The Madness of Caitlin Clark’s Olympic Snub

The world of sports has been littered with outrages and scandals since the beginning of time — rigging games, performance-enhancing drugs, Angel Hernandez being allowed to umpire major league baseball games — the list goes on.

Surely, however, you, gentle reader, will agree with me that Caitlin Clark being left off the U.S. Olympic team dwarfs all of the other sporting injustices combined.

The decision by the WNBA (and I assume the WNBA picks the Olympic team because that's what many people say on Twitter) to leave her off the team is not only a grave miscarriage of justice, but it's also a bafflingly suicidal act by the WNBA.

Some people (read: idiots) are actually defending the decision, saying that Clark, as a rookie with just 13 professional games under her belt (13 games in which the Indiana Fever are 3-10, and while she's putting up an impressive, but not world-beating 16.3 ppg, she's struggling with turnovers) is too inexperienced, and that marketing and attracting the maximum viewing audience should be secondary to other concerns when selecting the Olympic team.

But they are wrong: marketing and attracting the maximum number of eyeballs is in fact the most important thing, period. It's how you grow the game.

The WNBA has made their decision (as have the players who were selected for the team, who are shamefully and selfishly not refusing their spot out of respect for Clark) and now must pay the consequences.

After all, Clark is already 22. How many more seasons does she have in her? How many more Olympics? What if she gets hit by a bus on August 12th, the day after the women's gold medal game? You just never know with these things.

I don't think there is any shutting this Pandora's Box the WNBA has opened. But even if there is a slightest chance for the WNBA to get us, the wise and furious public, to come back to the game after this abrogation of justice, they will need to do the following (and frankly, they should have implemented these steps as soon as Clark signed with the Fever).

First, Clark should be allowed to foul. How the hell are you going to grow the game with your messiah sitting on the bench with foul trouble or — perish the thought — having fouled out? You can't. As soon as the public is willing to see that the refs (and therefore the league) are willing to punish Clark, we will punish the league, by not watching.

Second, the league's floors are festooned with logos and team names that have NOTHING TO DO with Caitlin Clark. These should all be replaced with photographic montages of Caitlin Clark in action. If teams insist on having some sort of their own identity, it can be tied in with the floor, e.g., "We are the Las Vegas Aces! We, and only we, have a print of Caitlin Cark accepting an ESPY on our floor."

Finally, her teammates should be limited to five field goal attempts per player per game, and even that is Gandhi-like in its magnanimity. Ever hear the phrase "there is no 'I' in team?" Well, there is no "team" in "Caitlin Clark," either.

These are the ways the WNBA can maybe atone for this Olympics blight. My only question is, why isn't Clark demanding these things herself? I'm honestly really confused by that.

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