Foul Territory: Belts, Jackets, and Handcuffs

* Green (Jacket) in Regulation — Patrick Reed won the Masters, holding off Ricky Fowler and Jordan Spieth to win his first major. Reed's grit and fire reminded many of Tiger Woods, while his family situation reminds many of Curtis Estrange.

* Repeat Defender — Former Raiders and 49ers linebacker Aldon Smith was arrested for the third time in the last two months, this time for violating a protective order. Smith was also charged with one count of domestic violence, for hitting rock bottom.

* She'll Soon Be Putting a Strap On — Ronda Rousey won her WWE debut, partnering with Kurt Angle to defeat Triple H and Stephanie McMahon at WrestleMania 34 at the Superdome. Much has been written about Rousey's MMA and judo career, and it appears her WWE career will be "well-scripted," as well.

* If You're Still Lying to Yourself, Maybe It's Time For an Injection of Sodium Pentathol — Mark McGwire said he could have hit 70 home runs without using performance-enhancing drugs. McGwire also stated he's found a clean and legal method to make his nose bigger.

* Did He Praise Their Rushin' Attack? — President Donald Trump welcomed the University of Alabama football team to the White House to honor the team's national championship. Trump then asked the Crimson Tide to hang around and help his defeat the Blue Wave.

* Out-Cognito — Buffalo Bills offensive lineman Richie Incognito is retiring after 12 seasons because of medical issues. He plans to ride off into the sunset, which is certain to be haze-y.

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