from a sure sack, asked for a hug from each and every player. He got his wish, but refused to let go of Eli Manning.

"Just practicing," said Kiwanuka.

Dallas will be well rested after their 38-10 blowout of the Buccaneers on Thanksgiving. And they'll be without kicker Mike Vanderjagt, who was cut earlier in the week. The Cowboys signed veteran kicker Martin Gramatica.

"Obviously, Jose Cortez wasn't available," says Bill Parcells. "We've made a poor man's living with journeymen kickers. Vanderjagt just didn't get the job done. Heck, he probably hasn't realized I stuck a 'Kick Me' sign on his back."

The Giants will obviously be fired up for this one. A win and they are back in first in the East, and the collapse in Tennessee will be forgotten. A loss, and they're hurting in the playoff race. New York jumps out to a quick 7-0 lead, but the Cowboys storm back and exploit a still-injured Giants' defense. Tony Romo passes for 264 yards and two touchdowns, and Dallas widens its lead in the East.

Cowboys win, 30-24.

Tampa Bay @ Pittsburgh

After being sacked nine times in a 27-0 loss in Baltimore , Ben Roethlisberger has a few words for fellow Mid-American Conference quarterback alumni Bruce Gradkowski.

What? "I've fallen and I can't get up?"

"No, fool. Always wear a helmet," says Roethlisberger. "Do you hear that sound? That's either the sound of me being peeled off the turf in Baltimore, or the sound of life-sized Fathead stickers being ripped from bedroom walls. The Ravens really gave me a pounding. That sack by Bart Scott was the hardest I've ever been hit, and that includes hits delivered by windshields."

Gradkowski has struggled of late, and John Gruden has lost a little faith in his rookie quarterback. It can hardly be a boost to Gradkowski's confidence when the injured Chris Simms is offered a contract extension.

"No, that doesn't really make me feel wanted," says Gradkowski. "In fact, it makes me sick to my stomach, so much so that I won't even be able to perform my pre-game vomit for which I'm semi-famous. Only one thing could make me feel worse: if Coach Gruden asked me to donate my spleen to Chris."

The Steelers will be without wide receiver Hines Ward and safety Troy Polamalu, both with knee injuries. But they still have Willie Parker, and Roethlisberger limits his mistakes.

Pittsburgh wins, 17-13.

Seattle @ Denver

After the Broncos' Thanksgiving night loss to the Chiefs, Jake Plummer awoke the following morning to his own personal "Black Friday." No, he wasn't the 201st person in line at Target for a $10 gift card to the first 200 customers. Instead, rumors began to surface that his days as the starter in Denver were numbered. Those rumors were confirmed as true later in the week when it was announced that Jay Cutler will start Sunday night against the Seahawks.

"Hey, what can I do?" says Plummer. "Cry about it? No way. Then everyone would call me 'Liquid Plummer.' I can't have that. What I can do is swallow my pride and this bitter pill, put on my Denver baseball cap, and be the best darn deliverer of those overhead photos faxed down to the field I can be."

Matt Hasselbeck made a shaky return to the lineup after missing four games with a knee injury. He threw three interceptions, and his fumble was returned for a touchdown by the Packers' Abdul Hodge. However, he rebounded in the second half to throw three TD passes, and Shaun Alexander shook off his rust with a 40 carry, 201-yard game as the Seahawks won 34-24.

"Hey, if you add my first-half passer rating to my second-half passer rating," says Hasselbeck, "it equals zero. Not really. You can't have a negative passer rating. Otherwise, Jake Plummer would have one."

Is Cutler ready for the big time, with a national television audience watching? Probably not. That's why the Broncos will run the ball 45 times, although don't be surprised if Cutler takes an early deep shot to Javon Walker. Cutler makes a few nice screen passes, and is on target with a couple of three-yard outs, and the Denver defense carries the load.

Broncos win, 19-13.

Carolina @ Philadelphia

After taking over the lead in the NFC South last week, the Panthers went to Washington and lost to the Redskins, 17-13. Washington may have only four wins, but three of those have come at the expense of teams in the playoff hunt, Jacksonville, Dallas, and now the Panthers.

"We had our chances, we just didn't capitalize," says John Fox. "Honestly, I think Jake Delhomme was trying to split the uprights on that final pass intended for Steve Smith. I've seen golfers miss their target by that much, but not professional quarterbacks. Someone check this fact for me? Did Jake actually lead us to the Super Bowl in 2003?"

Yes, he did. Hey coach, here's an equation that sums it up. What is Delhomme minus Smith? Kerry Collins. And while we're talking mathematics, here's another equation. The Eagles minus Donovan McNabb equals no playoffs.

"Here's more on the subject of mathematics," says Andy Reid. "We're still mathematically alive in the playoff race. Until someone tells me we're out of it, we're going to give it our best shot. When someone tells me we're out of it, then I can devote the full extent of my time to the competitive cup-stacking circuit. Man, talk about athletes!"

The Panthers are like the Jaguars: they win when they have to, but not when they need to. They have to win here. Of course, if they don't, and New Orleans loses to the 49ers, it's no big deal. Delhomme connects with Smith for a 45-yard score, and the Panthers intercept Garcia twice.

Carolina wins, 21-14.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:14 PM | Comments (1)

Livewriting Ohio State/North Carolina

A few weeks ago, over hot dogs and Miller Lites, a few friends of mine and I discussed colleges that have achieved a measure of simultaneous success, or near-simultaneous success, in both football in basketball.

It's funny how often schools are big-time in just one or the other. Duke, Kentucky, and Indiana have long been wretched in football, and USC, Nebraska, and Auburn haven't scared anyone on the basketball court in quite awhile.

There are, or course, some schools that have sustained success at both. Florida's an obvious example. LSU made the Final Four last year. Maryland won the NCAA tournament around the same time they knocked Florida State off the ACC football perch. West Virginia has been making deep runs in both sports.

As a Buckeye alum, I hastened to add Ohio State to the list, and now, a few weeks later, they have reached a transcendent level: ranked No. 1 in both football and basketball (psst ... play along with me here and pretend there is no AP poll, just a Coaches' poll).

I'll be the first to admit that Ohio State's basketball ranking is a bit of a fraud. As talented as their recruiting class is, they are still a group of greenhorns. The best player on the team (two-time national high school player of the year Greg Oden) won't even play until January or mid-December at the earliest due to a wrist injury (but I'm sure you know that already — more on this later).

There's just no way that this team is the best in the nation right now, but that hasn't stopped me from calling all my friends and hammering home a lot of verbal underlines of Ohio State's double. I've had to call them fast, too, because I don't expect their basketball ranking to be very meaningful after their date in Chapel Hill tonight.

Although I favor sixth-ranked North Carolina when they play Duke (wherever there's a rivalry between a blue-collar public school and an elite private one, I'm pretty much always going to go with the former), I have a special dark place in my heart for UNC when the Heels play Ohio State.

That's because about 10 years ago, these same Buckeyes played UNC during a time when Carolina was on top of the world and the Buckeyes were mediocre. For the game, my local paper, the Akron Beacon Journal, invited a Carolina journalist — I mercifully forget her name — to write a guest column about the upcoming game.

The column would turn out to be the most condescending, pointless piece of crap I've ever read in a legitimate newspaper. The entire theme of the article was that, although this was a big non-conference game for OSU, it was just anther blip to the Mighty Tar Heels. An afterthought. Oh, don't get me wrong, she wrote (I'm paraphrasing of course). "Y'all" have a nice state and a nice football team and all that, but basketball in Carolina means something Ohioans would never understand and this game is not really worth much radar space to a North Carolina fan.

Well, eff you, too, lady. She predicted a big North Carolina blowout, which she got. I've been waiting for Ohio State to exact revenge ever since. "How much do you care about us now?" I will yell into the void, many years on, if Ohio State can pull off the upset tonight. If that upset happens, OSU will probably become No. 1 in both polls and won't be seriously tested again for a few weeks, thus allowing me to make gloating calls to my friends at a more casual pace. And as much as I'm not convinced of their No. 1 ranking now, a win on Tobacco Road without their best player would certainly give me pause. Sounds like the perfect storm for a livewriting exercise.

17:40 left in the first half, 7-4 Ohio State — One of the UNC guards, Wayne Ellington, is celebrating his 19th birthday today and is telling people he will score exactly 19 points tonight to mark it. Good. More extraneous, "Ohio State is an afterthought, let's have fun" thinking.

12:35, 22-19 Ohio State — Mike Conley just split two Heel defenders Harlem Globetrotter-style for an easy lay-up, but North Carolina still has cut a nine-point deficit down to three in the last minute or so. Man, this game is gonna end up with a final score like that of an 1980s NBA game.

9:30, 29-23 Ohio State — Dan Shulman said the UNC fans were chanting "OVERRATED" at the Buckeyes during the pre-game shootaround, and just like TV announcers usually do when repeating a crowd chant, Shulman said it in a restrained version of the sing-songy voice the fans use. Always cringe-worthy and hilarious at the same time.

7:27, 33-23 Ohio State — First double-digit lead of the game. North Carolina has not led, Ohio State has not committed a turnover.

5:47, 35-28 Ohio State — Football score = good omen for the Bucks.

2:18, 43-42, Ohio State — OSU has turned the ball over on three consecutive trips. I shouldn't have said anything at 7:27.

1:01, 48-42 Ohio State — OSU is 8-of-12 from three-point land. I don't believe I can jinx my team. I don't believe I can jinx my team. I don't believe I can jinx my team (continues to softly repeat this mantra).

Half-time, 48-44 Ohio State — In upset news, Oregon won at Georgetown and Robert Morris led Pitt in the second half.

17:58 left in the second half, 50-48 North Carolina — First lead for the Tar Heels in the game, and it came off an air-balled three-point attempt for Ohio State. It's official. I can jinx my team. Damn.

16:11, 53-50 North Carolina — Ohio State scores their first points of the second half and ends an 11-0 UNC run.

14:50, 56-55 North Carolina — While the ball is in play, ESPN is interviewing Butch Davis courtside and splitting the screen so we can see both the game and the most important thing, Butch Davis's face. Just hearing what he has to say is not enough. Great move, ESPN.

11:28, 66-62 Ohio State — You know, considering how many freshman are playing a big role in this game for both teams, it's pleasantly surprising that I haven't heard Dick Vitale say "Diapuh Daaandy!" once yet. Other than that, he's his usual self, the real-life Orgasm Guy.

9:27, 68-65 Ohio State — Shulman: "Now, all three big men for Ohio State have three fouls." Vitale: "And their best big man (Oden) is on the bench, injured!" This marks the 247th time this game and 14,202nd time this season that an announcer has broken the news that Greg Oden is injured and out of action.

6;27, 80-70 North Carolina — Wow, what an awful time to allow the Heels to go on a 15-2 run. And counting.

5:32, 82-72 North Carolina — Vitale just said "Diaper Dandy."

4:25, 84-72 North Carolina — It's too bad North Carolina is running away with this now, not just because I'm an Ohio State fan, but because a game that has been as entertaining as this deserves an exciting ending.

3:31, 84-76 North Carolina — Say, did you know that Ohio State's best player is named Greg Oden and he is currently not playing because of an injury? Yep. You're welcome.

1:22, 93-83 North Carolina — Ohio State pulled within five for a second, but it's obviously not looking good. Worse, Wayne Elllington has 18 points, and while it doesn't look he will hit his prediction on the number, he's gonna kill the joke I had ready to roll about him scoring his mental age if he scored 8 or 12 or 15 or whatever.

0:52, 94-85 North Carolina — So help me God, Ellington just went back to the line and hit 1-of-2. Yep. 19 points. (He wouldn't score again.)

0:00, 98-89 North Carolina — Eff you, too, lady.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 9:58 PM | Comments (1)

November 29, 2006

CFB Predictions: Championships

I am absolutely stunned that the season is already over. I am not thrilled with my record this year, but any time you can gamble for an entire season and come out ahead of the books, you have done something right. Bowl season has almost always been kind to me, and I intend to share all of my selections for that time of year with you guys, as well. Good luck this week.

YTD Record

1* = 10-5-1
2* = 10-8-1
3* = 9-7

1* = Gun to my head, I'd play the team listed (risky)
2* = A good chance of covering; a worthy play (fairly confident)
3* = I will be playing this team for a large chunk of money (very confident)

No. 16 Wake Forest @ No. 23 Georgia Tech –2.5, 1:00 PM, ABC

I'm not sure this is the conference title game match up the forefathers of the modern day ACC envisioned when they put the 12-team conference together. Regardless of what anyone thinks, these teams have earned their place in this game, as well as the BCS opportunity that comes with a victory on Saturday.

Tech and Wake didn't meet in the regular season, so there really isn't a great point of reference for comparison other than their performances against common opponents, but this type of analysis almost always does more harm than good. I don't recommend it.

The thing I keep coming back to this game is the 251 yards Sean Glennon threw for against Wake a few weeks ago. That seems like as good of an indication as any that it doesn't take a good quarterback to move the ball through the air against Wake Forest at this point in the season. That sure is good news for Tech because they certainly don't have a good quarterback so long as Reggie Ball is at the helm of their offense. Look for Tech to win this one comfortably behind their defense and a couple of big gains from Calvin Johnson in the passing game.

The play: Ga Tech 3*

No. 2 USC @ UCLA +12.5, 4:30 PM, ABC

Before USC can book their flight to Glendale in January, they must first travel across town to take on the Bruins in Pasadena. Despite already accepting a bid to play in the Emerald Bowl, motivation won't be an issue for UCLA as they have been drilled by the Trojans in each of the last few meetings.

As usual, it is very tough to make a case for a team like UCLA on paper, so I won't really try to. This is a classic sandwich spot for USC coming off their big win over Notre Dame. They can't afford to be looking ahead to Ohio State, but that doesn't mean they won't be. I expect USC to win this game, but look for UCLA to keep it close all the way into the fourth quarter.

The play: UCLA 2*

No. 8 Arkansas +2.5 @ No. 4 Florida, 6:00 PM, CBS

It is unknown what exactly will be at stake when the two survivors of the SEC slate take the field Saturday night in Atlanta. If USC goes down earlier in the day, then Florida will be trying vehemently to state their case for the spot opposite Ohio State in the national title game. Regardless of what happens in the other contest, a BCS spot will be on the line here.

I've been on both sides of games featuring these squads throughout the course of the year, and frankly I could see this one going either way. Believe it or not, I think Florida is going to have a harder time moving the ball than Arkansas will. The Gators have struggled offensively against virtually everyone not named Western Carolina that they have played lately, while Arkansas was able to generate big plays last week against LSU last week, despite the absence of a passing attack. When in doubt, ride with the rushing dog.

The play: Arkansas 1*

No. 19 Nebraska +4 @ No. 8 Oklahoma, 8:00 PM, ABC

I'm really not sure how to view Oklahoma at this point. On one hand, I could easily argue that they are fortunate just to be here. However, at the same time, they probably should be 11-1 coming in as their loss to Oregon was and still is a total joke.

Nebraska enters Kansas City a strong 9-3 with the three losses coming at USC, vs. Texas, and at an up-and-coming Oklahoma State team. Their balanced attack will present a challenge for a solid Oklahoma defense.

I'm worried about Nebraska's ability to stop Oklahoma's rushing attack, but if they commit to stopping the run and force Paul Thompson to beat them, then I think they will be okay. Look for Bill Callahan and the Huskers to beat the Sooners outright and grab a surprise BCS berth in the process.

The play: Nebraska 2*

Please keep in mind that I am evaluating the most popular games for the purposes of this article. These games are not necessarily the best options available. You can more picks, results, and opinions on sports wagering at Ryan Hojnacki's website. This article is for entertainment purposes only. Sports wagering is not legal is most jurisdictions in the U.S. Sports Central does not encourage any individual to partake in illegal activities and holds no responsibility for actions taken as a result of this article. Check with your local laws before engaging in any wagering activities.

Posted by Ryan Hojnacki at 9:04 PM | Comments (0)

The Return of the Star Center

Not along ago, basketball fans and writers alike were lamenting the donut phenomena, where every team except the one with Shaquille O'Neal had a large hole in the center. Bill Russell/Wilt Chamberlain? Willis Reed/Wes Unseld? We weren't even talking Brad Daugherty/Robert Parrish — there was not one post player who could contend with O'Neal when he was at his best.

Even hobbled, the Diesel dominated. Oh, there was plenty of tall talent, but all of it at the "four" position: Kevin Garnett, Karl Malone, Dirk Nowitzki, Tim Duncan, Amare Stoudemire, Chris Webber, and the then-svelte Shawn Kemp. In the 1970's they'd have been centers, but the game had changed (some say evolved).

When one watched an NBA game two seasons ago, unless Miami was playing, not one player on either team posted himself in the paint at the beginning of a half-court possession. Neither did a post player on the defensive end. Every play started, and ran through, the wing players. Collegiate ball, with a few exceptions (notably Andrew Bogut's Utah squad) was worse. But nothing bad can last forever.

Today, 20-year-old Dwight Howard not only challenges inside shots, he averages 16.4 points and 13.5 rebounds a night. 13.5 rebounds a game leads the league a lot of years. Emeka Okafor goes for 19 points and 12 rebounds a contest, and blocks 3.4 shots to boot. Young Raptor Chris Bosh is scoring 21 points with 12 boards a game, and the Long Awaited One, Yao Ming, has averages of 26.4 ppg, 12.4 rebs, and 2 blocks. This was worth the wait. And these guys are so young, Joakim Noah and Greg Oden may be giving them company soon. Things are literally looking up.

How did we get here? Coaching, scouting, and a little common sense. There is obviously no place for Yao Ming except the low post, despite his nice shooting touch. Given the state of the league, and the dearth of talented pivots when they joined it, Okafor and Howard's defensive gifts would have been wasted on the wing. Ditto Bosh. After all, if no one else has a big man who can guard yours, why make him a power forward where he'd be matched nightly against the likes of Stoudemire and Garnett?

With the tutelage of one Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the Lakers' Andrew Bynum is also coming around. One night, he led the purple-and-gold to a win over the T-Wolves by tallying 20 points and 14 rebounds. The team is atop the Pacific Division, who knew?

Where will we go from here? First of all, Howard, Okafor, Ming, and Bosh will only improve as they mature, barring injury. Some will be better than the basketball world thought Ralph Sampson would turn out to be. Others will become giant media darlings — a rare commodity only recently achieved by the engaging Shaq. That 6'10" high school phenom will aspire to become Dwight Howard, not an outgrown Allen Iverson. After all, the teenage Lew Alcindor idolized New York resident Wilt Chamberlain, not Bob Cousy.

The game will also change (I say, "evolve"), and become about inside power. So NBA GMs will be forced to scout bigs as bigs, and not as tall jump shooters. There will be a foreign influx of weighty centers to stem the flow of damage from the aforementioned fabs. Commissioner David Stern, aspiring players, and league fans will see the pivot position as the glamour spot. Howard/Okafor wars will draw fans, as will other worthy matchups.

Most interesting, superstars such as Garnett and Stoudemire will be assigned to guard these guys more often. Those will be battles to look forward to. When it becomes a question of winning or losing, coaches will use their best big to guard the opponent's best big, regardless of what position the defender plays "on paper." As the gifted power forwards age, the Baby Bigs will begin getting the better of them. Of such stuff (or stuffs), legends are made.

Let's face it, this league has always been about matchups. Elgin Baylor and Bob Pettit, Oscar Robertson and Jerry West, Walt Frazier and Earl Monroe, Larry Bird Magic Johnson. It will take great post duels, not crossover dribbles and three-point bombs, to maintain the interest of rooters in the And 1 and Madden generation. We can see blind passes in the Rucker League — let's see someone other than father time stop a 315-pound Diesel.

Posted by Bijan C. Bayne at 6:19 PM | Comments (0)

November 28, 2006

NFL Week 12 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* You probably heard plenty about him on Thanksgiving, but my thoughts are with Lamar Hunt. If the NFL had a Mt. Rushmore, Hunt would probably be on it.

* Junior Seau broke his arm on Sunday, ending his season and probably his career. It's been a great one.

* Maybe I'm missing something here, but setting off fireworks in domes seems like a bad idea to me.

* The Cowboys cut Mike Vanderjagt. Don't listen to that "most accurate kicker" crap he spews. Kicking stats are much different than they used to be, Vandy spent most of his career in a dome, and he can't kick under pressure. I wouldn't want him, either.

* Cris Collinsworth wondered Thursday if Jay Cutler could be "the next Tony Romo." Step aside, Kurt Warner. Teams are now hoping they have the next Tony Romo.

***

This has been called the year of the backup quarterback, and it's true that a lot of teams have switched starters, often with considerable success. Vince Young, Joey Harrington, and Tony Romo are the most notable success stories, but Damon Huard performed admirably for Kansas City, and Jason Campbell has given new hope to fans in Washington. Most recently, the Broncos handed the keys to rookie Jay Cutler, meaning San Diego — the team so worried about its QB that it traded for Billy Volek — is the only team in the AFC West not to use two starting quarterbacks this season.

Miami and Washington are especially interesting because, after terrible starts, both teams have an outside shot at playoff contention. The Dolphins are 5-6 and have a tough remaining schedule, but if they somehow run the table, and get a little help from the Broncos and Bengals, Miami might still be able to sneak in. In the tough AFC, that's not likely, but the weak NFC leaves more possibilities open.

Right now the last wildcard spots belong to the Panthers and Giants, followed by a group of really terrible 5-6 teams. Washington (4-7) owns a head-to-head tiebreaker over Carolina, and with a remaining home game against the Giants can effectively pick up two games in one week. The only really tough game remaining on the schedule is at New Orleans, and Washington probably can't win that one, but this team made a surprise run at the end of last season, too, winning its last five games to clinch the NFC's last playoff spot.

Don't bet on either club to make the postseason, but hope springs eternal, and strange things happen in the NFL. On to the power rankings, brackets show previous rank.

1. Indianapolis Colts [2] — Scored a season-high 45 points against Philadelphia, and the passing game was clicking, but what really dominated was the Indianapolis rushing game. The Eagles have an undersized defensive front, and rank 28th in rush defense, which is almost as bad as the Colts. Indy made 15 first downs on the ground, with 237 rushing yards, including 171 (and four touchdowns) by rookie Joseph Addai.

2. Baltimore Ravens [3] — You won't see many teams lose when they're +3 in turnovers and sack the opposing quarterback nine times. No team makes more big plays on defense than the Ravens. Their combined total of 68 sacks and takeaways leads the NFL. If they keep this up, the Ravens are going to lose defensive coordinator Rex Ryan to a head coaching position in the next year or two.

3. San Diego Chargers [4] — Philip Rivers had his worst game of the season, with a 44.2 passer rating more than 30 points below his previous season-low. The most interesting statistic from Sunday's game, though, was that kicker Nate Kaeding had two tackles. Shawne Merriman returns from suspension this week, which could make San Diego's defense as scary as its offense.

4. New England Patriots [5] — Combined with Chicago for five interceptions and four lost fumbles. Defensive back Asante Samuel was the hero for New England, with a team-leading nine tackles and three interceptions. The Patriots have a terrifying defense, and haven't allowed anyone but the Colts to score 20 points against them this season.

5. Dallas Cowboys [7] — There's really nothing to say about Tony Romo that hasn't been said already, but the Dallas defense has been incredible, too, holding its last five opponents to an average of 14 points. Defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer is another possible head coaching prospect, and Bill Parcells assistants have been a hot commodity recently.

6. Chicago Bears [1] — Rex Grossman is all-or-nothing, and the Bears are seeing more and more of the nothing recently. Grossman's passer rating for November was a miserable 57.1, capped by his four-turnover performance against New England. That fumbled exchange with the center might not have been entirely Grossman's fault, but it was probably the difference in the game. Grossman is tied with Eli Manning in the usually-dubious QB excitement stat: combined TD passes and interceptions (32).

7. Kansas City Chiefs [8] — No game this season has been hyped harder than the NFL's Network's Thursday night debut between KC and Denver, but it was kind of a dull game. It may not be totally fair to evaluate Trent Green based on his first two games back from a long absence, and both played against good defenses, but he doesn't look very good right now.

8. New Orleans Saints [11] — When you factor in sacks, they held the Falcons to 1.9 yards per pass attempt. That stat is a little misleading, since some of Michael Vick's 166 rushing yards came on scrambles from aborted pass plays, but it's still a phenomenal number. Speaking of phenomenal numbers, though, Vick is on pace for 1,265 rushing yards this season. No quarterback has ever reached 1,000 before.

9. Cincinnati Bengals [14] — We all know about Cincinnati's offense, but how about the defense, which engineered one of two AFC North shutouts this week? Kevin Kaesviharn had another big game, with a sack and two of the Bengals' four interceptions. On the downside, the team continues to struggle in pass protection. Carson Palmer has been sacked in every game this season, and more than once in all but two. Barely two-thirds of the way through this season, Palmer already has a career high in sacks.

10. Miami Dolphins [16] — We saw a glimpse of the old Joey Harrington at the end of the first half, but this team has really rallied around him, and Miami's four-game winning streak is the third-longest in the NFL, behind only the Ravens and Chargers. The Dolphins are top-five in total defense, third down defense, and yards per play allowed.

11. Denver Broncos [6] — They were 5-1, then 7-2, but after dropping two in a row — against division opponents — they're 7-4 and fighting to stay in the AFC playoff picture. Cris Collinsworth nailed it on Thursday night when he said, "The Broncos right now are playing like they're scared to death." This was in the first quarter. Jake Plummer has played a little better recently, but I think fans and coaches feel that the offense couldn't possibly be much worse with Jay Cutler at the controls.

12. Seattle Seahawks [13] — What a terrible coaching job by Mike Holmgren on Monday night. I'm all for running the football, but there is no way Shaun Alexander should have had 40 carries against Green Bay. That's how running backs get hurt, and Alexander is only two games removed from a foot injury that kept him out for six weeks. Holmgren overworked Alexander last season to put the reigning league MVP in this situation, and now he's going to do it all over again. Alexander looked great, but he needs to split the load a little.

13. Carolina Panthers [10] — Don't read too much into their loss at Washington, a team against whom the Panthers have traditionally struggled (1-7). Washington's defense stepped up, holding Steve Smith to 34 yards, and this team loses when Smith isn't productive. Carolina's defense played well for the most part, but couldn't put pressure on Jason Campbell and couldn't stop Ladell Betts.

14. New York Jets [17] — Got no production out of the rushing or return games, but limited mistakes (only one penalty) and had a good day throwing the ball. The defense took advantage of Houston's subpar offensive line, netting four sacks, including two by Bryan Johnson. It seems more and more, though, like this team wins or loses according to how well Chad Pennington plays.

15. Jacksonville Jaguars [12] — There's no one magic stat that determines wins and losses in the NFL. But when you go 1-for-11 on third down and commit 10 penalties, you're going to have a hard time scoring points. The Jaguars are supposed to be a defense-first team, but didn't have a great game against Buffalo. The hardest part of Jacksonville's schedule is coming up, and I wouldn't bet on this team to qualify for the postseason.

16. New York Giants [9] — The first time I saw Mathias Kiwanuka let go of Vince Young, I thought it was one of the worst — and most startling — plays I had ever seen in professional football. The more I see it, though, I begin to think Kiwanuka was smart to release him (though not to look away afterwards). If he'd drawn a personal foul on that play, he'd be in almost as much trouble as he is now. If you're looking for the goat, it's Eli Manning. As usual. Someone needs to find out if this kid has a bookie.

17. Buffalo Bills [24] — Since the bye, they've won three of their four games, with the loss by one point at Indianapolis. J.P. Losman is playing much better, with a 95.0 passer rating and twice as many TDs and interceptions for the month of November. The Bills do need to improve their rush defense, which got mauled by the Jaguars.

18. Washington Redskins [23] — Much better at home than on the road. At home, Washington has beaten Jacksonville, Dallas, and Carolina. On the road, the team is 1-5. Great scheme by the offensive coaching staff, keeping extra blockers in to protect Campbell. If Washington plays that well the rest of the season, it's going to finish second in the NFC East.

19. Tennessee Titans [25] — Last week, I wrote that Vince Young needed to improve his play, and this week, he had his best game as a pro, with 318 yards and three TDs in combined rushing and passing statistics. Young is still working on his accuracy and consistency, but those are things all rookies struggle with, and it looks like Young can be a special player in this league.

20. Pittsburgh Steelers [15] — On a good day, the Steelers probably beat all but the top half-dozen or so teams in the league. However, good days have been few and far between for Pittsburgh this year, and Sunday's beatdown at the hands of a bitter rival was a low point for the Steelers this season. With injuries slowing them down even more for the next few weeks, fans have probably started looking ahead to next season.

21. Green Bay Packers [21] — In their wins, Brett Favre's passer rating is 105.1. In their losses, it's 64.0. It's normal for a QB's rating to be higher in wins than losses, but a 40-point disparity is crazy. Favre's decision-making goes down the toilet when his team is behind.

22. Philadelphia Eagles [19] — The Colts are a very good team, and Jeff Garcia played pretty well, but I think it's obvious that the Eagles have taken Donovan McNabb's season-ending injury as an excuse to give up on the season. The Eagles got out-muscled by Indianapolis on Sunday night, a week after Travis Henry gained 143 yards against them, and teams are going to run at Philadelphia's defense until it starts stopping people.

23. San Francisco 49ers [20] — Shut down Marc Bulger and got another huge game from Frank Gore, but lost anyway because they couldn't stop the run. Steven Jackson ran for 121 yards with a 5.3 average, and the Rams even got 25 yards and a 5.0 average from Stephen Davis, who I thought was retired. The Niners need to find some more weapons for Alex Smith this offseason, but they also need to get some players for that defense.

24. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [22] — Bruce Gradkowski had the worst game of his young pro career, throwing for 120 yards with two interceptions and no touchdowns. The defense didn't play any better, making Romo look like Roger Staubach or Troy Aikman as he tied the Cowboys' team record for touchdown passes in a game. Romo's record-tying pass was deposited by Terrell Owens in the Salvation Army donation bucket, a nice gesture on the Thanksgiving holiday.

25. Atlanta Falcons [18] — Haven't scored more than 14 points in a game during their 0-for-November, four-game losing streak. After Vick showed both middle fingers to his own fans after Sunday's game, I'd like to reiterate that the team needs to look for a new head coach. Jim Mora, Jr., may have great defensive schemes, but coaching involves interpersonal skills, too, and Mora is too immature to be a head coach at this level. That's trickled down to his players, and Vick in particular. Not only has the Falcons QB failed to develop during Mora's tenure, he's gotten combative with fans and media. If Vick doesn't get some better direction soon, his amazing potential could be wasted. Vick should be John Elway or Randall Cunningham, not Bobby Douglass.

26. St. Louis Rams [29] — Broke their five-game losing skid with a home win against the 49ers. That's not really reason to celebrate. St. Louis gets to play the Cardinals next week, though, and that might be reason to celebrate.

27. Minnesota Vikings [28] — Both teams had 412 yards of offense, but the Vikings were better on third down (7-of-15), better in the red zone (80%), and better in turnover margin (+4). That they still won by less than a touchdown is a real discredit to their pass defense.

28. Cleveland Browns [26] — Coming off an energizing upset over the Falcons, they've lost to their biggest rival and in-state division opponent in consecutive weeks, getting blown out and embarrassed against Cincinnati. Pass protection was a big part of the problem, but Charlie Frye has got to do a better job of protecting the football. If Ben Roethlisberger weren't such a turnover machine, Frye would lead the NFL in interceptions this season.

29. Oakland Raiders [30] — They've been losing by respectable scores to good opponents, and should probably be ranked higher than this, but until they start actually winning games — and home against Houston this week is a good opportunity — it's hard to move them up much.

30. Houston Texans [27] — Excluding its inexplicable season sweep of the Jaguars, Houston is 1-8 this season, with a -103 point differential and no wins since Week 4. Every year, the story is the same. The Texans need to improve their offensive line. To succeed in this league, you must be able to run effectively, and you must protect your quarterback. Houston can't do either.

31. Arizona Cardinals [31] — Capitalized on the Vikings' poor pass defense by running only five times (for 17 yards). Matt Leinart threw 51 times for 405 yards, with Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin combining for over 300. Arizona's defense wasn't up to the task, however. The Cardinals rank 30th in total defense.

32. Detroit Lions [32] — If anything could be more painful than watching Joey Harrington beat them at Ford Field, it was a glimpse of what the team looks like without Kevin Jones. The Lions had just 21 yards on the ground, and no rushing first downs. With Miami keying on pass defense, Jon Kitna was sacked eight times. And to cap everything off, the Lions had three false start penalties in their own stadium.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 8:37 PM | Comments (0)

How to Save the WNBA

Seeing as how we are in the midst of crunch time in the NFL, the start of a new college basketball season, and more than a month into the NBA and NHL seasons, I'm going to tackle the hottest topic in sports — the WNBA.

Okay, that may be a stretch, but it doesn't have to be. Sure, the WNBA is not popular. To most sports fans, especially males, the WNBA is actually more useful as a punch line than as a professional sports operation.

I don't consider myself extremely popular, but I don't know a single person who has ever seen a WNBA game. In fact, during a completely unscientific poll of 78 popular people, only three claimed to know someone who's watched a game and even those three finished their statements by asking "wait, you said NBA, right?" So while it's not big now, it doesn't always have to be that way. With a few quick simple fixes, the WNBA could quickly establish itself as the next great major sports league.

There will be people who read that last sentence and laugh, and rightfully so. Last time I checked, the WNBA TV ratings were below the XFL (granted I haven't checked the ratings since February 2001, but it's not like a lot's changed since then, right?). Still, the people laughing now will be the ones fighting for spots on the bandwagon in a matter of months. So how does a league go from the bottom of the barrel to the cream of the crop so quickly? Just by following these 10 easy steps.

1) Playing Against Men

I know that the WNBA is fundamentally sound basketball. I get it that the college and pro "ballers" forget some of the finer points of the game. I'm even willing to accept that this formulaic style of play is appealing to someone, somewhere. Still, you will never be able to sell the product without at least an exhibition against men. People need to know not only that the WNBA has these great fundamentally sound players, but that those fundamentals translate into winning basketball.

Detractors like to joke with their un-athletic friends that they could field a team and beat a WNBA squad and this line of thinking needs to end. Simply put, the WNBA needs to play an exhibition against men just to prove the product is deserving of legions of new fans. A win like that would bring instant credibility to the level of play.

The big question now is, where do you find this team? You can't put the Detroit Shock up against the Detroit Pistons and you might not even feel comfortable putting them against the local college teams. Fortunately, I've found just the team for them be the WNBA whipping boy. A team that has lost more than 1,000 consecutive games. A team that last recorded a win in an intra-squad scrimmage and hasn't won a game since in franchise history. That team is the New York Nationals, the team who drew the unfortunate luck of playing the Harlem Globetrotters night in and night out.

This way, a WNBA team gets to notch a win over a professional team of basketball playing men. Surely, they can't lose to a team that doesn't know the first thing about winning. Heck, the Nationals haven't won a game in 10+ years and they haven't even fired their coach, it's like this team's sole purpose is to consistently lose. Whatever the case may be, it's one a WNBA team needs to take advantage of.

2) Attacking Potential Fans

I have no doubt that every executive in the WNBA marketing and advertising wing think it's bad practice to attack potential fans. Of course, it wouldn't need fixing if it wasn't broken, so it's time for those executives to do something fresh. The real goal of the marketing folks should be to bring people into arenas or to their TVs and let the product do the rest. An easy way to accomplish this with men is the same way most women get things from men — a guilt trip. What do slogans like "We got next" or "Have you seen her?" do? Every advertisement should easily convey the message to men that if they don't give the WNBA a shot, it's because they are outrageously sexist.

TV ads could depict a group of men set in some 1950s setup talking about how women are inferior. When the wife comes into the room to suggest they all attend a women's basketball game later, the men can all laugh before one of them says, "Women shouldn't be playing basketball, they should just be grateful we let them vote!" Enough of this and some men will be obligated to give it a try, and then surely they will be hooked for life.

3) Fire

The first league that can bring the passion of college sports to the professional stage will be one of the most successful endeavors in sports history. For some reason, college sports never seem to lack that passion and pro sports have never been able to capture it. What is it that college sports have that pro sports don't? Fire. For instance, after Ohio State beat Texas earlier this season, there were about 35 fires around the Columbus campus. If they had lost, that number may have doubled (or not, burning things doesn't seem to be contingent upon winning or losing).

If the WNBA wants to capture that attitude and passion, they need to start fires. Lots of them. To make things simple the league could adopt a formula used by plenty of other teams and have a group of fans win a chance to watch the game from "the best seat in the house," which is usually a sofa near the court. After the game, torch the sofa.

I can't think of a single group of people that would oppose a post-game bonfire. Families can make smores, coeds always love playing with fire, and the local fire department can handle the cleanup as a practice. No other league does this and no other league has been able to bring the college passion to their sport. Coincidence? Absolutely not. Note to WNBA execs: Smokey the Bear says only you can prevent unimaginable growth.

4) Ritual Sacrifice

NASCAR is one of the most successful sports operations in America. Tens of thousands attend races and millions more watch on TV. There's no denying its massive boom in popularity, NASCAR is where it is at. What's the secret to their success? Recently, the FDNY released a report claiming that six people on average die while attending a NASCAR race weekend. I can't think of a single sport that has that sort of a spectator death rate, but I also can't think of a sport experiencing anything close the population surge NASCAR's experiencing.

NASCAR supporters claim this sort of thing happens when you get thousands of people in one place, but the WNBA can't rely on that until the fans start catching on. In the meantime, ritual sacrifice looks like the way to go. How they do it should be up to each franchise in order to establish some local flavor. If they are looking for ideas, the main causes of death at races are heart attacks, fires, injuries, and auto accidents in and around the tracks.

5) Isiah Thomas

He needs to become the new president of the league. It's really a move that works out well for both parties. It's only a matter of time before the Knicks get tired of failure and it would be best for Thomas to leave on his own terms. What better move than rescuing a league that many thought was unsalvageable? This works out well for the WNBA, too.

The argument can be made that Thomas doesn't exactly have a Midas touch as his greatest managerial feat was bankrupting the Continental Basketball Association exceptionally fast. To me, that just means he's due to start making some genius decisions. The guy has done nothing but fail as a manager and can't possibly be this bad, so he's ready for a breakout performance. Don't look at his track record to rationalize this move, look at his enormous upside.

6) Steroid Controversy

I think it's pretty clear these days that you aren't a major professional sport until your league president gets called to the capital to be humiliated by congressmen. Bonus: the video from Isiah Thomas getting grilled by senators will make for a well-spent trip to YouTube.

7) Street Cred

NBA players only become stars after they've established some street cred. If the common fan doesn't respect the player, then there's no hope in successful marketing. The Pacers have Stephen Jackson firing shots at a vehicle that struck him outside a strip club and I can't remember the last time a WNBA player was even caught firing a water pistol. There should be two players on every roster now who should spend the offseason lying, stealing, and cheating until they establish enough cred to start selling shoes. A few incidents of abuse (drug, spousal, it doesn't matter) would really help the league resonate with the "cool kids." What does it say about your league when you can't buy the championship ring of a fallen star on eBay?

8) Cheerleaders

Not much to say on this one except can you think of a league created in the past 15 years that was able to succeed without cheerleaders? Didn't think so. Also, don't be cute with this and reason that since it's women playing the game that men should be the cheerleaders. At least do it like college teams and have a number of attractive girls and diminutive guys.

9) Professional Wrestling

Dennis Rodman and Karl Malone once fought in the squared circle as part of a WCW tag team match long before the WWE conquered wrestling. Since that match, the NBA has only grown in popularity and seems healthier today than it has been in years. I'm sure this wrestling match had little to do with those results, but as successful people like to say, every little bit helps.

Of course, for a woman to fight in the WWE these days, it pretty much has to be in some sort of match focusing solely on ripping the other person's clothes off. If they feel they are too highbrow for that, they could always go to the organization that is quickly rising in popularity and is destined to corner the fighting market: the UFC. It would only take a girl or two to step into the octagon to boost popularity of the entire league.

10) Internet Advertising

No one has ever mastered Internet advertising and the WNBA could see a boost in name recognition if they became the first. If you want to reach the majority of web users, then you have to cover all your bases and take some chances. Really, what type of content dominates the web? Pornography. Anyone can advertise on major sports and news websites, but cast the net wider and you're sure to reach more potential fans.

If the WNBA can follow these simple steps, I guarantee that Isiah Thomas and company will be enjoying all that comes with being recognized worldwide as one of the most popular sports leagues. The fish are there and are just waiting for the WNBA execs to pickup the rod.

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 8:01 PM | Comments (0)

November 27, 2006

AFC Tie-Breakers and Titty Twisters

After a fairly chalk Week 12, the NFC playoff race is still on course. The top four are comfortably seeded, and though the Giants imploded against Tennessee (and then in the media — got to love New York), there really isn't any other team capable of knocking them out of the playoff picture. Still, I think Tom Coughlin gets canned after this season.

As for the second wildcard slot in the NFC, it will come down to who kills their team the least: Mike Vick or Jake Delhomme. I've still got my money on Vick, but it's really up in the air.

Now in the AFC, the situation is far more interesting, prompting my annual Google search for the NFL tie-breaker policy. Five teams are definitively out of it: Cleveland, Houston, Oakland, Pittsburgh, and Tennessee. (Even if the Titans run the table, nine wins still isn't going to get it done in the AFC. Too bad, too. Vince Young is the playoffs would have been fun.)

So that leaves 11 teams for six spots. There's a definite top three in San Diego, Baltimore, and Indianapolis. And New England should be able to hold the AFC East with relative ease. After that, it's like a battle for position at a strip club shower scene. A single moment of lost focus, and you're standing at the back of the pack, a bunch of guys having a way better time than you.

(You know, I'm never going to make it big with analogies like that. Oh well.)

The race, again in reverse order of hope:

11. Buffalo Bills (5-6) — Kudos to Marv Levy and Dick Jauron for making the best of a very poor situation. Their draft has turned out great, J.P. Losman has finally started to make strides, the special teams are above average, and the defense has the potential to become dominant. Another good draft, and it could be a much different story this time next season.

10. Jacksonville Jaguars (6-5) — I'm dropping them below the Dolphins because there's a legitimate shot they lose all five remaining games, starting this week in Miami. Even if the Jags do manage to win three games out of their last four (Indianapolis, at Tennessee, New England, at Kansas City), they would still have five or six losses within the conference, the second level wildcard tie-breaker after head-to-head. And even if everything happens perfectly and the Jags make up their one game against Kansas City, they would still have to go to Arrowhead for the season finale and win. That's asking a lot.

9. Miami (5-6) — Even if they run the table with an opponents' winning percentage of 64% (toughest in the field), I still don't think 10 wins gets it done. I guess not having a top-10 pick will have to be consolation enough for blowing the Daunte Culpepper/Drew Brees decision. (Hmmmm ... let's see ... do I want the filet and lobster or two-week-old rotting ham sandwich? You know what, I think I'll go with the sandwich.)

8. Cincinnati (6-5) — Lose the battle for last-man-out to the Jets thanks to a much tough schedule (Baltimore, Oakland, at Indianapolis, at Denver, Pittsburgh). World beware — Chris Henry is about to have a lot of free time on his hands.

7. NY Jets (6-5) — Last man out ends up tied with Denver and Kansas City, but loses the final tie-breaker to Denver (who loses its own tie-breaker to Kansas City — see below). Still, great job Eric Mangini, who should win coach of the year. Their draft call of not trading the farm for Reggie Bush, then using their two first-rounders on the top-rated tackle and center was the catalyst for their resurgence. (Well, that and letting Herman Edwards go.)

6. Denver (7-4) — Here's the deal on the Chiefs/Broncos tie-breaker, which really only affects seeding, since San Diego now has a two-game advantage in the division with an easier schedule than the other two:

Both Denver and Kansas City play at San Diego, Broncos in Week 14, Chiefs in Week 15. Assuming both lose (San Diego is 5-0 at home this season), it would come down to their other four games. Denver has Seattle, at Arizona, Cincinnati, San Francisco. Kansas City has at Cleveland, Baltimore, at Oakland, Jacksonville.

Both teams are capable of winning those four other games, though with Jay Cutler taking over in Denver, there's always the risk that one rookie mistake can cost them the whole thing. But as long as Cutler stays steady, both teams would finish 11-5 and tied for second in the AFC West.

With the teams split head-to-head, the second tie-breaker for teams within the same division is the record against other division teams. A Kansas City win at Oakland in Week 16 would make them 4-2 in the division, which, if Denver loses at San Diego, would give the Chiefs the tie-breaker over the Broncos, who would finish 3-3 in the division.

So, it really depends on who you think has a better shot, Chiefs at Raiders or Broncos at Chargers. Advantage Chiefs.

5. Kansas City (7-4) — With the above explanation in mind, the Chiefs become the five seed and play at the fourth-ranked division winner, likely to be ...

4. New England (8-3) — With a one game hole in the standings to Baltimore, and a two-game hole in conference record to the Ravens if the two should finish tied, the Pats become the fourth seed, hosting Kansas City for the pleasure of facing the Colts in Indianapolis. "Adam Vinatieri lines up for the kick to save the Colts and break the hearts of New England fans around the world ... snap is good, hold is good, kick is up, kick is ... wide right. Wide right! He missed it! He missed it! Pats win! Oh my god, PATS WIN!"

3. Baltimore (9-2) — If they finished tied with San Diego, the Ravens would get the two-seed and bye based on their home win over the Chargers in Week 4. I think they finish 12-4, Chargers 13-3, and the Ravens get to host Cutler and the Broncos on wildcard weekend (then fly across the country for a rematch against Philip and The LaDainians).

2. San Diego (9-2) — They could very well run the table, finish 14-2 and tied for best record with Indy. (Or the Colts could lose more than one game and finish second. It could happen. I'm just not ready to predict it.) But even if they finish tied with the Colts, they lose the tie-breaker based on conference record.

1. Indianapolis (10-1) — After Rex Grossman's Foxborough Follies, there's no question the Colts are the best team in the NFL, and certainly the best offense (especially with Joseph Addai running the best he has all season). Overall, this sets up to be the Colts' best shot to win it all. Will it happen? At this point, I'd root for Manning to win as long as he promised to never make another commercial for the rest of his life. (Every time I see one it's like an emotional titty twister.) Barring that, I hope he gets gangrene.

Wildcard Weekend: Baltimore over Denver; New England over Kansas City (The return of Ty Law and Larry Johnson make this a bad match-up for the Pats. Very bad. I'm picking on a prayer here.)

Divisional: San Diego over Baltimore; Indianapolis over New England (I feel sick.)

AFC Championship: San Diego over Indianapolis (Great matchup for the Chargers. Their pressure defense and great running game are the perfect counters for the Colts' offensive firepower.)

Super Bowl: Cowboys over Chargers. Tuna rides off into the sunset, Terrell Owens shows up drunk at Donovan McNabb's house and drops a Najeh Davenport on his front steps. (I think I stole that last line from Bill Simmons. Thanks, Bill. You're the best.)

One last note: Last week, I called St. Louis Post-Dispatch columnist Bernie Miklasz "a fat idiot who wears nerd glasses" because I read one of his columns criticizing Rams head coach Scott Linehan as a wish for the good old days of Mike Martz. Bernie says he in fact does not wish for the return of Mad Mike. And though he is overweight (as am I, though less so), I'm going to have to retract the "fat idiot" part. That just wasn't very nice. (I'm sticking with the nerd glasses thing, though.)

Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis, MO. His weekly NFL picks and daily NCAA men's basketball picks can be found at The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 9:46 PM | Comments (0)

To Each His Own Shade of Green

In the city where I grew up, there is an allure with the Friday after Thanksgiving that brings both residents and expatriates together in an annual rekindling of friendships that were long ago separated by the tugs of college and growing up. In keeping with the native tradition, this past Friday evening found me back home in a sports pub at an impromptu rendezvous with some old friends, the product of carryover euphoria generated by our high school reunion this past summer.

We filled two tables in a corner by the window, right under one of five widescreens about the pub. Conversation was energetic and laced with reminiscences, while Shrek was broadcasting just above our heads to a casually attentive audience of toddler-aged parents occupying some interior tables or passing through to the head. A friend at our table has a son who just graduated boot camp, so we called it the head all night.

As we waited on appetizers, a member of our party grew restless and sought out someone who could flip on the Celtics/Knicks game. I urged him to relax, knowing the tempering effects the Celtics have on a potentially good time. Things were fine until two guys sat down at a nearby table. They asked for two beers and the Celtics game before even taking their menus.

These days, it is almost impossible to go into any establishment in New England and find two distinct parties both wanting Celtics basketball on the widescreen, sports pubs included. However, some hysteria still lingered after a recent three-game winning streak that brought Boston within a game of the Atlantic Division lead. So the game was tuned in — on all five screens.

A change immediately came over our party. Sentences were stopping in mid-thought, eyes were looking up or beyond the table for the latest score update. It was then that I realized how far I'd grown apart from the others. My friends are still Celtics fans, while I have moved on.

Sure, I prefer Boston to win. I also prefer onion rings with my burger, but when the waitress brought mine with fries, I didn't scrape them off. And if I had to look up and see green on the widescreen all night, I'd prefer it be Shrek.

For my indifference, I endure the tongue-lashings of friends who feel betrayed by my disloyalty to the franchise that bestowed us with two championships during our high school years. Of course, it wasn't entirely my decision to part ways. I've grown, and so have expectations for me to forge long-term plans and make all those necessary alterations along the way to provide for my dependents. Although I'm held accountable for the bottom line, I've learned that the processes I employ in getting there have a lot to do with building trust.

Yet the Celtics, through a succession of incongruous front office and court leadership, have become a perennial re-inventor of the wheel. For over a decade, they've lacked any sense of a rebuilding plan, even as the Los Angeles Lakers are underway with their second championship-caliber remodel. High first-round draft picks that come with constant losing line their rosters like toys line the FAO Schwarz shelves in preparation for the Christmas shopping season. More often than not, these picks are like so much inventory used to acquire overvalued veterans — Vitaly Potapenko, Kenny Anderson, Vin Baker, Jiri Welsch, Raef LaFrentz, Ricky Davis — who, in turn, breed further losing seasons. Last year's was their 10th in the past 13.

Those who stay — 10 members of the 15-man active roster are 24 or younger, nine of whom have two years or less NBA experience — are prone to the curses of youth: defensive lapses, bad shot selection, inconsistent play, easily broken intensity.

Friday's game was a typical of this syndrome, with Boston taking an early lead, losing it, going up by eight in the second quarter, yet finding themselves down by five at half-time. They fell apart completely in the second half and lost by 24 to a 4-9 Knicks squad who they had beaten 15 times in their previous 21 meetings. Epitomizing the impatience and inexperience of youth, Boston continued settling for treys rather than working the ball low, hitting on just 4-of-21 all night. In the never-settled world of Celtics basketball, 12 men split action, ranging from 9 to 32 minutes.

Yet, despite falling to 4-8, Boston would remain one game behind the first-place New Jersey Nets by the end of the night, and that was cause for merriment. With the distraction removed, the widescreen was tuned back to the movie channel where Shrek II was now airing, and we resumed our reunion festivities. Before parting, I joined in the group resolution to keep in touch with the old friends, although I'm not yet ready to include the Celtics in that group.

Posted by Bob Ekstrom at 9:30 PM | Comments (0)

Down to the Wire ... Again

With only one week left in the 2006 college football regular season, it is looking like the BCS will once again escape any major controversy. This will happen because after USC's 44-24 victory over Notre Dame, the Trojans have the inside track to face Ohio State in the BCS title game on January 8, 2007. They are now 10-1 with only their rival UCLA left to play. There are some that believe the even if the Trojans win out, they are not worthy to play in the national title game over Michigan.

Upon further review, the case can be made that the Trojans truly are the nation's second best team. First, check out their non-conference schedule. Though they lost to Oregon State (who by the way is 8-4), the Trojans have beaten Arkansas, Nebraska, and now Notre Dame. Arkansas and Nebraska are playing in the SEC and Big 12 championship games, respectively, and Notre Dame is 10-2.

Compare that to the non-conference schedule of Michigan's. The Wolverines have faced Vanderbilt, Central Michigan, Notre Dame, and Ball State. With the exception of Notre Dame, those teams don't exactly scream out powerhouse to you. If that's not enough, the Trojans have faced and defeated Oregon, California, and Notre Dame over the past three weeks, while Michigan has defeated Northwestern, Ball State, and Indiana before losing to Ohio State.

Personally, I am a Michigan fan. But Michigan had their shot, and they didn't defeat the Buckeyes. In the absence of a true Division I playoff system, teams can only make their case on the field, when given the opportunity. While the first UM/OSU game was a classic, I am not so sure the second game will be as close of a game. The past is littered with examples (Florida vs. FSU, etc.) of classic games whose rematches let the public down.

While the rivalry of Ohio State versus Michigan is there, USC also has storylines, such as the Trojans trying to win their third title in four years or how the Trojans have constantly reloaded over this period and have achieved a 55-3 record over their last 58 games.

In conclusion, the truth of the matter is that a playoff system is needed. Every year, the BCS comes closer and closer to complete and utter chaos. Since there is no playoff system in place for the foreseeable future, we get to debate who should play for the national title every year.

While this is fun and always exciting, I would love to see the top eight in the BCS standings battle each other out on the field. That way we could see these wonderful matchups and have a true championship where the yearly cries of some team who feels that they were left out of the national title discussion. This season, however, the most likely matchup, barring any unforeseen upsets, for the national title is the University of Southern California versus Ohio State. Go Trojans. See, I told you I was a Michigan fan.

Posted by Alfons Prince at 9:10 PM | Comments (2)

November 25, 2006

Reflections on an NFL Road Trip

My trip to Cleveland, Ohio

Why not? After annual trips to Baltimore, Maryland and the playoff victory last season in Cincinnati, it was time to complete the division tour.

The Steelers were defending their first world championship in 26 seasons and Cleveland has always been a good place to hope for a Steelers win. Throw in a college rivalry in Michigan vs. Ohio State that is older than the NFL, NHL, the Yankees, and the aspirin you'll need to recover from hanging out with Ohio State fans, and this was a must see.

It was an eventful day in downtown Cleveland. Surrounded by blocks and blocks of crazy Ohio State fans, I found a spot at the bar named "Blind Pig." Wearing Steelers gear was probably not the smartest idea. Most were also Browns fans. Although some comments were coming our way, most fans were focused on another team that day. I finally realized the glory of Ohio football is at the collegiate level.

Spending the day in a bar filled with the home state's No. 1 nationally ranked team and watching them beat their biggest and oldest rival was a special thing to see.

The Ohio State/Browns fans said "we'll worry about you tomorrow," to which I returned, "no problem; I'd rather watch you win today." We both agreed.

Speaking of Ohio State fans, my favorite of them all...

Santonio Holmes' Big Day

Santonio Holmes showed on draft day that he wanted to be a Pittsburgh Steeler. By pulling a terrible towel out of his bag when he was announced, he was going to a place he felt he could call a home. He liked the team since he was a child and now had the opportunity to begin his career as the third wideout for the defending champions.

Things haven't quite worked out for either Pittsburgh or for Santonio. The Steelers have accumulated more losses than all of last season, including the additional four playoff games. A large part of the "why" could be blamed on the poor play of the special teams. Santonio has struggled holding onto the football on punt returns.

Those that have watched Santonio play at Ohio State were not used to this, not from Holmes. Maybe a return trip to his old college state would ignite the player the fans proudly defended.

Homes said, "I stayed in the hotel last night and watched Ohio State win and earn a shot for another championship. I couldn't wait until Sunday to get out here to prove that the Pittsburgh Steelers are a good team. It's great to come back to Ohio and play for a good team."

Five catches, 75 yards, and a huge fourth-quarter touchdown catch later, I'd say he did his part.

Troy Polamalu

On defense, there is one player so special he continues to stun even his biggest supporters. Or as Larry Foote put it, "He showed the little something extra he has inside him that the rest of us don't."

Apparently, what is inside is a closing speed better than anyone else in the league. "I don't know if even Michael Johnson or some of the other great sprinters in the world have Troy's speed for 10 yards," Foote said. "There's nobody else as fast as he is for those first 10 yards."

He showed this twice in Cleveland. Once, on a crucial fourth-quarter drive with the surging Steelers trailing 20-17 and four minutes left in the game. He proceeded to take over the entire drive, which could have ended the game with a first down. He was the one who broke up a second down run for a minimal 2-yard gain. He capped it off with a great display of instincts by timing a Charlie Frye's third down pass and batting it to the ground.

"I've been playing football a long time and I've never seen anyone make plays like he makes," Foote said of Polamalu. "I'm seeing plays that I'll never see again."

Some of his best plays go unnoticed by the NFL at large. These particular ones showed just how clutch he can play.

What the general public misses is how crucial Troy is to the team. Take a look at a second quarter play in which Polamalu ran down Braylon Edwards after a 63-yard gain, Not only did this save a touchdown, the four points they saved by holding the Browns to a field goal were the difference in the game. Truth be told, Troy Polamalu was the difference in the game.

Next Up: Road Trip to Baltimore

Have traveled to every stadium in the AFC North, I'd say I have the worst time in Baltimore. Maybe it is because the Steelers have not won in the three years I have attended, but also because their coach takes his motivation tactics into the stands. For the third straight season, Coach Brian Billick requested that Ravens fans keep their tickets so they don't end up in the hands of Steelers fans.

Understandably, Billick would like to keep the number of Steelers fans to a minimum. Expressing this is a dangerous thing to do.

"Fans that are going to sell their tickets this week, to the other fans around them, this is pretty much a declaration," he said. "You've got to respect them for doing it, but at 8-2 and the way we're going right now, if the guy next to you has doled his ticket out to some Steelers fan, he's pretty much showed his colors."

Coach, maybe you already did the favor. The fact that you have to publicly make that statement is a testament to your fan base.

That conversation would never have to happen in Pittsburgh.

Hines Ward

Hines Ward is listed as questionable against the division-leading Baltimore Ravens this weekend. Ward has missed only one game to injury in his nine-year NFL career — last season at home against Jacksonville.

Are the Ravens Looking Ahead of the Steelers?

"They know, they are very cognizant," Billick explained. "I don't mind them thinking about, 'hey, what would it be like to have home-field advantage? What would it be like to have a bye?'"

At 8-2, and holding the No. 2 spot in the AFC (they'd win the head-to-head tiebreaker against San Diego), the Ravens have all the reason to look ahead of the Steelers. For one, they play the Defending AFC North division champion Cincinnati Bengals just four days later. It would appear that the Bengals at 5-5 are more of a threat for the division lead.

As for the Steelers, the option isn't there. One more loss would all but eliminate the Steelers from playoff contention.

"There's no tomorrow," Ward said. "We know what's at stake."

Posted by Kevin Ferra at 11:48 PM | Comments (0)

November 24, 2006

Forsberg and the Flyers: Fight or Flight?

So, after reconsidering my previous position on the unlikelihood of the Philadelphia Flyers dealing Forsberg elsewhere [1], I have to say that although not fully sold on the idea, I think it is becoming more of a possibility.

The more the Flyers solidify their status as basement dwellers this season, and considering Forsberg's contract expires at the end of it, it's not outlandish to assume that at some point the front office is going to have to re-examine the way they approach the remainder of the season. ("Reexamining" a mere euphemism for "trade Forsberg.")

Now, it's apparent that with the evicting of Bobby Clarke and Ken Hitchcock that, indeed, the front office has been busy re-examining. But if the team's slide continues, they're going to have to swallow the realization that, for the first time in over a decade, they ain't making the playoffs. And with that understanding comes the need to rebuild the team around speed and finesse and youth, which will ultimately yield versatility. (Bye, bye bruisers!)

Ridding of Forsberg will open up salary cap room to spend more freely on lower-priced skaters; his high trade value increases the chances of the Flyers receiving some good talent in return for whom some believe to be the best all-around hockey player to ever lace up the skates.

I still don't truly believe the Flyers trading Forsberg is the best thing — he transcends the conventional image of consistent (when he's healthy, a problem on its own) and has had no trouble adjusting to the rule changes in the NHL on either side of the puck — but that doesn't mean they won't bid farewell to each other. At some point, management will have to make a tough decision: keep Forsberg and hope it all turns around or part ways and look to the future. There are good outcomes from either choice.

No answer is absolute. Although, one solution would be to try to dump marginal players — by trade, or waivers, or flat out cutting them (Kyle Calder's lousy start makes his acquisition questionable) — keep your big guns (Simon Gagne, Mike Richards, et al.) and campaign to resign No. 21 on the basis that the team is going to leave behind its archaic tactics and foster a team that can compete.

But to convince Forsberg to stay (if he's not traded, of course), the Flyers are going to have to take those steps sooner than later; he grows more brittle by the game. But that is a task easier said than done. The Flyers don't have a wealth of depth to offer in trades that will bring in better talent. Sadly, the Flyers' only reasonable bargaining chip is Forsberg (isolated even more by Gagne's pre-season contract extension).

And that will take work. It will take a good general manager who knows the league, has a good reputation and solid relationships with other GMs in the league; but it can happen. This week NHL GMs are meeting in Toronto and you'd be a fool to think Flyers interim-GM Paul Holmgren hasn't been working the line for potential moves, discussing prospective exchanges for Forsberg.

The Flyers are also in a more advantageous situation than most NHL clubs because they have the luxury of sharing a parking lot with their minor league affiliate. The new NHL has proven that home brewing talent inside the farm system is the best method of team advancement. Cite Buffalo, as almost everyone has, as a case study for effective team development.

The draft is also more important now because the Joe Thorntons and Marion Hossas of the hockey world are retaining their value and teams are becoming reluctant to let them go. The Washington Capitals and the Pittsburgh Penguins have utilized their draft choices better than most, due in part to their horrendous finishes in previous seasons. Regardless, they have made solid draft picks and are now fighting their way back to the post-season promise land.

The Flyers acquired Richards, Jeff Carter and Gagne, while holding later picks. Their amateur scouting crew has to take the reins and adjust from the inside out. If the Sabres and Penguins and Capitals can do it — two teams in small-money markets and one in a city where even apathy loses to indifference — then the Flyers, with their stature in the NHL and bottomless pit of a checkbook, can do it too.

Still, if not Forsberg, then who? Well, one name floating around the NHL has been Forsberg's and Gagne's linemate, Mike Knuble. Knuble has enhanced his value since coming to Philadelphia after the lockout. Last year, he had a career year with 65 points (34 goals, 31 assists), his prior best being 59 in 2002-2003 with the Boston Bruins. But reservations about Knuble's offensive production (which is responsible for his worth) are warranted. In his 10th year in the league, and with his fourth team, is Knuble's offensive surfacing anything more than a result of finding himself at the right side of Peter the Great?

The most obvious flaw in the Flyers' roster is their lead-footed defense. Writer after writer (including this author) has excoriated Bob Clarke for bringing in the all-but-expired Derian Hatcher and Mike Rathje — collectively, the two have one assist and are minus-24. But the one defenseman who has rarely, if at all, found himself under the microscope of scrutiny is Joni Pitkanen. A beacon for draft practices that were not Clarke's regular forte, Pitkanen was chauffeured into the league and portrayed as part of the next generation of NHL blue-liners. But his tendency to rush the puck and his lack of defensive zone awareness routinely put him out of position.

Need an example, how about the Flyers' first overtime loss to the Sabres in the first round of the 2005-2006 playoffs? Pitkanen, looking like a bush-leaguer, blindly ignored the winger who crept in backdoor and buried the game winner, beginning the end of the Flyers' season. (Defensemen learn in pee-wee hockey to "swivel" their heads when in front of their own net to stop that exact play!)

Pitkanen is young, mobile, and negotiable — save for his habit of acting like a cat fixated on a ball of yarn. His four years pro experience (three with the Flyers) have proved mediocre. If the opportunity presents itself, Holmgren should jump on it and bring in a more defensive-minded player to seal the cracks Clarke created.

But back top main crux. Does Forsberg leave? Perhaps. Who knows? Forsberg is like the great players of hockey — Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux, Mark Messier, and in a few years, Sidney Crosby — he makes those around him better. The Flyers, whose lack of goal scoring is confounding (ahead of only the Columbus Blue Jackets in goals for), would be wise to consider the repercussions of shipping the one player who is always scoring and helping his teammates do the same. But smarter NHL columnists with incredible access suggest Forsberg's departure is imminent (Google "E.J. Hradek"). Either way, stay or go, the Flyers are in a mess. Fortunately, for them, it's fixable.

[1]: A position first vocalized around the office water cooler, it consisted of steadfast adherence that the Flyers will definitely not trade Forsberg to help revamp the team. It sounded something like, "You don't rid of your best player after a shoddy first-third of a season to try and salvage the remainder. Accepting your playoff-less fate and rebuild for next year, yes, but not now."

Posted by Jeff DiNunzio at 11:52 PM | Comments (1)

November 23, 2006

A Closer Look: NBA Notebook

* The biggest news this past offseason was the defection of Ben Wallace from the Detroit Pistons to the Chicago Bulls. A few weeks into the season, it seems as if it was much ado about nothing. The Bulls were already one of the top defensive teams in the league last season, so adding the two-time reigning defensive player of the year only made the team stronger in an area of strength.

* Instead of overspending for the one-dimensional Wallace, the Bulls may have been better off keeping Tyson Chandler, a younger defensive center, while spending the money used on Wallace to find a more consistent scoring threat to pair with Ben Gordon. The team would be much more well-rounded and besides, something tells me that an aging center with declining skills and no ability on offense is not going to be worth a $60 million dollar investment over four years.

* Can you name the leading scorer on the Sacramento Kings? Mike Bibby? No, guess again. Ron Artest? No, keep going. Brad Miller? Shareef Abdur-Rahim? Nice try, but no. The leading scorer on the Kings is none other than Kevin Martin. Yes, Kevin Martin — and he's for real. He was a scorer in college and showed last year that he could put the ball in the basket when he filled in for the injured Bonzi Wells.

Still, most people who drafted Martin in their fantasy drafts were probably a little peeved initially because they were most likely attempting to select Kenyon Martin of the Denver Nuggets. All's well that ends well, however, as Kenyon is done for the year due to another injury, while Kevin should be a household name by year's end. Don't make a similar mistake next year, fantasy basketball players. You wouldn't want to end up with Kenyon Martin.

* Speaking of the real deal, I hope nobody's overlooking the Utah Jazz. Although it's early in the season, there isn't any reason to think that Utah's hot start is a fluke. The team has four players scoring over 12 a game and six players scoring over nine a game.

The crazy part is that none of these players is Andrei Kirilenko, Utah's best all-around player. Utah's front line is not only big, but very versatile. Carlos Boozer and Mehmet Okur can both score down low and can both step out to hit the jumper. Moreover, there are few better rebounders than Boozer and few big men that possess the shooting range of Okur.

Kirilenko, when healthy, can do it all-step out and hit the three, block the shot of anyone on the court, menace the offense into a turnover, and finish on the break. In the backcourt, Deron Williams is playing off-the-charts, like he did in his final season at the University of Illinois and is making Utah fans forget that the team passed on Chris Paul to take him.

Furthermore, the team has a quintet of dependable backups and role players that every championship contender needs. Matt Harpring would be a starter for many teams, yet comes off the bench for Utah and is essential to the team's success considering Kirilenko's history of injuries. Gordan Giricek, a starter last year, now provides instant offense off the bench.

The most intriguing options off the bench are two rookies, swingman Ronnie Brewer and big man Paul Millsap. Brewer is a great athlete who can defend and score a little while Millsap, like Boozer, is a force to be reckoned with on the glass. As a matter of fact, he was college basketball's leading rebounder last year at Karl Malone's alma mater, Louisiana Tech.

Derek Fisher was brought in because Utah management understands how close this team is to winning it all. Fisher, a great defensive point guard with three championship rings and a penchant for hitting big shots, is the player that could put the Jazz over the top. Coach Jerry Sloan is one of the best in the game's history and he knows how to make all of these pieces fit. Yes, the Jazz players have always been injury-prone and surely that's a strike against them. Then again, they haven't been this talented or this deep since they were last contending for a championship in the 1990s.

* Danny Ainge has assembled a roster filled with dynamic, young talent. There are some problems with this, however. First, with so many young players capable of contributing, it becomes difficult for any of them to develop into their full potential in Boston because there just aren't enough minutes to go around.

Second, the team's "Batman," Paul Pierce, and his "Robin," Wally Szczerbiak, are in their primes right now. If the Celtics have the goal of winning with Pierce and Szczerbiak, then they need to move some of this young talent for another star player, such as Kevin Garnett or Jermaine O'Neal. If they want to build around youth, then they need to trade Pierce and Wallyworld for more cap space, draft picks, and young players.

The way it stands now, the Celtics don't have enough around "Batman" and "Robin" to seriously contend for a championship and while the team sits on its hands waiting for the "baby Celtics" to progress, it's two all-stars will inevitably begin to regress.

* Lastly, Orlando center Dwight Howard is a beast on the boards and unguardable down low. When he entered the league, most comparisons were with Kevin Garnett. Yes, he's quick and rangy like K.G., but his game is not as polished. Instead, his game is reminiscent of a young Shaquille O'Neal. He uses his athleticism and strength to push people around under the basket, grab boards, and throw down thunderous dunks. If he develops a jump shot like Garnett did, he will no longer just be unguardable down low, but this K.G./Shaq hybrid might be just plain unguardable.

Posted by Kiarash Banisadre at 9:17 PM | Comments (0)

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 12 (Pt. 2)

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Arizona @ Minnesota

The Cardinals got 96 yards rushing from Edgerrin James and two touchdowns from Matt Leinart in their 17-10 defeat of the Lions, Arizona's second win of the year. They improved to 2-8, tied with the Lions and Raiders for the worst record in the league.

"Unfortunately, we now hold the tiebreaker over the Lions," says Leinart. "But we did lose to the Raiders earlier this year. So we're in good shape for the No. 1 pick next year. Can we draft a coach, possibly one nicknamed 'Mooch?' Or maybe an offensive lineman? My lifestyle requires protection, on the field and off. Obviously, we're not going to the Super Bowl, or the Burger King Bobble Bowl, for that matter."

Minnesota lost their fourth-straight game, falling 24-20 to the Dolphins despite holding them to only four yards rushing.

"Apparently, we made the right decisions about Daunte Culpepper and Randy Moss," says Vikings' owner Zygi Wilf. "Daunte's on the bench in Miami and Randy is nowhere to be found. Now, the decisions to sign Brad Johnson and Chester Taylor looked good at first, but lately, they've been scoring for the other team and not us. There is absolutely no reason to lose a game in which you hold the other team to four yards rushing."

The Vikes should break their four-game skid against the Cardinals. James won't get anywhere near his Week 11 rush total against Minnesota. Chester Taylor rushes for 138 yards and a score, and Johnson throws for two touchdowns.

Vikings win, 27-13.

Carolina @ Washington

The Panthers held the high-powered Rams attack scoreless, allowing only 111 total yards in a 15-0 win over St. Louis in Charlotte. Carolina sacked Marc Bulger seven times and Steve Smith scored on a 62-yard pass from Jake Delhomme. Carolina rushed for 242 yards against the Rams, lead by 114 on the ground by DeAngelo Williams.

"I'm pleased with the performance of the offense and defense," says John Fox, smacking a wad of Juicy Fruit, "but one thing concerns me. And that is the result of our 242 yard rushing: only 15 points, and none scored by the rushing game. That's going to be a problem come playoff time, and not making the playoffs will be a problem come playoff time."

Joe Gibbs made the change at quarterback last week when Jason Campbell got the start over Mark Brunell. Campbell played well, with two touchdown passes and no interceptions, albeit in a losing effort to the Bucs.

"Hey, this is Washington, D.C.," says Joe Gibbs. "Just like the Republicans were voted out of the House and Senate, I had to kick Mark to the curb. Maybe he should follow former Redskin quarterback Heath Shuler into politics. Heath couldn't look off a safety, but he sure knows how to sucker a voter."

Carolina has ascended to the top of the NFC South by winning two straight, while the Saints and Falcons have lost two and three, respectively, in a row. They remain on top with a 27-21 win over the Redskins. Steve Smith catches seven passes for 109 yards and a touchdown.

Cincinnati @ Cleveland

In the last two weeks, Chad Johnson has caught 17 passes for 450 yards and five touchdowns, and now leads the league in receiving yards. Last week against the Saints, he lit up the New Orleans' secondary for three TDs, but due to a sore hamstring, did not celebrate.

"That's what you think," says Johnson. "That's was my patented 'fake hamstring injury' touchdown celebration, guaranteed never to be outlawed by the NFL. Dang, gringo, do you really think I would score and not celebrate? Who do I look like, Marvin Harrison? Ocho-ocho's a great receiver, but the brother needs to show some moves."

The Browns held the Steelers to three points through three quarters, then surrendered 21 points in the fourth to lose 24-20 to their hated rivals. The Steelers scored on drives of 87, 79, and 77 yards to complete the comeback.

"Defense, defense, wherefore art thou defense?" asks Crenel. "Our prevent defense didn't do much preventing. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and the town of Cleveland. That would be our fourth quarter defense."

Ocho-cinco remains on a tear, with 135 yards receiving and a 65-yard touchdown from Palmer. Johnson then mocks the Dawg Pound crowd by humping the goal post, then marking his territory.

Cincinnati wins, 30-24.

Houston @ N.Y. Jets

After a scoreless first half against the Bears, New York coach Eric "The Ice" Mangini opted for an onside kick to start the second half. Needless to say, the Bears recovered, kicked a field goal a few plays later, and went on to win 10-0.

"Sure, it turned out to be a bad decision," says Mangini, "but I've seen worse. Like Leon Washington's Topps trading card. The dude's flipping us the bird double barreled-style. I hear it's worth about $50 right now, and it's trading straight up for the Chris Henry card in which he's holding a six-shooter and a six pack. Plus, there are other cards available. There's the Randy Moss 'moon shot,' the Jake Plummer 'finger,' and the classic Minnesota Vikings' cruise ship team photo, in which they're all smiling."

In Houston, David Carr tied and NFL record by completing 22 consecutive passes in a 24-21 loss to the Bills. Carr broke the record set by Washington's Mark Brunell earlier this year at Reliant Field.

"Obviously, the record is cursed," says Carr. "Brunell set the record and gets benched; I tie the record and we lose. Something is amiss when you tie an NFL record for completions and lose. It's downright shocking, much like offensive lineman Fred Weary getting tasered last week for resisting arrest. And get this. The charges were dropped, so Fred got tasered for nothing! That's too bad, but it's still reason to celebrate. That's why I'm presenting Fred this autographed copy of AC/DC's High Voltage album, plus a brand new set of jumper cables."

At 5-5, the Jets can't afford a loss to the Texans if they intend to make the playoffs. They may likely be in a fight with the Jaguars for the last spot. And since the Jags have already beaten the Jets, New York would have to finish a game up on Jacksonville. Their schedule favors that scenario. Among their remaining games, they have to go to Green Bay, Minnesota, and Miami, while the Jags have Indy and New England at home, and finish at Kansas City. I'd say that favors the Jets.

Jets win, 23-13.

Jacksonville @ Buffalo

A record-setting day by Bills receiver Lee Evans powered Buffalo to a 24-21 win over the Texans. Evans scored on a pair of 83-yard bombs from J.P. Losman in the first quarter, and finished with 11 catches for 265 yards, a franchise record for yardage.

"I had no idea J.P. could throw the ball that far," says Evans, admiring his gold medal won in the 400 meter dash at the 1968 Summer Olympic Games in Mexico City, Mexico, "much less do it twice. But it's great to be in the Buffalo record book and be associated with all the other record-holders, although hopefully I won't be the second inductee into the slimeball wing of the Buffalo Hall of Fame currently inhabited solely by O.J. Simpson."

Jacksonville thoroughly dominated the Giants on Monday night, holding them to 25 yards rushing in a 26-10 win. Jacksonville is now 2-0 in Monday night games, and 1-0 in games in which Jack Del Rio wears a dress suit made by Reebok.

"I've never felt more comfortable in a suit in my life," says Del Rio, "although I was somewhat perplexed as to why a dress suit would have a jock strap. I guess that's what makes it 'sporty.' Anyway, I was very pleased with our effort. The offense was efficient, and the defense was tenacious. That's tenacious 'D.' Which reminds me of a phrase we'll be hearing in March: 'And the Oscar for best picture goes to Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny.'"

I can definitely see that, Jack. And I can definitely see a letdown from the Jags. J.P. Losman scrambles for one score, passes for another, and the Bills' defense holds Jacksonville in check.

Buffalo wins, 17-13.

New Orleans @ Atlanta

Drew Brees passed for 510 yards in a 31-16 loss to the Bengals in the Superdome. He threw for two touchdowns, but was outdone by the Carson Palmer-to-Chad Johnson connection, which accounted for three scores.

"How often do you hear of someone passing for 510 yards in a losing cause?" asks Brees, icing down a sore right arm while longing for the days in San Diego. "That's unheard of. Almost as unheard of as a team amassing over 1,100 yards of total offense in two games and losing both. I guess you could say we have a problem on defense."

Obviously, Drew.

Michael Vick couldn't escape the Baltimore defense in a 24-10 loss to the Ravens. Vick was sacked five times and held to 127 yards passing.

"Also in a losing cause," says Vick. "Brees has some gall padding his stats like that. It's obvious he's just trying to get to the Pro Bowl. But I guarantee he won't throw for four times as much yardage as me on Sunday. And I guarantee that 28 points won't be enough to win this game."

If the Saints are to win a game, they'll have to play just a little defense, which happens to be way more than they've played in the last two weeks. Once again, they find themselves in a track meet, and once again, they don't win. The Falcons rush for 180 yards and Vick throws for two scores.

Atlanta wins, 35-30.

Pittsburgh @ Baltimore

Quietly, the Ravens have built an 8-2 record and a three-game lead in the AFC North. But do you even hear their name mentioned with the other AFC powers, like Indianapolis, San Diego, and New England?

"No, you don't, which is an outrage," complains Brian Billick. "We've got everything those teams have, like a division lead, and something they don't have: me and my brilliant decision-making skills. We're 4-0 since I sent Jim Fassel packing. Not one of those other coaches has the nerve to fire their offensive coordinators."

The Steelers have strung together two wins for the first time this season with wins over New Orleans and Cleveland. Turnover-prone quarterback Ben Roethlisberger knows that to beat the Ravens, he can't be careless with the ball.

"Hey, I'm not known for being careless," explains Roethlisberger, "unless I'm on a motorcycle. But I realize the importance of protecting the ball, especially against a defense as fast and physical as the Ravens. Playing the Ravens in Baltimore is scary, much like meeting Rosie O'Donnell in a dark alley."

The Ravens often feast on turnovers, and they're second in the league in takeaways, while the Steelers lead in giveaways. Roethlisberger turns it over three times, and Steve McNair throws for 220 yards and a score.

Ravens win, 21-9.

San Francisco @ St. Louis

San Francisco's 20-14 upset of the Seahawks last week pulled them to within one game of the division lead. It was their third consecutive win, and was highlighted by Frank Gore's 212 yards rushing, a franchise record.

"I felt invincible," says Gore. "Like I couldn't be stopped. Which is probably exactly how Antonio Bryant felt before he was arrested for DWI, reckless driving, and resisting arrest. In his case, he was wrong. If you think you can speed down a highway doing 100 miles per hour, in a Lamborghini, no less, then you must be drunk. I guess he thought he would be released under his own recognizance. Let me tell you, I'm a teammate of Antonio's and I don't even know what he looks like."

The Rams surrendered 242 yards on the ground last week to the Panthers. Gore's 212 yards came against a much better rushing defense. The 49er game plan is simple: run the ball, chew up the clock, and keep St. Louis possessions to a minimum. Gore rushes for 145 yards and a score, and Alex Smith makes the right decisions (including not catching a ride with Bryant to the game).

San Francisco wins, 24-21.

Oakland @ San Diego

Did you see the Chargers commit two personal fouls on Denver's final possession in San Diego's 35-27 win in Denver? One was a delay of game penalty, and the other was called on Charger nose guard Igor Olshansky, who punched Denver center Tom Nalen after Nalen went for Olshansky's knee.

"Look, we all know Denver offensive line plays dirtier than the guards in The Longest Yard," Olshansky explains. "That's a fact. It's one thing to cut block me on a running play, but putting a helmet on my knee on a play when Jake Plummer was clearly spiking the ball is unforgivable. If my creator, Dr. Frankenstein, taught me one thing, it was to never let a Denver offensive lineman get away with a dirty play. Let's just say I struck a blow for defensive lineman everywhere."

Why didn't you strike a blow for Broncos fans everywhere and take out Jake Plummer?

"My bad."

Raider fans would kill for that kind of drama. You know, on-the-field drama. Instead, they have to listen to Randy Moss' sob story about being unhappy. And Andrew Walter complaining about the play calling. And the Raiders' chances of winning the No. 1 pick in next year's draft.

Last week, LaDainian Tominson scored four touchdowns against the Broncos. He won't duplicate that feat against the Raiders, but only because he won't need to. Tomlinson rushes for one TD, and San Diego forces three Aaron Brooks turnovers.

San Diego wins, 23-6.

After the game, to apologize to teammates for his second-straight no catch game, Randy Moss treats them to his Thanksgiving specialty, the "jive turkey," a turkey stuffed with collard greens and macaroni and cheese, basted and roasted in a pan of Olde English malt liquor.

Chicago @ New England

Could this be a preview of Super Bowl XLI? It could be, but only if New England and Chicago make it there in in February. If they do, it will be a rematch of Super Bowl XX, won by the Bears in dominating fashion, 46-10.

"That day still sits heavy on the hearts of New England fans," says Tom Brady. "At the time, that was the most lopsided defeat in Super Bowl history. Thanks to the 1989 Broncos for fixing that for us. Losses in the big game can be devastating, but thanks to our recent three wins, and to the Bills of the early '90s, we can all feel better about ourselves. But don't feel sorry for Buffalo; they have the NHL's No. 1 team, the Sabres, and it's the home of the Goo Goo Dolls."

The Bears continue their swing through the northeast with possibly their toughest game to date: the Patriots in New England. After taking out the Giants and Jets in consecutive weeks, Chicago will try their luck at Gillette Stadium, where the Pats are 2-3 this year.

"They must protect their house," says Lovie Smith. "No, this isn't an Under Armour commercial, but we're encouraged that the Patriots don't seem to play their best at home. They're awesome on the road, 5-0, but so are we. So I'm wondering why we aren't favored in this game."

The Bears can clinch the division with a win and Minnesota and Green Bay losses or ties. That won't happen on Sunday. The Patriots have a chip on their shoulder, intent on proving that Gillette is not an easy place to win, at least for their opponents. Brady shows why he's Tom Brady and Rex Grossman is not. Brady throws two short touchdown passes, and the Patriot defense steps up, holding Chicago to 200 yards total offense.

New England wins, 17-9.

N.Y. Giants @ Tennessee

Has anyone noticed that the Giants haven't really beaten many good teams? Their six wins have come against teams with a combined 25-35 record. Throw out their win over 6-4 Dallas, and that record is 19-31. What does that tell us?

"Well, it tells me that you probably needed a calculator to crunch those numbers, you idiot," says a miffed Tom Coughlin, fresh from a sour homecoming in Jacksonville. "Sure, we're in a slump. Two things happen when you're slumping. One, you get out of it, or two, someone gets fired. I'm not going anywhere, and neither is Eli Manning. He'll break out soon enough. And don't give me this crap that we should have taken Phillip Rivers over Eli. Rivers is a good quarterback made better by LaDainian Tomlinson. Heck, give me a running back with 22 touchdowns and I could quarterback the Chargers."

Two of Tennessee's three wins have come on the road against NFC East competition. Luckily for the Giants, this game's in Nashville. And after the Titans' impressive win against Philly and the Giants' sorry showing in Jacksonville, the line on this game is much lower than it would have had the Titans lost and Giants won. If you're a betting person, take the Giants -2 1/2 or -3, depending on the line and/or your level of addiction. Tiki Barber carries the ball 35 times for 174 yards and never complains about lack of carries again.

New York wins, 27-20.

Philadelphia @ Indianapolis

What looked to be a marquee matchup featuring Donovan McNabb and Peyton Manning is now a Peyton Manning versus Jeff Garcia showdown. Not exactly what NBC had in mind when they made this their flex game, but it's too late to change that to Chicago at New England.

"Hey, if they want to make the Bears/Patriots the flex game," says Manning, "they have my blessing. I don't want to risk overexposing myself. While I have you here, let me tell you about my new dating hotline, 1-900-HOT-READ. That's 1-900-468-7323. Call for available singles in your area."

Philly lost Donovan McNabb for the year due to a torn ligament in his right knee. And noted humanitarian Terrell Owens has made it clear he won't be sending McNabb any "get well" wishes.

"Well, I'll be dad gummed," exclaims McNabb. "I was expecting T.O. to show up wearing a candy striper's uniform with a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. How many times do I have to say it without coming right out and saying it: I hate T.O."

Jeff Garcia will start for the Eagles in place of McNabb. Garcia already has one win over the Colts, when the 49ers won in Indy 40-21 back in 2001. This is Manning's revenge.

Indianapolis wins, 38-24.

Green Bay @ Seattle

Matt Hasselbeck makes his return to the lineup after missing four games with a knee injury sustained in Week 7 against Minnesota. In Hasselbeck's absence, backup Seneca Wallace lead the Seahawks to a 2-2 record. Brett Favre was knocked out of last Sunday's game versus New England, but he is expected to make his 232nd consecutive regular season start on Monday night.

"Gosh, poor Matt," says Favre. "I can only imagine the agony he felt. It's probably the same pain I've felt hundreds of times over my career, but oddly enough, I haven't missed my last 231 starts."

Shaun Alexander returned last week from his own injury, a broken bone in his foot, and managed only 37 yards on 17 carries.

"I guess I rushed my return just a little bit," say Alexander, "but my season touchdown record is in jeopardy. We host the Chargers in Week 16. I want to be in my best health when I congratulate LaDainain Tomlinson on shattering my record."

Favre will try to keep the Packers in it, but with the Seahawks at full power, it will be difficult. Hasselbeck throws for two scores, and Alexander gets a one-yard TD plunge, leaving him 19 behind Tomlinson.

Seahawks win, 35-21.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 5:18 PM | Comments (1)

November 22, 2006

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 12 (Pt. 1)

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Miami @ Detroit

The Dolphins won their third straight game, defeating the fading Vikings 24-20, thanks to two defensive touchdowns in the fourth quarter. Cornerback Renaldo Hill returned a fumble 48 yards, and Jason Taylor followed with a 51-yard interception return.

"Our offense left us no option," says Taylor, "but to score on our own. Did you see our rushing statistics? Ronnie Brown had 12 rushes for two yards. That might have been a three-touchdown day for Jerome Bettis, but it won't get us in the end zone. Granted, the Vikings have the NFL's best rushing defense, but I believe Charlie Brown, Foxy Brown, or even Encyclopedia Brown could have topped those numbers."

The Lions lost 17-10 in Arizona last week, and will try to rebound with a win in their traditional Thanksgiving home game. Thursday's game will mark the return of Joey Harrington, who quarterbacked in Detroit for three years with disappointing results before being traded to Miami during the offseason.

"It will be great to see Joey," says Roy Williams, "with another team. I bet he thought he was done with Thanksgiving games when he left here. You know the saying: 'Once a turkey, always a turkey.'"

The Dolphins are 2-1 against NFC North teams this year, and their defense is ranked No. 5 in the league. The Lions may be without running back Kevin Jones, who sprained an ankle against Arizona. Normally, I don't go out on a limb like this, but I think Brown will improve on his rushing numbers, maybe fiftyfold. Harrington is avenged sevenfold and seizes the day.

Miami wins, 20-16.

Tampa Bay @ Dallas

What a week for the Cowboys. First, Emmitt Smith is crowned champion on "Dancing With the Stars," then the Cowboys defeat the previously undefeated Colts, 21-14. Dallas forced four Indy turnovers, and Marion Barber III rushed for two touchdowns.

"I don't know what's more impressive," says Barber. "Our win over the Colts, or Emmitt's performance. Of course, we beat the Colts, but Emmitt had to go through Mario Lopez, A.C. Slater of "Saved By the Bell" fame. That's impressive. That's like outperforming Screech in Filming Grainy, Perverted Adult Films With D-List Stars. Now that's impressive, but somewhat sickening."

With the Giants' loss on Monday night, Dallas moved into a tie for first in the NFC East. The Cowboys and Giants share identical 6-4 records, but the Cowboys have a 1-3 division record, while the Giants are 3-0 in the division. And guess what? The Cowboys face the Giants at Giants Stadium in Week 13.

"So, you're saying we can't overlook the Bucs?" asks Bill Parcells. "Don't worry, we won't. We're playing good football right now, at least everyone except kicker Mike Vanderjagt. I don't want that Canadian to get discouraged, so I'm bringing in my good pal, Texas Tech coach Bobby Knight. If he can't get Mike's chin up, no one can. And we all know Coach Knight has a sterling record with foreigners, despite what the Puerto Rican police force may say."

There will be no letdown for the Cowboys. After going without a score against the Colts, Terrell Owens hooks up with Tony Romo for two touchdowns. Later, Romo hits paydirt again with Jessica Simpson, then checks the replay on his camera phone.

Dallas wins, 27-13.

Denver @ Kansas City

When the game is on the line, isn't it nice to have someone like Larry Johnson to turn to?

"Yeah, it must be great," says Denver's Mike Shanahan. "At least you know he won't throw an interception."

Shanahan and the Broncos were victimized by LaDainian Tomlinson's four touchdowns in their huge 35-27 loss to the Chargers last Sunday night. But Plummer's fourth down interception, which he threw right to San Diego cornerback Drayton Florence, sealed the Broncos' fate. Should Plummer falter at Kansas City on Thanksgiving night, a quarterback change is imminent, according to ESPN's Chris Mortensen, and according to the frightening shade of red on Shanahan's face.

The Chiefs pulled to within two games of the AFC West lead by defeating the Raiders 17-13 at Arrowhead. They did so in typical Kansas City fashion, by running the daylights out of Larry Johnson. L.J. rushed 31 times for 154 yards and two touchdowns.

"I don't see nothing wrong," explains Herman Edwards, "with a little bit of bump and grind. Larry's got legs, he knows how to use them. The list of great workhorse backs in this league is long and distinguished. So's my Johnson. Besides, Larry gets great mileage."s

The key to running against the Broncos is staying with it, even if you don't see early success, especially in a moderately low-scoring game. Johnson rushes 27 times for 120 yards and a score. Plummer takes another step towards the bench with two interceptions.

Chiefs win, 17-14.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 6:02 PM | Comments (0)

Sports Central Pro Bowl Selections

Pro Bowl voting has been open for over a month, but now every team has played more than half of its schedule, so it's finally reasonable to vote for each conference's representatives. And yes, voting 692 times is too many. Here's a look at my ballot, with AFC players listed first. I didn't vote for anyone who's out for the season.

Quarterback

Peyton Manning (IND), Philip Rivers (SD), David Carr (HOU); Drew Brees (NO), Marc Bulger (STL), Tony Romo (DAL)

Carr is a controversial choice, edging out Carson Palmer (CIN), Tom Brady (NE), and Damon Huard (KC), who's not even on the ballot. Carr has a lot less to work with than Palmer, and he's actually produced more than Brady. Donovan McNabb (PHI) would have been a lock if he hadn't gotten hurt. Manning is the only one of these players I've voted for prior to this season.

Running Back

LaDainian Tomlinson (SD), Larry Johnson (KC), Willie Parker (PIT); Tiki Barber (NYG), Frank Gore (SF), Steven Jackson (STL)

Easy choices in the AFC, but the third spot in the NFC was a toss-up. Jackson edged Warrick Dunn (ATL) and Brian Westbrook (PHI) for the last spot. The dynamic Jackson has more combined rushing and receiving yards than either Dunn or Westbrook. This is my fifth year writing this column for Sports Central, and it's the fourth time I've voted for Tomlinson and Barber.

Wide Receiver

Reggie Wayne (IND), Andre Johnson (HOU), Javon Walker (DEN), Lee Evans (BUF); Steve Smith (CAR), Marques Colston (NO), Torry Holt (STL), Anquan Boldin (ARI)

Wide receiver is always the hardest position to narrow down, and I'm not happy about some of the people I had to leave off. In the AFC, it was especially tough to cut Marvin Harrison (IND), Chad Johnson (CIN), and Hines Ward (PIT), all guys I voted for last year. In the NFC, others I considered were Donald Driver (GB), Brett Favre's only reliable target; Darrell Jackson (SEA), who leads the NFL in receiving touchdowns; and Roy Williams (DET), who's third in the conference in receiving yards.

Fullback

Lorenzo Neal (SD); Justin Griffith (ATL)

Neal, the lead blocker for LaDainian Tomlinson, was an easy choice. Griffith is my favorite from an unappealing list of NFC candidates.

Tight End

Tony Gonzalez (KC), Kellen Winslow, Jr. (CLE); Alge Crumpler (ATL), Jason Witten (DAL)

Another position at which the AFC is way ahead. I'd take Antonio Gates (SD) ahead of anyone from the NFC. Crumpler had a down season last year, and I didn't expect to vote for him this time around, but he's made some big plays for the Falcons.

Kicker

Shayne Graham (CIN); Robbie Gould (CHI)

Gould hasn't missed all season, including ten kicks from at least 40 yards out, making him an easy choice. The AFC was tighter, but Graham is perfect from inside 40, and solid from further out, including two successful attempts over 50 yards. He's also one of the league's better kickoff men. If you want to pick a sleeper, though, consider Sebastian Janikowski (OAK), who hasn't missed from under 50 yards all season.

Punter

Brian Moorman (BUF); Matt Turk (STL)

The AFC was a very close two-way competition between Moorman and Mike Scifres (SD). No one else was close. I voted for Shane Lechler (OAK) last season, but he's been terrible this year, bombing kicks past his coverage or into the end zone. Turk is having his best season in ages, with fewer than half his punts getting returned.

That's the end of the "Express Ballot," bringing us to the offensive line selections. I'm fairly good at judging play on the line, but having watched a limited number of games, I'm reduced to some guesswork at these positions. Other guys get highlights and statistics to help you choose, but not the offensive linemen. That disclaimer aside, here are my picks:

Offensive Guard

Logan Mankins (NE), Kris Dielman (SD), Mike Goff (SD); Marco Rivera (DAL), Shawn Andrews (PHI), Steve Hutchinson (MIN)

Mankins, the second-year player from Fresno State, may be the best offensive player from last year's draft. This is the first year I haven't voted for Alan Faneca (PIT), and he was probably the closest to making my ballot. Rivera has re-discovered the Pro Bowl form he showed in Green Bay, while Hutchinson doesn't look like the same player he was in Seattle.

Offensive Tackle

Marcus McNeill (SD), Ryan Diem (IND), Matt Light (NE); Jammal Brown (NO), Jon Runyan (PHI), John Tait (CHI)

You could take pretty much the entire offensive lines of the Chargers and Colts, so Shane Olivea (SD) and Tarik Glenn (IND) were close. In New Orleans, everyone is talking about Brees, Colston, and Reggie Bush joining the team, but don't forget last year's first-round draft pick, Brown, who protects the quarterback's blind side for the team with the fewest sacks allowed in the NFL.

Center

Jeff Saturday (IND), Dan Koppen (NE); Olin Kreutz (CHI), Shaun O'Hara (NYG)

I didn't take the entire left side of the Patriots' line on purpose, but the team is fourth in the AFC in total offense, despite the absence of a strong receiving corps. A couple years ago Kreutz looked like he was past his prime, but he's back in top form, and solid line play is a big part of the reason Rex Grossman has been successful this year. Tom Nalen (DEN) barely missed making my AFC ballot.

Cornerback

Champ Bailey, (DEN) Rashean Mathis (JAC), Chris McAlister (BAL); Ronde Barber (TB), Anthony Henry (DAL), Charles Tillman (CHI)

Bailey and Mathis were easy choices in the AFC, as was Barber in the NFC. Every year, I expect him to slow down, look for new guys to pick, and every year, Barber keeps himself in the mix. This season, he leads all cornerbacks in tackles and has double-digit deflections, plus two interception returns for touchdowns. Tillman barely beat out Lito Sheppard (PHI) for the last spot in the NFC. Sheppard has played very well since his return from injury, and if you're voting a few weeks down the line, you should take a good look at him.

Strong Safety

Troy Polamalu (PIT); Gibril Wilson (NYG)

Polamalu had some injury problems earlier in the season, but he certainly seems healthy again now, and no one else can match his instinct for being where the ball is. I'm not crazy about any of the NFC candidates. The best might be Sean Considine (PHI), who wasn't listed.

Free Safety

Marlon McCree (SD); Brian Dawkins (PHI)

Tough call in both conferences, with lots of qualified candidates in the AFC, and no real standouts in the NFC. I voted for Sean Taylor (WAS) last season, but he's been a huge disappointment this year. It seems like Taylor gets called for a stupid penalty or caught in blown coverage in every game.

Defensive End

Jason Taylor (MIA), Derrick Burgess (OAK), Jared Allen (KC); Julius Peppers (CAR), Alex Brown (CHI), Aaron Kampman (GB)

One of the few positions where I'm really happy with my choices, though I had to leave some good players off. I especially wanted to get Trent Cole (PHI), Leonard Little (STL), and Defensive Rookie of the Year candidate Mark Anderson (CHI) onto the ballot, but there wasn't room. Bertrand Berry (ARI) would have been in contention, too, but he's on IR.

Inside Linebacker

London Fletcher-Baker (BUF), Zach Thomas (MIA); Brian Urlacher (CHI), Antonio Pierce (NYG)

Finally, a position where the NFC is stronger. Pierce, the on-field general for the Giants' defense, barely beat out contenders like Lofa Tatupu (SEA), Jeremiah Trotter (PHI), and Will Witherspoon (STL). At the beginning of the season, Ray Lewis (BAL) looked like he was Pro Bowl material again, but he slowed down, and now he's hurt.

Outside Linebacker

Bart Scott (BAL), Shawne Merriman (SD); DeMarcus Ware (DAL), Lance Briggs (CHI)

Merriman, serving a four-game suspension for violating the league's steroid policy, is a controversial choice, but when he's on the field, Merriman is capable of totally disrupting an offense. San Diego's defense has struggled noticeably in his absence. The AFC has a ton of talent at this position, so I'll just list alphabetically the other guys I wanted to take: Keith Bulluck (TEN), Ian Gold (DEN), Clark Haggans (PIT), and Mike Vrabel (NE). If you're looking for a sleeper, consider rookie edge rusher Kamerion Wimbley (CLE).

Defensive Tackle

Kelly Gregg (BAL), John Henderson (JAC), Vince Wilfork (NE); Tommie Harris (CHI), Pat Williams (MIN), Kevin Williams (MIN)

Always a tough position to narrow down, with lots of underappreciated difference-makers on the ballot. The NFC was especially tricky, with Minnesota's DTs, who anchor the league's best run defense, edging Rocky Bernard (SEA), Rod Coleman (ATL), Chuck Darby (SEA), Fred Robbins (NYG), and Darwin Walker (PHI). It seems like every year there's one team who's always listed as barely missing the cut. Last year, it was San Diego. This season, apparently it's the Eagles. Sorry, Philly fans.

Kick Returner

Chris Carr (OAK); Allen Rossum (ATL)

Rossum has been among the league's best return men for years now, but Carr, who leads the NFL in kickoff return yards, is only in his second season. I almost voted for Wes Welker (MIA) just because I wanted him on my ballot.

Special Teamer

I never vote at this position — not enough information — but some of the guys I like are Kasim Osgood (SD), Gerald Sensabaugh (JAC), Josh Scobey (SEA), David Tyree (NYG), and Considine (PHI), although he's not listed as a choice. Sleeper pick: rookie linebacker Rocky McIntosh (WAS), another player who's not listed on the ballot, but has been a terrific special teamer all season, and should crack Washington's starting defense by the beginning of next season.

The Chargers and Bears lead my ballot this year, with eight selections each. Last season, my leading teams were the Steelers (8) and Seahawks (7).

Midseason Awards

Offensive Player of the Year — LaDainian Tomlinson (SD)
Defensive Player of the Year — Julius Peppers (CAR)
MVP — LaDainian Tomlinson (SD)
Coach of the Year — Sean Payton (NO)
Assistant — Cam Cameron (SD)
Rookie of the Year — Marques Colston (NO)

Posted by Brad Oremland at 5:52 PM | Comments (0)

Turkey, Booze, and the NFC Playoff Race

I love Thanksgiving. Not only are there great quantities of fantastic food, but I get to drink a lot of whiskey in front of my wife's family, then pass out — and nobody thinks twice. It's the best day of the year, and no one will ever convince me otherwise.

(The first four days of the NCAA tournament come in as a collective second, followed by my birthday, day one of the NFL draft, and New Year's Eve.)

But Thanksgiving doesn't just have food and alcohol. It has football, too. And this year, we get a third game with Kansas City and Denver from Arrowhead on the NFL Network. It's like marrying a (insert gender here) and finding out (he/she) is secretly into (insert fetish here) just like you. It's awesome!

And to top it all off, when you get past all the turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, pie, whiskey, and handcuffs, Thanksgiving is also the unofficial beginning to the NFL mad rush for the postseason. And, really, what can be greater than that?

In the NFC, the last six weeks are going to be like an old-school WWF Royal Rumble, except unscripted and without the steroids (theoretically). Of the 16 teams, only the Redskins, Lions, Bucs, and Cardinals are dead in the water. That leaves 12 teams fighting for six spots. The Bears are way ahead at 9-2. Five others are 6-4. Three are 5-5. Three are 4-6. Six weeks left.

The rundown (in reverse order of hope):

12. Philadelphia Eagles (5-5) — The toughest remaining schedule (opponents have a 58% win percentage), plus only two home games, plus Jeff Garcia, equals wait 'till next year.

11. Green Bay Packers (4-6) — You know Brett Favre is going to soldier on, but of their last six games, five are against teams in the playoff hunt. There are just too many other teams to climb over.

10. St. Louis Rams (4-6) — They actually have the easiest remaining schedule, with four home games and opponents' win percentage of only 42%, but the loss of Orlando Pace has crippled what was already a staggering offense. Local columnist Bernie Miklasz is actually pining for the days of Mike Martz. Then again, he's a fat idiot who wears nerd glasses.

9. San Francisco 49ers (5-5) — I really want to rate these guys higher, and I fully admit I was way wrong about them early in the season. The young defense put together by Mike Nolan is fast and aggressive, and you can see Alex Smith maturing game-by-game. I'm just afraid four road games against St. Louis, New Orleans, Seattle, and Denver will leave them short. I hope I'm wrong.

8. Carolina Panthers (6-4) — It's tough picking the first team out of the South, and Carolina gets the boot for two reasons: 1) They finish at Atlanta and at New Orleans; 2) Jake Delhomme really is turning into The White Aaron Brooks. I just feel better picking against him.

7. Minnesota Vikings (4-6) — As cold as this team has been, I should really have them below the Panthers, especially since they have absolutely no chance of winning their division. The reason I have them higher is because of their relatively cake schedule, with only the Bears a sure shot at making the show. The other five: Arizona, Detroit, Jets, Green Bay, St. Louis. There's a definite run for the taking there.

6. Atlanta Falcons (5-5) — The first wildcard and six seed gets the nod because they're getting healthy, get to face Jason Campbell, Bruce Gradkowski, and Jeff Garcia, and get both New Orleans and Carolina at home.

5. New York Giants (6-4) — The second wildcard falls behind the Cowboys for the NFC East after their loss to Tennessee this Sunday (write it down), and never quite catches up. Something needs to click for Eli Manning, or they're going to have another postseason meltdown like they did last year against the Panthers.

4. Seattle Seahawks (6-4) — NFC West champion and four seed barely survives a San Francisco run. I'm putting a lot of stock in Matt Hasselbeck's ability to get this pass offense going. Plus, I'd really like to see Mike Holmgren's head explode if Seattle gets past round one and has to go to Chicago. That would be fun.

3. New Orleans Saints (6-4) — NFC South champion and three seed has the offense to compete against anybody. The defense has given up 69 points in the past two games, so that's a concern. Fortunately for the Saints, only two of their remaining six opponents feature an offense ranked in the top half of the league (Cowboys, Giants). I'd feel even better about this if the Saints gave the ball to Deuce McAllister more.

2. Dallas Cowboys (6-4) — Tony Romo has made a huge difference in the psyche of this team. Not only is the offense better, but so is the defense. They shut down the best offense since the '01 Rams, and have a plus-six turnover differential. It would just be a shame if the career of Bill Parcells ended on a missed kick by Mike Vanderjerk. Wait, no it wouldn't.

1. Chicago Bears (9-1) — A no-brainer to land home field, but I'm not sure they run the table to Miami. If I'm a Bears fan, I'm never going to be completely confident with Rex Grossman as a playoff quarterback. Just too many bad decisions.

Wildcard — Saints over Falcons, Seahawks over Giants
Divisional — Bears over Seahawks, Cowboys over Saints
NFC Championship — Cowboys over Bears

Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis, MO. His weekly NFL picks and daily NCAA men's basketball picks can be found at The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 5:39 PM | Comments (1)

November 21, 2006

NFL Week 11 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* Three shutouts in one weekend. That's surprising even when the Rams aren't one of the teams that gets shut out.

* Tennessee won both of its road games against the NFC East. Strongest division in the league, huh?

* CBS has the best pre-game show this year. FOX is second, and ESPN is unwatchable.

* Can we get a moratorium on partial announcers? It used to be considered unprofessional for analysts to publicly root for teams and players.

* We're past the middle of the season. Check back later this week for the Pro Bowl column, including my votes and reasoning.

***

We're slowly starting to get a general idea of what the playoffs will look like in January, and the picture seems surprisingly familiar. In the NFC, Tampa Bay and Washington clearly aren't returning to the postseason, but Chicago, Seattle, Carolina, and the Giants are all at least tied for the lead in their respective divisions. In the AFC, Indianapolis and New England are virtual locks to repeat as division champs, while Denver and Jacksonville both have strong playoff position. If the postseason started today, eight of the 12 teams in last year's field would return.

For now, it's still Week 11, and we'll get straight to the power rankings. Brackets indicate last week's rank.

1. Chicago Bears [2] — Rex Grossman's passer rating has dropped to 83.5, and Chicago scored a season-low 10 points against the Jets, but the defense came up big, holding Chad Pennington to a 42.8 passer rating. At this point of the season, every team has obvious flaws, and the Bears are no exception, but they seem to be the NFL's most dominant team right now.

2. Indianapolis Colts [1] — We're going to find out whether or not this team has the resolve to be a champion. The Colts were clearly the league's best team last season, but this year they aren't overpowering, and they're going to have to grind things out to be successful. They don't have homefield advantage — or even a first-round bye — locked up, and they're going to have to win a couple playoff games to reach the Super Bowl. A lot of people doubted their ability to do that even when they were overpowering.

3. Baltimore Ravens [4] — The AFC Super Bowl favorites, Indianapolis and San Diego, are notorious postseason chokers, so if you're looking ahead to February, consider the Ravens. The remaining schedule is tough, with road games against the Bengals, Chiefs, and Steelers, but Baltimore is 8-2, with both the offense and defense clicking. This is a veteran team that's been there before, and it could be very dangerous in the playoffs.

4. San Diego Chargers [5] — Averaging 33.2 points per game, and it's hard to argue with Al Michaels' statement that "the Chargers are playing the most exciting football" in the league. They've scored over 30 points in four straight games, they're coming back from big deficits, and we've run out of superlatives for LaDainian Tomlinson. Strange to remember the Chargers almost fired Marty Schottenheimer this offseason.

5. New England Patriots [6] — Held the Packers to five first downs and 120 yards of offense. Green Bay averaged 2.5 yards per play, converted only one third down, and had an 18-minute deficit in time of possession. Mike Vrabel and Ty Warren had 1.5 sacks each. The Pats are fourth in total defense and second in scoring defense.

6. Denver Broncos [3] — With today's young, flashy wideouts, veteran receivers are a huge asset for coaches, and most top teams have one. Muhsin Muhammad, Marvin Harrison, Derrick Mason, Keenan McCardell, Troy Brown, Rod Smith, and so on. Even when they're not top performers any more (and Smith is an afterthought this season), they're still there to guide the young guys.

7. Dallas Cowboys [13] — Defense contained Peyton Manning, Tony Romo had another good game, and Mike Vanderjagt missed two field goals against his old team. Vanderjagt was supposed to solve the Cowboys' longstanding placekicker problems, but he looks like a headcase who can't be counted on.

8. Kansas City Chiefs [9] — Trent Green was uninspiring in his return, but Kansas City escaped with a win thanks to Oakland's anemic offense and Larry Johnson. I worry that Johnson is being overworked, though — he's on pace for 397 attempts, and with that kind of workload, if you don't get injured or run out of gas, you will the next season.

9. New York Giants [7] — There is simply no way the Giants can win a game when Tiki Barber only gets 10 carries. And why on earth did he keep leaving the game on third down? If you don't want to give the ball to your best player in key situations, at least use him as a decoy. The Giants have dropped two in a row after a five-game winning streak, and I sometimes wonder whether Little Manning is the best QB on the roster.

10. Carolina Panthers [11] — Defense positively shut down the Rams. St. Louis had nine punts, only eight first downs, 21 minutes of possession, just 111 yards, and didn't reach the red zone all game. Four Panthers had at least 1.5 sacks in the win. Carolina has won six of its last eight.

11. New Orleans Saints [8] — Made 25 first downs through the air and gained almost 600 yards of total offense in their blowout loss to Cincinnati. Drew Brees put up huge numbers, but he had a bad game, throwing three interceptions, including two in the end zone. Brees has more interceptions this season than Peyton Manning, Marc Bulger, and Damon Huard put together.

12. Jacksonville Jaguars [14] — Dominated the Giants, with over 400 yards of offense and a 2:1 advantage in time of possession. Jacksonville converted half its third downs on offense and held Little Manning to a 28.3 passer rating on defense. The Jags, who lost to the Texans at home last week, may be the NFL's most up-and-down team this season.

13. Seattle Seahawks [10] — Converted only one first down against San Francisco, and got embarrassed by Frank Gore, who ran for a 49er-record 212 yards. Since starting 3-0, the Seahawks have gone 3-4, and just 1-4 against teams who are not the Rams.

14. Cincinnati Bengals [15] — Chad Johnson has almost as many yards in the last two games (450) as in the first eight combined (482). Kevin Kaesviharn had a career game against New Orleans, with nine solo tackles, two sacks, and a crucial red zone interception right before halftime. At 5-5, the Bengals are very much in the AFC playoff picture.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers [17] — I know some of his interceptions should be blamed on the receivers, but Ben Roethlisberger has 17 picks so far this season, four more than any other player — and remember that Ben didn't even play in Week 1. Jacksonville's MNF win makes it unlikely, but good 4-6 teams (like Pittsburgh and Miami) may still have a shot at the playoffs.

16. Miami Dolphins [20] — Finished with negative rushing yardage, but scored two defensive TDs and won. Leading rusher Ronnie Brown had two yards and a lost fumble. The Dolphins are 3-3 with Joey Harrington as quarterback, and one of the big differences is sacks. Daunte Culpepper took 21 sacks in his four starts, while Harrington has just six in six games.

17. New York Jets [18] — The defense is ranked 29th, but the Jets' biggest problem right now is Pennington. He had a terrific start to the season, posting passer ratings over 90 in six of the first seven games, but has been so bad since then that his season rating has dropped to 76.8.

18. Atlanta Falcons [16] — Three straight losses, with an average of 12.3 points per game during the streak. You can't win with that kind of production. Michael Vick is clearly not the only problem, but let's not pretend this guy is Tom Brady if you put better players around him. Vick takes too many sacks, but he makes up for that with his running. The big problem is his accuracy. Even with subpar receivers, you have to complete more than 52.4% of your passes.

19. Philadelphia Eagles [12] — Jeff Garcia is a capable backup, but the season-ending injury to Donovan McNabb might be the end for the 2006 Eagles. They're already in a 1-4 tailspin, and I think they're looking for an excuse to go in the tank. I've always thought highly of Andy Reid, but this team seems very poorly coached.

20. San Francisco 49ers [29] — I've been a doubter all season, including a last-place preseason ranking and a 3-13 record prediction. Now the 49ers are .500 and have an outside shot at the playoffs. They've mostly beaten up on bad teams, but wins are wins, and the Niners have three in a row.

21. Green Bay Packers [19] — Shut out for the second time this season, and their quarterback situation is worrisome, with Brett Favre hurting and Aaron Rodgers out for the season. If the Packers and Vikings lose next week, Chicago can clinch the NFC North.

22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [22] — Won the rematch of last year's wildcard playoff game, running the ball and controlling time of possession. Kicker Matt Bryant had an awful game, drawing a 15-yard penalty for a late hit and kicking off out of bounds, both times giving Washington great field position.

23. Washington Redskins [21] — Carlos Rogers has really regressed. At the end of last season, he looked like a solid starting corner, but this year, he's struggling badly. Jason Campbell looked pretty good in his NFL debut. His accuracy should improve as he gets more first-team practice reps, and his arm strength and mobility allow Washington to open up its playbook in a way the team couldn't with Mark Brunell.

24. Buffalo Bills [25] — Everyone knows that Willis McGahee is the best running back in the league — he told us so — but the Bills have been playing pretty well without him. Buffalo didn't score more than 20 points in any of its first seven games, but it's done so twice since the bye. Lee Evans had kind of a good game this week, with 11 receptions for 265 yards and two scores.

25. Tennessee Titans [28] — Vince Young brings a lot to the table, but he's going to have to improve on his league-worst 45.7 completion percentage. You can't win a lot of games when your leading receiver has two catches.

26. Cleveland Browns [26] — Started 0-3 and lost five of their first six, but the Browns are a respectable 2-3 since the bye (against teams with a combined record of 29-21), and they haven't lost by more than 10 points since Week 2. If Charlie Frye can limit his turnovers (12 interceptions and six lost fumbles), this can be a competitive team.

27. Houston Texans [27] — David Carr threw an early interception, then completed 25 of his next 29 pass attempts. With stiff AFC competition, Carr isn't likely to get a lot of Pro Bowl votes, but he has a better passer rating than Tom Brady, and he's fifth in quarterback rushing yards.

28. Minnesota Vikings [24] — Brad Johnson deserves a lot of the blame for their four-game losing streak. Johnson has at least one interception in each game of the streak, and his passer rating has dropped to 28th in the NFL. The Vikings don't have great weapons, and the offensive line hasn't been as good as fans hoped, but Johnson has been a huge disappointment for a team that was counting on his steady play to help it reach the playoffs.

29. St. Louis Rams [23] — They're 4-6, but haven't won in a month and a half. In that stretch, they were swept by the Seahawks and lost by 14 points or more to their other three opponents. The Rams are a wreck right now, but they have winnable home games the next two weeks, with a respectable season on the line.

30. Oakland Raiders [31] — Solid defense hasn't allowed an opponent to reach 20 points for six consecutive games. That stat is a little misleading, since teams don't need to score a lot of points against the Raiders, but make no mistake: this team's problems are on offense.

31. Arizona Cardinals [32] — Sacked Jon Kitna four times, but their best defensive player, Bertrand Berry, who had two of the sacks, has been placed on injured reserve and is done for the season. Matt Leinart leads all NFL rookies in passing yards, slightly ahead of Andrew Walter and Bruce Gradkowski.

32. Detroit Lions [30] — As if this 2-8 team needed any more problems, lead running back Kevin Jones left Sunday's game with an ankle injury and is doubtful for Week 12. The Lions have a short week, facing Miami at 12:30 Eastern on Thanksgiving. The other games are Tampa Bay at Dallas and Denver at Kansas City.

***

Enjoy the holiday, and don't forget to check back this week for my annual Pro Bowl column.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 9:40 PM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 36

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson was crowned champion after a safe ninth-place finish at Homestead, which left him with a comfortable 56-point lead over Matt Kenseth to end the year. Johnson overcame a few scares, including a piece of debris that hit his grill, and a loose lug nut on a pit stop on lap 190, to secure his first Nextel Cup championship.

"Cheap champagne never tasted so good," says Johnson. "And it tastes even better out of this gas catch can."

2. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth finished ahead of Jimmie Johnson, coming home sixth to Johnson's ninth, but that wasn't enough to catch him. Instead, Kenseth remained in second in the points, 56 behind Johnson.

"Jimmie deserves this," says Kenseth. "He did what he had to do. And it didn't hurt his confidence by me saying all week that I didn't have a chance to catch him."

3. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin finished third in the Ford 400 and finished third in the points, breaking a tie with Kevin Harvick, who finished fifth. Hamlin, the only rookie ever to make the Chase, finished 68 points behind Johnson.

"That's probably one spot higher than the Redskins, coached by my car owner, Joe Gibbs, will finish in the NFC East," says Hamlin. "I think with Joe's full support, I could have won this thing."

4. Kevin Harvick — Harvick closed with a fifth in Florida, his 15th top-five of the year, but was unable to complete the double of winning the Busch series title and Nextel Cup in the same year. He finished fourth in the final Cup standings, and dominated the Busch series, winning the crown by 824 over Carl Edwards.

"I can't wait for next year," says Harvick, "to go for the double again. And, by the time NBC runs their next commercial segment, it will be next year."

5. Dale Earnahrdt, Jr. — Earnhardt led 47 laps and survived a brush with the wall to finish 15th at Homestead to close out his season fifth in the points, 147 out of first.

"At least Budweiser's still the king of beers," says Earnhardt, "One of these days, I'm going to win a Cup title, and you'll see the biggest merchandising bonanza in the history of sports. Just think: 'Dale Earnhardt, Jr., Nextel Cup champion dinnerware.'"

6. Jeff Gordon — Gordon finished 24th in Florida, one lap off the pace, to finish the year sixth in the points, 219 out of first. Gordon is, however, the car owner of new Nextel Cup champ Jimmie Johnson.

"Hey, Jimmie rode in on my coattails," says Gordon, "and now, I'm riding out on his."

7. Jeff Burton — Burton finished 14th in the Ford 400, and maintained the seventh position in the points, 247 behind Johnson.

"Sure, I'm disappointed," says Burton, "but never have I been so moved by a pre-race prayer. Miss Florida USA touch me with her spontaneous, heartfelt words, straight off of index cards."

8. Kasey Kahne — Kahne led the most laps, 90, but fell short in his quest for his seventh victory of the year. He finished fourth to move up one place in the points to eighth, 292 out of first.

"I look forward to next year," says Kahne. "I'll be a year wiser, a year more experienced, and a year older, although I probably won't look a year older."

9. Mark Martin — In his final drive for Jack Roush, Martin finished 18th, and fell one spot to ninth in the points. Next year, Martin will run a partial schedule in a car owned by Bobby Ginn.

"Do you remember when the Terminator said 'I'll be back?'" says Martin. "Sure enough, he was, for two sequels. That's just like my retirement plan."

10. Kyle Busch — Busch led 28 laps early, but was wiped out by a crash and finished 38th. It was the Hendrick driver's fourth finish of 35th or worse. As a result, he finished last in the points, 448 behind Johnson.

"But I think we did win the team title," says Busch, "thanks to a great anchor leg from Jimmie."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 9:16 PM | Comments (0)

November 20, 2006

The Short Big Men For Equality Anonymous

I'm an amateur scout. I look at a college basketball player and act like I know how they're going to do in the NBA. But in being an amateur scout, I'm no different from anyone else. Even if I don't want to be like that annoying guy who reads NBADraft.net and makes not-so-bold predictions, I am.

"Dude, Greg Oden is going to dominate in the NBA. He's the next David Robinson — he's got soft hands, a nice touch, and a great attitude."

Okay, yeah — if that's you, shut up. But while we're at it, why don't we shut up all the scouts out there. Have you ever wondered what makes someone's "game" adaptable to the NBA?

It's like this: you can either draft a 6-foot-7 power forward who averaged 20/10 in the SEC or a 6-foot-9 power forward who averaged 15/8 in some mid-major conference. Who do you take?

This is easy for the NBA scout. You take the second guy because for some reason or another, those two inches are vital.

When I envision scouts, I think of the guys on dating shows. And I don't mean that they scout players based on physical aspects. I mean that when they sit there with a player, there are literally predictable speech bubbles that pop out from underneath them. They are that shallow.

So let me drop some names: Paul Milllsap, Craig Smith, Jason Maxiell, and Ryan Gomes. What do they have in common?

Three things: 1) They are all power forwards; 2) they are all 6-foot-7 (though media kits say they are taller — but you simply don't grow because you wear shoes); and 3) they were drafted low because they were too short.

Oh, and one final thing — they are all performing better than scouts expected.

In fact, Craig Smith, the Boston College alum, is averaging 9 points and 3 rebounds a game. The Timberwolve rookie is lighting up the box scores with his Charles Barkley-esque post moves — you know what I'm talking about. The moves for short post players who are, uh, heavy set.

Scouts said he wasn't athletic enough, quick enough, and big enough. Turns out he was.

I think it's a prejudice against short big men. They should make an organization — Short Big Men For Equality Anonymous.

Gomes would be an outspoken member of SBMEA. Coming out of Providence College, he dominated the collegiate ranks. Then when he tried to go pro, they said he was too slow and too short. The second-round choice is now averaging 9 point and 6 rebounds per game.

Maxiell is in the same class as Gomes. At 6-foot-7, 260 pounds, he's the heaviest of the bunch. But he was also considered too short and too slow.

Millsap isn't quite in their class yet, but in college, he was a rebounding machine. Turns out he was too short, too.

And there's one word that is going to sting for all these guys: tweener — not quite tall enough to play power forward, not quite athletic enough play small forward. It's painful.

So what will this organization do?

Three things: 1) Talk about their feelings of being short and pudgy; 2) bring in speakers like Charles Barkley and Pig Miller; and 3) get those scouts who has oppressed them for so long and ask for their rightful place in the NBA draft, in front of guys named Oleksiy Pecherov and Hilton Armstrong.

For now, I propose the SBMEA for inclusion in the midnight society — I mean, er, the NBA. It can just be a part of the Players Association.

Posted by Alvin Chang at 9:02 PM | Comments (2)

The Gerber Error in Ottawa

Hockey experts had mixed opinions about the trade that saw Martin Gerber shipped from the Carolina Hurricanes to the Ottawa Senators. Some thought the Sens had finally went out and found the goaltender they needed to boost their Stanley Cup hopes for years to come. Others thought it was a huge irrational mistake. With a quarter of the season behind us, it's very hard to disagree with the latter.

Martin Gerber has played in 12 of his team's 20 games so far and he's only managed three wins. The disaster on ice has given up 40 goals and has a GAA of 3.46.

It's a give in. The Senators lost big pieces of the puzzle in the offseason. Martin Havlat and Brian Smolinski left for Chicago. Big Zdeno Chara now wears the "C" in Boston. Not to mention last year's risk between the pipes that didn't pay off, Dominic Hasek, finds himself back in Detroit.

Looks like John Muckler, the Sens GM, forgot that even though Gerber brought a fresh Stanley Cup ring from Carolina with him, it was his young backup that stepped up in the playoffs and won the Conn Smythe trophy. Sure, Gerber had a good season, but did he show consistency when needed? Absolutely not.

It doesn't help that Ottawa has had a lot of difficulty putting the puck in the net at the other end of the ice. The big guns have been quiet. Coach Brian Murray has been constantly tinkering with his lines to try and find a winning combination.

The Sens' roster does have a good mix of youth and experience. They have a bunch of talent and some muscle and grit to back it up. They have been putting the puck on the net. It just doesn't seem to be going in for them. At this point, it's nearly impossible not to start asking questions about their leadership on and off the ice.

Daniel Alfredsson is on the hot seat. Trade rumors are running wild in Canada's capital. Understandably, nobody wants to pull the trigger too soon. However, one thing is true. If Ottawa doesn't start winning some games, heads are going to roll.

Like he did last season when Hasek got hurt, backup Ray Emery has been keeping the team afloat. On Saturday night, the Sens beat divisional rivals Buffalo Sabres for the second time in three nights. Emery had 23 stops in a 4-1 win.

It's all about giving the team some confidence. Gerber's shaky performances did anything but keep guys like Spezza and Heatly on their heels afraid to make mistakes. These guys need to stay loose and feel free to attack. Weak goals kill that spirit.

We know, Muckler ... we know! "The NHL season is a marathon, not a sprint." Gerber does have plenty of time to get out of the doghouse. If Emery falls to injury or has a slump of his own, Sens fans will be crossing their fingers hoping the first stretch of the season was only a nightmare. However, for the time being, the popular opinion suggests that the doghouse should be boarded up, quarantined, so as to protect the rest of the team from catching that loser bug, yet again.

Posted by J.D. Conway at 8:20 PM | Comments (0)

November 18, 2006

I Don't Know Jack

Shea Stadium will no longer be home to the New York Mets by the start of the 2009 season. In my nearly three decades as a Mets fan, there are things about Shea I've enjoyed and things about Shea I'm glad will end up under a pile of rubble. And yes, I'm talking about those cheese-tastic neon stick-figures playing ball on the side of the building, and that awful picnic area that's about the size of a Manhattan efficiency.

I liked the way the bass in "We Will Rock You" echoed through the stadium. I loved the apple that came out of the top hat when the Mets would hit a home run. I liked that the seats matched the team colors. When I was a kid, there was something nutritionally magical about the way a Kahn's hot dog matched with a lukewarm RC Cola.

And there were memories. I've gotten into shouting matches at Mets/Yankees games there. I saw Darryl Strawberry bank one off the scoreboard there. I remember chanting "Beat L.A." in the last home game before the '88 NLCS. I remember the time when my father and I decided to beat the traffic, and listened to Pat Tabler win the game in the bottom of the ninth with the bases loaded on the car radio in the parking lot. (Tabler, by the way, is one of those anomalous characters that only exist in baseball: he had a career batting average of .282, yet hit just under .500 with the bases loaded. He was like an NFL quarterback who couldn't complete a first-down pass, but could toss a touchdown on a Hail Mary half the time he threw one.)

Oh, and then there were those euphoric moments in 1969, and those two games in 1986 when Shea became the center of the sports universe. Those were pretty cool, too, even if I wasn't there for them. (Hey, at least I'm honest; I'm pretty sure if you tabulated everyone who says there were in the house for Game 6, the total attendance would be around 3 million.)

But while the rest of the major leagues were building state-of-the-art ballparks, my team was playing in a heap of concrete that looked like they ran out of money to complete. I think The Vet in Philly had more amenities, and that place was a cesspool. So it was time for Shea to go.

It's a bittersweet departure, because Shea was a symbol for this franchise's personality, especially when it came to New York baseball. The Yankees played in a temple, the Mets played in a football stadium. The Yankees had the quiet awe of Monument Park, and the Mets had planes buzzing over their games. Shea wasn't pretty, it wasn't friendly, and it could be awfully frustrating — in other words, meet the Mets.

The Mets will play in Citi Field, scheduled to open in 2009, but it won't be their stadium. It'll be the Brooklyn Dodgers', as the new ballpark is one big homage to Ebbets Field. I don't necessarily have a problem with that architecture choice; plenty of "throwback" ballparks around the league are influenced by the classics.

I just have a problem with Jackie Robinson.

There was evidently a movement afoot to name the stadium for Robinson, but that wasn't going to happen with CitiGroup offering $20 million a year for the naming rights. So, instead, the Mets are going to place a large statue of Robinson in the ballpark's rotunda and host an educational museum about his life and impact.

Look, I'm all for honoring Robinson's legacy as the single most culturally significant athlete in the history of sports. That's why we have Jackie Robinson Day every season. That's why his name is on awards and postage stamps and scholarship funds. But if you want to honor him in a stadium, do it out in L.A. where his team plays. He was never a Met. He had nothing to do with the Mets. He's got no business having a statue in their ballpark.

It made sense to have a Robinson statue outside of Olympic Stadium in Montreal because his brief stint with the minor league Montreal Royals electrified that baseball community and put the city on the baseball map. If Robinson had that kind of impact on the Mets, maybe there'd be a reason for this fanfare. As it stands, Horace Stoneham and Walter O'Malley were more important figures in Mets history than Robinson ever was; if it weren't for their avarice, the Mets wouldn't exist. Where's their statue? (Well, I guess having to clean eggs and spit off of the O'Malley shrine every day would get a little old.)

What can I say: I'm a purist. When I ranked the retirement of Wayne Gretzky's and Jackie Robinson's numbers at No. 96 in my book Glow Pucks & 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History," I did so for two reasons. First, I felt that having young athletes who were inspired by No. 99 and No. 42 wear those numbers in the big leagues leaves a more enduring legacy than having either number retired in perpetuity. But I also felt it was an insult to some of sports' most intense rivalries: the Calgary Flames have an Edmonton Oiler's number retired, and the Giants have a legendary Dodger's number hanging in their stadium. What a disgrace.

The Mets have said they'll honor their own players at other entrances of the stadium, although no specifics were given at this week's ceremonial groundbreaking. Let's just say I'm not holding my breath for the "Tug McGraw gate" to have the same gravitas as the Jackie Robinson rotunda.

The fact is that when Mets fans come through the turnstiles for the first time in 2009, they'll be greeted in the foyer by a player who never wore the uniform. Not Seaver nor Koosman nor Carter nor Hernandez nor Stengel nor Hodges — a pure Dodger. If the argument is that the new stadium should honor New York baseball history, then that statue should bear the likeness of only one player: Willie Mays, an honest-to-goodness Met.

Maybe you think I'm overreacting. Maybe you think petty feelings of fan loyalty and sports rivalry should take a backseat when it comes to venerating someone as enormously significant as Jackie Robinson. If that's the case, Mets fans, let me ask you this:

Would you still have no problem with the Jackie Robinson Rotunda if he had been a Yankee?

Didn't think so...

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book is "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History." His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 11:33 PM | Comments (0)

November 17, 2006

Commish Stern Has Got Some Balls

When is a brick not a brick?

Or a turnover, or a sure rebound, for that matter? The answer is clearly found after substituting in a 2006-2007 NBA basketball, something you most likely haven't had a chance to play HORSE with in your driveway.

Rejecting the conventional basketball design we are so used to, where every line, whether curvy or straight, neatly intersects at two narrow points, this ball has curves that find the center, and then curiously enough, turn back around from where they came. The classic NBA logo at the center remains lonely and unmolested, and you, the fan, are left to realize something seems askew. So what planet plays ball with this thing again?

(Since you've undoubtedly read a version of this column on five other different websites already, I will spare you the endless player quotes/testimony on it. I know that you know that Kobe likes it and LeBron thinks they should all be thrown to the stingrays. I will also not go into the stat-by-stat comparison of this month to last year because that angle has already been used ad nauseam.

So why am I writing another groan-inducing new NBA basketball column, you ask? Simply because none of us here at Sports Central have yet weighed in on such a central issue. To ignore this development on the website altogether would be somewhat naïve. Therefore, I offer my own fresh perspective on our new funny-bouncing friend.)

So why would David Stern do such a thing? The most likely reason is clear to see during any game. The new sphere bounces the same against hardwood, but not the same against metal, or glass. For a commissioner who tinkers more than Tony La Russa with the pitcher's spot due up, another impulse to (not so) subtly increase scoring was unavoidable.

You might notice this strategy is not all that different from the time Commish Stern turned his giant pencil upside down and erased the league's three-point lines (and if you can remember that far back, you will recall that's exactly how it looked on NBA courts at the time) and redrew them a foot and a half closer because he thought it might be cool. (Actually, it was kind of cool for a little while. Chris Webber thought he could hit threes, Charles Barkley thought he could hit threes. The Magic and Rockets even had a happy little three-point orgy together and set an NBA Finals record with all the treys they hit in Game 1 of 1995. Anyway, I digress...)

Luckily, that experiment only lasted a few years before he got bored with it and set things back. I can only hope the new ball experiment will share the same fate. Stern has already given us best-of-seven first round playoff series, zone defenses, and now playoff re-seedings over the past four years. None of these seem to occur for any apparent reason. These quirks and tweaks to the game many of us once found familiar do not appear to be stopping anytime soon. David wants to see futureball. And he wants it now.

You see, this is how it works. The world according to David. This, right now, is the rough adjustment period. Players will make sloppy turnovers and miss easy rebounds because suddenly the angles are all different and the grip isn't right. Eventually, rebounders will relocate their angles, point guards will pass, forwards will catch a little different than they used to, and rookies will come into the league only knowing this ball and everything will be okay again.

What will remain is that the ball, if you haven't noticed yet, is a lot more forgiving. Those hard, true, astroturf-like bounces off the rim and backboard are now a thing of the past. Now when a ball hits the backboard, that soft kissing noise you hear is a lot more likely to lull the ball through that maze of lace below it. Same thing when it hits the rim, especially the back rim. When you eliminate the hard bounce, anything and everything that is not an air ball has a chance of going in. That means more scoring, and more scoring is always good for business.

Don't believe me? Check out Rip Hamilton's desperation, end-of-the-half three against the Celtics last week. I promise that is not the last time you will see a shot like that go in. If you're familiar with the highlight, and if you're enough of an NBA diehard to be reading this, you should be, you should remember having the distinct sense that something was very wrong with just the notion that a shot like that could result in points.

If you haven't seen it, the shot appeared to defy all modern hoops physics — a long, forced-up three-pointer from straight away, and slightly further out than usual. Hamilton had not shot the ball softly, and yet when it got to the back of the rim, specifically that bridge area between the cylinder and the backboard, instead of being violently propelled upwards and outwards, it simply died as if it had been gunned down by a sniper in the stands, took a feeble bounce that couldn't have been more than three inches high, and fell into the net. And with that, we enter into a new era where the NBA will see more lucky and strange bounces go through the net than college basketball and the WNBA (both of which have always employed slightly smaller balls, and thus friendlier rolls, than the NBA) combined.

If I'm an NBA coach, I'm telling my slumping shooter one thing: aim for the back rim. If it hits the back rim, it'll probably take that awkward bounce and go in. If you miss long, and it hits backboard, it may go in off glass, and if you miss short, you might just swish it.

Can you imagine the first time someone wins a big playoff game on one of those weak back-rim drop shots? Keep in mind, this could actually be a defining moment between two franchises, decided on one of those weird bounces that never should have happened. You will hear accounts of fans of the victorious team saying things like "I saw it heading towards the basket and went 'nooooo,' but then I remembered, hey, wait a minute, that's an '06 ball, this might still go in." Some of the less intelligent fans may chalk it up to divine intervention, destiny, or any of the other playoff clichés for a team pulling out a heart-stopping win, but the smarter fans will know that fortunes will have changed because the ball has changed.

Or how about the fact that this ball lets any and all moisture sit on its surface, making it slicker than the older model. Does this mean that during timeouts before game-deciding possessions with three seconds left, the home team or home fans will try to accidentally pass by and spill a water bottle on the ball before the visiting team inbounds it? You can't score what you can't catch.

And what of the statistical records kept? Does Stern know or care what he is doing to scoring averages of player, team, and league? Historians in future years may have to divide such averages into before '06 and after '06. Let's say Kobe or King James or maybe even Greg Oden is looking to hang it up 10 or 15 or 20 years from now, and his career scoring average is at 30.3, just a shade higher than record holder Michael Jordan, at 30.1 (and Wilt the Stilt, only hundredths lower), can we say definitively that he is now the new greatest scorer of all time? Nope, the critics will say. He spent the last half of his career using that newfangled leathery ball, and that probably lent him a few tenths a year or more. Controversy would reign.

There is already a fair amount of chaos in the league within this strange first month of the season, where Dallas and Phoenix, who battled for the Western Conference crown last year, now battle for the cellar, Miami and Detroit struggle similarly in the east, and the Atlanta Hawks soar high like never before. We've been trying to explain this topsy-turvy phenomenon all month, including other columns on this site.

Has anyone considered it might just be that Sternforsaken ball?

Posted by Bill Hazell at 6:57 PM | Comments (0)

Patrick Roy, How I Miss Thee

My life as a hockey fan began in 1996 on a sunny June afternoon. My 14-year-old self was sitting in the waiting room at my optometrist's office, and I was killing time by flipping through the magazine collection on the coffee table.

My scan for an entertaining read stopped when I saw "Champs!" in bold white type. It was the headline on the cover of the latest Sports Illustrated. Just above the headline was a man dressed in dark blue and burgundy red. Swirls of blue and white on his helmet accentuated the color of his bright blue eyes. And his eyes were glued to the puck that had landed in his glove. At the top of the magazine read "Colorado Avalanche: Special Collector's Edition."

I was intrigued.

As a Wyoming resident, I was aware that the neighboring state of Colorado had acquired an NHL hockey team. I didn't know, however, that the Avalanche had won the championship in their inaugural year. Not until I read the article in SI.

"Wow, they must be pretty good," I thought. "Maybe I should watch them next season."

It is important to understand that at this point in my life, I was not much of a sports fan. I didn't like baseball or basketball, and the only time I would watch football was when my mom would start yelling at the TV during a Denver Broncos game. Almost every autumn Sunday, I would be in my quiet room doing homework, when, without warning, my mom would yell an obscenity or a cheer at the top of her lungs.

Startled, I would yell back, "Mom, I am trying to do homework here! Cut it out!"

She'd be quiet for awhile, but more often than not, a bad call or a great play would rouse her up again and I'd walk into the living room just to see what she was so excited about.

She would say, "See! Look at that!" as the announcers dissected the replay.

Shrugging my shoulders, I would reply, "I don't get it. It's just a game," and walk back to my room.

Sports was not an interest of mine. It was a nuisance at best, a waste of time at worst.

***

Fall 1996.

I am sitting in my room, my eyes fixed on the television. They move back and forth at a frantic pace, trying desperately to keep tabs on some little black thing that's being slapped left, then right, then left again, ad nauseam, with a wooden stick. I am studying the game of hockey.

My mom walks in and catches me in the act. "What are you doing?"

"Watching hockey," I say, still fixated on the TV. "The Avs are pretty good, and since they're a Colorado team, I thought I would check them out."

My mom's reaction is one of shock and amusement, but not disapproval. She mumbles something along the lines of, "Okay then," and leaves me to it.

I don't even notice that she's left the room. My eyes are locked on the guy defending Colorado's net. It's the same guy that was on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

The way his entire body follows the puck intrigues me. His every move is made with such precise accuracy that he could be mistaken for a machine if it weren't for the unmistakable color of flesh behind his mask.

Also unmistakable are his eyes. Never have I seen a pair of eyes so blue, so focused, so intense. They never lose sight of the puck. His passion for the game is clearly reflected in his eyes.

His last name is Roy, but it's pronounced more like "wah" instead of "roi." I chant his name along with the crowd after he makes an amazing save. "Hey, that's pretty fun," I think to myself with a giggle. "Wah! Wah! WAAAH!"

***

In five years, my interest in hockey progressed from a casual interest to a must-not-miss-a-game passion. The first thing that happened was that I became a fan of that Avalanche team I checked out. From there, I studied the rules so I better understood the game. Then I learned the who's who throughout the league. It was a major progression for a girl whose starting knowledge began and ended with the name Wayne Gretzky.

Back in the early days, I never would have thought that I would be at a game and watching history unfold. But there I was, in 2001, at Game 7 in the Western Conference Semifinals, chanting Roy's name with all the lung capacity I could muster.

I had been to a couple of games by then, but none like this. Not only was it a playoff game, but my seat was only three rows up and just to the left of the goaltender's net. I was just a few feet away from Patrick Roy.

The hefty cost for such a close seat became priceless once the Avalanche took the ice for the pre-game warmup. Skating directly to me (or so it seemed), Roy took the net in front of me and began his practice ritual.

My eyes were glued. There he was, the guy whose intensity intrigued me enough to start watching hockey. I basically stared at him throughout the entire practice, but with one exception — when Peter Forsberg and Joe Sakic skated by, sans helmets.

My reactionary thought process went something like this:

1. Peter Forsberg! Joe Sakic!
2. Wow, they look intimidatingly huge with all their equipment on.
3. They both have gorgeous, thick hair.

It was one of the few hockey fangirl moments I've had in my day, so I'm not ashamed.

The entire building had an electricity running through it that comes only on a seventh game in a playoff series. What starts it is the foreknowledge that someone's season will be over at the end of the game, and the home crowd will be damned if it's their team. When the home team plays as well as the Avalanche did versus the L.A. Kings that night, the game takes that energy, feeds off of it, and returns it even stronger. That in itself is a memory I will never forget.

Adding to that excitement, however, was Roy playing the first and third periods of the game in the net just a few feet away. I stared in awe as I watched him do his work. It was the little things that amazed me — the things that just weren't captured on TV — like the smallest of twitches that put him in perfect alignment with the puck, or the way his glove always stood ready for a catch. It was as though I was witnessing the magic of Roy's play for the first time all over again.

As the third period wore on, the Kings became desperate. They were behind by three. Their offense seized control of the puck and attempted an onslaught of shots that only a human slinky could save. Or "the wall," Patrick Roy.

Over and over, as the Kings skated into the Avs zone and set up their attack, my eyes were on Roy. I watched as his entire body followed the puck coming down the ice, and just when the shooter thought he had a chance, Roy denied him each and every time. It didn't matter where the puck was coming from or how Roy had to save it — he did. And some of those saves looked downright impossible. Not for Roy. His composure was stronger than ever. The Kings, deflated, took a time out.

The crowd got on its feet and started the chant: "Roy! Roy! ROY!"

He took a moment and did something that I rarely saw him do: he looked into the crowd. He wasn't just staring at it in a dazed moment before the next play. He was really looking in the crowd, staring into each face as if he were looking for somebody. But he wasn't. He was simply reveling in the moment.

Roy slowly turned around until he was looking at those of us who had watched him make countless saves from behind the net. When he was in just the right position, I made eye contact, and in that briefest fraction of a second, I said "thank you."

I was thanking him for the excitement of that night. For being so amazing to watch every night. For all the memories. For being a part of my life, whether he knew it or not.

And in the blink of an eye, the moment was gone. But it was one of the most vivid experiences of my life.

Now, another five years later, I think about the memories Patrick Roy has given me over the years and I'd like to thank him again. I'd like to thank him for the memories he's given me since that incredible game seven — the Avs' Stanley Cup win in 2001; the parade in Denver just a couple of days after; his retirement ceremony at Pepsi Center, which I attended; and now, his induction into the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Thank you, Patrick Roy, for making me a hockey fan. You still amaze me.

Posted by Charlynn Smith at 6:42 PM | Comments (1)

November 16, 2006

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 11

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Atlanta @ Baltimore

If you looked up the word "inconsistent" in the dictionary, you'd likely find it defined as "not regular or predictable; erratic."

"Whew! For a minute there, I thought you were going to tell me there'd be a picture of me in there," says Michael Vick.

Oh, your picture's in there all right, Mike. It's beside the definition or "fumble caused by own knee." That's what happened last Sunday as the Falcons were driving for what could have been the go-ahead score against the Browns. And, let me just say, that picture bears a striking resemblance to noted man-about-town Ron Mexico.

"Look, when you're dealing with such an incredible athlete," says Jim Mora, wearing an "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt with Vick by his side, "you're going to have mistakes. Michael's still learning the position, believe it or not. You've heard of steep learning curves, right? Well, Michael's learning curve is a vertical line."

The Ravens shut out the Titans in the second half after giving up 26 points in the first. Former Titans Steve McNair and Derrick Mason hooked up for the game-winning score, and Kevin Dyson took a lateral from Frank Wycheck and raced for a kickoff return TD. Not really. The only Music City Miracle on this day was the fact that McNair didn't thumb his nose at the Tennessee front office.

Baltimore's three-game win streak has coincided with Cincinnati's three-game skid, and the Ravens have a comfortable three-game lead in the AFC North. Ray Lewis will be back on the field, and Adalius Thompson has the speed to monitor Vick. It will be a close one, but the Ravens pull out a tough 20-14 win.

Buffalo @ Houston

Buffalo nearly pulled off the improbable upset of the Colts, losing 17-16 in Indianapolis. Rian Lindell left a 41-yard field goal wide right that would have given the Bills the lead, and the Colts held the ball for the final six minutes of the fourth quarter to preserve the win.

"That's right," says Buffalo coach Dick Jauron. "We did everything right except win. We could just kick ourselves. We took the field with one goal in mind. But our chances at victory went right out the window when Rian missed the kick. Not that a successful field goal would have guaranteed a win. Give the Colts six minutes, and I'm sure they could have scored once against us, or twice against the Broncos or Patriots."

Houston continued to be the Jaguars' nemesis, beating them for the second time this year. The Texans intercepted David Garrard four times, and survived to go to 3-6. As was the case last week, Sage Rosenfels finished the game at quarterback for Houston, filling in for David Carr, who injured his shoulder during the game.

"Sounds like the makings of another quarterback controversy," says Houston's Gary Kubiak. "Just what the AFC needs, huh? Anyway, if David can go, he will. We'll outfit him with our new quarterback protection device, also known as the 'Maxi-Pad.' Hopefully, that will keep David healthy."

Buffalo great O.J. Simpson shows up in Houston looking for the "real killers." Unfortunately, the Juice doesn't find any murderers, but he does find rock band The Killers, and fills in on backing vocals on a cover of MC Hammer's "2 Legit 2 Quit." Then the Juice watches the A-Train, Anthony Thomas, rush for 120 yards as the Bills win, 27-24.

Chicago @ N.Y. Jets

The Bears really know how to silence their critics. After last week's loss at Miami left many unsure of the Bears' viability as NFC favorite, they quieted those doubts by outscoring the Giants 35-7 to erase of 13-3 deficit.

"I haven't heard a word out of Plaxico Burress lately," says Bears cornerback Nathan Vasher. "He was right, though. We were 'beatable,' but only for 99 net yards passing. That's nine yards less than Devin Hester's 108-yard return of Jay Feely's missed field goal. Just a word of caution to the rest of the NFL. If you're playing us in mid-November and come up short on a long field goal, we're going to tie an NFL record against you."

If the Bears have a weakness, Jets coach Eric Mangini will surely find and exploit it. Mangini got his biggest win as Jets coach, upsetting the Patriots and former boss Bill Belichick 17-14 in New England.

"Every team has a weakness," says 'The Ice Mangini,' "even the Bears. One of those is quarterback Rex Grossman. If you can put pressure on him, then you place the Bears behind the No. 8 ball. And you can run the ball on Chicago. Just ask Tiki Barber, Ronnie Brown, Frank Gore, and others."

Here's the Bears' real weakness: games in warm weather. They almost lost in Arizona and did lose in Miami. Which doesn't bode well for Chicago's chances in the Super Bowl in Miami, or the Pro Bowl in Miami, or vacation in Cancun. So, Ice Mangini, hope for unseasonably warm weather in the Meadowlands on Sunday.

If anyone still doubts the Jets after their win over the Patriots, a win over the Bears should convince those doubters. Two big wins in a row may be too much to ask of the Jets. The Jets aren't so great against the run, either, and the Bears' defense always seems to come up with big plays. Thomas Jones rushes for 115 yards, and Grossman throws for 195 yards and 2 TDs.

Chicago wins, 20-13.

Former Jets great Joe Namath is seen roaming the sidelines, feeling great, wearing a white headband with the letters "KOLBER."

Cincinnati @ New Orleans

After racking up 545 yards of total offense and still losing, the Bengals dropped to 4-5 and are now three games behind the Ravens in the AFC North. Chad Johnson's 11-catch, 260-yard, 2-TD day was overshadowed by four LaDainian Tomlinson touchdowns in a 49-41 loss to the Chargers.

"Was that a video game?" ask Marvin Lewis. "It's good to see that 'Ocho-Cinco' finally showed up only to be outdone by 'El T.' The offense is clicking, but the defense is cracking. However, our focus is clear. We may be down, but we're not giving up. That's why I'm issuing each
offensive player a poster of a kitten hanging on to a tree branch with the touching caption 'Hang in there!" As far as our defense goes, I'm presenting each player with a 'stop' sign. We know what we have to do to beat the Saints in the Superdome."

What's that, Marvelous Marvin? Stopping the high-powered New Orleans offensive attack?

"No, keeping my players off of Bourbon Street."

Like the Bengals, the Saints can score, but can't keep anyone else from scoring. That's why both teams will be in their second-straight shootout. Defense will be as non-evident as a Bengal with a clean police record. Rudi Johnson rushes for 151 yards and two touchdowns and Cincinnati wins, 38-35.

Minnesota @ Miami

Are the Dolphins gearing up for another late-season winning streak like last year's six-game run to close the season? After edging the Chiefs 13-10, Miami has won two in a row, and the Dolphins are brimming with confidence.

"Football is fun again," says Miami's Jason Taylor. "We've won our last two, we're the No. 2-ranked defense in the league, and we're playing the Vikings in Miami. By game's end, we just might have a three-game win streak and be the NFL's No. 1 defense."

The odds are good, especially if Brad Johnson continues to play like he has. Last week, in a 23-17 loss to the Packers, Johnson had the Vikings' only two turnovers. It's left Minnesota head coach Brad Childress contemplating drastic measures.

"Yep, I think we're going to have Brad euthanized," says Childress. "Or, at the very least, neutered. Seriously, though, Brad is still our starting quarterback. To be honest, I don't know who our backup is anyway. I think his name is Latoya Jackson."

Actually, coach, Brooks Bollinger is your second stringer, and the Jackson kid's name is "Tarvaris."

"Tarvaris? Didn't they have the hit single "More Than a Woman" on the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack?"

If these two teams met on an elevator, it better be a darn big one. Anyway, the Vikings would be headed "down" and the Dolphins "up," at least a couple of floors. But, their meeting at Dolphins Stadium, and the 'Fins should easily stop an offense that is struggling. Joey Harrington hits Chris Chambers for a long score, and Miami forces three Viking turnovers.

Miami wins, 16-10.

New England @ Green Bay

After racing to a 6-1 start, New England has lost their last two games, both at home, and last Sunday's loss to the Jets left the Patriots with only a one-game lead in the AFC East. Tom Brady failed on both occasions to lead the Pats to a tying or go-ahead score.

"Indeed, we're ice cold," says Brady. "Much like Bill Belichick and Eric Mangini's handshake at the end of the game. I tell ya,' that would have made Cold Miser proud. It got awful chilly there for a minute, but nothing a Dutch oven couldn't warm up. I know I haven't played my best
football in the last two games, but should I be concerned with our signing of Vinny Testaverde? Is my job in jeopardy, or is this Belichick's way of motivating me? Look Bill, I'm not the one that said we were out-coached. That was Richard Seymour."

Brett Favre and the Packers will welcome the Patriots to Lambeau Field for the first time since 1979. At 4-5, the Packers are in the playoff hunt with all the other mediocre 5-4 and 4-5 teams in the league. Favre is inching closer to Dan Marino's record of 420 touchdown passes. Thirteen more, and the record is his.

"Wow, the Pats haven't been here in 27 years?" says Favre, finishing his morning workout of an 80-yard sprint followed by a dead lift of Donald Driver. "Chowderheads, meet Cheeseheads.Tom Brady, meet your boyhood idol. Bill Belichick, meet the ghost of Vince Lombardi. Dan Marino, meet me at 420. Ricky Williams, meet me at 4:20."

The Patriots rarely lose two games in a row. Three in a row seems unlikely, but not impossible. Favre and Brady put on a passing show, with Brady just getting the best of the Packer icon. Brady throws for 300 and three touchdowns.

New England wins, 31-23.

Oakland @ Kansas City

Kansas City's three-game winning streak came to a halt in Miami, where the Dolphins held off a late Chiefs rally to win 13-10. Larry Johnson was limited to 75 yards on 18 carries and one touchdown as the Chiefs fell to 5-4.

"What a job by Nick Saban," says Herman Edwards. "They really took our running game away, which is our bread and butter. Without the bread and butter to rely on, Damon Huard was toast. After playing so well lately, he just had to pick the game before Trent Green medical clearance to play like dirt. Now, I've got a decision to make."

What, do you stay with Huard or go with Green?

"No, not that," Edwards replies. "Do I want the Playstation 3 $499 version or $599 version? For those prices, those things better come with an alarm system. Oh yeah, don't forget. Thanksgiving night. 8:00 PM Eastern. Broncos at Chiefs. Only on the NFL Network."

The Raiders hung tough last Sunday, losing to the Broncos 17-13, and no groins were harmed during the playing of the game. The Raiders are dead last in the AFC West and dissension is rampant in the ranks. Quarterback Andrew Walter has criticized the play calling of offensive coordinator Tom Walsh, Randy Moss says he is "unhappy," and Al Davis is spinning in his grave.

"Walter, you take your tail to solitary over there with Jerry Porter," says Art Shell. "Only bread and water for you punks, and you'll be forced to read Tom Walsh's play book. Moss, you're obviously immune to punishment, since what you're doing is no different from what got Andrew and Jerry in trouble in the first place. And you might want to review the role of a receiver, whose main job is to catch the ball."

To have any chance at winning, the Raiders need a little something from their offense, ideally some points, and a couple of first downs at the least. Their defense will keep them in it, but ultimately, one catch for eight yards by Moss just won't cut it. With Green at quarterback, the Chiefs win, 20-13.

Pittsburgh @ Cleveland

Big Ben is back! Ben Roethlisberger played an error-free game, throwing for 264 yards and three touchdowns with no turnovers as the Steelers beat the NFC North-leading Saints, 38-31.

"That kind of performance would get Charlie Batch a seat on the bench and a clipboard," says Bill Cowher, "even if Charlie's the one producing those numbers. We'll do our best to make the playoffs, but if we don't, I'm off to N.C. State as soon as they can Chuck Amato. That job is even more enticing now that Butch Davis will be coaching North Carolina. I owned Butch when he was at Cleveland; I can own him at Carolina. And he could probably get me some choice Tar Heel basketball tickets."

"Butch Davis left a mess here that I'm still cleaning up," says Cleveland head coach Romeo Crenel. "Wasn't he responsible for drafting Tim Couch? Where is that guy now? I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up on the Tar Heel coaching staff, along with Phil Ford."

The Dawg Pound will be rocking for this one, especially after Joey Porter turns his pit bulls loose on the north end zone bleachers before the game. Porter then goes wild himself, sacking Charlie Frye twice. Roethlisberger throws for 295 yards and two touchdowns.

Pittsburgh wins, 23-14.

St. Louis @ Carolina

Last Monday, when Steve Smith didn't have his head buried in a trash can, he was busy catching eight passes for 149 yards and a touchdown to lead the Panthers to a 24-10 win over the Buccaneers. Despite missing two games, Smith is fourth in the league in receiving yards and seventh in receptions.

"They call me 7-11," says Smith, "'cause I'm always open. And they call me Earl."

The Rams learned a hard lesson in Sunday's 24-22 loss to the Seahawks in Seattle in a game for first in the NFC West.

"What's that lesson?" asks Marc Bulger. "Always make sure you have at least a three-point lead on the Seahawks if you're going to give them the ball last?"

Yeah, that's a good one. Here's another: if you want to call yourself a contender in the NFC West, you need to beat other teams in the division besides the 49ers. And if you have a fourth and one inside the red zone, give Steven Jackson the ball, don't pass it. Who's calling the plays? Mike Martz?

Smith's breakout moment came against the Rams in the 2004 playoffs on the way to Carolina's appearance in Super Bowl XXXVIII when he took a pass from Jake Delhomme and scored the winning touchdown in overtime. Expect another big game from Smith. I know the Panthers are, because they'll lose if they don't get it. It's a shootout, but big plays from Smith lead the Panthers to a 27-24 win.

Tennessee @ Philadelphia

The big play is back in Philadelphia. Philly used an 84-yard touchdown pass from Donovan McNabb to Donte Stallworth and a Sheldon Brown 70-yard interception return to power a 27-3 beating of the Redskins. Coupled with the Giants' loss to the Bears, Philly is now only one game out of first in the NFC East.

"We're not playing the Rocky theme just yet," says McNabb, "although I did have a nice jog and workout to the Rocky III theme, "Eye of the Tiger." And I physically assaulted a side of beef. And I think Talia Shire is hot."

Tennessee had the Ravens on the ropes in Nashville, leading 26-14 at the half, and eventually losing 27-26 when Rob Bironas' 43-yard field goal was blocked by Trevor Pryce.

"It hasn't been a good year for feet here in Tennessee," says Jeff Fisher. "With Bironas missing game-winning kicks and Albert Haynesworth stepping on defenseless players, I'm ready to put a boot up someone's tail. Just a few words of advice to the Eagles: keep your helmets on, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars."

McNabb throws for 280 yards and three scores, and the Eagles outgun the Titans, although Vince Young flashes brilliance on occasion, passing for one score and rushing for another.

Philadelphia wins, 27-22.

After the game, Philly gangsters Vinny and Joey take the baseball bats to Tennessee wannabe mobsters Cletus and Bubba, who realize that while they may have the black market smokeless tobacco business covered in Tennessee, they are no match for Vinny and Joey's operation.

Washington @ Tampa Bay

The 'Skins faced the Bucs in Tampa last year in the wildcard round of the playoffs, a game won by the 'Skins with something they have sorely lacked this year — defense. Their major defensive playmaker, Sean Taylor, is not making plays, they are not creating turnovers, and their tackling has been awful.

"Defense is not my forte," says coach Joe Gibbs, "but I'm going to try my darndest to make our defense better. I'll start with an early Christmas gift to each defensive player, the 'Tackle Me Elmo' doll, from Tyco. Pull Elmo's string, and he'll say such lines as 'Come on! Wrap me up,' 'You hit like a girl,' and 'Tackle Me Elmo, you just got Jacked Up!' If that doesn't work, then defensive coordinator Gregg Williams gets the boot and we're bringing the heavy artillery by naming former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld coordinator."

Compounding Washington's problems is a new one, the loss of Clinton Portis, who broke his hand last Sunday and is out for the season.

"It hurts to know I won't get back on the field," says Portis, "but not nearly as much as knowing I won't be able to perform my favorite dance, "The Hand Jive," from the Broadway musical Grease."

With Portis out, and Jason Campbell getting his first start, the Bucs' defense should give their offense some opportunities for easy scores. Bruce Gradkowski has a particularly refreshing pre-game vomit, and throws two short touchdown passes.

Tampa wins, 19-14.

Detroit @ Arizona

Sunday afternoon's game at the University of Phoenix Stadium will pit two of the NFL's worst teams. No, not the last two teams to beat the Falcons. I'm talking about the 2-7 Lions and the 1-8 Cardinals. The Cardinals are the league's sole remaining one-win team.

"I like to call that a 'quality single,' says Arizona quarterback Matt Leinart. "And I'm always on the lookout for quality singles. I'm a player, and the only other guy on this team that can match my player prowess is our punter, Scott Player. Chicks dig the single-bar facemask."

Detroit turned the ball over four times in a 19-13 loss to San Francisco, including fumbles by their offensive stars, Jon Kitna, Kevin Jones, and Roy Williams.

"Dang! That NBA ball is so bad it's making it hard to hold on to the NFL football," says Williams. "Oops! I think I can get a technical for saying that."

No playoff implications are on the line in this one, although draft implications abound. And, should any of these players decide to drink and drive, there will be more implications — on DWI charges, which seems to be the crime of choice this year among NFL players. Hey, can ABC employ a flex schedule, and move the Michigan/Ohio State game to Sunday? No? Too bad.

Kevin Jones rushes for 90 yards and a score, and Williams gets 100 yards receiving against the NFL's fourth-worst pass defense.

Detroit wins, 28-21.

Seattle @ San Francisco

Seattle's Josh Brown stunned the Rams with a 38-yard field goal with nine seconds left to give the Seahawks a 24-22 win and a season sweep over the Rams. In Week 6, Brown nailed a 54-yarder as time expired to beat the Rams. The win gave the Seahawks a two-game lead in the West over the Rams and 49ers, and a five-game cushion over the Cardinals.

"Just like another famous denizen of the Pacific Northwest," says Brown, "you can call me 'Bigfoot.' Like the original Bigfoot, I'm rarely caught on film except in dramatic instances. And, like Bigfoot, I have a cousin named 'Yeti.'"

The 49ers won their second straight game, 19-13 over the Lions, behind Frank Gore's 159 yards on the ground, including a 61-yard touchdown run. Gore, nicknamed "El Toro" because of his bullish style, is second in the NFC in rushing yards, and attributes some of his success to the matador standing in the end zone holding a red cape.

"It's also nice when the crowd chants 'Olé!'" explains Gore. "But the Mariachi band that follows me around borders on overkill."

Sunday's game in San Francisco will be the biggest event in the city since the 2003 Rice-A-Roni Festival. With a win Sunday, the 49ers would only be one game behind the Seahawks. San Fran coach Mike Nolan comes dressed to impress in his dress suit designed by Reebok, and his players are equally impressive. Gore rushed for a score, and the fired-up 49ers pull off the upset, 23-20 on Joe Nedney's fourth quarter field goal. Under Armour immediately throws its do-rag into the dress suit ring.

Indianapolis @ Dallas

Upon defeating the Bills 17-16, Indianapolis became the first team in NFL history to start two consecutive seasons 9-0. It wasn't pretty, and was somewhat anticlimactic after their wins over AFC powers Denver and New England.

"Look, they don't give an award for starting the season 9-0," says Peyton Manning, "although if they did, I'm sure Kanye West would he irate that he didn't win it. But, as you know, I'm not all about awards, unless it's the Advertising Age 'Pitchman of the Year' award. I'll gladly accept that. But as far as an undefeated season goes, I'm not at all worried about it. I'm just concerned with going undefeated against the Cowboys, you know, like the Steelers in Super Bowls."

Tony Romo and Terrell Owens hope that their budding big-play connection will provide the impetus to upset the undefeated Colts. Owens lives for moments like this, and also enjoys appearing on Live With Regis and Kelly to promote his new children's book Little T Learns to Share.

"In the fiction aisle, of course," explains Owens. "Also, look for companion books in the non-fiction section with titles such as Little T Falls Asleep in a Meeting, Little T Berates His Receivers' Coach, and Little T Drops a Pass."

The Cowboys certainly have the offensive weapons to hang with the Colts. But I doubt the Colts have any qualms about their chances in a scoring contest with the Cowboys, or any team for that matter. Manning stays one step ahead of the Dallas defense, and throws touchdown passes to Reggie Wayne and Marvin Harrison.

Indy wins, 40-35.

San Diego @ Denver

Do the Broncos have a chance against a team that scored 42 points in one half last Sunday?

"Sure, we do," says Jake Plummer. "Just as good of a chance as we do against a team that gave up 28 points in one half."

I guess in both cases, we're talking about the Chargers, who eliminated a 28-7 halftime deficit by outscoring the Bengals 42-13 in the second half to win 49-41. LaDainian Tomlinson rushed for four touchdowns, and Phillip Rivers threw for 338 yards and three touchdowns.

"That's seven touchdowns right there!" says San Diego kicker Nate Kaeding. "Rhymes with 'ca-ching! Dang! I've got an easy job."

If Denver is to win, they'll have to use the formula that's worked so far: tough defense and a conservative offense, also known as "Jake Plummer is your quarterback." After two great games, Plummer resorted to the Plummer that keeps Mike Shanahan on edge, with three interceptions against the Raiders.

"It's all on Jake's shoulders this time," says Shanahan. "Is he going to be a man and protect the ball and make the right throws, or is he going to let a first-year quarterback outplay him on his home turf?"

What Rivers lack in age and experience to Plummer, he makes up for with his passer rating, which is nearly 29 points higher than Plummer's. Whoever avoids the costly errors will likely emerge victorious. Denver will most likely try to take away Tomlinson's rushing, but he's a dangerous receiver, as well. Javon Walker has been Denver's big playmaker this year. Look for those two to make game-changing plays. Inevitably, this comes down to offense. I like the Chargers.

San Diego wins, 27-24.

N.Y. Giants @ Jacksonville

Tom Coughlin makes his return to Jacksonville with an ailing Giants team coming off a harsh 38-20 loss to the Bears. Coughlin led the Jaguars to the AFC championship game in 1998, then was dumped in 2002. Early in 2003, Jack Del Rio was named head coach of the Jaguars.

"And that's when Jacksonville became 'New Jack City,'" Del Rio proclaims. "I'm no Wesley Snipes, but I can advise you of this when the Jaguars play on Monday nights: 'Always bet on Jack.' Now, does anyone have a cure for jungle fever?"

The Giants have several players out or questionable for the game, including defensive linemen Michael Strahan and Osi Umenyiora. Also, offensive lineman Luke Petitgout is out with a broken leg.

"It looks like the strain of simulating a jump shot after every play has finally taken its toll," Coughlin comments.

The Jags are hurting, as well, as are their playoff hopes. They won't win the division, and can't afford many more losses in what is sure to be a spirited race for wildcard positions down the stretch. I think desperation plays a role and give Jacksonville a slight edge. David Garrard rushes for a fourth quarter score, much to the dismay of Byron Leftwich, and Jacksonville wins, 23-17.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:32 PM | Comments (3)

The Joy of Overlapping Seasons

It occurs to me that I spend a lot of time on this column hyping my favorite things or, more precisely, times in sports. When I write about college football in the summer, I breathlessly announce how many days until my favorite sport is going to start. My March Madness column last year was entitled, "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year." I talk about the hidden gems in the cross-tour big money golf tournaments in Asia, and excitedly declare allegiance to soccer, poker, and CFL.

But no, seriously, this really, truly is my favorite time on the sports calendar, and that's because of the glorious overlap between college football and college basketball. Add in those Far East golf tournaments, the CFL playoffs, and Ohio State/Michigan, and I have no use for friends in November.

* As I write this, I am keeping one eye on one of these early-season basketball matchups, Rice vs. Gonzaga. It's odd to see the 'Zags not in the top 25 this year. I thought I had the formula down: Gonzaga graduates a star, the media anoints a returning player as the next big Gonzaga deal, that player comes through for the media, rinse and repeat. See Blake Stepp to Ronny Turiaf to Adam Morrison. I just figured they would annoint Derek Raivio, Josh Heytvelt, or Sean Mallon, but no, nobody.

* The only thing as old and trite as bad announcing is riffing on bad announcing, but I can't resist. The play-by-play guy just committed my favorite announcer sin: instant redundancy. "Rice only has eight points! They're still in single digits!" He gets bonus points for pointing out something everyone watching can see for themselves. Every time a player scores, the analyst says, "That's what (player) does." and then describes how he made the basket. "That's what Schmoe does, he has great range." "That's what Blow does, he penetrates."

* My favorite college basketball upsets so far this year: Southern Utah over Utah, Vermont over Boston College, and Butler knocking off Notre Dame and Indiana in the NIT tournament.

* The Bob Knight slap is a non-story to me. I've exhausted all the bile I can muster for Knight. It doesn't really matter if it was a slap or just a overzealous "look me in the eye!" move because everyone knows what they are getting from Knight. He hasn't learned anything from choking Neil Reed, he doesn't think he has ever done anything wrong, and he has the support of the administration and the kid's parents. Kids who enroll in Knight School, and parents who send their kids there, are there because they want that drill sergeant, beat-the-kids-into-shape approach. Indeed, the kid's dad said it was what his kid needed, as he is lacking discipline. God help us.

* If Rutgers finishes undefeated and doesn't end up in the National Championship Game, it'll be the biggest travesty in the BCS era. Rutgers is not Boise State. They play in a BCS conference, one that this year is better than one or two other BCS conferences at least. If a one-loss Florida team really is miles better than Rutgers, it still doesn't make a difference to me. If you finish undefeated in a BCS conference, you have to be considered ahead of any one-loss team. Otherwise, let's make a list at the beginning of each year which BCS teams will not be eligible for the National Championship Game no matter how well they do, because they are not respected enough.

Onto this week's picks. 2-3 last column, need to go 5-0 to each .500 on the year. Home team in caps, pick listed first.

OHIO (-4.5) over Akron

As an Akronite, it pains me to pick this, but Akron has not been competitive against a good team since September, and home-standing Ohio is 7-3 and playing to clinch a spot in the MAC Championship Game.

WAKE FOREST (+1.5) over Virginia Tech

What exactly does Wake Forest have to do to get some respect? They're 9-1 and kinda blew the one game they did lose. They just handed Florida State their first shutout loss at home since 1973. They've beat the spread in six of their last seven games (the one they did not, of course, was the last time I picked them). They're at home. I mean, honestly, what is the deal with this line?

Temple (+31.5) over NAVY

Temple's actually covered three of their last four, and Navy might be looking ahead to Army.

KENTUCKY (-19.5) over Louisiana-Monroe

Like Wake Forest, Kentucky is due some more credit. They are having their best season in ages and looking to move up the bowl ranks. ULM isn't even one of the better Sun Belt teams. I don't see this being close-ish as the line suggests.

Rutgers (-6.5) over CINCINNATI

I'm hearing a lot of scuttlebutt about Rutgers suffering the classic letdown game here. It's not gonna happen.

Posted by Kevin Beane at 10:27 PM | Comments (0)

Shaq is Back! (On the Bench)

Shaquille O'Neal supposedly hyperextended his left knee in a collision with Chuck Hayes during the third quarter of a 94-72 loss to the Houston Rockets. However, the replays clearly show that Shaq actually made contact with his right knee, not his left, which had been causing problems earlier this month. It was also visually noticeable that his knee was in a bent position, almost as though he was sitting in a chair, as the "Big Diesel" collided with the second-year player from Kentucky, making it nearly impossible to cause a hyperextension.

Shaq, now reporting the injury to his left knee, continued to play and continued to be dominated by Yao Ming down low.

O'Neal has often referred to himself with great pride. "The Big Aristotle," "The M.D.E." (Most Dominant Ever), "Superman," and "The Diesel" are only a few of his self-made nicknames. Most, however, would consider it possible for a Diesel to run through a knee-on-knee bump. Shaq, on the other hand, considers it to be a perfect opportunity to pull over to the side and fill up on gas.

He has also referred to himself, at times, as the "L.C.L." (Last Center Left). However, on Sunday night, it was overwhelmingly apparent that the standout from LSU was but a shadow of his former self and that there was a new man to take over the title of the league's most dominant big man.

The game, in which Yao put up 34 points and pulled down 14 rebounds over Shaq (15 points, 10 rebounds, 5 turnovers), stood to be a symbolic "passing of the torch," a torch that has been in the hands of O'Neal for far too long.

Ever since moving to Miami, Shaq has seemed to be second fiddle to Dwyane Wade. His fiddle, however, was still playing beautiful music —until now.

Last season was Shaq's worst individual performance and the only season where he did not average a double-double. Nonetheless, even though he missed 23 regular season games, he still managed to get the job done when it mattered the most — in the playoffs.

This season, the Heat will need more from the big man — but O'Neal seems unwilling to supply the demand. Miami is struggling and won't be able to coast to the playoffs before turning on the jets like last season. The team sits at three wins and four losses through Wednesday, thanks in part to Shaq missing three games due to a "sore knee."

The Heat have three pairs of back-to-back games coming up in the next two weeks, and if O'Neal can't handle his knees with a day's rest between games, he surely won't be able to handle the rigors of the upcoming schedule.

The Heat need him to be at his best when it matters most, and right now it seems like a win would make a world of difference for their morale. It's just too bad that this Diesel needs the team to pull him along rather than providing the engine that could lead the defending champs to repeated success — success that at this moment seems impossible.

Whether O'Neal is on the bench with his sore knee or playing through in the same lackluster way that he has demonstrated this season with career lows, the fact is that he can no longer be considered among the elite. Shaq has had an amazing career, but this year will be one to forget.

Posted by Chad Kettner at 10:08 PM | Comments (0)

November 15, 2006

College Football Predictions: Week 12

I love this week's card. I don't always play all of the games I breakdown here personally, but this week I will almost certainly have something riding on all of these. Good luck and enjoy.

YTD Record

1* = 9-5-1
2* = 9-7-1
3* = 8-6

1* = Gun to my head, I'd play the team listed (risky)
2* = A good chance of covering; a worthy play (fairly confident)
3* = I will be playing this team for a large chunk of money (very confident)

No. 8 West Virginia @ Pittsburgh +11.5, Thursday 7:45 PM, ESPN

Pittsburgh enters this Thursday's "Backyard Brawl" on the heels of a three game losing streak. They'll have to turn things around in a hurry if they hope to finish on the plus side of .500. West Virginia bounced back from their defeat to Louisville with a victory over Cincinnati last week. A win over Pittsburgh and their meeting to end the year with Rutgers will almost certainly be for the Big East's BCS bid.

Pittsburgh has fallen of the face of the Earth since beginning the year 6-1. It doesn't get much worse than their overtime loss last week to UConn, a loss in which the Panthers surrendered 340 yards on the ground to the Huskies. West Virginia might very well rush for 500 yards, but that doesn't mean their defense is going to be able to stop a balanced Pittsburgh offensive attack. West Virginia better not be looking ahead to Rutgers.

The play: Pittsburgh 2*

No. 21 Maryland @ No. 20 Boston College –7, 12 PM, ESPN

It seems to keep coming up in all of my columns, but here we have yet another game that will be instrumental in determining the ACC Atlantic title. If Maryland wins, they will play Wake Forest for a bid in the conference title game next week. A Boston College victory would muddle the picture further.

This game reminds me a lot of another ACC game that took place back in Week 8. In that game, Georgia Tech was a public underdog at Clemson and Clemson ended up crushing them. I played Clemson in that one, and while that result has no bearing on this game, I am going to take Boston College using the same angle.

The play: Boston College 2*

No. 2 Michigan +7 @ No. 1 Ohio St, 3:30 PM, ABC

This is the big one. I don't need to elaborate. Instead, I'll use this space to teach a very basic yet important sports wagering lesson. Big game does not = big wagering opportunity. The sportsbooks are extra careful when they set lines for these marquee games because this type of game generates a huge handle for them. In this case, they win simply by setting a line that will get them split action.

As for the game itself, there really isn't going to be an anti-public side to this one. I could make a case for both sides, which means I won't be playing this game big personally. The thing I keep coming back to when I evaluate this game is that I am not certain Ohio State's defense has truly been tested yet. Yes, I know they held Texas to seven points, but that was before Colt McCoy was fully broken in, and Texas still ran for 5.5 yards a carry in that contest. After the trip to Austin, the Ohio State schedule was full of teams that really don't bring much to the table on offense.

I am not confident enough in the Wolverine passing attack to forecast an outright victory in this contest, but I think they are the smart choice in this one at +6 or better.

The play: Michigan 1*

No. 7 Rutgers @ Cincinnati +7, 7:45 PM, ESPN

If Rutgers wins this game and the one in Morgantown next week, then they deserve to play in the national title game as 21-point underdogs to the Michigan/Ohio State winner. I know the Big East is weak, I know the SEC is very strong, I know Rutgers hasn't beaten anyone good from another conference, but they shouldn't be punished because they weren't ranked in the utterly useless preseason polls. That is the main reason they are only No. 7 right now. Auburn being left out in '05 was a crime against the SEC, but a 12-0 Rutgers team being included wouldn't be such.

Go ahead and take a deep breath, Florida and Arkansas fans, Rutgers probably won't even leave Ohio undefeated this weekend, let alone survive their trip to Morgantown. This is a really bad spot for the Scarlet Knights as they are facing a textbook sandwich game on the road against a steadily improving Cincinnati squad. Per usual, I'll be taking the points, but an outright Cincinnati victory is a real possibility.

The play: Cincinnati 3*

No. 17 Cal +6 @ No. 3 USC, 8:00 PM, ABC

Hidden beneath the shadow of the Ohio State/Michigan game lies what could be the most exciting game of the year. If USC can pull this one off, they will almost certainly inherit the BCS championship game slot that will have been vacated by the loser of the game in Columbus.

I've been eyeing this game for quite some time. I don't think anything separates Cal and USC, and while Cal's loss last week at Arizona was a bit disheartening, it probably added three points to this spread. I'll be taking the points in what could be one of my larger plays of the year. I think the Bears have a good chance to win this one outright, which would knock USC completely out of the BCS mix. I'll almost certainly be taking USC next week over Notre Dame. A USC loss this week will make them shorter favorites next week or so, I hope.

The play: Cal 3*

Please keep in mind that I am evaluating the most popular games for the purposes of this article. These games are not necessarily the best options available. You can more picks, results, and opinions on sports wagering at Ryan Hojnacki's website. This article is for entertainment purposes only. Sports wagering is not legal is most jurisdictions in the U.S. Sports Central does not encourage any individual to partake in illegal activities and holds no responsibility for actions taken as a result of this article. Check with your local laws before engaging in any wagering activities.

Posted by Ryan Hojnacki at 10:47 PM | Comments (3)

NCAA Tournament Sleeper Watch

The 2006-2007 NCAA basketball season is barely underway, and we've already had some shockers. Vermont, coming off a beat-down at Maryland, rose up to topple No. 14 Boston College. Virginia opened up their new arena with a run-and-gun victory over No. 10 Arizona, and Butler went in to South Bend and kicked the Irish out of the Pre-Season NIT.

What does it all mean? Maybe nothing in the end. But the seeds for tournament runs are always planted in the fall. Pay attention now, and you just might have something to brag about come March.

With that in mind, here are four early stories to keep an eye on. I'm intentionally not talking about ranked teams, because, well, that just wouldn't be as much fun, would it?

Washington State (Pac-10)

What? Washington State? You write a college basketball column about potential sleepers and you lead with Washington State? Are you effing retarded?

Sorry, but it's true.

Tony Bennett has taken over for his father, and he's in line to begin taking advantage of his recruiting efforts these past few years. While still off the pace of the top-tier Pac-10 teams (Arizona, Washington, and UCLA), the Cougars are going to battle their way into the thick of the second-tier with Stanford, Cal, Oregon, and USC. I'm betting the Pac gets five spots in this season's dance, which means two of those latter teams will get an invite. I'm putting my money on USC and Washington State.

The difference this year with Washington State is that Bennett, Jr. is actually going to let his team play offense. The Cougars have scored more than 70 in each of their first three games, going 3-0 with impressive wins against Wisconsin-Milwaukee and UAB in Milwaukee's home tournament. The way these guys play defense (second in the Pac in scoring defense last season), an offense that can score in the 60s or 70s consistently gives the Cougars a very real shot at 17-19 wins and .500 in the conference. That spells sleeper, baby.

Missouri (Big 12)

Living in St. Louis, you'd think I'd be bombarded with Mizzou hype, but it's been quite the opposite. I guess after years of watching Quin Snyder flail away with the clipboard, people are a little burned out on the Tigers. Most people are ignoring them outright, and even those paying attention seem resigned to at least a year or two of down times before the program turns around.

Big mistake. With Mike Anderson over from UAB, this is the team most likely to shock the Big 12. College basketball is the most susceptible to energy and enthusiasm trumping talent, and with Anderson in charge of a program filled with kids who were never as bad as Snyder made them look, this is the perfect "nobody loves us" team. Anderson knows how to play this card, and the Big 12 is just weak enough for the Tigers to make a serious move.

Houston (Conference USA)

For those of you who haven't been paying attention, Tom Penders has been building himself quite the program down there in football land. After a one-point loss to NCAA-super snub Missouri State in the NIT last season (to finish at 21-10), the Cougars return a lineup dominated by upperclassmen. Oliver Lafayette leads an explosive offense that feeds off a 40-minutes-of-hell-type defense (though I'm sure giving up 99 to Rhode Island isn't exactly the plan, even if it was in OT).

In a somewhat weakened Conference USA (UAB will be down in year one of the Mike Davis era), Houston should be able to rack up the wins. Road games against Arizona and Kentucky will keep their RPI respectable, helping their cause should they fall to Memphis in the conference tournament. If they get in, watch out.

The Mountain West

After last year's explosion from the Missouri Valley and Horizon conferences, nobody should be surprised when another "mid-major" all of a sudden has three teams in the bracket. This year, the Mountain West takes its turn.

San Diego State features one of the best scorers anywhere in senior guard Brandon Heath, paired with a legit inside force, fellow senior and All-MWC selection Mohamed Abukar (14 ppg as a junior).

New Mexico is set to enjoy two "major conference" transfers in Aaron Johnson (6-8 forward from Penn State who led the Big 10 in rebounding two years ago), and J.R. Giddens (6-5 guard from Kansas), a former McDonald's All-American expected to go in the NBA lottery.

And Air Force, the team everybody pointed at as not belonging in the last tournament, returns almost everybody from the team that led the nation in scoring defense last season and carries a 17-game home court winning streak. There's a 12/5 upset here. I can smell it.

So, there you go. It's week two of the season, and we have six teams on our Sports Central NCAA tournament sleeper watch. Let's see how it goes.

Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis, MO. His weekly NFL picks and daily NCAA men's basketball picks can be found at The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 10:16 PM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 35

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson turned his third consecutive second place finish, and now holds a fairly commanding 63-point lead with one race to go. Barring a disaster at Homestead, he will claim his first Nextel Cup championship.

"That's an awful lot of second places," says Johnson. "It would be heartbreaking if I built my points lead with second places then finished second in the Cup."

2. Kevin Harvick — Harvick won his fifth race of the year in dominant fashion in Phoenix, qualifying second and leading all but 50 laps. Harvick fought off Johnson down the stretch for the win, but trails Johnson by 90 points.

"Great!" says Harvick. "I picked up a whole 15 points on Jimmie. At that rate, I'll catch him by next November at Homestead."

3. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth lost more ground to Johnson with a disappointing 13th in Phoenix, characterized by the handling issues that have plagued the No. 17 team as of late. At one point during the race, Kenseth said over his radio that ne couldn't turn his car in a "30-acre field."

"What I meant to say was, 'Brian France couldn't turn this car in a parking lot without hitting a tree,'" says Kenseth.

4. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin finished third in the Checker Auto Parts 500 to remain alive in the championship hunt, barely. He, along with Kevin Harvick, is 90 points behind Jimmie Johnson. Hamlin's title hopes hinge on the hopes of abysmal performances at Homestead by Johnson, Matt Kenseth, and Kevin Harvick.

"I think winning the race myself would be easier than all of that happening," says Hamlin. "All I can do is drive and hope lightning strikes multiple times."

5. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Earnhardt finished ninth in Phoenix, and lost ground to points leader Jimmie Johnson. Earnhardt fell to fifth in the points, where he trails Johnson by 115, and is the lowest-ranked competitor still with a mathematical shot at the title.

"I was never good at math," says Earnhardt, "so you'd really have to do some explaining to convince me we have a chance. DEI is DOA."

6. Jeff Gordon — Gordon started on the pole in Phoenix and finished fourth, leading three laps. Gordon and Carl Edwards engaged in some hard racing on the track, which lead to some spirited banter on the radio. The two met afterwards to settle their differences.

"Sure, we settled our differences," says Gordon. "Here's one difference: I'm in the Chase, he's not. Here's another: he wasn't invited to appear in the booth on Monday Night Football."

7. Mark Martin — Martin scored his best finish of the Chase, finishing sixth after leading 26 laps, a laps lead number bested by only Harvick and Johnson. Martin moved up a spot in the points to eighth, where he is 273 out of first.

"I'm just excited to lead anything," says Martin. "And it's nice to be referred to simply as the 'leader' and not as the 'leader among drivers 47 and older.'"

8. Jeff Burton — Burton finally made it back into the top 10 with a 10th in Phoenix, which kept him seventh in the points, 225 out of the lead. Previously, Burton had finished 13th or worse in his last three races.

"It happened about four weeks too late," says Burton, "but we finally got all four wheels working at the same time."

9. Kasey Kahne — Kahne finished seventh in the Checker's Auto Parts 500 and improved one place in the points to ninth, where he is 319 out of first. Barring a win by Jimmie Johnson or Kevin Harvick at Homestead, Kahne will finish the season with the most wins, six.

"And barring a pole by Jeff Burton," says Kahne, "I will finish the season with the most poles, five. Six wins, five poles, and no championships. Sounds like a year Ryan Newman once had."

10. Kyle Busch — Busch was collected in a lap 272 incident when Tony Stewart bumped Jamie McMurray, causing McMurray to slam the wall. The No. 5 Hendrick Chevy suffered extensive damage, and finished 38th, which left him tenth in the points, 359 out of first.

"And just like Brian France," says Busch, "Tony got preferential treatment. Not even a reprimand. McMurray may be more forgiving than most, but I'm guessing Juan Pablo Montoya, making his Cup debut, won't be so accommodating should Stewart lay a bumper on him. After all, Montoya had to deal with Michael Schumacher."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 9:41 PM | Comments (0)

November 14, 2006

NFL Week 10 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* In the NFL, success involves a degree of luck, and the Giants' is taking a turn for the worse as injuries to key players continue to pile up.

* How many four-TD games can one man have? It seems like LaDainian Tomlinson lives in the end zone.

* Chris Gardocki's record for punts without a block is impressive, but we don't need to hear about it every week. What a tired, overplayed stat.

* You know FOX doesn't think highly of its viewers when it advertises for a commercial.

* Albert Haynesworth is (probably) coming back next week. Watch your forehead.

***

NFL officials, by and large, do an incredible job, so it's noteworthy when they make obvious mistakes. The most obvious of those come on replay reviews, when officials pervert the definition of indisputable visual evidence, ignore indisputable visual evidence, or simply issue make-up calls. Early in the third quarter of the Washington-Philly game, Brian Westbrook caught a pass on the Washington two-yard-line, then dropped the ball, which was picked up by Washington LB Lemar Marshall.

The officials ruled it a catch, down by contact, but Washington challenged, and replays clearly showed that Westbrook dropped the ball before any defender touched him. Referee Ron Winter, however, inexplicably upheld the call on the field, ruling that Westbrook was down by contact. The replays seemed to indicate that Westbrook had fumbled, and one could see how Winter might have ruled an incomplete catch, but the down by contact ruling was indefensible.

Referees trained by the league should have no trouble doing the same job that announcers and viewers at home can do with the benefit of replay.

Moving on to the power rankings, brackets show previous rank.

1. Indianapolis Colts [1] — Played better against Buffalo than the score shows, but the Colts are only +60 in point differential, which ranks fourth in the AFC and seventh in the NFL, behind 5-4 Dallas (+76) and nearly 100 behind Chicago (+152). Indianapolis has only won by more than a touchdown twice this season, against Houston in Week 2 and Washington in Week 7.

2. Chicago Bears [3] — So they're not the most consistent team in the league. Nobody — including the Colts — wants to play them. In their sloppy win against the Giants, Chicago shut down Eli Manning on defense and converted half of its third downs on offense. When Rex Grossman is on, I don't know if anyone can beat this club.

3. Denver Broncos [4] — In their first six games, both teams combined for 123 points. In the three games since, the Broncos and their opponents have combined for 146 — more than doubling their previous output. Some of that has to do with playing the Colts, but what happened to that record-setting defense?

4. Baltimore Ravens [5] — In Steve McNair's return to Tennessee, 16 of Baltimore's 19 first downs came through the air. Throwing is probably a good strategy for the Ravens, because Jamal Lewis is averaging 3.4 yards per rush for the second season in a row. Lewis is finished as an effective runner in the NFL.

5. San Diego Chargers [7] — Nate Kaeding made seven extra points this week. There's a temptation to overrate good offensive teams, but the Chargers haven't held an opponent below 20 in their last four games, and that 545-yard, 41-point debacle against Cincinnati isn't encouraging heading into their biggest game of the season, at Denver.

6. New England Patriots [2] — Don't look now, but New England might not win the AFC East. The Patriots are only up by one game, and an upset or two could have them looking up at the Jets. The team already misses Rodney Harrison, who is likely to be out for another month.

7. New York Giants [6] — I don't have anything to say about Eli Manning that I haven't said before. Little Manning and Michael Vick are the two most overrated quarterbacks in the league. When either one has a good game — just one game — people act like they're the second coming of John Unitas. Damon Huard strings together four games like that and people wonder about whether he should start.

8. New Orleans Saints [8] — Combined with Pittsburgh to produce nearly 1,000 yards of offense. Both teams converted more than half of their third downs, and New Orleans had a remarkable 29 first downs in the game. The Saints have allowed a league-low nine sacks, but they're only averaging 3.4 yards per carry, and Reggie Bush has been a big disappointment on the field so far.

9. Kansas City Chiefs [9] — You could blame the offense. Huard completed under 40% of his passes and got sacked three times. You could blame the defense. In four previous games as starter, Joey Harrington had thrown at least two interceptions in all of them, and he didn't have any against Kansas City. Or you could blame the Dolphins, who have a great defense and didn't make mistakes when they had the ball.

10. Seattle Seahawks [13] — Can effectively wrap up the division with a win at San Francisco in Week 11. Maurice Morris had his first good game of the season this weekend, rushing for 124 yards and an average of nearly six yards per carry, but Shaun Alexander should be back soon. It will be interesting to see if Alexander, who was overworked last season, ever returns to his MVP form. He's already missed a lot more games than projected.

11. Carolina Panthers [14] — What an ugly game on Monday night. It's hard to take the Panthers seriously while their offense is so inconsistent and so dependent on one player. Keyshawn Johnson has helped a little bit, but he's also become the most fumble-prone wide receiver in the NFL.

12. Philadelphia Eagles [15] — Let's not get too excited about their win against a punchless Washington team. Donovan McNabb went 4-of-16 in the first half, and Ladell Betts averaged over four yards per carry. The Eagles are last in the NFL in time of possession, giving up nearly six minutes per game.

13. Dallas Cowboys [16] — Tony Romo has been exceptional, with the second-highest passer rating in the league, trailing only Peyton Manning. The Cowboys are ranked third in total defense, second in third down percentage, and second in time of possession. Last week's loss to Washington notwithstanding, this has become a very dangerous team.

14. Jacksonville Jaguars [11] — Conversation in my house on Sunday: "A team with aspirations of winning its division can't afford to get swept by Houston." "No one can afford to get swept by Houston."

15. Cincinnati Bengals [12] — They've lost five of their last six games, and I feel kind of stupid for keeping them in the top half of the rankings, but those losses came against teams with a combined record of 32-20, and the only one that wasn't close was a month and a half ago.

16. Atlanta Falcons [10] — This was a big weekend for upsets in both college and professional football, but the Falcons are falling apart. This is not a team that responds well to adversity, and it's now lost two in a row and three of the last five. The defense played well against Cleveland, but the offense was a disaster. Vick had a 43.4 passer rating, lowering his season average to 73.2, which trails three guys who have been benched.

17. Pittsburgh Steelers [21] — Not to take anything away from a guy who had two runs of more than 70 yards this weekend, but how did Fast Willie Parker get caught from behind twice?

18. New York Jets [23] — Sweet win for Eric Mangini, establishing his team with a huge division victory against his old mentor, Bill Belichick. The Jets won by putting pressure on Tom Brady, sacking him four times, a season high for Brady. Maybe Mangini saw something in practice during his days in New England.

19. Green Bay Packers [22] — Three wins in their last four games, including road victories against the Dolphins and Vikings. The Packers, once invincible at home, are 1-3 at Lambeau Field but have a winning record on the road.

20. Miami Dolphins [29] — No team has been more impressive in the last two weeks. Following the bye, the Dolphins went into Chicago and won a blowout, then upset Kansas City at home. Miami is second in total defense this season, trailing only the Bears, and old man Jason Taylor has eight sacks.

21. Washington Redskins [19] — Better late than never with the quarterback change, but it's too late to save their season. The secondary is just getting torn apart, with teams really starting to pick on Sean Taylor and Carlos Rogers.

22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [18] — It wore down at the end, but you can't blame the defense for their loss against Carolina. Ronde Barber had a monster game, and Dewayne White ( filling in for Simeon Rice) made some really nice plays. Isn't Jon Gruden supposed to be an offensive coach? Four years after his departure, this team's successes can still be traced to Tony Dungy.

23. St. Louis Rams [20] — Four losses in a row. So much for being a serious contender. The offense is in place — Steven Jackson is really coming into his own — but the defense needs some serious work this offseason. The Rams haven't held an opponent below 20 points since September.

24. Minnesota Vikings [17] — Three losses in a row since their big win over Seattle, and the offense seems useless. The Vikings have dropped to 25th in points scored, Chester Taylor leads the team in receptions, and no one is averaging 40 receiving yards per game. Troy Williamson, who fans hoped might replace Randy Moss, has had a total of one catch in the last two games.

25. Buffalo Bills [24] — Most of the teams in this area of the rankings seem too low, but Buffalo has lost four of its last five games. And while three of those losses were to the Patriots, Bears, and Colts — which doesn't sound too bad — they came by a combined 56 points, which is pretty bad.

26. Cleveland Browns [25] — Against Atlanta, they only managed nine first downs, including 2-of-14 on third downs. They lost two fumbles, only posted 236 yards of total offense, and Charlie Frye was sacked five times. I guess the defense played well, but really, how do you win with an offensive performance like that?

27. Houston Texans [26] — This is very simple. When you are +4 in turnovers, you will win, as long as you are not the Cardinals. Houston had pressure on David Garrard all afternoon, netting four sacks to go with their four interceptions.

28. Tennessee Titans [28] — Steve McNair threw the winning pass to Derrick Mason, and the Titans lost. That has to kill Tennessee fans. Did anyone else notice that the announcers called Vince Young "McNair" about half a dozen times? Don Criqui also called James Brown "J.R."

29. San Francisco 49ers [30] — Frank Gore had a monster game, and the defense played well again, containing Detroit's offensive weapons and forcing three turnovers. The 49ers are 4-5, and while they're not playoff contenders, they've already doubled their win total from last season, and there's a decent chance they have a better record than your favorite team.

30. Detroit Lions [27] — Couldn't get their defense off the field, allowing 10 third-down conversions and giving up an incredible 17½-minute deficit in time of possession. Their three biggest stars — Jon Kitna, Kevin Jones, and Roy Williams — all lost fumbles against San Francisco.

31. Oakland Raiders [31] — The defense had another good game, and the offense played better than usual, but they still lost. If Warren Sapp keeps playing the way he has the last few weeks, he could be a contender for Comeback Player of the Year.

32. Arizona Cardinals [32] — Against the Cowboys, Edgerrin James averaged four yards per carry for the first time all season, and Larry Fitzgerald — playing in his first game since returning from injury — led the team in receiving. To make up for that, Matt Leinart threw two interceptions and James lost a fumble.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 4:10 PM | Comments (1)

November 13, 2006

Nets Arena May Not Grow in Brooklyn

The New Jersey Americans were one of the teams that started the ABA in 1967, only to move east a year later. They traded in the Teaneck Armory for the Long Island Arena in Commack and eventually put together a strong club that won two championships in the rival league.

Constantly playing second fiddle to the corporate New York Knicks and Madison Square Garden, the Nets have been overlooked. Even during this period when they have excelled and the Knicks have struggled. They have had trouble with attendance at the Continental Airlines Arena, with a spattering of empty seats being seen even during playoff games.

When Bruce Ratner purchased the team, he had full intentions to eventually move to Brooklyn. He was looking to build a basketball arena ironically enough at the same location where Walter O'Malley had visions for a new Ebbett's Field in the 1950s. The hold-up at that time was a wholesale meat distributor that served New York City was in place there and the politicians did not want to uproot them. They called O'Malley's bluff and lost. The Dodgers moved to Los Angeles after the 1957 season, and the meat distributor? They ended up moving from their Downtown Brooklyn location a year later.

No such problems this time around with the food industry. But there is the issue with relocating businesses and tenants currently there. On October 26th, a group filed a federal lawsuit charging that the seizure of their property under eminent domain was unconstitutional. The suit named not only Ratner, but New York State Governor George Pataki and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, as well.

What the outcome will be remains to be seen. If the Nets do not move to the borough of churches, then the Garden State may have to house them for a while longer. The New Jersey Devils are building a new arena in Newark, which will the leave the Nets as the lone occupant of the Continental Airlines building.

It's obvious that the Nets will have to deal with the small crowds and second-class citizen status if they remain in Jersey. During sales negotiations in 2004, Charles Wang, owner of the New York Islanders, was looking to purchase the team and bring them back to the Nassau Veteran's Memorial Coliseum. That is the same place where they had their best run as an organization. Julius "Dr. J" Erving led the Nets to two titles in the last three seasons of the ABA.

Will the Nets ever have a true "home-field advantage" playing in New Jersey? Debatable at best. They do have their core of faithful fans, but not enough to fill the building on any given night. They have tried to make it a more exciting time with a mascot and a dance team. Superstar players and reaching the NBA Finals are usually ingredients for success at the gate. But the Nets have not been able to use that to their advantage.

Is the answer moving to the city? Initially, there would be some excitement and curiosity concerning the new arena. But in the long run, this will always be a Knicks town. The Nets will have to win a NBA championship to buck that trend.

The New Jersey Devils have been one of the most consistent teams in the NHL and have enjoyed champagne from the Stanley Cup on more than one occasion. But there's something missing when your victory parade is in a parking lot compared to the Canyon of Heroes. Hence, the same problem the Nets would have even if they went all the way while playing in New Jersey.

For what it's worth, the Nets have a team that must be reckoned with in the Eastern Conference. Their "big three," consisting of Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, and Richard Jefferson, can carry the team on any given night. Nenad Krstic showed a nice touch from the outside for a big man last season and should improve this year.

The Nets may have had the strongest collective draft than any other team in the NBA. They chose two UConn players back-to-back in the first round. Marcus Williams fell to them at number 22, and expects to be the main backup to Kidd at point guard. Big man Josh Boone was picked next and suffered a shoulder injury during mini-camp and is expected to miss the next two months. When he returns, he should be a spark off the bench at the four or the five.

The Nets will most likely have a good season, win their division, and get passed the first or second round of the playoffs. All the while under the radar screen. The headlines will read more of the long season the Knicks are experiencing and the Isiah Thomas job watch. Just another season for the Nets of New Jersey.

Posted by Joe Pietaro at 8:27 PM | Comments (0)

November 11, 2006

Look At Me, I'm Stephen Jackson

Look at me, I'm Stephen Jackson! Stephen Jackson, NBA superstar! That means I can do whatever the hell I want, whenever the hell I want, however the hell I want. Playing 82 games a year for the Indiana Pacers is a grueling, stressful job, so every once in a while, I like to go out and enjoy myself. I'm allowed to, after all, I am Stephen Jackson! They make basketball cards of me! I make millions of dollars! I own things! I play in the NBA!

Me and my buddies are going out tonight to have some fun.

We will bring guns.

David Stern can tell me that I can't take my gun into the arena (that's fine, I still have my fists). David Stern can tell me that I can't take my gun with me on team trips. The government can tell me I shouldn't take my gun into a bank, school, or liquor establishment. However, David Stern and the government can't tell me I can't take my gun out with me and my buddies to have a little fun.

Leave my gun at home, just for protection? What are you talking about David?

I need it for protection when I leave my home.

And did I mention, to have some fun.

I will be packing tonight, in bars, restaurants, and clubs of all kinds.

What will I tell people when I arrive? I will tell them, "Look at me, I'm Stephen Jackson!"

Look at my fists.

Look at my jewelry.

Look at my posse.

Look at my car.

Look at my gun.

I will make a scene at some point in the night. It's not question of if, it's a question of when. For some reason, people are always pressuring me when I'm out just having a good time. They want to cause trouble. They want to bring the vibe down. They don't want Stephen Jackson and his gun having a good time.

So when that happens, I will defend my honor. I will defend my name ... my fists, my jewelry, my car, my posse, and my gun.

I will not be held responsible for being a "role model."

I will not worry about the name on the front of my jersey, just the name on the back. After all, it says JACKSON! As in, Stephen Jackson, me. My name is not Indiana Pacers.

Yes, when the time comes, after me and my buddies have had all the expensive liquor, naked girls, and debauchery we can handle, I will defend myself.

I will defend myself, even if it means threatening the lives and safety of innocent bystanders.

You, in the fourth row, watch out.

You, in Row A, seat 2, watch out.

You, minding your own business having a good time with your friends, watch out for the gunshots.

You, in the striped shirt, I will shove that gyro down your throat.

I mean it.

I will commit "errors in judgement" without thinking once.

Some people may be scared of the law. Some people might be scared of breaking their probation and facing the possibility of jail time. Some people might look at the millions of dollars that the Pacers organization gives me and wonder why I don't show a little more restraint.

Who's going to defend the name of "Stephen Jackson" if I do that? Answer that conundrum. Who? Rick Carlisle? Sure, Rick Carlisle is going to go toe to toe with those three guys in the Cadillac at 3:00 AM. David Stern? Sure, he'll just invite those fine gentlemen to his office in New York to work things out over a tea party.

I bet Rick Carlisle isn't even man enough to own a gun. I bet David Stern would keep his in a triple-lock safe in the back of his closet.

Schmucks.

I will continue to make Ron Artest look like a better human being and responsible player.

My actions will constantly make the NFL thankful that they have an age-limit and remind them how lucky they are that Maurice Clarett never won his lawsuit (speaking of a man who knows how to have a good time and defend himself).

I will do the same.

Look at me, I'm Stephen Jackson!

Posted by Vince Grzegorek at 11:05 PM | Comments (2)

November 10, 2006

BCS Scene: Crystal or Mud?

The BCS picture could do one of two things in the next month: either become crystal clear or as clear as used motor oil. Once again, the college football season is turning out to be an exciting and — potentially — controversial one, depending on what happens over the remaining four weeks. But whatever the outcome, it should be a dandy to watch.

First off, what could be more satisfying to college football fans than to see one of the greatest rivalries involve the top two teams in the land? Of course, both No. 1 Ohio State and No. 2 Michigan have a game before their big tilt on Nov. 18, but is there any reason to believe one or the other won't stay undefeated? The Buckeyes have Northwestern (3-7) while the Wolverines face Indiana (5-5) before the big showdown in Columbus. A loss by either team would probably out-shadow Southern Cal's loss to Oregon State a couple weeks ago.

If the predictions hold true and both are unbeaten after this weekend, the only certainty prior to the game will be the fact that the winner will play in the national championship game come January. The bigger question, though, is who will they face?

Fresh off a stunning come-from-behind win over Louisville, Rutgers has entered the discussion. At No. 13 in the BCS, even if they finish undefeated, getting a shot at the title game will be a long one. And, getting to 12-0 might be a bit of a feat, as well, since they end the season at West Virginia, who definitely are playing the rest of the season with a chip on their shoulder after being manhandled at Louisville last week. Essentially, the Scarlet Knights' role for the rest of the year will be spoiler for schools ahead of them in the BCS.

One other team has the likelihood of finishing the season with an unblemished record — Boise State. It seems like we talk about them every year being the unheralded team that puts together a dynamite season, but gets no respect for it. Of course, playing in the Weak, er, I mean, Western Athletic Conference, doesn't help. But putting together a second undefeated regular season in the last four is quite an accomplishment. And it doesn't look like there's much standing in the way of finishing without a loss with San Jose State (6-2), Utah State (1-8), and Nevada (6-2) left to play. That means that everyone in Smurf-Turf-ville will be crying for a big BCS game since their team posted a goose egg in the loss column. Nice try, Broncos, but not this year — again.

What are the other effects of Louisville's loss Thursday? Well, No. 4 Florida would probably be the next most likely opponent for either the Bucks or Wolverines, assuming they get out of the SEC without another loss, including the conference championship game. The regular season shouldn't be a problem for the Gators, though, with remaining games against South Carolina (5-4) in their conference finale, 1-AA Western Carolina and Florida State (5-4) in Tallahassee. That would set them up in a SEC title game against either Arkansas or Auburn.

The Razorbacks (8-1) are probably still scratching their heads at how they can be No. 11 in the BCS and the Tigers No. 6. After all, Arkansas beat Auburn 27-10 just a few weeks ago and haven't lost since their embarrassing 50-14 loss to USC in the season-opener. I thought the BCS was all about "what have you done for me lately?" In Arkansas' case, it's not — it's about tradition and prestige, which is why they'd love nothing more than to finish the rest of the season without a loss and get to that SEC title game with Florida.

But both Arkansas and Auburn have a couple of tough games remaining on the schedule. Arkansas has Tennessee (7-2, No. 16 BCS), Mississippi State (3-7), and LSU (7-2, No. 12 BCS) left, while Auburn has Georgia (6-4) and Alabama (6-4). It would seem that Arkansas has the most formidable foes left, but even two wins of their last three keeps them in Atlanta since they hold the head-to-head tiebreaker with the Tigers. With Louisville's loss, if Auburn could somehow manage to win the SEC championship and enough pollsters shy away from a rematch of Ohio State/Michigan in the national championship game, the Tigers might end up there, which would really fizz the Arkansas faithful. Let's say, though, that all that pans out except for Arkansas winning the SEC title. Enter Texas.

The Longhorns are currently No. 5 in the BCS at 9-1, and with games remaining against Kansas State (6-4) and Texas A&M (8-2, No. 25 BCS), and the potential of facing a weak North Division foe in the Big 12 title game in either Nebraska, Missouri, or the Wildcats, they could eventually end up playing in the title game again. How 'bout a rematch of the game earlier this year between Texas and Ohio State, assuming the Buckeyes beat Michigan in a couple weeks? The Longhorns were No. 2 at the time, remember? Hmmm.

Three other teams that could figure in the mix, although in a very remote way, are USC, Cal, and Notre Dame. The Trojans have the distinction of having to play both the Bears and Irish before the end of the season. If they win both of those, beat Oregon this week ,and UCLA in the season finale, and if Florida, Auburn, and Texas all falter down the stretch, we could see a "Rose Bowl classic" in Arizona with USC facing either Ohio State or Michigan. That would be fun.

But the most likely scenario, in my mind, if one of the non-Ohio State/Michigan teams lose before the bowl season, is a rematch in the desert. Having No. 1 and No. 2 square off at the end of the regular season, then do it again for the national championship would be a treat in itself. I don't think it's ever been done before, and just having conference rivals ranked 1 and 2 is somewhat of a rarity. The last time No. 1 and No. 2 played a conference game was in 2000 when No. 1 Florida State beat No. 2 Virginia Tech 46-29. It only happened five times before that, not counting independents, dating back to 1963.

Whatever the outcome is, though, "we hold these truths to be self-evident" — that an undefeated team will play in the national championship, another might be held out, and a whole bunch of others will be thinking they should have a shot. Hang on, fans; it's gonna be a wild ride to the end!

Posted by Adam Russell at 10:48 PM | Comments (2)

November 9, 2006

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 10

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Baltimore @ Tennessee

The hatred from this old AFC Central rivalry will carry over as the Ravens, fresh off last Sunday's defeat of the Bengals, travel to Nashville to face the Titans, who were titanically bullied by the Jaguars 37-7.

"Hate is a pretty strong word," says the Titans Jeff Fisher, "and a perfect one to describe my feelings towards Brian Billick and the Ravens. 'Abhor' and/or 'despise' would also do the trick. Anyway, we realize this version of the Ravens is very much like the Super Bowl-winning team of 2001: a dominant defense, efficient offense, and a man I hate as coach."

The Ravens have a full two-game lead in the AFC North after beating Cincinnati. As they have done often, the Ravens' defense scored a touchdown to give the offense an early cushion and the opportunity to pound Jamal Lewis. That kind of ball control keeps the defense rested, should they be called upon to score another touchdown.

"Vince Young, you've never seen a defense quite like this one," says Billick. "And you thought he had trouble with the Wonderlic test. We're going to bring all the heat we have against those Tennessee hillbillies. And don't tell me they're not hillbillies. After all, No. 15 on the University of Tennessee's football team is named 'Jim Bob Cooter.'"

Once again, the Baltimore defense sets up the offense with a short field when Young is intercepted by linebacker Adalius Thomas, nicknamed "Kama Sutra" for his mastery of all positions. Lewis punches it in for a quick 7-0 lead, and the Ravens don't look back.

Baltimore wins, 26-10.

Buffalo @ Indianapolis

With Chicago's loss to Miami, the Colts are now the league's only undefeated team, a badge earned the hard way with back-to-back wins on the road in Denver and New England. With two huge wins under the belt, are the Colts primed for a letdown?

"Yes, we are,” says Peyton Manning. "After conquering the Patriots, and the 'Phantom Fourth Down Conversion,' overconfidence could be a problem. Luckily, we're playing the Bills, and a letdown is still good enough for a beatdown. But, we're not underestimating the Bills by any means. If I've learned nothing else in my life, I've learned not to insult the Bills, and certainly not to disparage Buffalo's prodigal sons, the Goo Goo Dolls. I thought Buffalo citizens were passionate about their sports team. Shoot, not as passionate as they are about the Goo's. That Johnny Rzeznik can sing, and he's pretty darn cute, to boot, especially with makeup."

The Colts receive a standing ovation from their home crowd, and Indy homeboy John Mellencamp greets the team with his mid-'80s hit "Rain On the Scarecrow." Not Manning's favorite Mellencamp tune, the Indy QB, with a simple hand signal, orders Mellencamp to check down to "Pink Houses." It's enough to create a playoff atmosphere in the RCA Dome, despite the presence of the Bills.

Manning hits Reggie Wayne for a score in the first quarter, and adds two more passing TDs. The Bills, without Wilis McGahee, find offense hard to establish.

Indianapolis wins, 27-13.

Cleveland @ Atlanta

So, are the Falcons legitimate playoff contenders? Despite last week's 30-14 loss in Detroit, Atlanta is 5-3, and, if the playoffs started today, would qualify as a wildcard. So, yes, the Falcons are playoff contenders. The question is: how long would they remain in the playoffs? The Falcons have yet to string together three straight wins, and as it stands now, they've only beaten teams that wouldn't make the playoffs.

"Playoffs!? Playoffs?!" exclaims Atlanta coach Jim Mora, Jr. "Aww, look. You almost got me to say it. Anyway, I can't repeat that complete quote made famous by my father. If I do, I risk copyright infringement. Dad's copyrighted that saying. He's got them on t-shirts, baseball caps, and even has a movie in the works on Lifetime Network called Playoffs!? Playoffs!? You're Asking Me About the Playoffs?: The Jim Mora, Sr. Story. But that's beside the point. We've got our minds on one thing, and that's the Browns, although the Ravens the following week is of concern."

Cleveland lost to the Chargers last week 32-25 in a game that wasn't as close as the score indicated. And the Browns will be hard-pressed to beat the favored Falcons in Atlanta.

"Look, we know Atlanta's got a lot going for it," says Cleveland quarterback Charlie Frye, who leads the NFL in turnovers. "After all, Hooters and Waffle House are headquartered there. Great food and hot waitresses, and Hooters ain't bad, either. Anyway, Cleveland's got it going on, too. We've got the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and LeBron James. But, sadly, we have no logo on our helmet."

Atlanta has already beaten two teams from the AFC North, Pittsburgh and Cincinnati. Add Cleveland to that list. Alge Crumpler hooks up with Vick, and the Falcons pile up 180 yards on the ground.

Atlanta wins, 23-14.

Green Bay @ Minnesota

It wasn't a good day for the NFC North, as the top three teams in the division, including the undefeated Bears, went down. The Packers lost in Buffalo, while the Vikings managed just three points in a 9-3 loss in San Francisco. That's a total of 10 points scored by the Vikings in their last two losses.

"Hey, the Wild would kill for that kind of production," says Minnesota head coach Brad Childress, "but it is intolerable in my book. When your offense is single-leggedly beaten by the opposition's kicker, you know the offense is in trouble, and blame falls squarely on the shoulders of Brad Johnson, who turned the ball over three times against the 49ers. Finally, I understand the frustration that Mr. Hand must have felt with Jeff Spicoli."

"Hey, Coach Childress,” say Brett Favre, heartburn-free, "give Brad Johnson a break. He's 38-years-old, for Christ's sake. He's almost as old as the Super Bowl. And he's a good ole country boy, just like me. I know he's nowhere near catching Dan Marino in touchdown passes, but Brad's the only quarterback in NFL history to catch a touchdown pass from himself. That's talent right there. I bet that caused some confusion in the box score."

In this battle of two of the oldest quarterbacks in the league, who will be the "Ageless Wonder" and who will be the "Ageless Blunder?" Favre limits his mistakes, and throws two TD passes, one each to Donald Driver and Ahman Green. After one score, Favre simulates "mooning" the Metrodome crowd, an antic found hilarious by Joe Buck.

Packers win, 24-20.

Houston @ Jacksonville

Backup quarterback David Garrard threw for three touchdowns to lead the Jaguars to a 37-7 drubbing of the Titans, the Jags' second-straight win. Garrard, filling in for Byron Leftwich, who has been bothered by an ankle injury, hit Ernest Wilford for two TDs, and the Jacksonville offense continued to click under Garrard's leadership. Is there a quarterback controversy in Jacksonville?

"Hey, don't ask me," says Jack Del Rio. "Ask Byron. He made the announcement last week that Garrard would be the starter. Apparently, he's annointed himself team spokesperson. I don't know where he's getting this insider information about team decisions. Oh, wait a minute. I told him to his face that he wasn't starting. Hey Byron, here's the scoop: you'll be the starter if David falters, or if we trade him to Pittsburgh for Ben Roethlisberger."

In Week 7, the Texans upset the Jaguars, 27-7. That won't happen this time, especially with Leftwich sulking on the pine. Maurice Jones-Drew rushes for a score, and Fred Taylor follows with one of his own.

Jaguars avenge Week 7's defeat and win, 23-9.

Kansas City @ Miami

The Dolphins took Arizona's incomplete blueprint on how to defeat the Bears and filled in the blanks in a shocking 31-13 win over the Bears in Chicago. Much to the delight of the 1972 Dolphins, the Dolphins forced six Chicago turnovers, four by Rex Grossman, and Jason Taylor returned an interception 20 yards for a score.

"We beat the Bears at their own game," says Taylor. "It's a fact. It's written. When an undefeated Bears team faces the Dolphins, the Bears will lose. Man law?”

Man law.

And guess who the Dolphins face in Week 17? The Colts, currently undefeated and already on the minds of the 1972 Dolphins. But that's in the future. Nick Saban's glorious tan may have faded by then, but the Dolphins' turnaround won't be complete unless they beat the Chiefs in Miami. To do so, you've got to do one thing: stop Larry Johnson.

"Larry Johnson is the man,” says Edwards. "At least for this week. Now, if Priest Holmes is healthy next week, I'll be in a pickle. Don't ask me questions about starters, especially not at quarterback. I've got a tough decision to make next week. Do I go with the hot hand, Damon Huard, or do I choose the veteran, Trent Green? I'm sure whatever decision I make will be criticized. But that's okay. As long as my decision gets top billing on 'Pardon the Interruption,' I'll be happy."

The Dolphins will try to pressure Huard into mistakes, but there's a simple solution to that: give the ball to Johnson. L.J. takes a screen pass from Huard on the Chiefs' first possession and races 32 yards for a score. K.C. intercepts Joey Harrington twice, and Johnson finishes the day with 145 yards on the ground.

Chiefs win, 23-10.

N.Y. Jets @ New England

Tom Brady threw four interceptions, losing his personal duel with Peyton Manning, as the Patriots fell to the undefeated Colts in Foxboro last Sunday night. Brady had thrown only four interceptions in the Patriots' previous seven games. Was it just a bad game, Tom, or good defense by the Colts?

"Neither,” says Brady. "Two of those picks were tipped at the line of scrimmage and one went right through the hands of Kevin Faulk. Of those four interceptions, I take responsibility for only the first one. Also, it doesn't help to look over at the sideline and see Bill Belichick wearing a girlie headband. What's he doing? Coaching, or going on a ski outing with Suzy Chapstick?”

New England's loss gave the Jets a glimmer of hope in the AFC East race. Should they upset the Pats, New York would pull to within one game of the division lead. And with a bye week to prepare, the Jets feel confident they can hold their own.

"I saw something last Sunday night that I never thought I would see,” says Chad Pennington. "But I really don't care to discuss my Internet habits right now. Anyway, I actually saw confusion in the eyes of Tom Brady. I don't know if it was because of the Indianapolis defense or not. Maybe he had just read Bill Belichick's injury report. Whatever the reason, our defense will give us a chance Sunday."

The rested Jets take an early lead on Pennington's pass to Laveranues Coles, but a late Pennington interception seals a 19-13 win for the Patriots.

San Diego @ Cincinnati

The Bengals are reeling at 4-4 after last Sunday's pistol-whipping courtesy of division rival Baltimore. Carson Palmer is taking more hits than a dirty website, and teammates are bickering. After a 3-1 start, the Bengals are not gellin' like felons and have dropped three of their last four.

"Will we win again?” ask Marvin Lewis. "There ain't no tellin'. I'm so upset with my team's play, my eyes are wellin'. Bobbie Williams is my right guard, and he be smellin'. Carson's knee will soon be swellin'. My favorite Winslow is Kellen. One more loss, and I'll blow my top, like Mount St. Helen.”

San Diego's LaDainian Tomlinson rushed for three touchdowns and 172 yards last week against Cleveland. He will be the main focus of a Bengals' defense rated 24th in the NFL.

"I'm going to run through that defense like a Bengal through a police checkpoint,” adds Tomlinson. "Without stopping. After the game, I'll make a donation to a needy cause, possibly the 'Bail a Bengal' charity.”

In their four losses this year, the Bengals have given up an average of 158 yards on the ground. That number should be attainable by Tomlinson, and his backup, Michael Turner, might get there, as well.

L.T. rushes for two scores, and San Diego "ochenta y sies's (86's)” the Bengals, 31-21.

San Francisco @ Detroit

Detroit's Jon Kitna threw for 321 yards, including a 60-yard touchdown to Roy Williams, as the Lions outgunned Michael Vick and the Falcons 30-14. Kitna is fifth in the league in passing yardage, and is thriving in the offense that Mike Martz brought with him from St. Louis.

"I've got to hand it to Martz," says Kitna. "Any offensive scheme good enough to make Kurt Warner an MVP and Super Bowl champion must be brilliant. I know Kurt's having a tough year, but I can see him back where he started — bagging groceries in Iowa."

Joe Nedney's three field goals were the 49ers' only offense in San Fran's 9-3 upset of the Vikings. The 49ers are 3-5, and should they win Sunday, and the Rams beat the Seahawks, then San Fran would only be one game out of first in the NFC West.

"Who says the balance of power resides in the AFC?” asks Niner coach Mike Nolan. "There are 16 potential playoff teams in the NFC; there's only about eight in the AFC. I guarantee a win by the NFC — in the NFC championship."

Kitna and Williams have formed one of the most potent combinations in the NFL, and they hook up nine times for 112 yards and a touchdown. In the fourth quarter, a second Kitna-to-Williams TD pass is overturned, which sends Lions' season ticket holder Rasheed Wallace into a rage, resulting in his ejection.

Detroit wins, 27-14.

Washington @ Philadelphia

With their season on the line, Washington pulled out a 22-19 win over Dallas to improve to 3-5, which doesn't sound too great until you scan the NFC standings and see that 3-5 means you're in playoff contention. Now, over in the AFC, 3-5 wouldn't get you a bologna sandwich, or K-Fed's new album, Playing With Fire, which dropped October 31st.

"It dropped October 31st?" asks Joe Gibbs. "What? Out of the Billboard Top 200? I've listened to Playing With Fire, and I've got to tell you, it blows. Daniel Snyder's got more rhyme skills than K-Fed. Get ready, 'cause on November 14th, D-Snyder's new album Phat Ho's, Phatter Wallets drops, and it should easily bump Playing With Fire out of the No. 315 spot on the album sales chart."

Speaking of "playing with fire," the Eagles could lose their fourth straight with a loss to the Redskins.

"Hey, I've always said, 'If you play with fire, you get burned," comments Donovan McNabb. "And speaking of Playing With Fire, K-Fed's new CD, it won't get burned. Who wants a copy of that, even if it's free? No wonder Britny dumped him. Hey Brit, if you're looking for a real man, look for another one besides me. Now, let's talk about what's real. No, not the Redskins. I'm talking about my new clothing line, Super Five. I'm very proud of my designs. I put my heart and soul into it, and even puked a few times along the way. As you can tell by our record lately, I've put more into Super Five in the last four weeks than I have football.”

McNabb throws for 220 yards and rushes for a score, and the Eagles eke out a 21-17 win.

Denver @ Oakland

Taking a cue from Burt Reynolds, Oakland quarterback Andrew Walter, who was sacked nine times by the Seahawks on Monday, walks into an offensive line meeting carrying the letter "B” and a giant combination lock.

"Guys, can I get a block?” asks Walter.

Soon realizing he's made a terrible mistake and is actually standing in front of Oakland's defensive line meeting, Walter tries to make a dash for the door, but runs smack dab into Warren Sapp, who plants Walter on his back.

"Let that be a lesson to you, Walter!" yells Sapp. "If you see a defender, run the other way, not right into him.”

Denver rebounded from it's 34-31 loss to the Colts with a 31-20 over the Steelers in Pittsburgh. Javon Walker scored three touchdowns, two on passes from Jake Plummer and one on a 72-yard reverse. Take away Walker's 72 yards rushing, and the Broncos' rush totals would have been 48 yards on 22 carries.

"That's unacceptable," says Denver's Mike Shanahan. "We'll have to establish a traditional running game against the Raiders, because they have a decent pass defense. So my theme for this week is: I gotta have more Mike Bell."

Bell could only muster 28 yards on the ground versus the Steelers, but he should triple, maybe even quadruple that against the Raiders.

Denver wins, 19-3.

Dallas @ Arizona

So, let me get this straight. Washington kicker Nick Novak missed a 49-yard field goal with 31 seconds left, then won the is game with a 47-yarder with no time left? And sandwiched between all that was a block of Mike Vanderjagt's 35-yard kick, which was returned into Dallas territory by Sean Taylor with 15 yards tacked on for a face-mask?

"Yep, that's what happened," says Bill Parcells, who kissed and hugged exactly zero of his players after the game. "You give an NFL player a second chance, nine times out of 10, he comes through. That applies to Terrell Owens. Look, I don't mind if T.O. falls asleep in a meeting, but he absolutely can't fall asleep on the receiving end of a perfect 72-yard scoring pass from Tony Romo."

Arizona is the NFL's last one-win team, and rumor has it that coach Dennis Green won't be back next year. In fact, it's widely believed that an organization-wide shakeup is in the works, so much so that it's already got a name: "Razing Arizona."

"If you want to can my ass, then can me!" yells Green, reviewing tape of the Cards' 24-23 loss to the Bears. "I know I don't have a snowball's chance in Phoenix of keeping my job, but a win over the Cowboys should at least get me a few extra vacation days, shouldn't it?"

The Cowboys have followed each of their previous three losses with wins in their next games. That trend will continue. Tony Romo keeps Owens happy with two touchdown passes, and the Cowboys win, 34-17.

New Orleans @ Pittsburgh

Hey, Bill Cowher. If I were to tell you that your quarterback would throw for 434 yards in a game, what would you say?

"That's not Steeler football,” replies Cowher.

What if I told you that same quarterback threw three interceptions?

"I'd say that guy would be my starter this week."

I thought you'd say that. But at least you know Ben Roethlisberger's arm is in shape. He threw 54 passes last week.

"My arm feels great," adds Roethlisberger, "and so does my head. So far, this month has been a November I can remember. We realize at 2-6, we're in deep trouble, but we're not done. Sure, I've heard all the jokes. I like my steaks 'well done.' My favorite country duo is 'Brooks and Dunn.' Favorite movie? Legends of the Fall. But we're not ready to throw in the Terrible Towel just yet. We got into the playoffs last year with a 10-6 record. We can finish 10-6 this year if we run the table. It's not time for a concession speech, although if we need one, I'm sure former Steeler Lynn Swann has a fresh one ready. Hey, are those vultures circling overhead?"

This has the makings of a shootout. Pittsburgh still has a potent rush defense, so the Saints will be forced to pass. And it's not like the Steelers lacked offense against a good Denver defense.

Pittsburgh wins, 38-30.

St. Louis @ Seattle

Once again, it's a showdown for first place in the NFC West as the 5-3 Seahawks host the 4-4 Rams. It was only four weeks ago that the Seahawks rallied from a 21-7 halftime deficit in St. Louis and eventually won on Josh Brown's 54-yard field goal as time expired.

"That kick took the wind out of the Rams," says Brown, "much like Tyler Brayton's knee to the groin did to Jerramy Stevens? You know, it was cool back when the Raiders were good and dirty. They disguised their cheap shots much better than Brayton did. I think Tyler's been playing too much "Blitz: The League” video game, where actions like that are totally legal. It's even endorsed by Bill Romanowski, who apparently played his entire career as if he was in the video game.”

The Seahawks will have to play one more game without injured starters Matt Hasselbeck and Shaun Alexander. They are both scheduled to return on November 19th at San Francisco.

"Why rush it?” asks Alexander. "We don't have any division losses yet; the Rams have two. We don't need this game as much as the Rams do. If we win, great. If we lose, no problem. Let's face it. The winner of this division is playing for the No. 4 seed in the playoffs. I think 9-7 will do just fine.”

Unlike the Raiders, the Rams' offense results in points, not $25,000 fines. Marc Bulger throws for 285 yards and three touchdowns, and this time, Jeff Wilkins' long field goal wins in for the Rams.

St. Louis wins, 27-24.

Chicago @ N.Y. Giants

Chicago coach Lovie Smith was not happy with his team last Sunday, as the Bears turned the ball over six times in a 31-13 loss to Miami at home, which put an end to the talk of an undefeated Chicago season.

"You think I'm unhappy?” says Smith. "I bet NBC is really irate. They could have had the undefeated Bears facing the Giants in hostile New York. But nooooo! We had to go out, turn the ball over six times, and lose badly to the Dolphins. And four of those six turnovers were Rex Grossman's. I'm beginning to wonder if Rex has an opposable thumb on that right hand."

The Giants may have been looking ahead to the Bears last week. They were heavily favored against the Texans at home, but needed a late Eli Manning to Jeremy Shockey touchdown to close out Houston.

"If we win this game," says Manning, "then you'd have to call us the favorite in the NFC. Unfortunately, that will start all the 'Eli versus Peyton' Super Bowl talk. But it would be great to play my brother and the Colts in the big one. No matter the outcome, no one could ever again say a Manning hasn't won a Super Bowl."

Injuries will play a factor: the Giants will be without Michael Strahan and Amani Toomer, while Bears starters Brian Urlacher and Bernard Berrian are questionable. I'll take the New York offense, backed by the maniacal New York fans, over the Chicago defense.

New York wins, 23-17.

Tampa Bay @ Carolina

Anytime the Panthers and Bucs hook up, the physicality reaches a fever pitch, and somebody ends up going down.

"Hey, that reminds me,” says Carolina head coach John Fox. "This week marked the first anniversary of the incident in which two Panther cheerleaders got jiggy in a Tampa bar bathroom stall. Ah, good times. I can't get that image out of my mind. And why would I want to? As hard as it is to get that off our minds, we know that we're in a must-win situation. We can't afford any more losses at home."

The Panthers last home game saw a fourth quarter meltdown in which they gave up 25 points and lost to the Cowboys, 35-14. Carolina's downfall was marked by dropped passes, muffed punts, missed assignments, and general bad play.

"What we are lacking is team unity,” says Julius Peppers, the Carolina defensive leader, "much like the kind of unity shown by our cheerleaders, just without the physical contact. Sometimes, a simple handshake is enough.”

The Panthers use the Monday night stage to show that they are still a team capable of playoff success, at least until their next disappointing performance, probably in Week 11. Peppers sacks Gradkowski on the Bucs first possession, and Jake Delhomme hits Steve Smith for a score on the Panthers' third play from scrimmage. Carolina doesn't look back.

Panthers win, 30-10.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 11:55 PM | Comments (3)

Gridiron to Hardwood: A Convergence

This Sunday, I woke up ready for football. I had my picks in, my fantasy lineups set, and the added bonus of having my team (New England) playing on Sunday night, giving me full range of motion on the NFL Sunday Ticket.

Twelve hours later, I was checking out college basketball schedules, trying to figure out if I really thought Mustafa Shakur could lead the Arizona Wildcats to the Final Four.

What the hell happened?

***

Indianapolis 27, New England 20: The Pats got shown up at home by the Colts for the second straight year. Tom Brady looked like Rex Grossman, and (I hate to say it) the Pats just got out-coached. Rodney Harrison got hurt, the Pats didn't run the ball enough, Corey Dillon looked old, and the rookie kicker looked anything but capable of replacing the greatest clutch kicker of all-time.

Oh, and can we make a rule that it's cruel and unusual to have to watch a player carve up your defense, then star in two out of every three commercials? I mean, come on! How much money does the jerk need?

Add to it all that my wife figured out our newborn son is named after Adam Vinatieri (not a great conversation), and I went to bed with a serious football hangover. I just needed a break, didn't even watch a single play in the Seahawks/Raiders game (though I did see the knee-to-the-balls replay, that was nice).

One quick note on the Colts before I go on:

The Colts have the most prolific offensive machine this side of the 2001 Rams, but it would be a historic upset for a defense this bad to even make the championship game, let alone win it.

To wit:

No team allowing more than five yards per attempt on the ground has ever even made the Super Bowl. The Colts are at 5.3.

The Colts' defense is on pace for only 22 sacks. That would be the lowest total ever for a Super Bowl participant.

The Colts allow an amazing 64.4% completion rate for opposing quarterbacks. That would be the worst for any team making the Super Bowl.

The Colts defense, as currently constituted, would be the worst ever to play in the Super Bowl. I'm not saying the Pats are going to make it instead, but don't let the Peyton sheen blind you to the very rotten inner core of this team. You don't win championships with horrible defense. It just doesn't happen.

***

Anyway, I woke up Monday with bronchitis, had to go to work anyway, scramble to make a deadline with a vicious cough, and was just worn out.

And then, on Tuesday, a shining light from my computer, courtesy ESPN.com: “UNC's Hansbrough heads AP preseason All-Americans.”

If the NFL is 1 (and it still is, no matter how bitter I get), NCAA hoops is an oh-so-close 1a.

A little background: I'm from Rhode Island. In high school, I would stay up to watch the late broadcasts of Pac-10 games from the west coast. I watched Damon Stoudamire and Khalid Reeves bombing three-pointers, Reggie Geary and Ray Owes giving up their bodies, big guys like Joe Blair running the floor (which I was not used to seeing in the Big East, which was still using the six-fouls-per-game rule). Lute Olson became my icon, and Pac-10 basketball my new passion.

I decided to go to Arizona, eschewing my early decision entry into Syracuse. I became a journalism major so I could get a job at the Arizona Daily Wildcat (school paper), then covered the women's basketball team for a season before moving on to the men.

In the preseason before the 1999-2000 season, I got to sit in Olson's office for a one-on-one interview, talking about his incoming freshman class that included Luke Walton and Richard Jefferson. I turn to my right and see the 1997 championship trophy, with the net he cut down hanging over it. I completely lost my train of thought, blanked, and just stared at Olson. He smiled and went on talking, told me he thought Walton would turn out to be the most complete player in the class. Top five coolest moment in my life.

The Pats/Colts game still stings, mind you. I'm not jumping off the NFL just because college basketball has come around. But somehow knowing I'm only days away from seeing Olson and long-time assistant Jim Rosborough lead a new crop of young players makes it just a little bit better (Chase Budinger, Pac-10 Freshman of the Year — write it down).

***

So I delve into the All-America story and realize there's not a single player from the Big East, Big 10, or Pac-10 on the first team (they don't have second and third teams in the preseason). The team is composed of three players from the SEC (Joakim Noah, Ronald Steele, Glen Davis), one from the ACC (Hansbrough), and one from the Big 12 (Brandon Rush). There's a lot to happen between now and March Madness, but I guarantee you this: at least one Big East, Big 10, or Pac-10 player will make first-team All-American.

In the Big 10, Wisconsin's Alando Tucker (the Big 10 Preseason Player of the Year) leads a conference that has undergone major transformations since last season, but that nonetheless may sneak in as many as eight teams in the 2007 NCAA tournament. And if you believe the pack of recruiters/scouts/leeches who have been hanging around Greg Oden since he started walking, he may just lead Ohio State to the Final Four, win the Big 10 Player of the Year award, make first team All-American, make a sex tape with Paris Hilton, walk on water, then take over for David Stern as commissioner of the NBA.

From the Pac-10, UCLA guard Arron Afflalo (the top vote getter who didn't make the preseason list) is the most obvious choice, but don't sleep on Washington sophomore forward Jon Brockman. Huskies coach Lorenzo Romar knows how to feature his best player (see: Roy, Brandon), and Brockman has the size, quickness, and aggression to become a 20-10 guy this season. Watch out also for Marcus Williams of Arizona.

In the Big East, there is a drop from the star-studded cast of 2006, though with 56 teams in the conference, there's bound to be a star in the making somewhere. Of the players who have already built a name, I could see Pittsburgh center Aaron Gray, the conference preseason POY, getting some national buzz. Another great story would be if Villanova senior forward Curtis Sumpter, who passed up a chance to make a run for the title last season so he could preserve his final year of eligibility, put together a good season.

There are some other players in the ranks of the mid-majors who might merit some consideration, Nick Fazekas (Nevada), Brandon Heath (San Diego State), and Jamaal Tatum (Southern Illinois) among them, but I don't see them climbing into the top five nationally. (Now the Final Four, that's another question...)

So who makes the 2006-2007 All-America squads?

First team:

Brandon Rush, G, Kansas
Acie Law, G, Texas A&M
Glen Davis, F, LSU
Tyler Hansbrough, F, North Carolina
Jon Brockman, F, Washington

Second team:

Reggie Roby, G, Colorado
Ronald Steele, G, Alabama
Nick Fazekas, F, Nevada
Al Thornton, F, Florida State
Joakim Noah, F, Florida

Third team:

Brandon Heath, G, San Diego State
Chris Lofton, G, Tennessee
Marcus Williams, G-F, Arizona
Josh McRoberts, F-C, Duke
Jared Dudley, F, Boston College

College basketball is back, and it's just what I needed. Now if we can just somehow get Peyton Manning to choke in the playoffs...

Seth Doria is a freelance writer based out of St. Louis, MO. His weekly NFL picks and daily NCAA men's basketball picks can be found at The Left Calf.

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:14 PM | Comments (0)

Surprise Starts in the NBA

When the top four teams from last year's playoffs have combined for five wins and 13 losses, there are bound to be some surprise teams that are higher up in the standings than what was expected. The NBA season is only one week old and nobody could have predicted the start that we have seen. Some teams that were proclaimed to be destined for the lower half of the league are showing that they can surprise, while many teams that were thought to dominate are simply falling short.

The whole week can be summarized by one play seen on opening night — a Tyrus Thomas put back dunk overtop of Shaquille O'Neal. Nothing can say "out with the old and in with the new" quite like the jam by that youngster.

The Hawks, Lakers, Hornets, 76ers, and Jazz have also had their fair share to say as they have turned the predicted standings on its head early on. There is no way for us to believe that this trend is going to continue for the remainder of the season or even the rest of the month. However, why not enjoy the show while it's happening? The time is now to cut out the standings page from the paper and to give praise where praise is due.

Sure, the early season may not be treating the Heat, Mavericks, Pistons, or Suns very well so far, but we can all safely bet that they'll get back on track and be battling it out come playoff time. They will get their glory then, but for now, some attention must be given to the surprises of the young season.

With that said, let's take an in-depth view of the teams that are turning heads across the NBA.

Atlanta Hawks (3-1)

Many experts thought that Speedy Claxton's much-anticipated starting role with the Hawks would bring dividends. Well, the Hawks have seen highflying results, but Claxton has had little to do with it.

Joe Johnson has been on fire throughout the first week of action, averaging almost 28 points a game on 48% shooting. However, it is rare for one player to carry a team all by himself, and Johnson's leadership of the Hawks is no exception. Zaza Pachulia has been averaging over 18 points per contest and Tyrone Lue rescued them from the grave against the Cavaliers. Lue hit a buzzer-beating runner over LeBron James to tie the game at 90 before Joe Johnson stole the show in overtime to carry the Hawks to a 104-95 victory over the Cavaliers.

These Hawks have plenty to be happy about and have a good opportunity to keep things going for another week as they face the Raptors, Sonics, and Bucks. They are bound to settle down one day or another, and they will, but there is no reason why it has to happen just yet. Hawks fans: enjoy the ride while you can.

Los Angeles Lakers (4-2)

The Lakers are giving the Clippers a push in the Battle of Los Angeles and have proved that they aren't a one-man team, as they were often accused of being last year. Without Kobe Bryant in the lineup, the Lakers pulled off big wins against the Phoenix Suns (114-106) and the Golden State Warriors (110-98). They then continued their success with the superstar in the lineup.

Andrew Bynum has been a big surprise so far, building upon a solid preseason and making himself the probably starter, even after Chris Mihm and Kwame Brown return from their injuries. He has shot 66% from the field and pulled down 7.2 rebounds per game while also providing a defensive presence down low (1.3 blocks/game).

However, the true story in L.A. has been teamwork. All the pieces of the puzzle have seemingly fallen together for this squad. Lamar Odom has been piling on the points when needed (28 ppg without Kobe) and Luke Walton has developed into a nice complimentary player (15.3 ppg, 5.5 rpg, and 3.8 apg).

It's significant to note that this team is doing all of this with barely any help from Vladimir Radmanovic, their key offseason signing. As he comes along and begins to gel with his new team, there is no telling what could happen. If they can continue to rely more on teamwork and less on Kobe being a one man squad, then they'll be able to avoid collapses like what happened last night in Portland and possibly emerge as a solid playoff contender in the West.

New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets (4-0)

The Hornets are leading the NBA! The Hornets are leading the NBA! Two times for good measure in the same way that they won two home-openers for good measure. After pulling out a close one at home in New Orleans against the bolstered Houston Rockets, they followed it up the next game in Oklahoma City with another tight victory, this time against the Golden State Warriors. Their victories have all been within 10 points, but that is no reason to put them down. Great teams are defined by how they close out in the clutch, and this young squad is proving that they can do just that.

The Hornets have added a lot of talent with the additions of Peja Stojakovic, Tyson Chandler, and Bobby Jackson. However, with as much press as these signings have received, you'd think that they were carrying the team throughout each one of the victories.

However, rather than taking over games, they have simply found their roles alongside the biggest ticket in (the) town(s): Chris Paul. The young sophomore point guard has had his way with opponents throughout the first four games. Paul is averaging 17.5 ppg, 10.8 apg, and 4.5 rpg and shooting 50% from the field. The young Hornets have a bright future with this kid leading the way, however, they have a long way to go before they can truly prove themselves worthy of serious recognition — as they have failed to make the playoffs ever since being moved to the Western Conference in 2004/2005. Big tests coming up this week include the Clippers and the Pistons.

Philadelphia 76ers (3-2)

Iverson is still waiting for an NBA championship and in all likelihood, he'll continue to wait. However, the 76ers have got off to a strong start with big wins over the highflying Hawks, the improved Magic, and the Shaqless Miami Heat. The only thing this team is missing is a killer instinct, and this will be what keeps them away from continuing the success they saw in their first three games.

The Sixers have been surging under Iverson's lead, however, if they don't give him any more help than what they've been doing, then they'll continue to have problems down the stretch, as seen with their fourth-quarter collapse against the Indiana Pacers and the two-point loss to the rebuilt Raptors. Nonetheless, they are still in a very good position in the standings and have a lot of positives to draw from the previous four games.

Allen Iverson is leading the NBA in scoring with 31.4 ppg. The amazing thing, with all the shots he's putting up, is that he is also dishing out over 9 assists per contest. Kyle Korver is also showing some promise in his first season as a starter, putting up 16 ppg and providing a consistent outside touch. Chris Webber is shooting just 34% from the field with a measly 10 ppg (compared to his career average of 21.6 ppg). This team has had a surprising start by winning their first three games, but they will not continue to surprise anybody by having an Iverson-dominated offense.

The Sixers have always relied on Iverson to do all the work and they continue to do so. He has always done his job and kept the team respectable, however, that will continue to be the best-case scenario. Look for Philly to fall right back into the pack sooner or later, because there is no way that this team is better than 6th spot in the East.

Utah Jazz (4-1)

The Utah Jazz are singing along to their great start to the season. They have been very impressive with two victories over top-tier teams (Phoenix and Detroit), a 10-point win over the improved Houston Rockets, and a blowout victory against the fastbreak Golden State Warriors. Their only loss came to, arguably, the best offensive team in the Eastern Conference, the New Jersey Nets.

Everybody on this jazzy roster is stepping up and playing their part in the success. Carlos Boozer is doing all the grunt work, averaging 19.4 ppg and 12.4 rpg. Deron Williams is continuing the magic that we saw in the last half of last season, providing 13.2 ppg and 6.4 apg. Also, Mehmet Okur is proving that last year was no fluke, and is chipping in 17.4 ppg and 9.2 rpg while providing strong defense, as well, blocking Richard Hamilton's shot in the final seconds of the 103-101 victory over Detroit. All in all, the Utah Jazz are proving to be a together team.

The tests, however, will continue to come and the Jazz will have to keep up their strong play in order to maintain their stranglehold on the West. They couldn't quite handle the Nets to start their three game road trip and will have to get back on track as they head into Milwaukee and Los Angeles (Clippers) before returning home. As long as Andrei Kirilenko stays healthy, this team will always have a chance to compete because of the defense he brings. The key to their continued success, however, relies mostly on their sophomore point guard. If Williams can hold up, then so can the Jazz.

Posted by Chad Kettner at 10:41 PM | Comments (0)

November 8, 2006

College Football Predictions: Week 11

I've had a pretty good run so far this year with my Sports Central college football picks. It's funny, though, because the truth of the matter is that I am actually down for the year for college and up huge on the year for the NFL as far as my own personal picks go. In short, take what I have to say with a grain of salt. Good luck this week.

YTD Record

1* = 7-4-1
2* = 8-7-1
3* = 8-5

1* = Gun to my head, I'd play the team listed (risky)
2* = A good chance of covering; a worthy play (fairly confident)
3* = I will be playing this team for a large chunk of money (very confident)

Louisville @ Rutgers +6.5, Thursday 7:45 PM, ESPN

Undefeated seasons, conference championships, and national title hopes are all on the line in this contest. I am sure this is just the way ESPN imagined things panning out when they selected this particular game for their Thursday night slate over the summer.

This is a huge spot for both teams. Louisville has a legitimate shot of playing for the whole ball of wax, and this game is the biggest remaining barrier between them and Glendale. Rutgers, on the other hand, has never seen a contest so big in its not-so-decorated history. This is a huge spot for the players, the school, and the entire state of New Jersey.

None of the hype will matter once the first whistle blows. The fact that the line was set below 7 has me worried about the same Louisville team that I gushed over a week ago. I think that Louisville will find a way to squeak by in this one, but I certainly am not willing to lay the points.

The play: Rutgers 1*

Miami +2.5 @ Maryland, 3:30 PM, ABC

At this point, I wouldn't be at all surprised if Miami failed to make a bowl this season. They really are that bad, and to think they are going to turn things around simply because it says Miami on their jerseys would be retarded. Maryland has been a surprise thus far this season, and they need only to split against Miami and Boston College over the next two weeks to set up a monstrous battle with Wake Forest for the ACC Atlantic title.

Larry Coker is going to get fired at season's end, and I am not sure his players really care. I backed Miami last week, and I got burned, but that has never stopped me in the past. This number is calling for people to take Maryland, which means I have no choice but suck it up again and back the 'Canes. This won't end well.

The play: Miami 2*

South Carolina @ Florida -13.5, 3:30 PM, CBS

Plenty of others are going to be writing about Spurrier's return to Gainesville, the Gamecocks quest for another bowl bid, and Florida's SEC title and BCS championship aspirations, so I am just going to skip that portion of the write up if you don't mind.

I don't see much of a betting angle in what is certain to be the most over-hyped game on the Saturday card. Normally, I'd like South Carolina getting less than two touchdowns in this spot, but this line just feels like it wants Gamecock action. I am not a huge fan of this years' version of the Gators, but I think they could stomp SC in this spot. Please tread lightly.

The play: Florida 1*

Notre Dame @ Air Force +11.5, 4:00 PM, CSTV

I've already mentioned this many times so far this year in my column, but once more won't hurt, Notre Dame football = overvalued. You don't have to believe me, but you might want to look at the stats. The Irish are a mere 2-6-1 ATS thus far this year.

The fact that Notre Dame has been abysmal against the spread this season isn't a good reason to play Air Force. However, the fact that Notre Dame is laying less than two touchdowns to an Air Force squad that lost by 7 at home to the very Navy team that Notre Dame destroyed earlier in the year is reason enough for me.

The play: Air Force 3*

Tennessee @ Arkansas -5.5, 7:00 PM, ESPN 2

The general perception of these two teams seems to be that Arkansas is fortunate to be 8-1 and that Tennessee is unlucky not to be 9-0. I don't necessarily agree with this, but I can see how many would come to this conclusion.

I was surprised by this number as I thought Arkansas would be laying about three or four here. I think that you are going to see a lot of people take Tennessee thinking that the 5.5 is a gift. I hate laying chalk and thus rarely play favorites, but this line just seems suspiciously high to me. I'm not sure if I will play it myself, but if I do, then I'll be backing the Hogs in this one.

The play: Arkansas 1*

Please keep in mind that I am evaluating the most popular games for the purposes of this article. These games are not necessarily the best options available. You can more picks, results, and opinions on sports wagering at Ryan Hojnacki's website. This article is for entertainment purposes only. Sports wagering is not legal is most jurisdictions in the U.S. Sports Central does not encourage any individual to partake in illegal activities and holds no responsibility for actions taken as a result of this article. Check with your local laws before engaging in any wagering activities.

Posted by Ryan Hojnacki at 7:56 PM | Comments (0)

Invincible Bears Predictably Exposed

So the Bears aren't going 16-0. Were we really having that conversation last week? The same team that is led by Rex Grossman? Those Chicago Bears?

The same Bears who needed a miracle — that was a direct intervention from God — to avoid losing to the Arizona Cardinals? Those Bears? Undefeated for the entire season? Has everyone gone completely insane?

I know it was last year, but doesn't anyone remember the Bears getting absolutely dominated in the playoffs, at home, to Carolina?

And if it's non-competitive losses you like, look no further than 2002, when the same Bears more or less (self challenge — see if you can pick out who's who in a lineup of Jim Miller, Rex Grossman and three average looking, non-descript white guys) were thumped at home by the Philadelphia Eagles.

I feel like that guy in Walk the Line who tells Johnny Cash "we've already heard that song before, just like that, just like how you sang it." I've already seen this Bears team before, playing just like that, just like how they play, and I have a feeling I know how it will end.

Is their defense good? Sure, at least statistically — and it better be considering the division they've played in over the years. The Vikings, Packers, and Lions — oh my.

Seriously, how many times in the millennium have we seen Joey Harrington, head in hands, with a Bears defender dancing in the end zone?

Shockingly enough, one of those times wasn't Sunday — can't wait to hear that Joey Harrington is maturing talk, even though his completion percentage was 50% and he still threw two picks.

The Bears' problem, though, as it seems every year, is their lack of offense. They need someone more threatening than Thomas Jones and Rex Grossman. True, that formula worked for Baltimore in 2001, but that defense was an all-time great. The Bears defense let the Arizona Cardinals move the ball against them — at will.

And if Minnesota's Chester Taylor hadn't fumbled, and if the worst team in the league hadn't succumbed to the largest fourth quarter collapse ever, the Bears would be 5-3, and all this nonsensical discussion would have been quashed long ago.

But this is the NFL, and people are always fond of believing that something, no matter how many times we have seen it before, may change. For instance the Denver Broncos, who's defense was being compared with the Ravens' — that is until the last two games, where they've given up a combined 1,000 yards and 54 points.

That, coupled with Jake Plummer being their quarterback, makes me think they will be just as unsuccessful in the playoffs as they have been in recent years. Does anyone truly believe the Broncos are a legitimate Super Bowl contender? Are we supposed to believe that Marty Schottenheimer has learned the error of his ways, too, and won't play to lose in a big spot?

So the Bears will probably win the division, and more than likely host a playoff game, where they will be totally exposed, again. Maybe this time the rest of America will be a little more prepared for it.

Posted by Piet Van Leer at 7:49 PM | Comments (1)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 34

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson — Johnson completed his ascension to the top of the points with a second in Texas, his fourth-straight result of second or higher. Johnson followed race winner Tony Stewart across the line and now holds a 17-point lead over Matt Kenseth.

"Never has it felt so good to finish second to Stewart," says Johnson. "I'm going to follow the No. 20 car to the title, then thank my lucky stars that Tony didn't make the Chase."

2. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth suffered a litany of problems in Texas, including a poor qualifying effort, chronic bad handling, a pit row speeding penalty, and a spin. Still, he finished 12th, and trails Jimmie Johnson by only 17 points.

"But my relationship with Scott Riggs' team is on good terms," says Kenseth. "While I don't condone the actions of that crewman, I also don't condone the actions of Kevin Harvick. Not for wrecking Riggs, but for using his wife Delana to break his fall."

3. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Earnhardt fought off the effects of the flu to pull out an improbable sixth in Texas to stay within striking distance of points leader Jimmie Johnson. Earnhardt is now third, 78 behind Johnson.

"It's one thing to have the flu," says Earnhardt, "but it's an entirely different beast when you have the flu and hit the wall. Although I think the wall knocked the fever out of me."

4. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin scored his 18th top 10 of the year with a 10th in the Dickies 500 that left him fourth in the points, 80 behind Johnson. The No. 11 team missed he setup, expecting sunny weather instead of the rain and overcast skies predicted by weather forecasters.

"Since when has a weather forecaster been right?" asks Hamlin. "We checked the Farmer's Almanac and it called for sunshine. It also advised me that the time is right to pick my cabbage."

5. Kevin Harvick — Harvick rebounded from his 31st in Atlanta to finish third in Texas, and improved his points standing to fifth, where he trails Jimmie Johnson by 105. With three laps to go, Harvick got under Scott Riggs, which sent Riggs spinning into the wall. After the race, a member of Riggs' team shoved Harvick, who fell into his wife Delana and a NASCAR official, knocking all three to the ground.

"If Riggs wants to send one of his henchmen to do his dirty work, that's fine," says Harvick. "I've got someone to do my dirty work for me, as well. It's called my car. Watch your backs, Riggs' team members."

6. Jeff Gordon — Gordon started 23rd and worked his way through the field, albeit with persistent handling difficulties, and eventually finished eighth. That improved his points position to sixth, but he is 157 out of first with virtually no chance of his fifth points title.

"It's not like I don't have some stakes in these final two races," says Gordon. "Don't forget, I own Jimmie Johnson's car. And I have no problem calling Jimmie's first championship my fifth."

7. Jeff Burton — Burton blew a tire and hit the wall on lap 89, and eventually finished 38th, 70 laps down. He fell two places in the standings and lost 100 points, and now is 184 out of first.

"Three weeks ago, I was first in the points," says Burton. "Since then, I've dropped six places and suffered almost as many tire problems."

8. Mark Martin — Bad luck for Martin started early in Texas. He suffered an unavoidable crash into Tony Raines' sliding car in Saturday's last practice session and was forced to go to a backup car on Sunday. Starting at the back of the field, Martin did well to move up to 22nd, one lap off the pace.

"I've had my share of crashes in the actual races," says Martin. "Now, I'm getting wrecked in practice? What's next? A drunken Paul Tracy rams my car as we're taking it out of the hauler?"

9. Kyle Busch — Busch picked up his best finish of the Chase, finishing fourth, one of three Hendrick cars in the top 10, and leading two laps in Texas. He improved two spots in the standings to eighth, 233 behind Jimmie Johnson.

"Three Hendrick guys in the top 10," says Busch, "and Brian Vickers on the pole. Vickers obviously didn't get that qualifying setup from one of us."

10. Kasey Kahne — Kahne challenged Stewart for the lead on a few occasions late in the race, but an engine failure on lap 327 ended his day. He finished 34th, and fell one place to last in the points, 290 out of first.

"Hey, I may be last in the points," says Kahne, "but you've got to consider me the favorite to win it all next year. Of course, everyone said the same thing about Carl Edwards last year."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 7:37 PM | Comments (2)

November 7, 2006

NFL Week 9 Power Rankings

Five Quick Hits

* U.S. citizens, don't forget to vote today, Tuesday, November 7.

* Congratulations to Tiki Barber, Julius Peppers, Robbie Gould, Peyton Manning, Champ Bailey, and Justin Miller, the NFL's Players of the Month for October.

* Devin Hester and Santonio Holmes have breakaway potential as returners, but they've caused their teams a lot of problems by not holding on to the ball.

* The Bears signed Olin Kreutz to a contract extension this week, meaning Lance Briggs is probably gone at the end of the season. When your team spends a week thinking about money, there's probably not enough attention about that week's opponent.

* Marques Harris, that was the most impressive TD celebration in a long time.

***

Under Bill Belichick, the Patriots have been consistently successful on the football field, but they win no friends off it. New England is starting to build up a bad reputation for disloyalty to its players. The list of valuable contributors who left New England is long, including marquee names like Lawyer Milloy, Ty Law, Deion Branch, Willie McGinest, and Adam Vinatieri. Even Patriot fans were classless this week, booing Vinatieri and chanting a very naughty word after an obviously correct call by the officials went against their team. If the Pats aren't careful, no one will want to play for them.

On to the power rankings, brackets show last week's rank.

1. Indianapolis Colts [2] — The first team in history to win consecutive road games against teams that were 5-1 or better. Even though the flaws on defense are still there — and Bob Sanders' return should help with that — the Colts are starting to look unbeatable again. If you're looking for likely pitfalls, keep an eye on Week 14 at Jacksonville, and Week 17 against Miami. I'm half-joking on that one, but the Dolphins seems to have a knack for playing spoiler.

2. New England Patriots [3] — Committed five turnovers for the first time since before they'd won a Super Bowl. Cris Collinsworth should publicly apologize for nominating Tom Brady as his player of the day, and shame on the 16% of voters who agreed with him. It didn't affect who won, but the Patriots caught a break when Ron Winter inexplicably gave Brady a first down before the end of the first half, rather than calling for a measurement.

3. Chicago Bears [1] — No one wants Kyle Orton back, but the Bears, with their great defense, might be better with a game-managing quarterback than a gunslinger like Rex Grossman. When Grossman is on, the Bears win by 25 (which they've done an incredible five times this year), but when he's off, Grossman puts Chicago in a position to lose to teams like Miami and Arizona. The Bears don't need him to play aggressively.

4. Denver Broncos [4] — The offense has shown signs of life the last few weeks, with consecutive 31-point performances. Javon Walker, acquired from Green Bay for a second-round pick this April, has proven to be the team's most explosive weapon. The Packers, whose receiving corps has been decimated by injuries and suspensions, really miss Walker.

5. Baltimore Ravens [7] — After a soft schedule to open the season, they've toughened up, going 3-2 against opponents with a combined record of 26-14. The Ravens held Cincinnati to one third-down conversion, and now rank fifth in third-down defense, tied for fourth in sacks, third in total defense and scoring defense, second in rush defense, and first in opponents' average per rush, opponents' completion percentage, and interceptions.

6. New York Giants [5] — Dropped one spot from last week, less because of their uninspiring win over Houston than because of good play by the Ravens and the injury to Michael Strahan, which I believe is really going to hurt this team.

7. San Diego Chargers [6] — Overcame 12 penalties (for over 100 yards) to beat the Browns. The defense, minus Shawne Merriman, still tallied five sacks, but all the talk was about LaDainian Tomlinson, who for some reason is being discussed as the best running back in history. This came up last season, too, and Tomlinson wasn't even the best RB in 2005, much less ever. L.T., great as he is, hasn't earned comparisons to Jim Brown, and he's not a better all-around player than someone like Walter Payton or Marshall Faulk.

8. New Orleans Saints [9] — Embarrassed Tampa's pass defense. Drew Brees had 314 yards, three TDs, and a 136.7 passer rating. Two New Orleans receivers had over 100 yards, Brees wasn't sacked all game, and the Saints averaged nearly 10 yards per pass. Sean Payton and his staff have done a superb job this year.

9. Kansas City Chiefs [11] — Since opening 0-2, they've won five of their last six games, including victories against good teams like the Chargers and Seahawks. Tony Gonzalez has been on fire the last three weeks, averaging over 100 yards per game. Kansas City's offense could struggle if all-pro guard Brian Waters, who was injured on Sunday, misses much time.

10. Atlanta Falcons [8] — The whole team contributed to the loss against Detroit. Michael Vick committed three turnovers. The defense couldn't stop Kevin Jones (140 total yards, 2 TDs) or Roy Williams (138 yards, TD). Lions kicker Jason Hanson hit three field goals and returner Eddie Drummond had a 30-yard punt return. Team effort, losing in all phases of the game.

11. Jacksonville Jaguars [17] — Four times in their eight games, the Jaguars have held the opponent to seven points or less. That includes a shutout win against the Steelers, a 41-0 rout of the Jets, a win at Philadelphia, and Sunday's 30-point blasting of the Titans. It's hard to believe this is the same team that got blown out by Houston a couple weeks ago.

12. Seattle Seahawks [15] — Someone should tell Jerramy Stevens that you're supposed to be good before you get to act like a jackass. But have you seen anything uglier this season than Tyler Brayton kneeing Stevens in the groin? Oh yeah, Albert Haynesworth kicking Andre Gurode in the head. Still, Brayton deserves a multi-game suspension.

13. Cincinnati Bengals [10] — Interviewed after the loss to Baltimore, Chad Johnson seemed like he was on the verge of tears describing his lack of opportunities to do stupid dances. Johnson has changed from being an excellent wide receiver who had fun on the field to a crybaby who hurts his team and only cares about himself.

14. Carolina Panthers [13] — The running game has been a real disappointment, ranking 26th in the league. DeShaun Foster has always shown promise, but he's struggled with injuries and split time with Stephen Davis. Now, as the featured back, he's been okay, but nothing special.

15. Philadelphia Eagles [14] — The bye came at the right time for this staggering team. After their two-touchdown victory over Dallas improved the Eagles to 4-1, they looked like the team to beat in the NFC East. After their third straight loss, in Week 8, they looked like they were reeling. If Philadelphia is for real, it should win the next two games — at home against Washington and Tennessee — without much trouble.

16. Dallas Cowboys [16] — I don't think Terrell Owens minds that everyone is talking this week about his drops and his 15-yard celebration penalty. At least they're talking about him. The blocked field goal at the end of the game clearly involved protection problems, but Mike Vanderjagt sure didn't do anything to change the perception that he's a choker.

17. Minnesota Vikings [12] — Two ugly losses in a row after their impressive win at Seattle in Week 7. The Vikings dominated San Francisco statistically, but couldn't put points on the scoreboard. Brad Johnson had three turnovers for the second week in a row, and if that happens again next week, he's going to get benched.

18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers [18] — Don't make big plays on defense any more. The Bucs are tied for 29th in interceptions (4) and tied for 30th in sacks (12). This despite that the defense is always on the field, since Tampa Bay has no running game.

19. Washington Redskins [22] — What a crazy finish to the Dallas game, another chapter in one of the greatest rivalries in the league. A series of improbable events like that — the blocked kick, Sean Taylor's return, the penalty to extend regulation, the deciding field goal with no time left on the clock — is what makes the NFL so fun.

20. St. Louis Rams [19] — You know a player is good when he's eighth in receiving yards, tied for eighth in receptions, and tied for first in receiving touchdowns. And you know he's great when all of that is true, and it seems like he's having a down year. Torry Holt doesn't generate as many headlines as Chad Johnson, and he doesn't play on a great team like Marvin Harrison, but he just might be the best wide receiver in the league.

21. Pittsburgh Steelers [21] — Frustrating, because they have the potential to be very good, but Ben Roethlisberger can't stop throwing interceptions. The Steelers continue to beat themselves with penalties and turnovers, showing a real lack of discipline, and you blame the coaching staff for that. Right now, the Steelers aren't even the best 2-6 team in the NFL.

22. Green Bay Packers [20] — Outgained the Bills 427-184, with 26 first downs to Buffalo's 11, but they finished -4 in turnovers and lost by two touchdowns. At the halfway point of the season, Brett Favre has 11 TD passes and seven interceptions. At this rate, he'll finish the season with career totals of 418 and 269, respectively. That would leave him second on both lists, two behind Dan Marino in touchdowns and eight behind George Blanda in INTs.

23. New York Jets [23] — At 4-4 and with an easy schedule, the Jets have to be considered playoff contenders, but they're obviously inferior to Jacksonville and the second- and third-place teams in the AFC West. Even if Cincinnati fades and the AFC West teams beat up on each other, I don't see the Jets making the postseason.

24. Buffalo Bills [24] — The irony is killing me. Or at least killing the Bills and Texans. Two weeks ago, I praised David Carr as a potential Pro Bowler, and the next week he played so badly he was pulled out of the game. Last week, I pointed out how much of the workload Willis McGahee was carrying for Buffalo, and on Sunday, he broke a rib.

25. Cleveland Browns [27] — A week after breaking out against the Jets, Reuben Droughns was held to 36 yards and a 1.9 average. Charlie Frye had an interception and a lost fumble against San Diego, and is tied with Roethlisberger for the most turnovers in the league.

26. Houston Texans [25] — Lost their 12th consecutive road game on Sunday, and the fun's just going to continue, because three of the next four games are on the road. The team really misses Domanick Davis. Houston ranks 28th in rushing offense, averaging just 3.5 yards per carry and under half a touchdown per game on the ground.

27. Detroit Lions [29] — The offense can move the ball — Jon Kitna looks like Kurt Warner on the stat sheet — but the defense has some problems. Detroit is 30th in scoring defense, with more points allowed than everyone but Tennessee and San Francisco.

28. Tennessee Titans [26] — Remember when Chris Brown was a really promising running back? Now he's fourth on the team in rushing, and third on the depth chart at RB, behind Travis Henry and LenDale White. Tennessee is 30th in points scored and 31st in points allowed.

29. Miami Dolphins [30] — Similar to the Raiders, with a terrible offense that can't carry its share of the load for a strong defense. Against Chicago, the Dolphins got six takeaways, combined with a big game from Ronnie Brown. Joey Harrington threw three TDs, but he also had two interceptions, completed only half his passes, and averaged just 4.3 yards per pass attempt.

30. San Francisco 49ers [31] — Also had a Raider-esque win, with productive defense and no offense. The Niners had just 133 yards and eight first downs against Minnesota, averaging 1.6 yards per rush and failing to score a touchdown. The 49ers have actually beaten two .500 teams this season, but they've also lost to the Cardinals and gotten blown out four times.

31. Oakland Raiders [28] — Near the end of the first quarter, Andrew Walter was sacked on three plays in a row. The Raiders allowed a total of nine sacks on Monday night, and if they can't do a better job of protecting Walter, they'll keep getting shut out.

32. Arizona Cardinals [32] — Now the only one-win team in the league, they're on a seven-game losing streak and probably won't be favored for the rest of the season. It's never too early to start thinking about next year's draft.

If you're eligible to vote in the United States, please remember to take a few minutes and go to the polls today.

Posted by Brad Oremland at 9:08 PM | Comments (1)

Smearing the BCS Opposition

We've finally reached the climax of the election season and with that comes an end to the countless number of political attack ads that accompany the democratic process. It's unfortunate, because the smear campaigns are probably the most entertaining aspect of any voting process.

The overly simplistic ads usually come in one of two forms:

1. Two apolitical people happen to be conversing about the election and within 30 seconds, determine that voting for candidate X clearly means you hate America.

2. The candidate or a supporter reading the laundry list of inadequacies of candidate X, which usually include how they conduct their affairs (business and marital), how many anti-American bills they support, and their role in causing Hurricane Katrina.

The smack that goes back and forth between candidates makes them seem more like Jim Rome clones than politicians. It's only a matter of time before someone ends an ad with a "war staying the course, outttt!" In the past few weeks I've been able to determine that voting for the Republicans means you support the war in Iraq and condone sexual indiscretions between congressmen and minors and that a vote for a Democrat might as well be a vote for al-Qaeda.

While these mildly entertaining ads insult the intelligence of anyone who can read and chew gum at the same time, they wouldn't exist if they didn't work. I just hope the Louisville Cardinals football program has been taking notes.

Louisville is currently third in the BCS rankings and with number one slotted to play number two in less than two weeks it would seem as if the Cardinals are in a perfect position to play for the national championship. The only problem is that everyone hates them. It seems as if every college football writer, expert, pundit, and blogger had a meeting to go over the talking points about why Louisville can't play in the national championship.

1. The Big East is weak.
2. They haven't played anyone.
3. It will make for a horrible title game, which won't make any money.

They may be valid arguments, but the fact of the matter is that Louisville cannot afford nationwide acceptance of their inferior championship resume. That hate will manifest itself in the season-ending coaches' polls and any slip there would be straw that breaks their BCS standing's back. The problem is that the Cardinals can't refute those arguments, their best non-conference game was against Kentucky and their strength of schedule is the 2nd-lowest in the top 20, behind only Boise St. What option does Louisville have? Go on the attack.

A series of attack ads bashing the resumes of other teams could be just enough to sway the fickle coaches' poll voters to give them enough points to make the BCS title game. It's a precarious situation as it stands now as Texas, Auburn, and Florida are all within 150 votes. It's even worse in the coaches poll as Texas has already surpassed Louisville. I'm starting to think now that the OSU/Michigan loser, Texas, and the SEC championship winner could all end up passing Louisville. The only way to prevent it is to remind people of just how bad some of these other teams are.

This will involve taking a lot of things out of context and will probably include some flat-out lying. However, honesty or an accurate reflection of reality isn't the goal here; the important thing is to trick the voters at all costs. Here are a few ideas, just to get Louisville started.

Ohio State — "In the past few months, they have beaten a terrible Illinois team by one touchdown and have had one of their most famous players get arrested while carrying automatic weapons, a hatchet, and a bottle of vodka in preparation for a showdown with the Israeli mob. Would you really want to vote for a team when the most interesting thing about them will soon be behind bars?"

Michigan — "They needed a goal line stand in the remaining minutes to defeat a woeful Ball State team. The depressing thing is that Ball isn't even a real state. Clearly, if you struggle beating schools based on faux states, your team just is not that good. Plus, Michigan will finish this season having beaten one top-25 team: Notre Dame. Louisville will have beaten three, West Virginia, Rutgers, and pre-brawl Miami."

Texas — "Sure, they have a great team and an explosive backfield with Vince Young and Cedric Benson. Wait, they are both gone? And they replaced Vince Young with an inexperienced quarterback? Not only that, but they lost to a boring Ohio State team? Would you really vote for a game that's already been played? Have I asked you enough questions? Maybe the problem is that you aren't asking yourself enough questions, questions like "do you have enough candy?" If the answer is no, vote for us and we'll make sure it's always yes."

Auburn — "We here at Louisville understand that there all is not well in college football. The BCS is a problem. We all know this and voting for Auburn only helps perpetuate this horrible system. We wanted to change the BCS and blow it up by devising a joke of a schedule that will allow us to back into the title game, forcing college football to change its ways forever. A vote for Auburn is a vote for the BCS. A vote for Louisville ... is a vote for the future."

Remember, voters, vote for the future. War political attack ads and using smear campaigns to get in the national title game. OUT!

Posted by Mark Chalifoux at 8:58 PM | Comments (1)

The NHL: One Month In

Some have risen, some have fallen, and some have crashed and burned. Welcome to the new NHL season, one month in. Let's take a look at some of the winners, losers, and surprises so far:

The Winners

Buffalo, Anaheim, and San Jose are among the top teams in the NHL. That doesn't really surprise anyone — all three teams have their big guns firing on all cylinders.

In Buffalo, a balanced attack across three lines has combined with strong goaltending to create the best team in the league. In Anaheim, it's more than just the Chris Pronger/Scott Niedermayer connection. Coach Randy Carlyle's got his team playing an aggressive transition game that turns at full speed the instant a turnover occurs. Combine that with great special teams and a revived Jean-Sebastian Giguere and you've got a recipe for success.

As for the Sharks, they've got so many interchangeable parts up front, on defense, and in goal that when one player slumps, another one steps in. Case in point — when Joe Thornton went through a mini-slump for a few games, Patrick Marleau stepped it up.

These three teams have incredible depth, great skill, and a system that works for today's NHL. It won't be surprising to see them in the race for the President's Trophy when all is said and done.

The Losers

We knew that the Phoenix Coyotes weren't going to be a top-notch team, or even a pretty good team. However, it was kind of hard to imagine a team with a defense made up of Ed Jovanovski, Nick Boynton, Derek Morris, and Keith Ballard to be god-awful atrocious. When you're not scoring, your defense has no chemistry, and your goaltending looks like Swiss cheese after a machete attack, you know you have problems.

Up in Toronto, the Maple Leaf are a team consisting of inconsistency. Sure, Mats Sundin has been steady, but other than that, the time is haywire. Andrew Raycroft looks like his old Calder Trophy self for two games, then he looks like a shellshocked beer league goalie the next two games. Tomas Kaberle and Bryan McCabe put up great points for a few games, then disappear for a few games. Same thing with promising youngsters Kyle Wellwood and Alex Steen. The Leafs are an awful combination of not-ready kids and over-the-hill vets — the only real question is where Mats Sundin will eventually be traded to?

The Calgary Flames thought that adding Alex Tanguay would solve their scoring woes. Hate to break it to you, Darryl Sutter, but adding one guy to an offense that only had one guy to begin with doesn't suddenly give a team depth; it just gives a team one superstar (Jarome Iginla) and one pretty good guy in Tanguay who always had Peter Forsberg or Joe Sakic to center him. The rest of the NHL has flown by, but the Flames are still treading in yesterday's news.

The Surprises

Who knew the Minnesota Wild could be a successful attacking team? Who knew that they could accomplish this without Marian Gaborik? The oft-injured Gaborik has been out for a bit with a groin problem, but the Wild keep rolling thanks to Pavol Demitra, Brian Rolston, and a team that finally figured out how to play transition hockey instead of trap hockey.

The Atlanta Thrashers knew they had a good goalie in Kari Lehtonen. They knew they had firepower up front with Ilya Kovalchuk and Marian Hossa. Still, having Niclas Havelid play like a No. 1 defenseman or getting career-pace contributions from aging Scott Mellanby are pleasant surprises — surprises that have propelled Atlanta to the top of the Eastern Conference.

On the other hand, the Ottawa Senators are essentially the same team that played in the regular season last year. Martin Havlat was injured most of last season, so it's not like his contribution was missed. Yes, Zdeno Chara bolted for Boston, but adding Joe Corvo and Tom Preissing helped alleviate the pain. The Sens' problem is two-fold: first, some of their big guns (Daniel Alfredsson) aren't putting up any points, and second, Martin Gerber has been wildly inconsistent. Once penciled in as the best team in the league, the Sens are now desperately in search of consistency and an identity.

No column would be complete without mentioning the total collapse of the Philadelphia Flyers. Awful goaltending, terrible defense, and a lack of speed in the forward position — the once-proud Flyers are now humiliated on almost a nightly basis. Don't look for the Flyers to move young guns Simon Gagne, Mike Richards, or Jeff Carter. However, they'll try to beg and plead anyone to take Mike Rathje and Derian Hatcher, and the bidding war for Peter Forsberg should begin around Christmas time.

Posted by Mike Chen at 8:06 PM | Comments (0)

November 6, 2006

NBA Preview: Beasts of the East

Don't miss part one, NBA Preview: West's Top Guns.

Wow!

That's the only way I could describe it. And I'm not sure that Miami's reigning champs had much more to say about the record-worst butt whippin' on All Hallows Eve. But this couldn't be a ghoulish sign of the Heat showing all of their skeletons, right?

Despite the 42-point crush job, there are two pieces of good news for South Beach fans. First, I'm not too concerned ... yet. Second, my Halloween character, Sherlock Homeboy, has solved another case.

"People ask, 'where did the gross national income of Suriname go?' I have found it. As my motto goes: 'Check out da bling. Check out da bling.'"

"Next case: Who makes the Eastern Conference playoffs? I must tell you."

1) Miami Heat (Southeast Division champs)

Even with the beatdown they suffered on opening night, the Heat are the defending champions. Basically, everybody is back this year, including head coach Pat Riley. The one-two punch of Shaquille O'Neal and Dwyane Wade has proven itself to be the best in the Association. And, as always, the champs are still the champs until they're knocked out.

Downside — Diminished level of role player production; Older, more tired legs

2) New Jersey Nets (Atlantic Division champs)

The three-headed monster will rear its head out of the swamps of Jersey again. Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, and Richard Jefferson are probably enough to dominate the Atlantic by themselves. However, the Nets decided to bring in some young talent, including former UConn stars Marcus Williams and Josh Boone, at key positions.

Downside — Still need some inside presence; Will Boone find more focus in the pros?

3) Chicago Bulls (Central Division champs)

The free-agent signing of the offseason occurred when Ben Wallace defected from the Motor City to the Windy City. The young core of players (Kirk Heinrich, Ben Gordon, Luol Deng, Andres Nocioni, etc.) has won, getting to the playoffs the last two years. Wallace's presence in the interior should mentor rookie Tyrus Thomas and help push this squad to new heights.

Downside — Too early for high expectations?; Possibly toughest division in the league

4) Cleveland Cavaliers

LeBron James could taste the conference championship series last season as the Cavs pushed Detroit to a seventh game. Now, Bron Bron and the boys are predicted by some to win the Central. It isn't a bad pick, due to the fact that Larry Hughes started to look more like James' version of Scottie Pippen last season. Question is, can he stay healthy enough to advance in his sidekick role?

Downside — Need to improve their performance on the inside

5) Detroit Pistons

Although one big piece shifted to the west, Detroit still has a large part of the puzzle that won the title in '03-'04. Chauncey Billups, Rip Hamilton, Tayshaun Prince, and Rasheed Wallace are a formidable foursome. The Pistons recent team chemistry and swagger usually accepts any player into the mix. Now, we'll see how effectively that style blends into the team's starting lineup.

Downside — Loss of Ben Wallace really hurts; Still don't have much bench depth

6) Washington Wizards

Beyond Kobe Bryant and LeBron James, there might not be one player more valuable to his team than Gilbert Arenas. The guard was fourth in scoring last season (29.3 ppg), but he isn't alone. Antawn Jamison and Caron Butler are also key members of the Wizards' attack. And at the helm sits Eddie Jordan, probably the most underrated coach in the league.

Downside — Do they have enough bench?; Do they have enough in the post?

7) Philadelphia 76ers

Remember that Gilbert Arenas argument? Yeah, I misspoke. Allen Iverson is definitely in the top three of most valuable to his team. However, his young teammates didn't seem ready to step up and help their superstar in '05-'06. With another year of experience and a playoff chase under their belt, the other A.I. (Andre Iguodala), Kyle Korver, and Samuel Dalembert should be more equipped to get into the second season this time around.

Downside — Can they stay healthy?; Chris Webber more of a liability than a help.

8) Orlando Magic

These guys might not be on a lot of radar screens, but they have some talent at key positions. There's a tough, young point guard in Jameer Nelson. Add in a versatile, strong big man in Dwight Howard. Don't forget the veteran scoring of Grant Hill. And we conclude with the newest piece, rookie sharpshooter J.J. Redick. These four (amongst others) should keep the Magic stay ahead of Indiana, Boston, and Milwaukee for the last playoff spot.

Downside — Hill's nagging injuries; Another year of "Where's Darko"?

Is the East deep enough to defend its bragging rights? Only eight more months will tell. But it should be a lot of fun following the twists and turns. Or maybe it's dribbles and bounces. Doesn't that sound more appropriate, Sherlock?

"Where did this man's funny bone go? I must find it."

Posted by Jonathan Lowe at 10:13 PM | Comments (0)

A Grave Reality

I've screamed, "This team is killing me," many more times than I care to admit.

Sadly, I've also sworn to kill someone if a game's outcome doesn't go the way me or my Proline ticket wants it to on at least a couple of occasions.

But never would I wish, not for myself or any of the ones I've threatened, to be buried in a casket emblazoned with a Philadelphia Phillies logo.

And yet it's an option.

A company, cleverly named (gulp) Eternal Image, has partnered with Major League Baseball to release a line of afterlife comfort products (i.e. coffins, urns) that will allow fans to take their passion for their team with them to the grave.

I'm going to give it a minute while this sinks in.

Dooo do do do do. La la la. Sigh. Okay, time's up.

WHAT THE F&%* IS GOING ON HERE!?!?!?!?!

I though when we got past the Spiderman 2 bases incident, we were clear of ridiculous MLB promotions for a while. Clearly, that was wishful thinking.

So I ask: do people really want to be lowered to their final resting place in a lacquered box with a Boston Red Sox logo? Are there really people that desire to sit in a Los Angeles Dodgers jar on someone's mantle for eternity? And who are the people that would let grandma Dodgers Freak sit there like that anyway?

I still have trouble believing these people exist, but they do.

"Our clubs receive these requests with some frequency. We have really passionate fans," said Major League Baseball spokesperson Susan Goodenow.

Look, Sue, not all passion is good passion. When Carl Everett passionately insisted that dinosaurs were fake — not good. When Mark Foley passionately pursued pubescent pages — definitely not good.

What? Too soon?

But I guess people should have the right to any kind of send off they want. And if that involves the Boston Red Sox, Detroit Tigers, KISS, or a charcoal sketch of Oprah, it should all be fair game.

Hey, you should be able to have a picture of Mark Foley if you want to. Or maybe George Allen in a warm embrace with an East Indian gentleman.

You could have it all, but God, why would you want to?

What if you get to heaven and find out Jesus is a Pittsburgh Pirates fan? And here you are in an Atlanta Braves coffin like a schmuck.

And where does it stop? I mean what if you don't have a favorite team? What if you want your urn to look like one of those jackets with the logos of every NBA organization on them? Or what if you don't like any club and just want the face of a player — say, Albert Pujols — to be the image family see as you're lowered into the ground?

Thankfully, at least that last one will never happen because MLB would actually have to pay someone.

But aside from the restrictions that come from personal likeness fees, it's only a matter of time for the rest of it, and I'm not going to give you examples because anything you can think of probably applies.

Although maybe it's not such huge a deal. Perhaps all my worrying is for nothing. After all, as Goodenow insists, MLB always has control over the tastefulness of the products it licenses.

Wow, I almost typed that out with a straight face. Man, I kill myself.

Yankees, please.

Posted by Aaron Miller at 9:53 PM | Comments (0)

November 4, 2006

Banned in the NBA

Around this time of year, I always start questioning whether I could have a future in politics.*

I have the charm, the wit, the dashing good looks, and obviously the humility. My grasp on current affairs is eclipsed only by my grasp on movie trivia. And, of course, I totally won a presidential debate staged in my sixth grade class — as Michael Dukakis, no less.

But those attack ads ... boy, they're enough to discourage anyone from running, no matter how skeleton-free you believe your closet to be. If you're photographed standing next to the wrong person, you're attacked as a criminal. If you mistakenly dialed a sex talk line, hung up, and then called the right number a minute later, you're attacked as a pervert. It's gotten to the point where you can't even write a fiction novel or your opponent will use passages from it to paint you as a misogynist.

Attack ads are controversial, twist words until they make good people sound positively evil. You know, like:

"Wyshynski uses words like CONTROVERSIAL, TWIST PEOPLE, and POSITIVELY EVIL. Is that really what America needs in a time of war?"

This column is going to be one that, taken out of context, will make me sound like either a complete racist or a defender of hate speech. But it's one that needs to be written.

"Wyshynski's CONTEXT? RACIST HATE SPEECH. Is that really what America needs in a time of energy crisis?"

See, there was this guy named Hooman Hamzehloui. He is — perhaps was — an Orlando Magic fan, a season ticket holder, and a sponsor of the team as a local realtor.

Last Thursday night at the TD Waterhouse Centre, Hamzehloui attended an exhibition game between the Magic and the visiting Houston Rockets, and was his usual heckling self — one of these guys who thinks a ticket guarantees you can say anything and everything in a crowd. At some point during the game, he directed his ire at Rockets center Dikembe Mutombo, who is originally from Africa. According to Hamzehloui, he called out, "Dikembe, you look like a big monkey" and made a few faces at him.

Mutombo did not take too kindly to this observation, and had to be restrained from going after the fan. Hamzehloui was promptly ejected from the arena, acting like a moron as he was escorted out.

Case closed? Hardly. The story got national play, and soon the two were engaged in a media war of words over Hamzehloui's alleged hate speech. Mutombo said in a statement, "He was insulting my races, my family, my integrity. I hope they don't allow him to come back. If I get fined, I will go straight into the stands next time and (mess) somebody up."

Hamzehloui was shocked to be labeled a racist, saying he has so many friends of different ethnicities that they sometimes call themselves the United Nations. (I wonder which one has dibs on Kyrgyzstan?)

(Doesn't this guy know you can only get away with calling a black athlete a "monkey" and then resting on your civil rights laurels if you work for "Monday Night Football?")

Hamzehloui threatened to get lawyered up: "I will not lose my right to watch the Magic. I love them way too much and we have a great team this year. Bring that on if you want, it is not happening big guy," he told WKMG Local 6 News.

But after the national outcry over the incident, Hamzehloui backed down, offering to donate money to a charity of Mutombo's choice if Dikembe authorized his return to the arena. He also claimed that he didn't realize "monkey" was considered a racial slur. Mutombo forgave him, but left the punishment up to the league.

On Monday, in a move noteworthy for its stunning stupidity, the NBA banned Hamzehloui from attending games in all league arenas this season.

"Wyshynski defends noted racist and hate-monger Hooman Hamzehloui, calling Dikembe Mutombo's protectors STUNNINGLY STUPID. Is that really what America needs in a time of gay marriage?"

Let's start with the obvious criticism: how does the NBA intend to enforce this? I can see Orlando posting photos at every gate and alerting security ... but the NBA doing this EVERY arena in the U.S. and in Toronto? For the entire season? What is this, "Minority Report?" (Pun intended, ‘natch.) Are they going to have fingerprint and retinal identification at every ticket booth? Will they electronically track his finances to ensure he doesn't use his credit card on StubHub? And (gasp!) what if he pays with cash?

But the real issue here isn't the ban, but the reason behind the ban, which is an alleged case of hate speech. Make that racial hate speech — hate speech happens at every single game at every single arena in every single sport. Players, coaches and referees are called homosexuals, mentally challenged, parts of the female anatomy, child molesters ... and that's just what I recall saying at my last Devils/Flyers game.

Sporting events can offer a master class in vile idiom; sitting in the upper deck is like listening to Chris Rock and Kevin Smith do a rewrite of a Quentin Tarantino script. It's all offensive, hateful nonsense that would earn your ass a beat-down if you said it to someone's face in a bar.

In a civil society, all of it should warrant an ejection and, in some cases, banishment. But that doesn't happen ... unless the planets align and the heckler's taunts match-up with the heckler's ethnicity, like three racially-charged cherries falling into place on a slot machine.

If you're going to ban Hooman Hamzehloui, then you should ban anyone who abuses players with the kind of rhetoric he's trafficked in as a self-proclaimed heckler, whether it presses a racial hot button or not. This isn't a game: there aren't fouls and flagrant fouls. One man's "monkey" is another man's "homo."

"Wyshynski compares HOMOSEXUALS with MONKEYS. Is that really what America needs in a time of John Kerry's disdain for our troops?"

So ban Hooman Hamzehloui in Orlando. The man nearly started a riot, which makes him just as guilty as John Green and Charlie Haddad — two fans who received banishment from the Palace of Auburn Hills after the Pistons/Pacers brawl two years ago. Green tossed the cup that set Ron Artest off; Haddad was Jermaine O'Neal's infamous punching bag.

But after searching through the archives, I couldn't find any evidence that Green and Haddad had been banned in every arena throughout the NBA after the Auburn Hills' brawl.

Let me repeat that: a man who called Dikembe Mutombo a monkey from the lower deck has evidently received a stricter punishment from the NBA than a fan that ran out on the court during a riot and engaged in a physical altercation with a player.

The Palace brawl was a catalyst for the NBA's new Fan Code of Conduct, which was used in the Hamzehloui matter. But nowhere in the Code does it indicate that racial epitaphs receive a harsher punishment than other offensive speech, or that banishment from all NBA cities is even an option in severe cases. It's less a code than a collection of vague suggestions.

But that's the NBA for you: a league where politics will always triumph over its own standards — and our common sense.

"I'm Greg Wyshynski, and I endorsed this column."

* It occurred to me a millisecond after I completed this sentence that anything and everything in this column — let alone the last nine years of "The Jester's Quart"— will be used against me in opposition research upon my inevitable entry into the political forum.**

**With that said, I would encourage my opponents to please ignore my April 7, 2006 article "My Fantasy Baseball Nightmare." Not because of any potential attack ad fodder in the piece, but because, looking back at it, I'm pretty sure I couldn't have written a more pedestrian, lackluster column if I was enrolled in an international contest that paid $10 million and a lap dance from Scarlett Johansson to the person who writes the most pedestrian, lackluster column. It sucked ... hard.

Greg Wyshynski is the Features Editor for SportsFan Magazine in Washington, DC, and the Senior Sports Editor for The Connection Newspapers of Northern Virginia. His book is "Glow Pucks and 10-Cent Beer: The 101 Worst Ideas in Sports History." His columns appear every Saturday on Sports Central. You can e-mail Greg at [email protected].

Posted by Greg Wyshynski at 10:18 PM | Comments (1)

Book Review: "A Well-Paid Slave"

The year was 1969, and seven-time Gold Glove center fielder Curt Flood was on top of the baseball world. He played for the St. Louis Cardinals, one of the few late 1960s teams where racial harmony was enjoyed, and was a leader of an oufit that boasted the likes of Bob Gibson and Tim McCarver. Together, the Redbirds had played in three World Series, winning two.

An October phone call from a mid-level team office staffer informed him that he and McCarver had been dealt to the lowly Phillies, essentially for disgruntled slugger Richie Allen. Philadelphia, where fans not only booed superstar Allen, but Santa Claus at Eagles' games.

As we now know, Flood chose not to report to his "new" team after 12 years in St. Louis. He did not wish to start anew with a cellar dweller, and sought legal advice on the matter. The proud, and to some, uppity Black athlete's protest that a well-paid slave nonetheless had no control over his career, angered sports fans all over America. To those for whom $12,000 a year was a decent salary in 1969, Flood's $90,000 per annum was astronomical — and he an ingrate.

Brad Snyder's "A Well-Paid Slave" details Flood's life as an Oakland athlete (and teenage contemporary of locals Frank Robinson, Vada Pinson ,and Bill Russell), minor leaguer in Jim Crow towns, and civil rights participant prior to the trade and battle which changed his life as much as it altered the professional sports marketplace.

Like any worthy work, the book strikes down a few widely-held beliefs. Flood was not a talented portrait artist who painted the quintessential image of the late Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Flood was not seeking free agency for MLB players, his contestation of the reserve clause was based on his desire to remain with the Cardinals. Also, Flood was not one of a tide of rebellious 1960s baseball players for whom he was a mere symbol of The Modern Athlete — not one contemporary player testified in his defense or attended the trial.

This text sheds much-needed light on crucial aspects of the challenge to the clause that bound players to their teams with no say-so as to trade or arbitration. Snyder demonstrates that Commissioner Bowie Kuhn, the MLB owners, and most of the sporting press underestimated Flood's resolve, viewing him as tool of the Players' Association (and more specifically, their executive director Marvin Miller). Flood was not the first ballplayer to attack the reserve system in court. And had former Supreme Court Justice been more dedicated to his role in Flood's defense, the center fielder without a team may well have won his case.

Snyder, an attorney and sportswriter, is best when providing both background into the decision making processes of the 1971 Supreme Court (two of whom were new Nixon appointees), and analysis of how the case, and absence of baseball in his life, led Flood to disregard his health. Much as his hero Jackie Robinson's struggle against baseball's color line contributed to his death at age 53, alcoholism, and what may have been depression, were factors in Flood's death at 59.

Readers will travel back to the era of Muhammad Ali, Howard Cosell, lucrative $100,000 contracts, and sports columnists who sided with management. The superstars are all here — Willie Mays, Hank Aaron, Reggie Jackson, Sandy Koufax. Curt Flood, although a product of his times, was the lone brave figure willing to leave a $90,000 a year deal on the table for a principle. This fight led fans and media to wonder about baseball's hallowed status, and its most prized possession, its antitrust exemption. Nine appointed high justices were charged with deciding exactly how special the national pastime was.

Those interested in the legal inner workings, the reasoning behind the lack of player support for the plaintiff, and how the battle led to binding arbitration, free agency, and the 10-and-five rule will supremely enjoy "A Well-Paid Slave." In a world where few athletes appreciate Flood's sacrifice, and New York Times sportswriter Bill Rhoden contends we have a generation of athletes who are well-paid slaves (bound more by lack of social consciousness than restriction of player movement), this is doubtless a timely read.

Posted by Bijan C. Bayne at 9:52 PM | Comments (2)

November 3, 2006

NFL Week 9 Bye Report

The weather is turning, and teams' playoff hopes are starting to fall like leaves to the ground, spectacular in their decent, but nonetheless destined for the compost heap. Not a single team is mathematically eliminated as of yet, but I'm officially writing off the Dolphins, Lions, and Cardinals. A slew of other teams are right behind them, with Oakland, Houston, and San Francisco most likely next for the "okay, we're dead" club, where even the most diehard fan gives up hope.

(You might say those and other two-win teams are already out, but I'm not ready to throw the dirt on the coffin just yet. Three games under .500 with a half season to play just isn't a deep enough hole to completely give up hope. Crazier things have happened.)

With all that said, desperation time is looming for those barely holding on, while the upper crust begins to throw some elbows in the fight for home-field advantage. Here are some notes from the past week in the NFL:

1. As of right now, we're looking at a Chicago/New England Super Bowl, a rematch of one of the five most famous championship games (SB XX) in any sport in the modern era.

2. Was that Tommy Maddox playing QB for Pittsburgh?

3. Rest in peace, Red Auerbach.

4. Only one team in the NFL is allowing more than five yards per rush on defense: Indianapolis. Does anybody really think the team with the worst rushing defense in the league is going to win the title?

5. Jake Delhomme is starting to remind me of Aaron Brooks back before everybody figured out he sucked. The 2003 playoffs may have been his peak.

6. I was wrong when I said in the Week 6 Bye Report that Bill Parcells shouldn't bench Drew Bledsoe. Tony Romo has completely re-energized the Cowboys.

7. There are certain people I hate to see happy. Terrell Owens is one of them.

8. The Eagles have no heart.

9. The Saturday Night Live with Hugh Laurie as host and Beck as musical guest was one of the funniest since the Will Ferrell years. We may have a rebirth in the making here.

10. Of the offenses I wouldn't want to have to defend against in a two-minute drive with the game on the line, New England/Indianapolis is an easy 1-2. I'm beginning to think Atlanta might be number three. If you're going to beat the Falcons, you better get up on them early.

One other note from Week 8: I said the bye week for the Lions came at a perfect time for Detroit because they would have some spare time to attend the riots on Eight Mile when the Tigers won/lost the World Series. My wife said that was racist. I'm sorry.

(We're happy to report there were no riots on Eight Mile this weekend, though Detroit was named the second most dangerous city in America in a poll released Monday. Number 1? St. Louis, baby! We're on a roll!)

On to the final bye report of the season. Arizona, Philadelphia, Carolina, and the Jets are last to take a pit stop on the Yellow Brick Road to NFL Oz. If there's any hope for the cowardly lion (Dennis Green), heartless tin man (Donovan McNabb), brainless scarecrow (Delhomme), or fragile little dog hoping not to get eaten by flying monkeys (Chad Pennington), now's the time to figure something out.

Arizona Cardinals

(1-7, 1-2 NFC West, last place)

Overview — They are currently all alone in the race for the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft. I actually agree with the decision not to can Dennis Green. What is there really to gain out of firing Green right now? They're not making the playoffs, and the internal strife that would come from a coaching bloodbath could actually do more harm than good in the overall development of some of the younger players. Might as well just let Denny ride it out, see if he can capture some us-against-the world magic.

Impact of the Bye — If nothing else, this at least stops the "Green will get fired at the bye week" rumors that have been going on since the final seconds of the Bears game.

Outlook — Whatever happens with Green, Cardinals fans should just pray they get a pick high enough (but not too high) to grab the top offensive lineman in the draft, Wisconsin LT Joe Thomas. Pick three or four would be perfect.

Philadelphia Eagles

(4-4, 1-1 NFC East, third place)

Overview — You look at the stats, and you can't figure out why this team is 4-4. Statistically, they should be fighting it out for home-field advantage. Instead, they're on the outside looking in for the playoffs, mired in the very mediocre soft middle of the NFC. I think the Eagles may just be the football team equivalent of A-Rod, putting up MVP numbers, but never coming through when it matters most.

Impact of the Bye — Andy Reid has to figure something out during this time off. The Giants did it a few weeks ago, and Baltimore did it last week. All is not lost, but time is ticking.

Outlook — The good news is that with home games against Washington and Tennessee up after the break, the Eagles should jump to 6-4 and get back in the thick of it for the NFC East crown and playoffs. The bad news is their last six games after that are at Indianapolis, Carolina at home, at Washington, at Giants, at Dallas, Atlanta. Assuming they sweep the Redskins and beat the Titans, they would still need three more wins against legit playoff contenders to make 10 wins. Possible, but not by any means certain.

Carolina Panthers

(4-4, 2-1 NFC South, third place)

Overview — Losing at home to the Cowboys going into the bye was absolutely the wrong thing to do. Delhomme looked like a basket case, the special teams fell apart, the defense gave up more than 400 yards to an offense led by a QB making his first NFL start, and what was a 14-13 lead with 10 minutes left in the fourth quarter turned into a traumatic 21-point beat-down.

Impact of the Bye — For a team that needs to get itself together for a run to the playoffs (and overcome both the Saints and Falcons within their division), John Fox has to fix his offense. They've only scored 14 points in each of their last two games, going a combined 5-of-20 on third down. With an extra week before playing Tampa Bay and St. Louis at home, now is the time.

Outlook — Needing at least six wins out of their last eight, and with road games against Philly (Week 13), Atlanta (Week 16), and New Orleans (Week 17), they are going to have to find a new gear. I wouldn't want to be the road team playing at New Orleans in the last week of the season with a playoff spot on the line, but Fox and the Panthers have gone on streaks before. I have my doubts that they can do it again, but never say never.

New York Jets

(4-4, 2-1, AFC East, second place)

Overview — This is certainly a better place than anybody thought the Jets would be half-way through the season. The loss at Cleveland last week was a killer, missing out on the chance to go to 5-3 and have a real shot at making the show. Despite the respectable record, the Jets rank in the 20s in overall offense and the defense has given up the most points in the AFC.

Impact of the Bye — With New England and Chicago up after the break, this is a great time to take a break. They may want to take this chance to get Kellen Clemens some practice reps. There's a decent chance Pennington is in a sling by Thanksgiving.

Outlook — Eric Mangini's rejuvenated crew faces a fall to 4-6 before a somewhat cushy final six (Houston, at Green Bay, Buffalo, at Minnesota, at Miami, Oakland) gives them a shot to get back into it. My guess is they find a way to lose at least three of those games to finish 7-9 and out of the playoffs. Still, this has been a very decent job by Mangini. If they have another good draft in April, they could make some real noise by this time next year.

iMix of the Week

(Available on iTunes)

1. Baby Please Don't Go – John Lee Hooker
2. Johnny B. Goode – Chuck Berry
3. Rock N' Roll – Mos Def
4. King Heroin – James Brown
5. Well You Needn't – Thelonious Monk
6. Straight, No Chaser – Thelonious Monk
7. One For My Baby – David "Fathead" Newman
8. The Formula – The D.O.C.
9. Definition – Black Star
10. Rock Star – The Roots

Posted by Joshua Duffy at 11:46 PM | Comments (1)

So Long, Seattle

On October 24, 2006, the NBA approved the sale of the Seattle Supersonics and Storm to Oklahoma City businessman Clay Bennet. This means one thing to the NBA and Seattle — Bennett and his partners are about to drop a boom of their own on the Sonic faithful.

In the weeks and months after September 11, 2001, when tragedy and sorrow filled American hearts, one distraction captured millions. Americans finally started to get sick of reading the ticker on various news sites, deciding instead to turn to the simple subject of sports to get through the terrible ordeal. The Yankees' trip to the World Series proved cathartic to the nation, including those directly involved with 9/11.

Sports are able to take people away from their current troubles or misfortunes and take them to a place of euphoria. Ask any Boston Red Sox fan after 2004 what sports means to them.

This year it's the New Orleans Saints. After Hurricane Katrina hit, and the Gulf Coast, specifically New Orleans, looked like a scene from "Waterworld," everything that made New Orleans vibrant, original, and, well, New Orleans, was lost, but not forever.

In the wake of Katrina, federal and state government negligence led to an even greater wide spread panic. Unlike 9/11, the people of New Orleans were not able to turn to sports in their hometown, because unlike anything else that has ever happened in the United States, the New Orleans people were shipped out, along with its two professional franchises.

Now, a year later, it's almost impossible for the Saints to lose at home. It's New Orleans' one chance to revert back to normalcy, to exorcise all those feelings of despair, for three hours. They have the whole Gulf Coast weight on their shoulders. No other team can grasp the emotion the Saints reach during a home game. It is literally Mardi Gras every time the Superdome opens its doors for a football game.

The Saints are back in New Orleans to stay, the Hornets, on the other hand, are not. The NBA franchise is scheduled to return to New Orleans in the 2007-2008 season, and when that day comes, you can bet the beads will be out, the band will be striking up jazz throughout the stadium and the streets outside, and New Orleans will finally be heading towards permanent normalcy.

In the wake of the Hornets' triumphant return to New Orleans, there is one forgotten son, so to speak. Right now, the Hornets call Oklahoma City home. The only thing Oklahoma City has done in the one year they've occupied an NBA franchise is show everybody this is a basketball town.

In NBA circles, the Ford Center, where the Hornets temporarily play, is considered the Arco Arena of the Heartland — in other words, they blow the roof off every time an opponent steps on the court. NBA commissioner David Stern loves the atmosphere, loves the arena, and now, more than ever, Oklahoma City has moved to the forefront as the next city to get a team.

Now, that team looks to be the Seattle Supersonics. A Seattle switch seems almost inevitable with Bennet, an Oklahoma City native, purchasing the team.

At this current moment, Bennet has said all the right things. Seattle's new majority owner has repeatedly said he does not plan to move. However, the new majority owner of Seattle's basketball franchises has said in the past his ultimate goal is having a professional team in Oklahoma City.

If this is the case, why did Bennet choose the Sonics, why not wait for the NBA commissioner to award Oklahoma City, a city Stern has grown to love, an NBA team?

Business savvy.

Stern is tired of the city of Seattle's ineptness to change things in Seattle. Stern has complained about the Sonics' working conditions even louder than the Sonics' Boom that echoes through Key Arena. On a media conference call before the playoffs began in April, Stern bluntly voiced his frustrations about the Sonics' inability to make progress on a new arena lease or funding for a new building, saying: "They are not interested in having the NBA there."

In the last decade, two different stadiums have been built for the other professional franchises in Seattle. It seems inconceivable to think the one team who brought a championship to Seattle is the one left out in the cold.

The Sonics are celebrating 40 years in the NBA this year. All 40 years were spent in Seattle, making them the oldest franchise in Seattle. This may be the only saving grace for Seattle's diehard fans. Does David Stern have the gall to move a team full of history? If the city refuses to comply with his request, the answer is simple — yes.

It has been done in other sports, including the NBA. Some of the most prominent teams in the NBA started elsewhere. The Lakers started in Minneapolis and the Jazz started in New Orleans. Ironically, the last team to move cities because of arena issues was the Hornets. The former Charlotte residents moved to New Orleans, for a better fan base, a newer arena, and more money. Sound familiar?

At this point, it seems as just speculation. If the city of Seattle were to build a new arena, Bennet would no longer have the loophole to get his wish of an NBA franchise in Oklahoma City. However, if the city continues to show opposition to the NBA's requests for better facilities, the Oklahoma City Sonics seem like a logical step.

If you don't think it's possible, and don't have the ability to see both teams play live, watch on television both teams play at home. Seattle rarely plays in front of a sold-out crowd, and even when they do, most fans are too busy drinking lattes to realize they have one of the best shooting guards ever, Ray Allen, on their team.

The days of Shawn Kemp and Gary Payton dominating the West are gone. What's remaining in Seattle now is a mess. The last two years are a perfect example. In the 2004-05 season, the Sonics won the Northwest division with 52 wins and were the third seed in the playoffs, losing to the eventual Western Conference champion San Antonio Spurs in six games. Last year, they finished with 35 wins and missed the playoffs.

If there's any solace, Seattle's lease on Key Arena doesn't end until the '09-'10 season, giving Seattle three years to get their act together and keep the senior franchise of the northwest, well, in the northwest.

If Seattle continues to follow its same path of opposition, Bennet will have no choice, much to the chagrin of the Sonic faithful, but to move the team. What better place to move the team, than to a city proven to bring in a bountiful amount of revenue for the NBA.

Let's be honest, what else does Oklahoma City have going for it? I researched the city on Wikipedia and besides the plethora of skyscrapers lining downtown (yes, this is actually something featured on their site), and the University of Oklahoma, they have nothing. Yes, OKC has various minor league franchises there and a beautiful Myriad Botanical Garden designed by I.M. Pei, which is impressive. There's no doubt, however, the OKC Sonics would not only sell-out every night, but the Ford Center would be filled by people who would cheer with every dribble as if their life depended on it, and considering what else is around Oklahoma City, how can you blame them?

You can't blame Clay Bennet, either, if the Sonics head from the northwest to the southwest. His lifelong dream is to have a professional franchise in Oklahoma City, and as long as he does anything less than sabotage Seattle's attempts to keep the Sonics home, he is just a man following his dream.

Seattle named their team the SuperSonics in 1967 to represent the area's aerospace industry. If, and when, the team moves, the team name should stick, because its quite possible the Sonics will take OKC into orbit and change Wikipedia's description of Oklahoma City forever.

Posted by Wailele Sallas at 11:22 PM | Comments (0)

November 2, 2006

NFL Weekly Predictions: Week 9

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

Atlanta @ Detroit

Michael Vick threw for 291 yards and three touchdowns to lead the Falcons to a 29-27 win over the Bengals. Atlanta improved to 5-2, and Vick has thrown for seven touchdowns in his last two games. Is this proof that Vick has become a prototypical NFL passer, and is not just a glorified running back with a cannon for an arm?

"Oh yeah, proof positive player," says Vick. "I can't wait to put on a silly wig and do a Sunday Ticket commercial for DirecTV. I'm just waiting for them to call. Hey, give me a three-minute play clock, and I can examine a defense and change the play at the line, just like Peyton Manning."

The good news for the Lions is that they didn't lose last week. The bad news is they had a bye week. The news was also good for wide receiver Roy Williams.

"I guaranteed a bye week," boasts Williams, "and doggone it, I was right. This week, I'm guaranteeing that we'll have home-field advantage."

Right again, Roy. And how did that home-field advantage work out for the Tigers?

What's next for Vick? Five touchdown passes in a game, or none? You never can tell. With Lions defensive tackle Shaun Rogers suspended, the middle should be opened up for the running game. The Falcons rush for over 200 yards, and Vick throws for two scores.

Falcons win, 27-14.

Cincinnati @ Baltimore

First place in the AFC North is on the line as the 5-2 Ravens host the 4-3 Bengals. The Bengals lost 29-27 at home to the Falcons, while Baltimore handed the Saints there first loss in the Superdome, 35-22. Steve McNair threw two touchdown passes and ran for another, and the Ravens returned two Drew Brees interceptions for touchdowns.

"Now, who dares question my decision to fire Jim Fassel and take over offensive play-calling duties?" asks Ravens head coach Brian Billick, wearing a baseball cap with "The O.C." imprinted on the front. "Whom else in this league can call offensive plays that result in touchdowns for our defense? I amaze myself sometimes."

Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson fell just short in his guarantee of two touchdowns against DeAngelo Hall and Atlanta. Johnson had six catches for 78 yards and one score.

"Hey, if the NFL wants to fine me $5,000 for the 'Ocho-Cinco' on my jersey, that's okay," says Johnson, who, on the year, has two touchdowns. "That's nothing but refried beans and rice to me. I can pay in dollars, or the Mexican equivalent of two billion pesos. And, you don't have to tell me. I've been informed by a number of people that 'ocho-cinco' was not the correct way to say '85' in Spanish. It's 'ochenta y cinco.' I also found out that 'Chad Johnson' in Spanish is 'Chad Johnson.' Gracias."

With Chris Henry back, the Bengals have three great deep threats, and the Ravens can't cover all of them at once. Henry arrives on the field with "22" on the back of his jersey, signifying his last Breathalyzer measurement. He then proceeds to catch seven passes for 115 yards and a long score.

Cincinnati forces a tie in the North with a 23-21 win.

Dallas @ Washington

Obviously, Bill Parcells is not Bill Cowher, and has no qualms about benching a quarterback. In his first start for the Cowboys, Tony Romo passed for a score and 270 yards, including nine completions to Terrell Owens for 107 yards.

"T.O. and I seem to be on the same page on the field," says Romo, "and, according to eHarmony.com, we'd be pretty darn compatible off the field, as well. Hey you, bellhop, I mean Drew Bledsoe, grab my bags, and get me a cup of latte, stat."

"There are some disturbing Romo-sexual undertones to what Tony is saying," says Owens, sweating out some crunches on his deluxe Ab Lounger. "That makes me somewhat uncomfortable, but not nearly as uncomfortable as seeing Bill Parcells becoming romantically involved with a number of my teammates on the sidelines last week in Charlotte. But as long as Tony's throwing me the ball, it's all good."

The Redskins will be playing for their lives in the NFC East. A loss and they could be four games out of first in the division, with an 0-3 division record.

"We understand the extreme urgency and seriousness of this situation," says Clinton Portis, dressed in a moo-moo, platform boots, cummerbund, and a pair of giant Elton John sunglasses. "I call this character 'O.T. from Big D.' And no, it has nothing to do with Terrell Owens."

Can Romo survive the pressure of his second start, at Fed Ex Field, in the nation's capitol, in front of Redskins' owner Daniel Snyder and his celebrity guest? No problem. Romo throws for two scores, and the Cowboys outlast the Redskins, 34-28.

Green Bay @ Buffalo

The Packers won for the first time at home, dominating the hapless Cardinals 31-14 behind two rushing scores from Ahman Green and two touchdowns from Brett Favre. Favre's one-yard pass to David Martin was the 406th touchdown pass of his career, leaving him 14 behind Dan Marino's NFL record of 420. In the third quarter, Favre added a rare rushing score, the 13th of his career, and he now trails record-holder Emmitt Smith by 153 in that category.

"I know Emmitt is shaking is his dancing shoes," says Favre. "You know it's a crazy world when Peyton Manning has two rush TDs and I have one. Next thing you know, Ben Roethlisberger will have a game without a turnover. Anyway, after my rush score, I performed a Lambeau Leap and barely made it up. That was embarrassing, so I've asked management to lower the end zone seats to ground level should I find myself in that situation again."

The Packers will face the 2-5 Bills, losers of three-straight.

"It's hard to get these cats motivated," says Buffalo head coach Dick Jauron. "When you're in the same division with the Patriots, everything is for second place, or, in our case, third or fourth place. Thank goodness for realignment; otherwise, we'd be playing for fifth."

Hometown heroes the Goo Goo Dolls pump up the Bills with a hot singing of the national anthem. But the Packers find more motivation in it for themselves, realizing that if anything sang by the Goo Goo Dolls pumps the Bills up, then the Bills are in trouble. Favre throws two touchdown passes, and the Packers win, 20-17.

Houston @ N.Y. Giants

The Giants subdued the Buccaneers in windy Giants Stadium 17-3 with a dominant defensive effort, holding the Tampa offense to 174 total yards. The G-Men controlled the clock, holding the ball for over 10 minutes more than the Bucs, behind the 26 rushes of Tiki Barber. Despite only tallying 68 yards on the ground, Barber remains the NFL's leading rusher.

"Yeah, all this talk of my retirement has really been a distraction," says Barber. "Michael Irvin, from the 'U' and Tom Jackson, from the 'Lou,' need to shut their yapholes about me. Since I mentioned retirement, we've beaten the Falcons and Cowboys, handily, I might add. If my teammates are distracted, it's only because they can't agree on a retirement gift."

Houston's David Carr was benched after three turnovers in the Texans' 28-22 loss to the Titans. He was replaced by the gorgeously-named Sage Rosenfels, who passed for two touchdowns. Houston coach Gary Kubiak said Carr will start Sunday, but he won't hesitate to bench him should his play falter again.

"You can't turn the ball over and play quarterback in this league," says Kubiak, "unless you're Ben Roethlisberger. And David is not Roethlisberger; he's not that bad."

"Talk about being unwanted," says Carr. "I don't even think I could get adopted by Madonna right now."

Carr gets the start and is sacked four times by the Giants. Tiki Barber rushes for 130 yards and his first touchdown of the year.

New York wins, 31-20.

Kansas City @ St. Louis

The Chiefs improved to 4-3 in the AFC West, and 3-0 against NFC teams, by beating the Seahawks 35-28 at Arrowhead Stadium behind Larry Johnson's huge 39-carry, 155-yard, four touchdown day, capped by the game-winning TD with just over two minutes to play.

"We're going to ride Larry Johnson like a state fair pony," says Kansas City head coach Herman Edwards, all smiles. "Giddy up! He's a horse and a thoroughbred, and is really the only reason I left the Jets and came to Kansas City. This Chiefs offense is finally clicking, and it should continue to click against the Rams, or any team in the NFC West. Here's a fact: NFC West teams gave up a combined 145 points last week, and they have a collective 13-game losing streak."

Here's another fact: of all the teams in the NFL with winning records, only two have allowed more points than they have scored. Can you guess which division those two teams are in?

"I'll say the NFC West," says Rams quarterback Marc Bulger, "where defense is about as negligible as Dennis Green's coaching ability. We know that to be safe against the Chiefs, we'll have to score 50. If we don't, we'll have to rely on our defense, who we regularly outscore in practice everyday."

The Rams can't stop Johnson, who rushes for 145 yards and a touchdown, but the Chiefs can't stop Bulger, Torry Holt, Steven Jackson, or Jeff Wilkins, who kicks a 49-yard field goal to give the Rams a 37-35 win.

Miami @ Chicago

The Bears left nothing to chance against the 49ers, racing to a 41-0 lead at half-time, and coasting to a 41-10 win. Such was their complete dominance, the Bears spent halftime selecting a producer for their soon-to-be-released Super Bowl anthem "The Super Bowl Shuffle And Flow." Kanye West was the near unanimous pick, although Rex Grossman had his sights set on Rick Rubin or Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. Now 7-0, the Bears just have one hurdle to clear, the Dolphins, to enter next week's showdown at the Giants with an unblemished record.

"That's some hurdle," says wide receiver Muhsin Muhammed. "We may not even have to jump. But we know the Dolphins will be fired up. I'm sure the 1972 Dolphins will give the team a pep talk, but this isn't 1986, we're not in Miami , Nick Saban isn't Don Shula, and Joey Harrington isn't Dan Marino."

"But I can tickle the ivories like no other quarterback in history," says Harrington, pounding out 'Chopsticks' on his baby grand. "We've got history on our side, and, and, and, well, pretty much nothing else."

On Wednesday at the Bears practice facility in Lake Forest, Illinois, Grossman moons a helicopter carrying 1972 Dolphins Bob Griese and Larry Csonka, there to drop water balloons and toss oranges at the Bears. Then, on Sunday, Grossman wears a white head band with "1972" printed on it. This outrages the Dolphins, but not the current Dolphins, who are no match for the Bears. Chicago picks off Joey Harrington three times, and Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson combine for 140 yards and two touchdowns.

Chicago wins, 30-10.

New Orleans @ Tampa Bay

After last week's miraculous 62-yard field goal to beat the Eagles, Tampa kicker Matt Bryant learned a hard lesson on Sunday against the Giants.

"Yeah," says Bryant, "booting a 43-yarder to cut a 14-0 deficit to 14-3 in the second quarter on the road just doesn't pack the same drama as a 62-yarder for the win on the game's last play at home."

That's right, Matt. And there's not much drama in a 17-3 game anyway. Hey, do you realize you'll be the answer to a trivia question, one day, maybe next year?

The Saints were dropped 35-22 by the Ravens in the Superdome, their first loss their this year. Baltimore totally shut down the Saints' rushing game, holding them to 35 yards. Forced to throw, Drew Brees was picked off three times, two of which were returned for touchdowns by the Ravens.

"Yeah, but one was returned for a touchdown by my receiver Joe Horn," says Brees. "Obviously, he wasn't my intended target."

After suffering their first loss of the season, the Saints rebounded in week five to beat the Bucs. The Ravens handed them loss number two, and the Saints will rebound again versus the Bucs, albeit in a tight contest.

New Orleans wins, 24-21.

Tennessee @ Jacksonville

Tennessee quarterback Vince Young goosed his hometown team, the same team that passed over him in the draft, by leading the Titans to a 28-22 win over the Texans. Young passed for 87 yards and rushed for 44, and the Titans got a boost from Adam "Pac-Man" Jones, who returned a punt 53 yards for a touchdown in the fourth quarter.

"Usually, getting a 'boost' from Pac-Man means Adam is jacking a car, or something involving a firearm," says Young. "Adam says we need more thugs, and, let's face it, what team doesn't need more thugs, except the Bengals. But as long as Adam keeps the thuggery on the field or in his CD player, then it's all right by me. Wait, this just in: Pac-Man's been suspended one game, for, get this, thuggery."

Jacksonville used the words of former Eagle quarterback Ron Jaworski as motivation towards their 13-6 upset of the Eagles in Philadelphia. Earlier in the week, Jaworski had called the Jags "mentally weak," a characterization that didn't sit well with Jack Del Rio.

"Mentally weak, huh?" says Del Rio. "Look, Jaworski, I just solved this Sudoku puzzle, expert level, in two minutes. I have it on record from my good friend Harold Carmichael that you couldn't even solve one side of the Rubik's Cube. So, if you want to call us 'mentally weak,' take a look in the mirror, and you'll see that you're physically ugly, as well."

Del Rio gives David Garard the start, which is a mentally smart move, and the Jags beat the Titans, 23-16.

Minnesota @ San Francisco

Combined, the Vikings and the 49ers have nine Super Bowl appearances. And combined, they have five Super Bowl wins and four losses. Further in-depth analysis reveals that, when you separate the wins from the losses, San Francisco has all five wins and Minnesota has all four losses.

"Fascinating!" says Vikings head coach Brad Childress, who looks less like an NFL coach and more like the tenor in a barber shop quartet. "Almost as fascinating as that coaching clinic given by Bill Belichick called 'Exposing An Overrated Defense and Pathetic Offense in One Easy Step: Belichick's Plan to Defeat the Vikings.' That was an awesome lesson, and it was free. And it was given before we even played the Patriots on Monday night, and I still couldn't do anything about it."

Couldn't do anything about it? The 49ers know exactly what you're talking about. Against the Bears, San Fran was lit up for 41 points in the first half, which tied a Chicago franchise record. The 49ers went on to lose 41-10, and fell to 2-5, and now sport the league's worst scoring defense, surrendering an average of over 33 points per game.

"Yeah, but what team has held the Bears scoreless in the second half?" asks Mike Nolan, betwixt chapters of a motivational speaking book he's reading. "No one but us."

Speaking of a scoreless half, we might see one in this game. Both teams will try to rebound from embarrassing defeats, but the Vikes pull it out on Ryan Longwell's late field goal.

Minnesota wins, 22-20.

Cleveland @ San Diego

The Chargers piled up 419 yards of total offense and easily outscored the visiting Rams 38-24 last Sunday to move into a tie for first in the AFC West with the Broncos, who lost to the Colts. LaDainian Tomlinson rushed for 183 yards and scored three times, and Phillip Rivers was a model of efficiency by going 15-of-23 for 206 yards and a touchdown. Linebacker Shawne Merriman, appealing his suspension for steroid use, sacked Marc Bulger three times, and now is tied for the NFL lead with 8.5.

"I'm going to take it like a man," says Merriman, jamming to the tunes of his fave band, the Cheetah Girls. "That is, I'm going to take my suspension like a man, and I'm going to take this supplement like a man, with no chaser. Darn those tainted supplements! I wish someone would catch the 'Supplement Tainting Bandit.' Those serial tainters are becoming a problem, right Barry Bonds."

"Please refer that to one of my lawyers," replies Bonds.

Merriman will miss the next four games, but will return in time for the Chargers' final five, which includes home games against the Broncos and Chiefs. It should also coincide with the Chargers annual late-season swoon, when the nostalgia for "Martyball" overwhelms coach Marty Schottenheimer and he resorts to conservative play-calling. But the Chargers should handle Cleveland without Merriman, as long as Rivers, Tomlinson, and Antonio Gates don't share supplements with Merriman. Tomlinson rushes for 85 yards and a touchdown, and Rivers passes for 220 yards and two touchdowns.

San Diego wins, 27-7.

Denver @ Pittsburgh

It's a rematch of last year's AFC championship game, which was won by the Steelers in Denver back when Ben Roethlisberger had his wits about him. This year, the Steelers, like the inside of Roethlisberger's head, are reeling. Roethlisberger continues to struggle, and Bill Cowher refuses to start Charlie Batch. Hey Bill, to be the Steeler quarterback, don't you need to be mistake-free and make the occasional big play?

"You mean, like Charlie Batch?" asks Cowher. "There's a fine line between being stubborn, and being a 'fathead.' I've crossed it."

"Did someone say 'Fathead?'" says Roethlisberger. "Sales of my life-size wall stickers are way down, although I hear they're making great dart boards among fans in Pittsburgh. And my jersey sales have come to a virtual standstill. I think Coach Cowher was the last to buy one. My head hurts."

If you're talking quarterbacks and turnovers, then Jake Plummer's name is soon to come up. In this case, it won't. However, his name will come up when the subject is not winning the big game. Plummer and the Broncos came up just short last Sunday, losing to the Colts 34-31.

"Hey, you can't blame me this time," says Plummer. "I made 36 impeccable handoffs, four perfect holds on extra points, and one flawless hold on a field goal. For once, you can blame our defense, or our coaching staff. If we score 31 points, there's no reason we shouldn't win, unless Reggie Wayne scores three touchdowns."

Sure, this is a must-win for the Steelers, but isn't every game when you're 2-5? Denver may be 5-2, but this is a must-win for them, as well. Every game for AFC West teams is a must-win. If you don't win the division, you run the risk of not even making the playoffs. Just ask the Chargers.

The Broncos pound the ball on the ground, content to wage a defensive battle with the Steelers. Plummer throws for a score, one to Rod "Please Don't Call Me 'Wiley Veteran'" Smith, and Denver rebounds for a 19-16 win.

Indianapolis @ New England

It's too bad NBC did not have the option of switching one of the 4:00 games with this one, because I, like most people, would much rather see Minnesota and San Francisco square off on prime time than see the Colts and Patriots. What does this game have to offer besides the two best quarterbacks in the game and the NFL's greatest current rivalry?

"Besides that, not much," say Tom Brady. "The Vikings at 49ers sound like a real barnburner. You mean I have to miss Extreme Makeover: Home Edition to play in this game? Ah, the sacrifices of the NFL quarterback. Seriously, though, despite the Colts 40-21 win here last year, we know Gillette Stadium still strikes fear in the Colts. They're nervous. They're unsettled. If Paul Revere were alive today, he would be on his horse shouting 'The skittish are coming! The skittish are coming!' The Colts know we weren't at full-strength last year."

"You can question my toughness," says Peyton Manning, enjoying a pre-game meal of watercress salad and carrot medallions, "but don't think I've ever played with fear in my heart. I'm not intimidated by Tom Brady's success against me, and I know it's going to be a three-ring circus out there. Shoot, I'd settle for a one-ring circus. Anyway, if this game comes down to a kick, we've got a red-blooded American on our side this time, former Patriot Adam Vinatieri, who will be public enemy No. 2 in this game. It's too bad the Patriots didn't grab Mike Vanderjagt this offseason, then I could safely guarantee our victory."

As the Colts exit the tunnel to the field, they are peppered by hot clam chowder from the New England faithful. Then, after a chilling convocation from novelist Stephen King, the fired-up Patriots take the field and frustrate the Colts once again. Manning and Brady combine for seven touchdown passes, and rookie kicker Stephen Gostkowski nails a pressure-filled 18-yard field goal to win it.

New England wins, 38-35.

Oakland @ Seattle

With the exception of the Bears, Colts, Patriots, Jets, Ravens, Bengals, Jaguars, Broncos, Chargers, Chiefs, Giants, Cowboys, Eagles, Vikings, Packers, Falcons, Saints, Panthers, Seahawks, Buckeyes, and Rams, the Raiders may arguably be the best team in the league. Two weeks ago, the Raiders ended the talk of an 0-16 year with a win over the Cardinals. Last week, they dispelled the notion of an 1-15 year by stunning the Steelers. That's two straight wins.

"Yeah, boyee, two straight for the Raiders!" says Randy Moss. "And speaking of '2 Strait,' he's the next big West Coast rapper to hit the scene. And speaking of West Coast rapper, how about the plight of Snoop Dogg? Snoop got arrested in Burbank for possession of a firearm and a controlled substance."

Big deal, Moss. What legitimate rapper hasn't? So, he got busted for a firearm and drugs? Was he with Chris Henry and Shawne Merriman, or was he in a wheelchair on the set of Training Day?

Seattle has lost two straight after opening the season 4-1. The have been hindered by injuries to Matt Hasselbeck and Shaun Alexander, which seems to have placed the pressure on their defense. And the defense has responded ... by giving up 59 points in the last two games.

"Like the rims on Al Davis' private jet," says Seattle's Mike Holmgren, "Shaun and Matt are totally unnecessary. Totally unnecessary to beat the Raiders, that is. The Raiders can't score on offense, and Seneca Wallace won't throw interceptions for touchdowns. Now, he might throw interceptions, but he's fast enough to catch the interceptor and make the tackle. At 4-3, I see no need to panic. No one else in this division is going anywhere. 9-7 could win this division. Heck, the Raiders could pull out second in this division."

Wallace rushes for a score, and passes for 190 yards, and the Seahawks defense keeps the Raider offense on the field, which is wise strategy.

Seattle wins, 24-3.

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 7:44 PM | Comments (7)

Showing Something Els

Ernie Els stood in the middle of the fairway on the par 5 14th at Innisbrook on Sunday afternoon in the Chrysler Championship faced with a little over 275 yards to get home. Despite playing himself out of the Tournament in the opening nine holes with a three-over par 39, the approach shot Els would hit made a big difference to him. Little did he know it, but as he stood in the Tournament at that point, Els would have finished at 31st position on the Tour money list — just enough to be the odd man out of the Tour Championship at East Lake.

Els had made mention several times in recent weeks how he wanted to earn his way into the Tour Championship, especially coming off of an injury-filled past two seasons and having not won on the PGA Tour since the WGC-AmEx Championship in 2004. He also said that he wanted to find a way to get into the Mercedes Championships — the season-opening event for the previous season's tournament winners. Knowing that the Chrysler Championship was out of his reach on the 14th hole, Els had to have realized the even greater importance of his approach shot and what was to follow in his round if he was to achieve either or both of those stated goals.

The shot that Els produced turned out to be what he called the shot of his season. Taking a driver off the deck into a tough wind on a difficult par 5, Els coerced the ball onto the lanky green within five feet of the cup. He had a legitimate chance at a double eagle, but as the ball settled, it was a surefire eagle.

Coming home in the final four holes, Els had some miscues on a day where he struggled to maintain any momentum that his flashes of brilliance provided. After an unfortunate bounce into the trees following an errant drive on the 18th, Els faced a tight 40-yard pitch shot to get up and down — perhaps with a spot in the field at East Lake on the line. Again, recognizing the moment, Els was nearly perfect with his pitch, almost holing it. The par secured his top ten finish position in the event.

Following the round, Els was so concerned about his position on the money list that he sought out a computer and Golf Channel reporter Mike Ritz to explain the math that might get him into the Tour Championship. It turned out that he had done enough to get into the season-ending event. He had around $13,000 to spare over Tom Pernice, Jr., the 30th-place finisher on the money list.

The furor that Els showed after the round to find his place on the money list and the subsequent relief that was apparent when he realized his achievement was refreshing, to say the least. Knowing that Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson, the PGA Tour's two most popular players, would not be participating in the Tour Championship was a blow to the credibility of an event that has become increasingly less important over the years.

Els, though, did a lot to restore some of the prestige of making the field by his comments and actions throughout the week. Afterwards, he told Billy Ray Brown of ABC Sports that he really learned to appreciate making the Tour Championship after years of taking if for granted that he would finish in the top 30 on the money list. He seemed genuinely relieved to have achieved the benchmark and that he would have a chance to be deemed "Tour Champion" (whatever that may mean) next week.

Certainly, what else Els did could be considered staging by Els and the Tour given that Woods, Mickelson, and an injured Stephen Ames would not be showing up in Atlanta. Regardless, though, the display worked on any level you choose. Golfers need to show more passion for the game, but are often discouraged from doing so for various reasons. Players should not be afraid to show that they care — and not just the ones that are struggling to maintain their eligibility in the top 125. Actually, Els, who made well over $2 million during his PGA Tour starts this year, was a much more compelling story than the battle for that top-125 ranking.

I was already a fan of Ernie Els before this week. He is an incredibly talented golfer, a gentle giant of a human being, and has the perfect attitude for this sport. But he displayed something on Sunday that will have me definitively rooting for him more often — something that a lot of the Tour's elite seem to lack at times — heart.

Posted by Ryan Ballengee at 7:10 PM | Comments (0)

NASCAR Top 10 Power Rankings: Week 33

Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Matt Kenseth — Kenseth was edged for third-place in Atlanta by good buddy Dale Earnhardt, Jr., who nipped the No. 17 Roush car at the line for the spot. Kenseth remained the points leader, and now holds a slim 26-point lead over Jimmie Johnson.

"I know the No. 48 car is climbing the standings much faster than Tony Stewart climbs a fence," says Kenseth. "Good gosh, I think NBC had to break for two commercials while Tony climbed that thing."

2. Jimmie Johnson — After being down 165 points early in the Chase, Johnson has recovered, and then some, with his third-straight result in the top two. He finished second to Tony Stewart in Atlanta and moved to within 26 points of Matt Kenseth for the points lead.

"Well, it looks like that restraining order against Brian Vickers has paid off," says Johnson.

3. Denny Hamlin — Hamlin finished a solid eighth in Atlanta and advanced one place in the standings to third, but lost ground to Matt Kenseth and Jimmie Johnson, who both bettered Hamlin's Atlanta result. Hamlin's teammate, Tony Stewart, won the race ahead of Johnson.

"Hey, I'm just as sick as the fence climbing as everyone else," says Hamlin. "You know they'll be selling models of Tony climbing a fence on QVC. And idiots will buy it."

4. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. — Earnhardt finished third in Atlanta after leading 95 laps, and was passed on the final restart after staying out while Tony Stewart and Jimmie Johnson pitted. Earnhardt was soon passed by those two, and fought off Matt Kenseth for third down the wire.

"Tony and Jimmie snookered me," says Earnhardt. "Just like Robbie Gordon snookered race officials into flying a caution by tossing out his roll bar cover."

5. Jeff Burton — Burton's bad luck continued as a flat tire forced him to make a green flag pit stop, which cost him a lap. He eventually finished two down, and came home in 13th. Burton maintained fourth in the points, but lost 36 points to leader Matt Kenseth.

"As soon as I hit the top of the points standings," says Burton, "I've taken a nose dive. And it doesn't help that as I was almost about to make up a lap, Robby Gordon tosses out his roll bar pad to create a caution. Honestly, does anyone believe Gordon when he says he didn't do it?"

6. Jeff Gordon — Gordon led 44 laps in Atlanta, but after slowing dramatically due to a flat tire, was rammed from behind by Jamie McMurray, who lost sight of Gordon in the setting sun. After several pit stops to repair damage on the No. 24 Nicorette Chevrolet, Gordon worked his way back to a sixth place finish.

"Don't ask me why I have Nicorette on my car," says Gordon. "Is someone going to decide to stop smoking while watching a NASCAR race? If they do, then they're not a real NASCAR fan."

7. Kevin Harvick — Harvick took the biggest tumble of all Chase competitors, falling four places to sixth with a 31st in the Bass Pro Shops 500. Harvick was plagued all day with handling problems, a may forever second-guess his decision to forego Happy Hour to travel to Memphis and compete in the Busch Series race, although he had already clinched the title.

"It was a tough decision to make," says Harvick. "Elvira, Mistress of the Dark was in Memphis to give the 'start your engines' command. When in doubt, I always go where the cleavage is."

8. Mark Martin — Martin was involved in a multi-car crash started when Kenny Wallace came down on Jeff Green. In his effort to avoid them, Martin slammed into Sterling Marlin. Martin finished 36th, and is now 201 points behind Matt Kenseth in the points.

"I'd like to blame a rookie for the accident," says Martin, "but this is clearly a case of veteran-on-veteran crime."

9. Kasey Kahne — Kahne failed to heed the warning of his spotter, and drifted high into David Stremme, causing a wreck that ruined Stremme's day and eventually led to Kahne's 38th-place finish. Kahne fell one place in the points, and now sits in ninth, 210 out of first.

"That's totally my mistake," says Kahne. "I could have sworn I saw my spotter sitting up there with a seeing-eye dog. I guess I was wrong."

10. Kyle Busch — Busch wrecked only four laps into the Bass Pro Shops 500, and unlike other Chase competitors who have suffered crashes, he had no help. He eventually finished 27th and now is dead last in the Chase, 249 out of first.

"I just got high and into the marbles," says Busch. "Now, that doesn't necessarily mean I need to be drug-tested."

Posted by Jeffrey Boswell at 6:43 PM | Comments (0)

November 1, 2006

The Team Everyone Loves to Hate

It's an annual sports right of passage. Twelve young men earn a place next to John Mark Karr and Scott Peterson in our Halls of Hatred. That's right — college basketball is back and it's time to start hating Duke again.

Never mind that it doesn't make any sense. The Blue Devils don't resemble any of our other archetypical sports heels. They don't fire off rounds into the air like Stephen Jackson. They don't coldly break hallowed records while swimming in an ocean of steroid innuendo like Barry Bonds. They don't exercise $200 million dollar payrolls like the Yankees. We hate them because ... well, just because.

This should have been America's team. As Dick Vitale will remind you 7,845 times this year, the Dukies achieve at academic levels above most of their peers. They rarely run afoul of the law. They rival David Eckstein in grittiness and hustle. A quick review of some of the most hated Blue Devils of the past decade-and-a-half provides plenty of examples: Steve Wojciechowski slapping the floor on the defensive end; Shane Battier diving into the stands for a loose ball.

And yet we just can't help but hate them. Their great sin? They win too much.

That we got to this point is inexplicable. Perhaps there is a natural level of disdainful jealousy at play here, as Duke has dominated the college hoops landscape. But our blind abhorrence of the Durham dozen goes way beyond that.

To find evidence of this from last year, all you have to do is remember the smiles on the faces of your co-workers the Friday morning after Duke lost to LSU in the Sweet 16. Remember the glee with which grown men relished J.J. Redick tearfully mourning the end of his career. And now look at the hint of a smile that curls the corners of a college basketball fan's lips when you tell them Duke is starting the season ranked outside the top 10.

But don't get too comfortable, Duke-haters. This year's team could be better than last year's come tourney time. Last year's group spent too much time on offense with the ball in Sheldon Williams' and "Just Jumpers" Redick's hands. Williams and Redick may be gone to the NBA, but the cupboard is hardly empty. Sophomore forward Josh McRoberts is an athletic interior presence, and junior wing DeMarcus Nelson looks poised to match some of the backcourt points the departed Redick notched.

But the biggest reason to doubt a Blue Devil drop-off is also their most prominent target of hatred. It's been four years since Mike Krzyzewski needed to do this much molding and coaxing of his stable of talent. If nothing else, this year's squad gives Coach K the opportunity to prove himself as the hardwood genius many commentators tout him as. These Blue Devils are less experienced than a mail room intern, but one glance at their high school resumes and accolades leaves no doubt as to their talent.

In fact, as inexperienced as Duke is, they still have an advantage over many of the other top-flight programs ahead of them in the preseason polls. Tobacco Road rival North Carolina nearly swept all of the first place votes in the ACC writers' conference poll, but the Tar Heels are just as green as Duke. However, while Carolina will bank on many true freshmen who were playing high school ball last March, Coach K will hand the keys over to players who may not have played much, but have spent plenty of time in the system.

So as this college basketball season progresses and Duke inevitably succeeds, give credit where credit is due. Let's be reasonable and recognize them as one of the great sports dynasties of this era. And let's all have rational, mature opinions ... nah, screw it.

Go Carolina, beat Dook.

Posted by Corrie Trouw at 9:18 PM | Comments (2)

College Football Predictions: Week 10

A solid 3-2 for Week 9. I'd take that every week for the rest of my life. I wish I had done that well on my personal plays. Let's see if I can keep things going forward.

YTD Record

1* = 6-4-1
2* = 7-7-1
3* = 7-4

1* = Gun to my head, I'd play the team listed (risky)
2* = A good chance of covering; a worthy play (fairly confident)
3* = I will be playing this team for a large chunk of money (very confident)

West Virginia @ Louisville -1.5, Thursday 7:30 PM, ESPN

Go ahead and laugh at the Big Least all you want. The winner of this Thursday's showdown at Papa John Stadium is likely headed to Glendale for the national title game. Both teams enter this contest sporting sterling 7-0 records. Louisville has survived the loss of their two best players for an extended portion of the season, and West Virginia has survived, well, not a whole lot, actually. Both teams have played super weak schedules so far with Louisville's being a bit stronger, thanks to their win over pre-brawl Miami.

I was high on Louisville in the preseason so much so that I took them at 40-1 to win the national title, so I have to be extra careful in evaluating this game. West Virginia should be the trendy pick in this spot. With Michael Bush out of the picture, they now have the name players in this contest, Steve Slaton and Pat White.

I don't expect many to give Louisville a chance in this one, which makes me like them even more. West Virginia's defense is awful and will have to bring five or six guys just to get pressure on Brian Brohm. They will have a very hard time stopping the Cardinal attack. Defense or no defense, the West Virginia offense is very explosive, but in my opinion. they rely too much on big plays. These big plays will be harder to come by against a very fast Cardinal defense. In what will be one of my largest college football bets of the year, Louisville wins going away.

The play: Louisville 3*

LSU -3 @ Tennessee, 3:30 PM, CBS

I thought this game would be a pick 'em, so needless to say, I am bit perplexed by this line. The polls really don't mean a whole lot when it comes to setting the line, but it's a bit suspect to have the No. 13 ranked team in the country giving three points on the road against the No. 8 team.

There isn't much to analyze here. LSU has a bit more talent than the Vols, but they have self-destructed in both of their big spots this year. Of the two sides, its the Vols who have the quality wins. If I was going to play this game, I would do so based solely on the weird line angle, but wouldn't hold my breath in regards to LSU's discipline issues being resolved.

The play: LSU 1*

Boston College @ Wake Forest +4, 7:00 PM, ESPN

Wake Forest vs Boston College for the ACC Atlantic division lead! If you called that ESPN headline during the preseason, then you should probably be writing this column in my stead. This is seriously a big game. It has legitimate BCS ramifications. I'm not being sarcastic.

Look at the stats long enough and only one conclusion can be reached, Boston College should win this game easily. I mean, Wake Forest can't possibly win the ACC Atlantic with the 106th-rated passing attack. Can they? We all know where this is going. Besides, I almost never bet against ugly home dogs like Wake.

The play: Wake Forest 2*

Arkansas @ South Carolina +2.5, 7:45 PM, ESPN

Don't look now, but Arkansas is running away with the SEC West. I almost took a flier on the Hogs at 33-1 to win SEC at the start of the season, but I backed down at the last instant. A really brilliant move on my part, huh?

Regrets aside, its a little early to be handing Arky the SEC West just yet as they still have games left with Tennessee and LSU after this very losable game in Columbia. Twice so far this year, I have given South Carolina my seal of approval as home dogs, and twice so far this year, the Gamecocks have failed to cover. Steve Spurrier owes us two, and I think he'll give us one back here. With logic like that, we can't lose.

The play: South Carolina 2*

Virginia Tech @ Miami (FL) +2, 8:00 PM, ABC

Talk about two teams headed in the opposite direction. Last week, Virginia Tech saved their season by upending a highly-regarded Clemson team at home. On the other side of the coin, Miami likely got their coach fired with a horrible second half effort in their loss at Georgia Tech.

Everything is pointing towards Va Tech in this one, but I happen to think they were lucky to catch Clemson last week in a let down spot. The Hokies don't have a passing game, and for as many issues as Miami may have, they still have lots of speed on defense. There is a chance Miami has already mailed this season in, but I am willing to wager that they show for a prime time night game at home.

The play: Miami 3*

Please keep in mind that I am evaluating the most popular games for the purposes of this article. These games are not necessarily the best options available. You can more picks, results, and opinions on sports wagering at Ryan Hojnacki's website. This article is for entertainment purposes only. Sports wagering is not legal is most jurisdictions in the U.S. Sports Central does not encourage any individual to partake in illegal activities and holds no responsibility for actions taken as a result of this article. Check with your local laws before engaging in any wagering activities.

Posted by Ryan Hojnacki at 9:03 PM | Comments (2)

2006 MLB Offseason: First Look

* The Washington Nationals' front office must be sweating bullets right now. The team had the biggest trade chip at the deadline in Alfonso Soriano and failed to move him for what the team so desperately needs, namely young, inexpensive talent. This offseason should see Soriano as the most sought-after hitter in free agency and it's been said that he's already turned down $70 million dollars from the organization.

To further complicate matters, the Baltimore Orioles, the team geographically closest to the Nationals, intend to make a strong bid to sign Soriano. In short, the Nationals have painted themselves into a corner. Either accede to Soriano's high salary demands or lose him for nothing — potentially to a local rival. General Manager Jim Bowden's decision to keep Soriano at the trade deadline should have only been made if he was almost certain that he could get a deal done to keep Soriano long-term. Now, with the possibility of Soriano in Baltimore, he faces the possibility that he will be reminded of this potentially franchise-killing gaffe every single day.

* The Oakland A's faced a similar choice at the deadline with Barry Zito. Unlike the Nationals, however, Oakland had a chance to compete in 2006, so trading Zito for young talent in the middle of the season could have vanquished any chance of the A's competing in 2006. Although the A's were able to make the postseason, they were unable to make too much noise once they got there and it now seems likely that they will lose their former Cy Young winner, Zito, for nothing. Although the A's, like the Nationals, are pretty bare at the minor league level, the A's might be able to handle the departure of Zito because of the arms they already have at the major league level, like Danny Haren, Rich Harden, Esteban Loaiza, and Joe Blanton.

What might be tougher to stomach for A's fans is if Zito ends up pitching for a division rival, like the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in the Southern part of California in the Western area of the United States on the planet Earth. It's thought that Zito prefers to stay on the West Coast. So, although teams like the Mets and Yankees might pursue him, it should surprise nobody if he instead elects to sign with a left-coast team like the Dodgers, Padres, or the aforementioned Angels. The only real surprise will be if Zito is still pitching home games for the A's next year.

* Speaking of the Angels, they are the team that looks most ready to make a major acqusition this offseason. It may be a free agent like Soriano or Zito, but it may also be through a trade. The Angels are in great position to improve their team for two reasons. First, they have prospects and young major leaguers that other teams absolutely salivate over — guys like Ervin Santana, Howie Kendrick, Erick Aybar, and Brandon Wood.

To this point, GM Bill Stoneman has been pretty conservative about dealing his top-notch prospects, but with owner Arte Moreno expecting results, this might be the year that Stoneman parts with a few of his young studs to get a proven superstar like Miguel Tejada or Alex Rodriguez. Second, in addition to having the prospects that other teams would likely demand for superstar players, the Angels have an owner who does not shy away from spending money. This is a must for any team seeking to acquire guys like A-Rod, Tejada, or Soriano and Moreno has proven time and again by bringing in guys like Vladimir Guerrero and Bartolo Colon, that he's willing to spend whatever is necessary for the team to win.

* It should be an interesting offseason in Boston. Just a couple years removed from their captivating World Series victory, the Red Sox find themselves at a crossroads. Do Theo Epstein and company believe they have the core to be able to compete for another championship next year? If so, the Red Sox could be very active in trying to acquire the players they think can put them over the top. If not, the Red Sox may end up dealing players like Manny Ramirez in an effort to replenish their young talent with hopes to compete next year, but with a more realistic focus on 2008. It's not very clear-cut.

The optimists in the front office can point to an unmatched 1-2 hitting punch in Manny and David Ortiz and young pitching talent like Jonathan Papelbon, Manny Delcarmen, and Craig Hansen, as well as veteran pitchers such as Curt Schilling and Josh Beckett as reasons to build for 2007. The skeptics, however, can point to the fact that though Hansen and Delcarmen both showed flashes, neither proved that he was able to be relied upon right now. Papelbon, though fantastic as a closer, is set to be moved into the rotation next year, where he has yet to prove himself at the major league level. Schilling isn't getting any younger or better and Beckett was a bit of a disappointment. The Sox also gave away a lot of young talent to the Marlins in order to get Beckett, so they no longer have many fallback options.

Moreover, it seems that Manny being Manny is becoming more of the norm rather than the exception and he even started showing some signs of age in 2006. Finally, one of their best young talents, pitcher Jon Lester, was diagnosed with cancer in 2006 and his status as a baseball player for 2007 is both unknown and secondary to his recovery right now. It seems to me that there are too many questions for the Red Sox to realistically be competitive in 2007. Therefore, taking a step back in 2007 with an eye toward 2008, as much as it might be unpopular with the fan base, is the prudent way to go.

* Remember the World Baseball Classic? If you were one of the baseball fans who watched it, you should already know about Daisuke Matsuzaka. It was Matsuzaka, a pitcher, who was Japan's most dominant player and he's now intending to travel across the pond and pitch for some fortunate major league team next year. Many scouts claim that Matsuzaka already has the ability to be an effective number one or two starter in the majors. He demonstrated this ability in the World Baseball Classic by confounding many major league hitters, some of them all-stars, with his nasty stuff. He's so highly-touted that the team that earns the right to negotiate with him has to pay $25 million dollars. Again, that's to negotiate with him.

It's been hypothesized that at least half of all of the major league teams are considering this price tag, not to mention his actual price tag which could be in excess of what Barry Zito is asking for. More than likely, most teams will ultimately have to forego this opportunity because they simply can't afford to commit so much money to an unproven commodity. This leaves the usual suspects, such as the Angels, Dodgers, Yankees, Mets, Orioles, and Mariners as the likely front-runners to acquire his services.

Out of all these teams, however, one makes more sense than the rest and that team is the Seattle Mariners. First, Seattle is owned by a Japanese company and has a good track record with attracting Japanese players, such as current Mariners Ichiro Suzuki and Kenji Johjima, as well as former Mariners Kaz Sasaki and Shigetoshi Hasegawa.

Second, Seattle apparently has no qualms with spending inordinate amounts of money on "risky" players. If you don't believe me, consider that just two years ago, the Mariners committed in the ballpark of a $100 million dollars to two players. One was coming off a career year that he had never previously approached (Adrian Beltre) and another that had barely played the previous season due to a pretty significant shoulder issue (Richie Sexson).

Third, Seattle is the perfect place for a Japanese player. Why? For one, there is a decent-sized Japanese population in Seattle and the city has embraced the Japanese players that have been there. On top of that, his transition might be made easier by having Ichiro and Johjima, guys who've already undergone this transition, in the clubhouse to counsel with. Furthermore, Matsuzaka is coming with a lot of hype attached to him. The Pacific Northwest is the forgotten land when it comes to the national sports media (just ask last year's Seahawks), so Matsuzaka can avoid much of the external pressure that comes with playing in a large market like New York, thereby further easing his transition.

Fourth and perhaps most importantly, Matsuzaka could be the player that takes the Mariners to the World Series for the first time in their history (don't laugh), and this should obviously be appealing to both him and the franchise. Think about this, the Mariners are already an excellent defensive team and they already have a very good bullpen. Their hitting is also very good as guys like Ichiro, Sexson, Beltre, Jose Lopez, and Raul Ibanez are key components to a lineup that has the ability to run, hit for average, and hit for power. The only real hole on the Mariners is their starting pitching.

Matsuzaka can't fix it by himself, but the Mariners are also rumored to be a front-runner for another ace, Washington state's own Jason Schmidt. Adding both Matsuzaka and Schmidt to a rotation that already boasts phenom Felix Hernandez, could give the Mariners the best 1-2-3 punch in the majors. Yes, I know Hernandez had an off-year in 2006, but let's not forget that he's only 20-years-old and was thought to be head and shoulders above guys like Francisco Liriano (sick), Jared Weaver (nasty), and Jonathan Papelbon (filthy) just one year ago.

Just a few years back, the Tigers were one of the worst teams in major league history. But they were playing for a world championship this year. The Mariners are nowhere near the level of futility that plagued the Tigers. So, with two smart moves, a World Series run is definitely within reach.

Posted by Kiarash Banisadre at 9:01 PM | Comments (0)