2024 NFL Draft: Stallions and Scallions

Who won a trip to Tahiti in this year's edition of Let's Make a Deal, NFL style — and behind whose curtain was a Sherman tank, with Jay Stewart emerging from the hood, waving a white flag?

Find out here!


Los Angeles Rams — The dry season is over and the rainy season has begun for them when it comes to the draft: 10 picks overall this time around, including four in the top 100, headed by rangy edge rusher Jared Verse of Florida State with their first selection in Round 1 since 2016. They also stayed in Seminole Country in the second round with Braden Fiske, who can be expected to be slotted at defensive tackle. Both could ease the pain of Aaron Donald's retirement.

Los Angeles Chargers — Offensive tackle Joe Alt, son of two-time Pro Bowl offensive tackle John Alt, who was drafted with the fifth overall pick out of Notre Dame, should help keep Justin Herbert upright — something that didn't happen last season. Jim Harbaugh followed that up by selecting one of his players from Michigan, linebacker Junior Colson, in the third round, and wide receiver Brenden Rice, Jerry's son, in the seventh. Should have no trouble returning to their customary role of completing the exacta in the AFC West.

Kansas City Chiefs — Ranked 24th in the NFL in yards gained per completion in 2023 at 10.41, so a need for speed was clearly evident — and they filled that need by moving up so that they could draft Xavier Worthy of Texas with the 28th overall pick. Further bolstered their offense with tackle Kingsley Suamataia of Brigham Young in the second round, and tight end Jared Wiley of TCU in the fourth.

Minnesota Vikings — Two first-round picks — J.J. McCarthy out of Michigan, the expected successor to Kirk Cousins at quarterback, and Alabama edge rusher Dallas Turner. And with the Bears also having an awesome draft (see below), the NFC North could be this year's AFC North.

Chicago Bears — Only five picks, but two of them were in the top 10 — USC quarterback Caleb Williams and Washington wide receiver Rome Odunze. The NFC North is on the ascendant as astrologers say, and could send three teams to the playoffs.


Denver Broncos — Bo Nix at No. 12? And they didn't have a second-round pick because they traded it, along with their first-round pick last year, for Sean Payton. Terrible!

Atlanta Falcons — Just two months after signing Kirk Cousins to a four year, $45-million-a-year contract, they reached for the sky and selected the injury-prone Michael Penix out of Washington, four spots ahead of Nix. This is how a team wins seven games three years in a row and five of the last six.

Tennessee Titans — After the top two (or should we say the bottom two?), there is a huge chasm to the rest. But with no third-round pick, and second-rounder T'Vondre Sweat (brother of Philadelphia's Josh Sweat) having been arrested for drunk driving on April 7, their recent slide — from 12-5 in 2021 to 7-10 in 2022 to 6-11 last season — could continue.

Dallas Cowboys — To paraphrase George Harrison, they had their minds set on Texas running back Jonathon Brooks to succeed Tony Pollard, who now wears a Titans jersey, until Carolina traded up with Indianapolis to snatch Brooks, making him the first RB selected in the draft — at No. 46! Looks like the "NFC East No-Repeat Jinx" (no champion from that division has repeated in 20 years) is destined to hold up for at least one more year.

San Francisco 49ers — Not a fan of Ricky Pearsall even at No. 31, as Brandon Aiyuk and Deebo Samuel aren't exactly speed merchants either — meaning that they totally lack what Terry Bradshaw calls "blitz control" (Xavier Legette, taken one pick later by Carolina, might have been a better option). But since they live rent-free inside the heads of both the Eagles and the Cowboys, they will probably make it to the Final Four, where a frigid fate awaits them on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field, or maybe even Soldier Field.

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